My Skaree Storee fer Pugapalooza

It wuz a cold, dark night an' dere wuz a chill in da air. Da lawn iz freezin' over an' da deck iz slipperee so I triez ta get my biznezz done kwik. Da lightz flicker a bit den go out so I goez ta lay down by da fire ta keep my emtpy coin purse warm until bed time. *grin* I eatz my dinner in da dark.

Da onlee light iz from da softlee glowin' fire. Sumpin' jest ain't soundin' right but I iz frozen to da spot. Strange noisez move through da house an' I can't find da mommy. Soon, dere iz odd smellz comin' after me followed by dem spooky soundz!

I dash down da hallway an' into da parental unitz' room where my cuddle bed iz an' I run ta my bed but I hitted my head on da wall an' passed out.

When I waked up it seemed dat da smell had turned into dis foul stench dat wuz unbearable an' dere wuz a huge weight upon my head. I could hardly breathe an' couldn't move a muskle.

Da lightz camed back on an' I hearded muffled laffin'. I wantz ta check it out but I jest can't move so I digz my feet in an' push reelly hard! So hard dat I mighta tooted a bit. Dat'z when da stench got ta me. I tinked I wuz gonna suffokayte but I managed ta grab a piece of sumtin' flabby an' bited as hard as I could.

Den I waked up ta find dat Fatty sister of mine sittin' on my head! She jumped up an' runned wif her butt on da ground, yelpin'!

I iz a skaree manpug!

I'm a Low-Rider!

See da hoomanz tink it'z very funnee ta call me all kindz of namez. Sum iz gud, sum not so much. Take fer example, The PeeMeister. Now...okay, I might resemble dat sumtimez cuz, well, I iz "jest sayin'" dat I iz here an' I iz a pug-man now. I can even understand when dey call me Poopzilla. I mean - hey! What self-respectin' pugger don't leave da occasional prezzie layin' aroun' da house, yew know? Dem even callz me Freak. Again, I can't complain cuz I wuz borned wif bad kneez - at least da hoomanz fixed dem fer me.

But I tink I has ta put my paw down when dem startz callin' me da Low-Rider. Now, it izn't my fault dat I likez ta bug Mizz Fatty by tryin' ta get my groove ting on. An' it ain't even my fault dat I can't straighten my kneez out all da way...at least I ain't all jiggly wiggly like HER! So now my whole page iz all doned up, I gotz me a hoodie on, da perfect song (according ta daddy, anybark) an' I iz STILL gettin' da shaft! Wut'z wrong wif dem hoomanz?

If'n dem iz gonna callz me da Low-Rider, den dat wuld imply I gotz me a reputayshun ta uphold, right? Oh no...da hoomanz iz jest mean. Dem letz dat Fatty sister of mine get away wif everyting! Why jest last night she wuz laffin' at me an' kepted chargin' after my cute little mug face! Da nerve, right? Well, I knowed wut it wuz about, she iz tired of my attenshunz. Okay, I getz it. Well...her iz very "healthy" so I jest started ta plop over onto my back wif my legz all relaxed. She sniffed an' sniffed. I dont' know wut she tinked wuz so gud about dat...but dat iz why I iz da Low-Rider. Cuz I been livin' on my back.

I tink I needz a new home! I iz bein' used an' abused!! I iz puttin' myself up fer adopshun so send in yer resumez.

Hercules da discompuglated pugger

My summer vacayshun

Otay, my summer wuz better den I tinked it wuld be. I spended more time recoverin' frum my knee surgereez but da mommy letted me outta my crate in late July becuz my musklez had atrophied. (Dat meanz da musklez wented away.) So da mommy watched me very closely ta make shur I didn't do no jumpin' or anyting dangerous dat culd pop da pinz outta my kneez an' worked wif me dis summer on buildin' up my musklez. It musta worked, too, cuz da vet lady wuz reelly surprized at how well I wuz doin' considerin' da amount of bone she tooked out. She sez I iz turnin' out ta be one mighty handsome pugger an' she be very proud of me! Whoo-hoo!!

Den, me an' Mizz Fatty got ta work on our tanz an' our love wrinklez. Dat iz alwayz a lot of fun! I iz turnin' into a reelly gud fud stealer! BOL!!

Dis bringz me ta my reel reason fer postin'...we gotsta prepare fer da lekchure on badness which will include - yew guessed it - fud stealin'!

Stay tuned!

I've been Tagged and Love Tagged by my palz...course da- mommy iz jest now gettin' ta bizness...

Doodz -

I wuz tagged by sum reelly gud palz an' we iz reelly late in replyin'. So, here iz who tagged me:

Tan-Gi Lin, Jubal, Raven, Odie, Gabby, Spivey, Sootie, Elliot Jay, Daisey Mae, Bear, Tug, Nani, Seakie, Phoebe, Cindy Baby Love, Gizmo, Kitty, Furby, Hana Chan, and Mia Pia!!

Da rulez of da game iz as followz: Each player will list 7 random factz about him/herself. Dogz who iz tagged needz ta post in dere diary The Rules an' dere 7 Pawsome Facts. Den dey choose 7 other dogz ta tag an' list dere namez. Don’t ferget ta bark dem a pmail dat dey wuz tagged an' ta read yer diary fer da info!

1. I iz a "teacup" pugger.

2. I wuz borned wif bad kneez an' had surgeree on dem bof at 7 months!

3. I duz da Pugtona 500 super fast wif my legz reachin' all da way ta my head as I goez!

4. I goez nutz fer piggie earz.

5. I love ta be reelly reelly reelly warm an' toasty.

6. I bark at my fud.

7. Every day is Christmas in my house because I iz Santy Paws an' leave little prezzies around da house fer my hoomanz.


Now fer da fun part, tag yer it now!!

1. Herbie - cuz yer my partner in crime
2. OCC - yer my badness buddee
3. Kaki-Ling - cuz yer a sweet pal
4. Princess Vala V - cuz yew got sum great style
5. Rowdy - cuz yew jest rock
6. Napoleon Maximus - cuz I tink dis iz a hoot
7. Nike - cuz enquirin' mindz wanna know! BOL!

Da Moose iz a Hunter!

Dat'z right! Dat Moosie boy likez bugz an gulrz! eeeewwww!!!

But I jest hafta say dat I used my puggie badness an skared him away frum MY pad! Hiz hoomanz FINALLY posted lost signz an' it turned out dat my Moose iz a Hunter. He don't act like no stinkin' hunter, if'n yew ask me! Sheesh! Him wented away wif hiz fambly so we kepted hiz number fer da next time he digz his way out or decides ta pay us a visit! Next time he izn't gonna steal none of my piggie earz or my fud! I tink I gotz plenty of time ta figure out my next move...

Ta all da bad boyz in da club...we might have our next bouncer or puggy bus? Wut duz yew all tink?

Hercules da brave

We Have MOOSE!

So here I iz jest mindin' my own bizness last night...da crazy hooman boy wuz in bed sleepin', we wuz fed an' content restin' by da mommy...den, da daddy comed home wif dis ginormous beast! Culd it be a monster here ta eat us up? Culd it be a horsie ta take to da rodeo? Dat wuld be too kewl!

So Daddy bringed dis beastie into da homestead an dis ting iz waggin' like mad an' boy duz it ever sting ta get whipped by it! I iz convinced dis must be sum kinda torture ta get back at me fer peein' all over da nightstand an' da wall! But I digress - dis monstrous beast iz all black an' furry! He camed runnin' inside an' tryin' ta sniff me an' Mizz Fatty in places we jest ain't used ta bein' sniffed!

I heared da parental units' talkin' 'bout a dog. Dat izn't no dog! It'z a MOOSE!!! Dem sed dis moose iz called a Labrador Retriever but if'n yew ask me he don't do so gud at dat retrievin' bizness! He iz jest huge an' I iz surprised he can move much less retrieve! Oh, here I goez digressin' again...

So dem letted dis moosie sleep in da garage an' gived him lotz of fud stuff, piggie earz, a roll up, my gorilla an' a hedgehog ta play wif. Den telled him ta curl up in da big blankie an' be gud til mornin'. Daddy wented out drivin' all over tryin' ta find sumpug who knowed him cuz he almost runned him over wif his big truck last night an' he wuz worried. Nopug knowed dis dood an' he didn't have no collar or tagz - nuttin'. Da hoomanz taked him to da vet ta get scanned but he don't got no chip so...dem putted up signz all over da place hopin' dat sumpug wuld call. Dem tink he might've been dumped cuz he'z a little arthritic an' haz a bad knee...

I has ta say - da moose iz very nice but I jest don't tink I shuld hafta be on my bestest behavior to dis big galoot! I tink I shuld be able ta bark at will an' I really tink dis moose shuld not be stealin' my hard earned piggie earz! Man! If I wuz about ten hunnerd more pounds an' 10 more feet tall I'd give dat boy a wut fer!

Dem iz hopin' Moose's hoomanz will call an' take him home cuz we don't want him ta hafta go to da pound or a rescue...me an' Mizz Fatty (an' unofficially, offically da mommy) iz tinkin' dat it wuldn't reelly be so bad ta have da old guy around...he'z purdy kewl in a Moosie kinda way...mebbe we can convince Daddy dat dis iz jest meanted ta be cuz he'z alwayz wanted one of dem tingz...he jest hoped fer a golden one ta match everyting.

Hercules da Bad - Out!