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Ah bee watches so many movies

June 18th 2016 4:34 am
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Ah bee went to watch Finding Dory and didn't bring me. I hate her. I hope her movie sucks tonight.

Ah ma wants to make carrot cake tomorrow. We're all so frightened.

 

Brr

June 17th 2016 9:36 am
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It was a wet wet day. The rain just kept coming down for hours. We decided to stop waiting and just go for my walk. We weren't the only ones who thought so; Dolly was down too. Except she didn't have a ride like me. She could only walk under our block but I got driven to block 10 and back. Still it was so cold and wet I couldn't stop shivering even though I got a nice hot bath. And they had to break out the hair dryer even though my hair's very short.

I need a hot milo.

 

QE

June 16th 2016 4:37 am
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My ears are not so angry red anymore. They're still red, but not worse. We'll see.

I read in the papers that nowadays, to secure a loan at a 30% interest rate requires an identity card and nude photos of oneself. I'm going to write to Aunty Yellen and tell her she's gotta ease hard and fast, coz credit can't be so hard to get, or her economy is going to crash.

It's all so precarious.

 

Tit for tat

June 15th 2016 5:35 am
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Yesterday Fomfomfom swabbed my ears and brought the buds to the cat vet woman for her to run a test. There's more bacteria now than last week. Nobody has any ideas anymore.

So this morning Fomfomfom decided she wants to clean my ears with apple cider vinegar. Except she didn't dilute it and my ears turned a very angry red. A quick search online told us what we already know - that Fomfomfom is an idiot.

At least she's sorry about it and she says I can spray apple cider vinegar into her eyes if I like.

I'll save it for another time.

 

Food

June 14th 2016 4:16 am
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I'm so starved for flavours recently that I've taken to eating pears. They go crunch crunch crunch and make everyone smile. And no one told ah ma but fomfomfom bought a real rotten pear with mould yesterday. She destroyed the evidence.

Today ah ma bought cockles again since the batch last week was such a hit with her brood. There was a real big cockle that's as big as my face and no one wanted it coz it looked like it needed a plate, a steak knife and a fork.

Then cha was a hero and the cockle wasn't that big after all.

 

All together again

June 13th 2016 9:16 am
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Cha came home last night and I was the one woman welcome wagon. Fomfomfom and Ah bee quickly relinquished Cha's room (and me) and fled. They said they needed to catch up on their sleep. I reckoned that means Cha doesn't need to sleep so I woke her up at 2am and 4am to watch the rain come down with me.

It was lovely.

 

Of course

June 12th 2016 4:45 am
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I watched tv the other day with fomfomfom and she learnt that doggies all face North when they poop. Unless there are disturbances in the electro-magnetic whatever, like solar flares.

Then ah bee and her boyfriend sauntered back in that uninspired and unaspiring way of theirs and they couldn't believe the tv either.

What can I say. Duh.

 

The d and the m

June 11th 2016 3:05 am
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So I hit my noggin yesterday and I told ah bee she needs to wrap my head with gauze. They said I put the dra and the ma in drama mama.

So anyway, bandaging my head is going to be a little troublesome coz I'll need to unwrap it and then wrap it back every time I bathe. So fomfomfom said they should just make a skullcap out of gauze and I can put it on easily. Brilliant.

 

Today I get vitamin E

June 10th 2016 3:59 am
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Today after my morning walk fomfomfom sprayed my underside with Apple cider vinegar and she wanted to pat it into my skin and I thought she was going to carry me off my perch so I leapt and we fumbled and I went headfirst into the sink stand from a height. Fomfomfom almost died on the spot and ah bee was heartbroken when she heard. Then they watched me to see if I was concussed or if I would vomit or go into a coma. Then I was fine and complacency set in real quick.

Fomfomfom sprayed vinegar on me again in the evening.

 

Shameless

June 9th 2016 4:43 am
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We met coffee's mummy coming home today. She had a clear plastic bag with 2 paper boxes in it. Fomfomfom and ah bee stared at the boxes and the poor woman had no choice but to offer them the food in the boxes. So the two shameless things scored a char siew pastry and a pineapple custard bun.

I got nothing.

 
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