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I'm no fat cat

March 31st 2008 9:49 am
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Merrilyn called me fat and said I look like a cat. I will have to tell Ah ma to let her go. Before that, I will get a haircut so she knows that I am not fat. And I certainly do not look like a cat.

But then again, I do like looking at her flowers a lot. We’ve never had flowers because my Ah ma has a purple thumb. It’s so much prettier now that Merrilyn has taken over the garden. Alright, she can stay but I don’t want to hear her call me a fat cat anymore.


Too good to be true

March 30th 2008 9:32 am
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Today I went to the gardens and I saw a maomao. I didn’t see the maomao at first and for a long time, I was wondering why Ah bee and Fomfomfom kept screaming, “PINGPING, MAOMAO!!” And I didn’t see the maomao until Fomfomfom flung a little twig to where she was, about 3m away. That maomao, she has got no respect for me. She didn’t even get up from her resting position and I spied her eyes closing at one point in time while I was barking at her. She was falling asleep. What has the world come to? C’est terrible I tell you. I’ll have all of you know that I descended from wolves. I’m a fearsome predator. Woof!

We had a surprise visitor tonight. Weizhi jiejie came over and she rubbed my belly and let me lick her. Her face was all wet after I was done. *giggles* To think she used to be scared of me. I still remember when she jumped on the sofa to get away from me. And the time when she used a pillow to shield herself from me. Ahhh, that wasn’t too long ago. *giggles* She should come over more often; it gets a little boring at night here.

And I got chicken wings for supper. Burp!



March 29th 2008 10:42 am
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I had an 18 hour day. It started normal enough but I knew it wasn’t just any Saturday; it was Electric Grill Night. I love EGNs- 5 gals come over to play with me. We haven’t had one in close to a year because one of them gals went to London for a while. And it was EGN tonight because another one of them is going to Australia and another to Africa. The latter is the same one whom I swindled a soft toy out of. That soft toy was given to her by the boyfriend of another one of them 5 gals. I’ve named it Milo the Dino. Coz it’s a brown dinosaur. *giggles* And the last gal makes Cha and Fomfomfom want to take their money out of the banks. *giggles* Those gals are so silly but they are my favouritest gals in the world. I spent my entire night outside with them even though it was all smoky and oily. And I was so sad they didn’t stay over. I hope they come visit again soon.

In other news, we met a fella in the gardens today who gave us a flyer. Fomfomfom almost spat on it. Supreme Master Ching Hai my ass, she says. So gullible. So shameless. Pui.


TGIF because it means it will be Saturday tomorrow

March 28th 2008 10:51 am
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My Ah gong is a little senile I think. He doesn’t think. Just now he forgot to pull the plastic board across after he came in from the garden and so I happily went out to the garden by myself. I was busy welcoming passers-by when Ah bee came home. She waved to me, thinking that I was under supervision. I barked at her and that was when Fomfomfom thought I sounded like I was outside instead of in the living room where she thought I was. So I had to come in. But it was alright coz we had a visitor. Her name is Cheryl. I don’t know who she is or why she’s here but they didn’t let me go lick her. Bummer.

I can’t wait for tomorrow!


Fomfomfom can go join the circus

March 27th 2008 10:41 am
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I was a little bored just now so Ah bee told Fomfomfom to do something to keep me entertained. She started juggling. That was pretty good. I should get her a unicycle. That would be fun.

After the juggling, she brought her hands to her mouth and there was this strange noise that came from her palms. I think she kept a little bird in her hands and she squeezed the poor thing to make it sing. Otherwise there is no way those sounds would come from her palms. It’s the poor little bird. That must be it. Fomfomfom is a cruel woman. So I barked at her to let the bird go. I don’t know how she does it but she manages to hide the poor baby everytime I look in her hands. Someone stop her!



March 26th 2008 10:30 am
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We had muffins today. Fomfomfom got them from that famous bakery at Chun Tin Road. They don’t really look like muffins to me; in fact they look more like cupcakes. But they were sold as muffins so muffins they are. We had chocolate, pandan, banana and walnut muffins. I had a walnut one. It was quite wonderful. And inadequate. You can’t just have one of those things. Five is more like it. I must remind Fomfomfom to buy more of them muffins. Burp!

We had a visitor tonight. He’s my Ah ma’s nephew so that makes him my uncle. He came over at 10plus and didn’t leave till after midnight. I was so tired coz it was past my bedtime. But I can’t possibly leave them and go to bed; I’m a good hostess. So I chopchop ate, peed and drank water after he left. Then I collapsed onto my mattress.

Good night world.


Her Tutu Highness

March 25th 2008 9:44 am
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I thought today would be a good day. After all, I got to go to the gardens at 9.30am. That rarely happens and I was hoping it meant I could go a second time in the evening. It was downhill from then on.

First I threw up my lunch. And I didn’t feel like eating anything else so I went empty-stomach. Then I thought we were going to the gardens a second time but somehow we ended up at the vet’s. The vet woman, she gave me an injection, fed me a deworming pill, checked my ears and squeezed my backside. I don’t like her. So I pooped in her hands. Hrmph. Half an hour later, I threw up coz I was too hungry. Fomfomfom immediately called the vet woman who said we will have to deworm again next month when I go in to get my backside squeezed. Bleah. And I had to take a bath.



A half eaten kibble

March 24th 2008 8:50 am
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MJ resumed today. The MJ girl who went to Japan came back and taught Ah bee a lesson on how to go to the hot springs without exposing yourself to the whole world. I don’t understand why everyone is so self-conscious. We must all be comfortable in our own skins. Just look at me. I don’t need no clothes.

It started raining halfway into our walk so Cha, Ah bee and I, we ducked into a pavilion. We spent about 15 minutes in there and killed two mozzies. I had to take a shower after that but I guess it could have been worse- I bet none of my friends got to go to the gardens today. Maybe Magic and Diva with their Outward Hounds but no one else.


Farting under the covers

March 23rd 2008 9:13 am
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We found Ah bee’s coffee mug. Ah gong appropriated it. I don’t know why he would be interested in a decoloured plastic mug full of coffee stains but he can keep it. Ah bee doesn’t want it back anymore. She wants to warn everyone to stay away from her milk cup though. She would be really angry if that one is gone too.

I had the runs today coz I ate too much deu dor last night. Ah bee was cleaning my backside with a piece of tissue and I wanted her to carry me when she was done. So she folded the piece of tissue and put it into her pocket before picking me up. There isn’t a bin around, she says. Then we heard very loud giggles. So we turned around and saw three kids laughing. One of them said, “She put it in her pocket!” Ah bee kept telling Fomfomfom that there wasn’t a bin around and that she folded the piece of tissue already. So defensive. Tsk.

Cha was trying to teach me how to play fetch just now. So silly. I already know how to play it. I just don’t feel like fetching most of the time. But I was in a good mood just now and so I fetched about 5 times for her. That made her really happy. Doesn’t take much.


Sexy is how sexy

March 22nd 2008 10:07 am
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We felt really really really smug today coz it started POURING after we came back from my walk. *beams*

We’ve got very unhappy people in the house today. Cha and Ah ma quarreled for an hour in the morning. Then Ah gong and Ah ma got mad at Fomfomfom coz of a phonecall from tai ma. Then Fomfomfom got really mad at Ah ma and Ah gong. She refused to eat her dinner and instead had a bag of Twisties and two tomatoes for dinner. Yes, very very unhappy people. I hope they will snap out of it soon. It’s interfering with my belly rubs and playtime.

In other news, Ah bee would like to offer five dollars to anyone who can find her coffee mug. It’s a grey plastic mug which she has been using for her kopi o for the past decade. She’s devastated that it’s gone missing and she has been finding her coffee utterly tasteless these days.

Fomfomfom wants everyone to know that she stepped on a mosquito today. And killed it. She’s good.

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