This Is No Joke!

I know I used to always poke fun at China and call her a wuss and stuff but I never wanted her to go away. I don't understand it, she was her two days ago and now I don't see her. Even last night I went to check her bed and she was not there. I even sniffed around to see if she was hiding somewhere.

Then today mom sat me down and told me China has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. I asked her if I could go too but she said it was not my turn yet. I asked mom when China would come back home and mom told me China is never coming back. I know I have a little brain but I still can't understand all of this. Mom said China was really sick and her little body just could not handle anymore so the Pommie angels called her home.

As prissy and as sappy China was I really did love her. I will miss her little quirky ways and the way she used to sit so innocently and get me in trouble.

China you were fun to have around and it won't be the same without you. I wish I could do something to cheer mom up she is just so sad.

I just put my paw to my eyes to wipe away my tears. China could you please watch over us and send a sign to mom.

I love you China, bye for now.

Blowed Up

I warned mom but would she listen to the lil' wise one? Nooooo!

This past weekend was Thanksgiving in Canada so I had mom in the kitchen cooking. I gave her a list of all the foods I wanted on menu so she was chopping, mixing and stirring. Lots of commotion coming from the kitchen so I had to pipe up and tell her to keep it down while I napped before the big dinner.

Now you are probably wondering what I warned her about, right? I told mom she should not give China any other nibbles other then her bland diet. China's sensitive stomach and Thanksgiving cuisine do not mix. Mom knows this but all that whiny, sappy, China has to do is look at mom and well... Mom said if she gives to one she has to give to the other. Fine! Pumpkin pie and whipped cream - can't get better then that. After I gobbled no pun intended) my share up I sat back and waited.

Sure enough before long China was whizzing around in circles by the door to go out. Well HOLY DYNA, mom snatched China up and out they went. They barely made it outside when the poo started to spew like a oil geyser - I just sat back with my Pommie paws crossed laughing my fuzzy head off.

Once back inside mom was mumbling to China about wiping the mess up and no more treats for her. Yes!! Music to my Pommie ears as I got up and stretched I whispered PU in China's ear.
I smiled at mom and said MORE TREATS PLEASE!

Decay of Civilization!

Dang, this morning when mom was brushing my fur out and putting a clean t-shirt on me I knew my day was headed downward. Before I could paw my eyes open we were bumping along the country road. With the window cranked down I could smell the fresh spring air but WAIT, that's not spring air I smell, it's, it's, it's..."THE VET CLINIC"!!!
Lo and behold before I knew it mom was signing the admission papers and pushing China and I over the counter to the dreaded lady. The next thing I know I'm waking up in a metal holding cell. I don't remember a thing, honest and I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment.
What seemed like an eternity finally a lady came and took me and China from the prison cell. We both wore bright orange bandages wrapped around our front legs. At least I think they were bandages or could they be prison garb or ankle monitoring devices?
Mom was laughing her head off saying "oh, CoCo you looked like you been put through the washing machine" because my facial fur was damp and scrunched down. I did not find this funny, one bit and if I had anything to up-chuck I would have, right there in front of everyone, how funny would that be?
It's like someone flicked a switch because soon as we were home mom was all lovey-dovey. Talking in that stupid, sick, little animal baby, sappy voice! "Oh, CoCo are you ok", "CoCo I know, I know it'll be ok, mom's here". This was enough to make any Pommie poo-poo the bed!
So I lay and whimper and cry because I had 6 teeth out, stitches and the vet said my throat was a bit swollen. Mom tried to give me my antibiotic pill but I was having no part of it. That is until she brought the ice cream out and gave me a big spoonful, pill and all.
"The Puff" will not live with this tyranny and I'll have mom eating out of my paws...

Spring Has Sprung!

Mom said she hates this time of year. I can't understand why? The snow is melting, the days are longer, the sun is shining and I can sit on the deck and snooze. Then I peak around the corner and see mom crouched down with a white plastic bag on one hand and another very full plastic bag in the other hand. Ewwee, dog poopies! Mom is ranting and raving about how China and I should be out there helping her pick up the "land mines" we left over the winter. Granted we have our special place on the gravel but as you can imagine it is quite the scene come spring thaw. I can tell you "The Puff's" paws WILL NOT paw the poop so I guess mom is on her own. Besides someone has got to supervise and tell her when she missed one, tee-hee.

Gotta run now it is time for my bathroom break, poor mom, ha-ha!

What The Puff!!!

Ahem, hello anyone out there? Is that all I get for my birthday? I couple of pats on the belly and a "happy birthday Little CoCo Puff". That's it! I thought mom would rustle me up some eggs and bacon for a special birthday breakfast but all I got was the same old dried up kibbles. Then I got all excited because she said we were going outside and when we got outside all she could say was "CoCo, hurry up and poo because I'm freezing".

I really thought this birthday would be different because mom was in the kitchen yesterday cooking and baking. Surely, the slow roasted pork ribs and the CoConut cream pie was for me. NOT! Mom had guests over and they devoured everything in sight, sickening really!

So here I am contemplating my b-day in my cozy bed and wondering is this how "The Puff" is going to be treated? I want what I so rightfully deserve: treats, special grub, ice cream, fizzy refreshments, cozy sweaters, toys, doggie walks and lots and lots of mushy attention lavished on ME.

Memo to mom: if the above does not happen the next time to say "hurry up and poo", well...

Mom's Trip On The Strip!

Ok, I'm chillin' at Auntie Esther's palace when she informs me I received an e-mail from my mom. I am really trying not to laugh but ha-ha, ha-ha, hee-hee...

Just a couple of days before mom is leaving for home she decides to go on one last shopping trip. She is striding down the Las Vegas strip when the heel of her shoe rolls on something and down she goes, he-he, snort. The pebble was the size of a navy bean and felt like she was walking on a ball bearing. Can you picture this in the theatre of your mind? She jarred her wrist, has a cut and bruise on her foot. Mom said her foot was swollen, red and it was so sore she had to ice it. Or was that more ice in the margaritas? She could barely walk for a day but her paw is showing signs of improvement. Perhaps if mom can't walk on two legs she needs four, tee-hee, ha-ha. "The Puff" thinks maybe one to many mile high margaritas from Margaritaville! SEARCHING FOR MY LOST SHAKER OF SALT...

I am sure glad I was not keeping company with her while she was doing the Vegas rock and roll - I guess I would have had to pretend I wasn't with her. I have an image to uphold and can't be seen with an accident waiting to happen.

I wonder what kind of neat gifts mom bought me!!!!!

Did It Her Way!

China sure goes to great lengths to get some attention. If you have read her diary you know she was attacked at the vet clinic on Saturday. Of course mom raised so much fuss and love on her it was enough to make me chuck up my din-din!

"The Puff" is more subtle in getting attention lavished on me. Like last night for instance, well let me explain. I was on the couch resting on a plushy pillow beside mom. Oh, I was just ready to stretch out for a little nap when I had a gas attack and let out a big fart. Well it scared the crap (no pun intended) out of me and I ended up rolling and getting stuck between the pillow and the arm of the couch. I could have ended up in cyber-couch forever but mom plucked me out.

Yep, I am very subtle in getting attention.

More beans please.

Diary Of A Mad Tan Pomeranian!

Mom said I'm full of myself; not sure what she means. Ok, I did gift myself on Dogster with a wee hotdog. Well I am one of the picks for "Diary of the Day" so I think I deserve it. That was one tasty weenie!

You may be wondering where does the mad come into all of this. Well Mom just came home with a new summer t-shirt for me. Whoa, I am not wearing that eyesore! First, the shirt is brillant blue with a floral pattern all over it. Second, it comes with a matching floral cap. Third, 'The Puff" DOES NOT DO LYCRA OR SPANDEX! I will not be prancing around looking like a Lance Armstrong clone - not this pommie! Mom said I have to look fetching for Canada Day tomorrow. I told Mom no way; with all the fireworks going off "The Puff" could go poof wearing all that spandex.

Wait a minute, "poof wearing all that spandex"; oh China...

Magic Mushrooms?

Holy dyna! I thought this was part two of the Chernobyl disaster! Ok, here is the blow by blow (pun intended) of what happened. Yesterday was my human (well I question that) Mom's birthday. She gets this great idea that she is going to make homemade cream of mushroom soup. All morning she is slicing, dicing and sauteing a variety of mushrooms - smells kind of funny to me. Anyway later that afternoon she gets the warp speed blender out and proceeds to pour the mushroom concoction into the blender. Puts the lid on and presses a few buttons. I try to warn Mom but she is in her Epicurean moment so it is a no go. So the demon machine is whirring, whizzing and humming along. Then POP, SWOOSH AND SPLAT! Well shut my yap! The lid had popped off the blender and now there was a mini-cloud of mushrooms spewing about the room. Mom was frantic and swearing but she finally got that dang machine turned off. Whew! There was mushrooms on the counter, under the cabinets, on Mom's clothes and hair.

All the time I had been sitting and watching this very entertaining skit but now the show was over. I got up, yawned and did a little doggie stretch, turned around and chuckled and laughed all the way to my dog bed. I still can't get the images out of my pea sized brain, tee-hee, haw, haw, haw, he-he, he-he...

Where is Julia Childs when you need her!

Crate Sanctuary

I swear my Mom is losing it. For days now she has been running to the computer to check her email messages. She is stressing that she hasn't heard from Hoss' Mom for awhile. Babbling on about maybe she did or said something to offend Hoss' Mom. I told Mom to chill because she was starting to act like China and that has me real worried. We don't need two spazzes in this household. Somedays it takes all my willpower not to paw China upside the head when she is going around in circles. Now Mom too!

Come to find out that Hoss' Mom has been sending the emails to the wrong address! Yeesh, she has only been sending emails to my Mom for two years now. Good thing Hoss and I set them both straight. We laid it on the line for them: clean up your act, start acting like responsible adults and get those taxes DONE!

We know our words will fall on deaf ears so we took matters into our own paws. We did the only thing we could. We didn't want to but our paws were tied. We locked our Moms in the crate until we see a change in tude (attitude)!

Hoss, forget the diet we are on our own now!!!!!