Bela's Barkings

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A year

November 15th 2010 7:30 pm
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A year has gone by since your passing, so today I put on my running shoes and went for a run honoring you.

When my very first step hit the road I began thinking of you. Remembering how we used to run side by side, how you always were there for me, by my side, at each step of the way, not only when I trained for races or ran for fun but in every day life, helping me to face all that the future hold in store.

I recalled how you used to give sneaky kisses, how you liked to sleep by my side, how we used to seek each other for comfort and cuddles. How you used to run and jump like crazy each time I came back home, like if days had gone by and not only a few hours; as if the world had just stopped for you until I came back to meet you.

i remembered that sunny Sunday morning when you last cuddle by my side and took your very last breath. That day it was my turn, that day the world stopped for me, right when I got that I was never to see you again, never to have one more of your sneaky kisses or saw your wagging tale. for a while I just stood there.

For 15 years you were my friend. When you were a puppy everybody wanted to be near you and meet you, you were so cute and lovely and adored to play and dance. When you were an adult it was your peak, you were strong, agile and fast. Watching you enjoy a run was beautiful as your entire being spoke of freedom. As you grew old you became wise, you learn to maintain a steady, constant pace, to be patience, when to fight and when to concede.

So much has happened since you been gone. Some bad, some good. But what I can tell you, my pretty girl, is that not a day has gone by without me thinking about you, without me missing you.

You came into my life and made a difference, thought me so much. In time I can only aspire to be as you thought me: gentle, wise, patient and of course, a little sneaky.

I love you pretty girl, you are and forever will be in my heart.

 

Dear girl, pretty girl

March 4th 2010 3:05 pm
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Time can't cure my heart
I still long for you and now
it is clear for me
I always will.

The other night we were running
together, as before
just the two of us
side by side, pace by pace
heartbeat to heartbeat.

And when I woke up I knew
that's the way it will always be
You and me together
heartbeat to heartbeat
because there is where you are
within me, in my heart.

I love you pretty girl.

 

My dearest,

December 7th 2009 9:49 am
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It's been 3 weeks.
3 weeks without you.
My heart still aches,
I found you in dreams,
awaken,
your memory lingers,
it always will.

I miss your presence,
your company
and your lovely tail
wagging.
each time my hand
met your head, wagging
each time our eyes met.
wagging
each time I called your name.

I have a void now.
That void is you.
And it hurts,
I hope in time,
the pain will stop
only good memories to remain
and to fill in that void.

Until then I know,
I will miss you.
Mom

 

To my dearest

November 17th 2009 10:04 am
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For your joy of speed,
your joy of life.
Your sneakiness
and incredible strength.
Know that you were loved
and you will ever be,
each and every day.

You were a bittersweet flavor,
stubborn,
adorable,
and a real lady,
For these qualities you were admired.

I will miss you
forever more.
You were wise enough
to teach me
the value of life,
the true meaning of fidelity
and the true meaning
of what it is
to take care of
your loved ones.

Always took such good care of me.
Always patient with me.
Allowing me to learn for myself.
Always forgiving.

Farewell my dearest one,
be free to run once more
like we did so many times.
Until we meet to run again,
I will cherish your memory.

You are always,
always,
in my heart.

-Mom.

 

A Farewell for Bela

November 15th 2009 4:13 pm
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To all our friends,

I'm Bela's Dad, writing on her behalf.

Sadly, our beloved Bela has passed away.

She died peacefully on a Sunday, November the 15th, at her home, surrounded by her family.

We are confident we didn't put her through any undue suffering; we sought to give her a chance to normalize her digestive system. Still, the past few days were especially difficult for her. She gave her best and made us keep pushing her a bit farther, based on what we saw in her eyes: a will to go on and beat all the odds, as she'd always done.

This sunday she seemed a bit happier and stronger. After her short morning walk in the yard, we decided to put her in our bed (which she loves). The autumn sun was coming in through the window. She curled up in a ball (hadn't done that in several weeks) and fell placidly asleep, while her mom, whom she's been with since she was a puppy, gently scratched her head.

It was then that Bela felt happy and safe. It was here, in the company of her mom, who'd been with her for so long, and near all his family, that she decided her time with us was at its end. She died without pain, just faded away as briskly as she'd lived her entire life.

Her constant presence, her understanding, independent and self-reliant nature, her joy for life and her loving nose-rubs will be missed; more than she'll ever know. We know, though, that the end of the road had come for her. Thus, we let her go, knowing that this was the best for her.

For the rest of the pack: Aullido, Tallulah, and of course Mom & Dad, life goes on; and we owe it to Bela to live it to the fullest. We owe it to her to always be a bit stubborn, a bit sneaky, a bit reckless, never to stay behind, and of course to always, always keep wagging our tails.

To all of our friends here at Dogster, we thank you with all our heart for your help, your support, your kind and encouraging words, and for being there for us. We will keep in touch.

Kindest regards,
- Bela's Mom & Dad.

 

I'm a bit better now!

November 11th 2009 11:59 am
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Hey all! I'm doing a bit better!

I'm still not out of the woods, but I've been regaining a bit of strength, I can walk a bit, but mom or dad have to carry me to the yard so I can pee and walk a few steps. I'm however still using the intravenous drip and feeding tube, which mean I need constant supervision and attention.

Mom was thrilled yesterday when we went to the vet, who was amazed that I was in fact recovering and not going down like he thought I would. To his credit, he did say he hoped his predictions were wrong! I bet he was surprised when I tried to jump off the examination table ;)

We all know this is no time to lower our guard; we all need to be attentive and careful with my treatment, but from the looks of it, in a few days I might be able to try to eat and drink by myself again. Then, hopefully these awful tubes will come off my tummy and paw!

Thank you, all my Dogster friends who have thought of me and sent me their best wishes and encouragement. Mom, dad and myself truly appreciate it, it makes these difficult times somewhat easier. We hope to be there for you if you ever need it.

For the time being, I'm still here! off to rest a bit, bye!

 

I'm back home!

November 8th 2009 5:01 pm
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Hey all! I'm finally back home, after 4 days in the hospital. The doctor was adamant to send me home, but he said I wasn't recovering well, and there was little more they could do for me at the hospital. So they decided to send me home and to hope for the best.

I won't kid you folks; things are pretty ugly with me. I feel really weak and can't stand up on my own, I have a tube going into my paw and another one into my intestines (the jejunum if you're into that sort of thing). I also need to have medicine shots put into my IV line twice or thrice a day, mom & dad had to buy half the pharmacy for me and they're not too thrilled about giving me shots but they're willing to do it. Yes, this is no life for a dog, especially not one as active as myself.

I'm an old dog and I've had a long and active life, and however difficult things might look for me right now, I'm where I need to be, where I've always been happy: with my family.

I'm off to sleep some more now, but rest assured I'll be back here soon.

See ya'll!

 

At the hospital

November 6th 2009 8:33 am
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Hey all, I'm not doing so well. Here's what happened.

Turns out my gastritis wasn't so easy to solve after all. Even with intravenous fluid therapy, I wasn't feeling too well, and I started throwing up. Mom & dad had to take me to the hospital where the doctor did an ultrasound and found my stomach full of liquid, because I had an obstruction.

He painted a bleak picture: without any treatment I'd certainly die, but the only effective treatment, surgery, was too risky given my weakness and heart condition.

Mom & dad discussed it and made a hard decision: they'd go ahead with surgery, understanding I might not wake up from anesthesia. I understood, too, and I vowed to give it my best and keep fighting.

Surgery was scheduled for the next day. However, when we went back home for me to rest and get ready for surgery, my tummy started hurting a lot. Mom said I looked like a balloon. She called dad and we rushed to the hospital, where tests showed my stomach was filling with gas. Luckily it wasn't the dreaded bloat, just a nasty build-up of gas and liquid. I had to go under anesthesia to get my stomach pumped, and then remained overnight at the hospital. I hate staying at the hospital! but after being in so much pain, I actually had a good night's rest.

The next day mom & dad arrived and spent a while with me, while I got ready for surgery. They put me to sleep and I woke up feeling quite nasty, but mom was with me when I woke up.

It turns out my pancreas was swollen and was constricting my intestines, which caused the obstruction. The doctor placed a tube in my intestine, which comes out of my side, and I'll be fed through the tube, for several days while my pancreas recovers. After that, mom says, my stomach and pancreas will start working again and I'll be able to eat, although it'll have to be a special diet.

However I had to remain at the hospital. I'm now really sad because I hate the hospital. But hey, I owe it to everyone to give it a try and get better: to the doctors who helped me and did great work against terrible odds due to my condition, and mainly, to my family, especially mom, who didn't give up on me, realized I still want to be with them for a while longer, and chose to give me one more chance.

I'll keep you posted, right now I have to go because the doctor's coming and they'll get mad if they find out I snook out to use their computer ;)

 

My humans!

November 2nd 2009 1:17 pm
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Hey! My humans haven't had the easiest time lately. First Aullido started with his cancer and chemotherapy, then he had emergency surgery for a bladder stone. He's out of the woods, but right after his last stitches came out, I got really sick. Turns out what was hurting my tummy was a nasty gastritis, probably caused by the heart medication I'm taking. However since I refused to eat or drink, the gastritis medication (lots of it) hasn't been acting effectively enough. As a result I got dehydrated and felt dizzy and weak, I had no energy, but I couldn't sleep, I was thirsty but didn't feel like drinking water, and I threw up anything I ate or drank.

This morning I went to the vet and he sent me home with an intravenous drip. I will have to go to the hospital constantly these next few days, but at least I'm feeling a bit better, because when dehydrated, my kidneys started malfunctioning and I was feeling terrible from the waste building up in my blood.

Mom & dad have been really worried lately because it looked like I was just going downhill without any way to make me get better. We're all hoping hydration will keep me well for a while longer, at least until the rest of the medication kicks in and I'm able to eat and drink by myself. Yes, I'm still willing to give it a try, with mom & dad's help!

I'm off to sleep for now, I'll let you know how I'm faring in a couple of days. Not easy to type with dog's paws AND the intravenous tubes in my arm!

 

My tummy hurts!

October 29th 2009 11:30 am
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Hey all! I'm still here but I'm not doing so well. Actually, as the vet would say, I'm amazing! but I've been feeling a bit sick lately.

Last week my heart started acting up, I had 3 syncopes in 3 days and I was very tired all the time. I went to the vet who found atrial fibrilation in my heart, and gave me some medicine to control it. So I started getting better. But then my tummy started to hurt and all the food they gave me smelled yucky, so I chose not to eat anything except roasted chicken. Mom & dad were a bit worried but thought as long as I was eating and keeping the food all was well.

The last few days I've been nauseous and I've thrown up several times. I can't help it, all the food and water taste yucky and my belly starts to grumble and I throw up. Except last night I wanted to but I couldn't, I just retched a few times and nothing came out.

Now mom & dad are worried and are taking me to the vet (which I hate), but they're hoping they'll find what's wrong with my tummy and fix it, because I can last a while with the heart problem but if I don't eat I'll starve.

Hopefully they will, because I love to eat but with my tummy hurting I really can't. I know they wish the best for me but I wish I didn't have to go to the vet!

I'll tell you how it goes! see ya soon ;)

 
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