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Polly Tickin' and Poo Pickup

February 19th 2011 5:01 pm
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I have decided that I don much like polly tickin'.

Mom was outside today, pickin' up poo after all the snow melt we've had. The turds were all exposed everywhere, but the cold snap had frozen them back up. Mom said that's the best time to get out and get rid of 'em all. Said that was what polly tickin' was like right now in our state. S*** all over the place, but frozen for now. When things heat up it's gonna smell really bad.

Hunh? I dunno. I guess it's good to get our poo outta there. I can find the rabbit raisins more easily now. That's a good thing. Also we don walk in stuff and get it on our paws and then get yelled at for jumpin' on the couch or the bed. That's a good thing. I don slip up when chasin' squirrels neither. That's a good thing.

An' no one can do any votin' on Monday cuz it's Mom's birfday, which is a national hollyday, so those polly tickers in our state capitol can't make messes until Tuesday.


Collecting Bargains

February 18th 2011 5:55 am
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The humans in charge here in Wussconsin are tryin' to take away the collective bargainin' rights of teachers. Mom's not a teacher, but she does collect bargains. Left and Right. All the time! This is not good!

I think everyone should be able to collect as many bargains as they want. Bargains on dog food! Bargains on dog toys! Bargains on treats!

What is this world comin' to?


Bye Kaiser and Arooo for the Grammas!

February 13th 2011 8:10 pm
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Kaiser went back to his own house tonight. Mom invited me into her bedroom wif Lexie and then she shut the door wif us on one side and her on the bigger side! That's when Kaiser's Dad showed up. No fair! I din get to say goodbye or nuthin'. Wha's up wif that? Mom said we are too excitin' for company.

Mom is watchin' the TV wif somethin' called Grammas. Most of the people on there do not look like our Oma. They dress really funny and they move around way more better than our Oma can move around. They aren't old, either. Some of the boys, or maybe they are Grandads or Opas, look kinda old . . . and some of them are so skinny. They look like my favorite - bully sticks! I could chew them in half!

Funny, cuz Mom says lots of them are old enough to be Opas and Omas but they are tryin' to hide that fact. If the whole show is 'bout Grammas, who are they tryin' to fool anyway? You gots to be really old to be a Gramma. (Mom is shakin' her head and sayin' no you don. People younger than Mom are Grammas.) I dunno. There's somethin' called a Gaga an' M&Ms (yummy) an' a Beeber or Beeper or somethin'.

This is jus a bunch of people jumpin' 'round and makin' awful noises and wearin' really weird stuff. I could do that wifout even tryin', 'cept for the wearin' weird stuff. I would need help wif that.


Egyptian Guy Resigns!

February 11th 2011 11:00 am
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Hey pups, did you hear that More-Bark-Ick stepped down in Egypt? He was makin' a big stink an' the peoples of his country were gettin' really mad. I hope this means that things get better over there and that dogs are given what they need an' all that 'portant stuff.

I am leanin' to read the news. Am I doin' good?


The Meatz Packers Won the Bowl!

February 6th 2011 7:46 pm
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I hope that bowl they won is packed wif meatz! ARoooooo!


Herr Kaiser ist Hier! OMD!

February 6th 2011 8:20 am
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I could not belief it when Kaiser showed up at our front door yesterday! Mom din not tell me that he was comin' to visit. She said she din need me to be any more exciting than I already am.

So Kaiser is here for a whole week! That's more than three days! Woohoo and arooooooo!!!! We are gettin' along famously - runnin' and jumpin' and humpin' and hoppin'!

Kaiser is not afraid of jumpin' up onto our tall snow piles. I have not yet followed him into the deep parts, but he is intrepid! Lexie said so!

This is gonna be the bestest week of my life, I can jus tell.


The Kitchen is a Crime Scene!

February 3rd 2011 6:20 pm
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I din know Mom was mad, but suddenly it looks like she don killed somebuddy in the the kitchen! There was blood and guts all over the place this morning after our breakfast. It smelled really really good, but Mom wouldn't let us near it. She made us stay out of the kitchen and she worked hard to clean up the evidence.

Only when all the red stuff was wiped up did she let us come in and have a look around. Lexie said it was only chili, but it really looked like some squirrels met their end in that room. Oh I wish I couldda been in there when she got 'em. How did she get 'em anyway? I been chasin' them for lots of times in our yard and I can't get 'em. She musta put out some squirrel poison for them and then when they fell over she bopped them on the head wif one of those heavy fryin' pans and then dragged 'em into the kitchen, all when I wasn't lookin', and butchered them bad. I mean bad, cuz she made a mess.

What is chili?


True Dirt

January 29th 2011 9:09 am
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Mom said she is gonna see a movie today 'about Real Dirt. It is a Western Movie, which means she is goin' to the movie place on the West Side of town. She said it features Bridges. I figured on horses, but what do I know? (Don anser that, Lexie . . . grrrr)


Packers and Bears, Oh My!

January 25th 2011 7:14 pm
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The football peoples were playin' 'gain last weekend and appawrently the Wisconsin team won the game. They looked like a bunch of really big guys in tights. Kinda silly.

And what's up wif that thing they are calling a "ball?" I'm so sorry, but that is not a ball. Balls are round and they roll in a nice straight line. That thing they throw around is nothin' like a ball. Lexie said it is made of pig skin. Now that part is interestin'! Now I get why they are fightin' over it so bad.

Anyway, I heard that because they played so good, now they get to go bowlin'. I hope they don use that stoopid ball, cuz that will never knock the pins down. It don roll right.



January 23rd 2011 10:09 am
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All our pals have been barkin' 'bout their pawrents makin' woofles lately . . . so Mom finally made us some today! Lexie says she really made them for the humans, but we did get to eat some, so I don care who she made them for. They were uber-yummy! That is my German leakin' thru for you. Uber is like very. I dunno how to make those little dots over letters cuz I think uber needs dots. Whatevfur.

The cold isn't as cold today and I have gone outside and chased Squirrels lots of times. Did you know that yesterday was National Squirrel Appreciation Day? That is so silly! They's not good for much but chasin'. I guess I owe some of my health and well-formed leg muscles to them. Maybe that's why I gots the bestest evfur girlpup Gretta? I think she loves me for who I am and not my butt, but it's can't hurt. BOL!

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