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July 4th 2015 4:42 am
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We saw a programme last night about Chantek. He's an orangutan and he knows sign language. He was raised like a child and he went to drive-thrus and ice cream parlors for burgers and ice cream. He also did chores around the house for steel washers which he could use to buy snacks. He had a happy life for 8 years and then suddenly he was put in captivity in a small cage for 11 years. He signed "hurt" when they asked him he's okay. And when they asked where, he signed "feelings".

The world did Chantek wrong.

He's in a zoo now and it's much better. When he first got there, he dismantled the hammocks for the steel washers because he wanted to buy soda. He's also asking for burgers and ice cream.

He's as precious as I am.


Coffee filter

July 3rd 2015 5:37 am
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Ah bee found a dead centipede in the house today. It looked quite dangerous. Eeyuck.

Fomfomfom's coffee filter developed a hole and ain't a filter anymore. Ah bee nicely offered her a rainbow colored sock, but only after I've chosen one. Coz I get first dibs.

A pair of socks is 2 socks u know.


Came down from the trees but

July 2nd 2015 8:37 am
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Cha has a pimple on her back and she asked ah bee to help squeeze it. They were taking such a long time so I evicted them from my room; it's past my bedtime and I wanted to sleep. So they took it outside but still I could hear them. Ah bee was so excited about getting every bit of it and she was oohooh-ahahing about how much gunk there was. They looked like monkeys picking fleas from each other's bodies.

And you know what's going to happen right. It's going to get infected and I shall be laughing at them.


Ear infection

July 1st 2015 4:14 am
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I didn't want to let them carry me this morning so they did the Sun Tzu military tactics. They shut me in my room then rang the doorbell and called out "Postman!" for good measure. It was real dirty pool. Then they drove me to the vet's.

They explained there's nothing too low-down when it came to war. Ah bee patronizingly said I didn't fare too badly myself when I smelt a rat in the first place.

Despicable creatures.


Leap second

June 30th 2015 8:37 am
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I hear there's going to be a leap second tomorrow. I see people talking about it on different channels on TV. Most of it is really quite nonsense if you ask me. Like the 1-second videos that you can watch online as a way to spend your leap second.

I'll be spending my extra second sleeping thank you very much.


Lips and faces

June 29th 2015 7:37 am
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i just got a haircut and my hair is very short and they love it so much I dunno why. Someone's face or lips are always stuck to my head, they're getting to be such a nuisance. They say I look so cute, feel so warm and smell so good. They're so creepy. Then they say maybe I should keep hair this short all the time.

Yuck. No thanks.


Wo mei you chin

June 28th 2015 4:15 am
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We were watching nat geo just now and there was a programme about elephants. It said elephants are the only mammals other than humans to have chins. We stared stupidly at one another when we heard that. I know I don't have one because my mamas made up a song about my name, eyes, colour and chin (lack thereof) when I was a baby. But how about monkeys? Don't they look exactly like humans?

Well, apparently not. We wikied it. What a weird and wonderful world.


I'm so cute

June 27th 2015 7:45 am
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I was in the lift with ah bee and fomfomfom when the lift stopped and this woman got in with her head down. I'd never seen her before so I stared at her and she looked up coz no doubt she felt the force of my stare and she gasped and exclaimed in a hushed whisper "My god! So sweet!"



Nightmare at the museum

June 26th 2015 8:05 am
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Ah bee went to the natural history museum today and she came back telling us it's so scary. She said the taxidermised animals are just too creepy for words and she expected them to come alive at any moment.

Im just glad she didnt get any weird ideas about stuffing me after my demise.


Squeeze squeeze

June 25th 2015 8:09 am
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Everyday fomfomfom would carry me and squeeze squeeze, and I would say halps halps. This morning she carried me and squeezed squeezed and then I vomited. Cha berated her but she joyfully said she would do it again in a heartbeat.

Call the police.

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