Birthday

Happy birthday Miss Sheba. You would have been 16 today. I still have all of your pictures up at my desk at work. I cannot take them down. Some day we will see each other again. Until then, "never to part, baby of mine".

SHEBA'S ASHES.

Mom, Dad and Maya sprinkled some of my ashes up at the cabin this last Sunday. They picked a nice grassy spot that the boat ramp to the Cedar River is normally hooked to. They also sprinkled a little in the river to be carried down stream.

I was there watching over them.

Mom remembered the times I spent with her up at the cabin. The time I ate too much ham and drank to much river water . . . I ran up to her, her brother and dad and puked everything up on them!

The better times when I would run free out in the fields. The time when dad was flying a kite and I was running below it, chasing it and barking like crazy.

I had a lot of special times up at the cabin. Now, I am there forever in the wind, trees, grass and river.

THE LAST BATTLE

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Unknown

DREAM

I had a dream last night that Sheba came to me. She didn't speak to let me know she was okay. All she did was nudge my arm. I woke up after that and couldn't sleep for a long time.

A song came to mind yesterday. One that my mother used to play for me when I was young. It is from the movie made back in 1941, Dumbo. A song called Baby Mine. I played it several times for Sheba yesterday while we were holding each other. She seemed to relax with the music.

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
Never to part, baby of mine.

With Love to all, Julie, Sheba and Maya.

THANKS TO EVERYONE!

Thanks to everyone for the love you have shown myself, Maya and my mom. All we can do is return the love to any one that needs it also. Dogster is a great tool for love and healing. Mom's human friends here in town are afraid the last two days to call her. They don't know what to say and/or do. All the love we have received is from our Dogster pals. Once again, thanks.

Mom is making the absolute right decision tomorrow. She once again doubted herself today until she got home tonight. I have fallen several times tonight, including two times when I was trying to do my female duty. Once I fell, I have not been able to get up by myself. I am so confused that I cannot get up on my own without falling, that I lay on the carpet and bark.

Mom had so much inspiration today on the way home. She was going to lift me into her car and take me for a ride. Let me head hang out the window. She asked me, "do you want to go for a ride?" I didn't. I am just too tired.

Doggers, I am ready for the Bridge. Mom can tell.

I am very much going to miss Maya, mom and dad. I've heard though that there is a party planned for me by Pongo, Elvis, Mercury, Little Snoppy and several others.

I'm scared, and my mom is scared, but we know we will get through everything.

Mom has to go to work tomorrow, but when she gets back and Dr. Comito gets off work, he will come into our home and help me reach the Bridge. Mom, dad and Maya will be there too.

I also know all my Dogster friends and friends at the Bridge will be there too.

Lov'ins. Sheba.

Tonight . . .

Mom is going to explain things tonight.

It was an odd night. I helped old Sheb'z up the first flight stairs to our family room and kitchen. Sheba plopped down and stayed there the rest of the night. I covered her up with the blanket and fed her out of her bowl. If she couldn't see me and/or Scott, she would bark until one of us came to be with her . . . not next to her, but petting and rubbing her. If I stopped or Scott stopped, she would bark.

Sheba had a lot of lov'ins, food and brisket tonight. She is laying in bed with me now. If I don't have any part of my body next to her, she barks . . .

Maya, she hung back tonight. She came over every now and then to sniff Old Sheb'z and that was her extent.

I will be honest. I realized in the last couple days that I have a lot of friends at home. None of them realize about what I am going through. I honestly have to thank all of you on Dogster for the love I have been receiving.

I would like to thank every one personally on my Diary that has said all the kind words and given me zealies. It would take a lot of time to link in your names at this point and my time right now is dedicated to Sheba and Maya. Thank you though, from the bottom of my heart.

THE BRIDGE.

I haven't been doing so well the last two weeks. Mom has to help me up all the flights of stairs and back down all of them. Even with mom's help, I head crash into the stairs on the way up and fall down several sets of stairs on the way down. I also bark all the time now unless mom is within my site.

Mom is trying to justify why she is going to have to put me down on Friday.

She knows it is the right thing to do for me. It is time to let me go so I can play again the way I used to.

It isn't going to be easy on Friday. Mom's vet talked her through what to expect when the time comes. It is so hard to hear what to expect.

Mom has to wait until Friday because of mom's 90 year old grandfather having an eye surgery. He is going to get by wonderfully for sure!

I am laying next to mom right now, and I am so happy to be with her and Maya.

Christmas Card!

Auntie C and Murphy, sent Maya and I a great Christmas card today!

Thanks so much to both of you! It was our first card and GREATLY appreciated! Sooooo much, that Maya and I could smell Murphy on the card! We kept sniffing away at the envelope and card : - )

Thanks Auntie C and Murphy!!!

ZEALIES!!!

Grrrrrrr . . . .

No zealies left?!!

I was going to give out a ton of gifts tonight.

No zealies left.

. . . mom has her (I will be nice here . . . back end . . . ) planted on the couch and won't get up to get her debit card number.

The couch potato has spoken though! She promises she will get off her p"ass"ive "a"gre"ss"ive behavior tomorrow and get me some more zealies!

SO YOU SAY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY?!

It must be my birthday, because I am getting tons of zealies, bones and lov'ins from my Dogster pals! Thanks to all of you! Mom has been returning a lot of the love, but it may take her a while to get through all of them!!

105 today!!! I have been getting lots of hugs, cheese, hamburger and treats from mom! Soooo much, that I had to urp up a couple to make room for more : - )

So you are wondering what a 105 year old dog does for her birthday? Right now Maya and I are dog fighting! Well, Maya fights with me. I just stand there and bark at her!! My stump keeps wagg'in the whole time though!!

Thanks again for the birthday wishes! I've had my ups and downs the last year or so, but I've made it to 105!! Such an accomplishment!