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Buddy's Beat

Op-Ed: Cats

October 26th 2008 1:32 pm
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I met a cat the other day and I just have to say that cats are much maligned. They are sneaky, sly and full of razors on their deceptively soft-looking paws. They steal stuff and walk across the table and hide when guilty. I do not like them one bit!

*Lexie interrupts* Um, Buddy? I think you are misunderstanding what maligned means.

B: No I'm not. I mean it - they are no good, mean and squishy vandals!

L: Yes, but that isn't what maligned means. It means--

B: I know what it means, Miss Smarty Pants! All those bad things begin with M, like . . . like . . . like mean! And like murdurous, malicious, malignant, misanthrope, miserable --

L: Yes, but maligned means--

B: - and messy and mucky and muy malo and Mordor, or as Aragorn would say it, "Morrrrrdorrrrrr."

L: But Buddy, maligned as you are using it means misrepresented in a negative fashion, and surely you aren't insinuating that these vile creatures are being maliciously misrepresented by their detractors, such as you obviously are, are you?

B: (silence) I don't like cats.

The editor of this diary wishes to state that the opinions contained herein are not necessarily shared with the editor, but the one who most uses this diary does have an understandably negative view towards certain other species due to inexperience and/or ignorance that sometimes rears its ugly head within these entries. Our apologies are hereby extended in advance to felines everywhere who may read these opinions and take umbrage.


Buddy Grau


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