Chief Executive - Scooter Squarepants.

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Scooter's Rulez™

March 12th 2012 9:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Since it's such a gross rainy day outside today, all I've been able to do is watch stuff drip. I decided to put some thought into life and came up with some of the basic Scooter Rulez™.

~Always sleep on a pillow. The more you take up the better. 3 is a starting platform, but if you can get a couple feather pillows curled around...

~Always sit in the front seat. Assume the driver's position if a human butt isn't plopped there already. Still try, sometimes you can get away with it.

~Always make sure you eat all you want. Well at least try.

~Always make sure you have your own chair and insist it be turned if needed to view, well, stuff.

~Always ignore Misty's growls. Just walk on by, walk on by.

~Always make sure you are the most comfortable when you need to sleep.

~Always blink when a picture is being taken.

~Always make sure you can see out the window no matter what chair you have chosen.

~Always guard your SNACK even if you don't want to eat it right away.

~Always bark first and find out if there was a reason to later.

~Always make sure the first SNACK of the day is served in bed.

~Always run back to the food dish after making room for it outside. Same with the water dish.

~Always bark at the noises on TV even if you are watching it and know what is going on.

~Always show Mom how much you love her. Snuggle right on in and make sure her neck gets really out of whack every so often. "Scooter Neck" is not a reason to not go to work it seems.

~Always be the last to go to bed. That way Mom has to lift you in.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

$%^%$^#)(*(^^%*

March 10th 2012 9:07 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Hey eveypup ~Scooter here~

Can you believe the nerve of that..that...that...

EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRREL sticking a peanut in the window box right in front of my face! There was just a window between us or that thing would be peanut flavored roasted EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRREL.

I'm still annoyed and will be for a while.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

No More Late Night Dog Dancing!

February 18th 2012 11:10 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Dang it. Why do I always have to be the dancing partner when Mom decides to revisit the 80's? I don't have enough paws to work out the math, but it sounds ancient.

I got it. Mickey is so fine, and 867 5309 belongs to Jenny.

I think after all that, I might be tempted by a Vegemite Sammich.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

I Need Cool Factor - STAT!

February 18th 2012 3:30 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

A dog can't live on the power of cuteness alone. He also needs fresh water in that stainless steel dish, free flow food, bones, SNACKS™, belleh rubs and a solid 23 hours of sleep.

How, how, how do all you smart pups out there attach pictures on your entries or comments? Mom would love to be able to return the fun cool pictures. What is the secret formula? We needz to knowz (channeling my inner Gollum).

Sniff at ya later, when I gain cool factor ~Scooter~

 

Westminster Kennel Club 136th

February 13th 2012 8:11 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Popcorn for Mom to nibble. Check

Fresh bowl of water. Check.

Full bowl of kibble (I am a nervous eater, and my nerves will be tested tonight). Check.

Greenie. Check.

Pizzle. Check.

Comfy blankie I've molded to my butt. Check.

Milkbone backup. Check.

Gotta go. The Hounds are on!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

Local (to me) Seattle Lady Traps and Eats Squirrels.

January 27th 2012 7:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Mom heard about this a couple weeks ago when the local radio station interviewed the lady and then some of them actually tasted it too.

I am going to do some pawsearch on the inteweb to find out how I can sign Mom up for classes from this lady. Because if she could just trap them for me, heaven has allowed me a glimpse and I like it!

This lady traps EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRRELS and then eats them for dinner. She does other stuff like raises goats and chickens and stuff, but it's all about the EVIL NEMESIS SQUIRRELS in this story.

Here's but just a taste of the story I will give you a link to. I think smoked until it is Squirrel Jerky would be the best way.

*******************************************************

"Squirrel can be tough and somewhat greasy and gamey so it's best to braise, boil or stew it. Soaking it in a simple salt brine will also help tenderize the meat. But otherwise, it's not difficult to prepare.
Food safety dictates that it's best to cook to 165 degrees to kill a possible bacterial contamination. And steer clear of the brains -- scientists believe they could carry Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease, the human form of mad cow disease.
Cooking suggestions:
Brunswick stew
Mulligan stew
Braise meat and remove from bones for 'squirrel-ritos' -- burrito filling"
************************************************** *******

Local Seattle news story.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2017 113840_eatingsquirrels29m.html

International news story.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2092809/Mela ny-Vorass-urban-forager-butchers-eats-squirrels-backyard-Sea ttle.html

Oh, and if you have time, check out the comments for the Seattle version if you can. As the Cheshire Cat would say, "We're all a little crazy around here". BOL.

Sweet dreams all you pups after you read those stories ~Scooter~

 

It's All in the Stare.

January 25th 2012 7:50 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Do you ever find your Mom eating that wonderful thing called "dinner" and think to yourself, I need some of that? I do.

I've almost perfected my method and have been through lots of testing.

I tried hitting Mom's leg to remind her I was down here, but she just banished me from the kitchen.

I tried the pathetic whine, but apparently that is annoying and you get told to "cool it".

I tried barking because maybe my point wasn't being taken seriously, but that just gets you told to "knock it off".

I have almost perfected this and will have to test it out a few more times before I can call success. I now just jump up on my Scooter chair (it turns all the way around so I can demand Mom swivel it so I can see her in the TV room or the kitchen/dining room). Then I just stare at her. Stare and stare and stare and stare and stare. Keep it up, keep staring. Eventually Mom tells me she's feeling guilty and then you get a morsel of tasty food from the magic round plate they hoard to themselves so often.

I'll keep you posted if it turns out to be a success after more testing. Do any of you other pups have better ways of scoring morsels?

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

Honored and a Mental Health Update.

January 24th 2012 9:10 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

Just want to let everyone know that Mom made it to work yesterday. We still have snow in the yard, but almost all of it is gone off the streets. The stuff left on the streets is so ugly with sand it's not even worth peeing on. Trust me.

I was a DDP today for talking about Mom. I suggested I tell the interweb all about how she looks in the morning and see if we could pull in a two-for, but she shushed that idea right up. She isn't as photogenic as I am in the morning I guess.

So thank you Dogster for picking me today. If you pick me tomorrow, I promise I will sneak in an entry on what dog(s) she looks the most like when she wakes up in the morning.

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

Intervention.

January 20th 2012 10:55 am
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

I was nominated for this task because I'm the cutest one of the pack. Go ahead and look. I'll wait.

Waiting.

Oh there you are - still looking at how cute I am. Don't you want to know about the mission I was assigned?

Well come on over - have a Milkbone™ and we'll chat a spell. Fresh water in that bowl? Stainless steel or ceramic? I prefer stainless steel, but that could be me.

So this mission is to inform Mom that we think she might be a little touched in the head, off her rocker, looney (bin and tunes), cuckoo, has bats in the belfry, plum loco (plain loco too), whacked in the head, insane in the membrane, not playing with a full deck, lights are on and nobody is home.

*Scooter takes his paw up next to his head and makes circles, the international sign for crazy* Do you get what I'm saying pups? She's got cabin fever!!

She says it's because all our barking is driving her crazy, but all 4 of us other dogs discussed it and none of US are affected by it at all. See what I'm telling you pups?

Then she tries to tell us it's because she can't self medicate because she didn't plan well for this storm and ran out of Mrs. Zaidie's Bodkadwip™ the first day of snow. This is what we are dealing with - self medication. When if she'd asked for any of our recommendations we'd have prescribed scratching a Papillon's ears 10 minutes every hour.

We've done a bit of research and it seems Bellevue is the place to check her into. Seems most big cities have a "Bellevue" type hospital where they use calm words and have pretty colored walls. They said we could visit here, but not to be too offended if all she did was talk to the walls and sing "Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow".

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 

Chow Time.

January 19th 2012 7:50 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Hey everypup ~Scooter here~

This is day day 6 of being snowbound. I pawsonally have no issue with it since Mom is home all day long and really, my schedule isn't that different. I'm taking Scooter naps all day long no matter if she is here or at what she calls "work".

Chow time tonight was as it always is. First Pepper will wander over for a nice clean drink of water. Then Misty sits behind her and whines and whines. Pepper just keeps drinking water, blocking the food dish. She might take a couple kibbles and munch on them, but she's really just there to block Misty.

Finally Mom will distract Pepper to stop Misty from whining. Then I cue up for being next in line and just go ahead and lie down. This will be a while since Misty has a complaint about just about anything to do with dinner time. First she has to have the food bowl level and no food dish showing at the bottom. She'll just kick the food dish if it is that way. Then she has to eat a hole in the middle of the food dish to the bottom crunch, crunch, crunching the entire time.

If she sees you out of the corner of her eye she will stop all crunching and growl at you. Even if you didn't even move a nose whisker. Once that happens she notices she can see the bottom of the food dish because she ate a hole in the middle and starts kicking the dish and whining again.

Once Misty has decided she is done I usually step in. I like to take my kibble on tour of the living room. I take some over here and eat. I take some over there and eat. I take some over by Mom and eat, then burp. I take some back over by the dish and eat. Eat, eat, eat, burp.

Cutter usually likes to eat at different times than all of us. I think he might be embarrassed he just stands there and eats. Weirdo!

Sniff at ya later ~Scooter~

 
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