I am all boy!

You know the type. A human pretty boy grooms himself meticulously, dresses well and gets all the chicks. This is not the case when one has the disposition of being a pretty boy Chihuahua. At the risk of sounding self-important, I have to admit, I am pleasing to the eye. I am tan and furry with just a tad of curl that is all natural. My highlights are a gift from God and not Aveda. I DO NOT ask to be sprayed by a groomers spray, containing a distinct feminine scent. Is it my fault that my teeth will never need to be touched by an orthodontist? Or that my eyes make men and women, alike, swoon?

Beauty is a curse.

So if any of you reading this see me in person one day, do not broadly smile and ask, "OHHHH AHHHHH what is HER name?" I may appear female to posers who bill themselves dog enthusiasts. However, I am all male and feel no need to prove myself to any of you, which is why I continue to squat when I pee.

Furthermore, when Mom corrects you on my sex, do not still use the pronoun "she". My male parts will never fall off no matter how many times you misclassify me. By the way, I cross my arms when I sleep simply because it is more comfortable and not because of any feminine tendencies.

Enjoy my beauty if you desire. Just do not insist to call me a pretty girl just because in your mind's eye, I appear as such. I am a mans man, and it is time mankind recognizes this.

Xoxo
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