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Wah sai!

January 30th 2008 9:03 am
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Last night she didn't get to sleep at all, no, no
She lay awake and watched until the morning light
Washed away the darkness of the long night

Oh and last night she got to thinking maybe she, she, she
Should just get up and get that pesky mosquito
She heard the mozzie buzzing, she went, “Oh dammit.”
And last night she didn't get to sleep at all

She know it's not her fault, she did her best
God knows my xiao mama could use a rest
But more and more she finds the mozzie buggin’ her
Is somehow too hard to hunt down

Oh last night she didn't get to sleep at all, no, no
Looking for the mozzie was just a waste of time
She couldn't close her eyes 'cause it bit her eyelids
And last night, she didn't get to sleep, didn't get to sleep
No she didn't get to sleep at all

But more and more she finds the mozzie buggin’ her
Is somehow too hard to hunt down

Oh-oh last night she didn't get to sleep at all, no, no
Looking for the mozzie was just a waste of time
She couldn't close her eyes 'cause it bit her eyelids
And last night, she didn't get to sleep, didn't get to sleep
No she didn't get to sleep at all

No, no, no
No, no, no, oh
Last night she didn't get to sleep at all, no, no
Last night she didn't get to sleep at all, oh, oh-oh
Last night she didn't get to sleep at all, no, no.


I don't want bao bao

January 29th 2008 8:28 am
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Ah ma lost money today so I didn’t manage to get my $10. Ah ma is a very strange woman. She loses money at mahjong, loses money on stocks, loses money at roulette, and puts money in my shoebox without batting an eyelid but refuses to pay for essentials. *throws paws up in exasperation*

I wanted to jump on Cha’s bed just now but she was saying nono to me. Then Fomfomfom said, “Bao bao!” and before Cha knew it, I was on her bed. Nothing makes me jump faster than bao bao. That’s coz I refuse to let them carry me. I usually end up on the bathroom counter when they carry me. No way. So tonight, like last night, and the night before, and the night before and the night.. oh you get the drift, I will sleep on Cha’s bed.

Coz I am Queen Ping.


D for Deu Dor

January 28th 2008 8:17 am
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Just now Ah ma asked me to give her a massage. I told her I don’t know how. And then I asked her for a belly rub. Of course she complied. While rubbing my stummy, she told Fomfomfom that I don’t know how to do anything. I told her that I am the Chief of Security of this house. I stand outside and bark at passers-by who come too close. So she told me to go do my job. I told her I only do that in the mornings and evenings. At night, I need to sleep in an aircon room. With my very own sleeping attendant. I cannot be out there exposed to the elements. Ah ma must have been delirious when she made the suggestion.


D for dog

January 27th 2008 9:56 am
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Everyone is very puzzled why I refuse to sleep in my bed anymore. I’d only sleep on sofas, and on their beds. Duh. Obviously those things are softer right? They are also very concerned why I have been acting a little strange lately. This I admit. I have been feeling a little emo these days. It’s the in thing to feel. Emo. I might keep my fringe long so that it covers half my face. Emo.

Anyway, just now at dinnertime, Fomfomfom went into the kitchen and she opened this pot on the stove. Immediately I knew what was in that pot- pig stummy soup. Yum. I love pig stummy. It’s soft and it’s tender. So I followed Fomfomfom around and carebear stared her until all the pig stummy in her bowl ended up in my stummy. Yummy. I did the same to Cha. They reckon I must have eaten half the pig stummy in that pot. Delicious!


Hello gorgeous...

January 26th 2008 9:09 am
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It was raining when we got there and so Cha, Ah bee and I, we sat in the car to wait it out. And it was scorching the rest of the walk. When we finished, it looked like it was going to start raining again. !@#$% weather. I refuse to talk about this anymore. We just can’t win.

But something funny happened. We walked past this family (I think they’re from Taiwan coz of their accent) and they were looking at this sign that says “Please Do Not Feed The Pigeons.” The little boy was trying to read the sign and he said, “Please do not feed the…” And so he turned to his mother who looked at the sign and said, “Please do not feed the…. pen-queens.” Then two seconds later, she corrected herself. I didn’t laugh because they’re already better than me; I can’t even read.

Remember who I said Ah be is a wannabe? I take it back. She’s a want-to-be. Fomfomfom says I’m Queen Ping so we should only speak Queen’s English around here.

Just now Fomfomfom was trying to feed me my dinner when I took one kibble and jumped up the sofa to sit between Ah gong and Ah ma. There wasn’t enough space for the three of us so Ah ma had to vacate the seat for me. And Fomfomfom fed me whilst I was seated on the sofa. For the rest of the night, I was on that sofa. Atop a cushion. A yellow one, no less. It was the only colour befitting of my royal status. Ah ma says she will spank me coz I am so lazy. And coz I was sitting on her cushion. I know she won’t. Coz Ah ma loves me. A lot a lot.

It’s going to be CNY soon so we are going to help Ah ma prepare the ang pows. I told Cha that I will do my own. I don’t want the normal ang pow envelope; I want my own. I told Ah bee to go buy me one of those business envelopes. *giggles*


Really? Really Ah Jek?

January 25th 2008 9:06 am
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Today we went to the gardens at noon. This is the earliest ever. It looked like it might rain so we decided to go early. Also, Fomfomfom was very concerned that I haven’t peed in more than 12 hours. So we had to go. The weather was quite alright. We covered only half of our usual distance coz I refused to move. I was busy looking around. I can’t believe there are people who go to the gardens at noon. Mad mad people.

And for the 12 hours after we got back from the gardens, I didn’t pee. Fomfomfom was so mad she refused to talk to me. And she didn’t want to bring me down to look at the moon. I was devastated. Everyone just kept shhhhhhing at me but I didn’t feel like going. No one gave me any lovin’. Then Ah bee brought me down and then Fomfomfom came too. She kissed me so we made up. Then we looked at the moon together. It’s not full. The rabbit took a bite outta the moon. Naughty naughty rabbit. Spank!

I thought I heard a little cheer when I finally gave them what they wanted at midnight.


Shock, tears and apologies

January 24th 2008 8:37 am
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I got a haircut today. Just as well. I know what I said about keeping my hair long but my moustache was getting a little stiff and I was looking a little unkempt. It would be different if they tied my hair up nicely with ribbons but they didn’t. So I had to go for a trim instead. Okay fine, it’s not a trim; it’s a puppy cut. Coz I puppy.

But I got to keep a little bit of my moustache. It makes me cuter, if you must know. Ke ai xing. That little box will come in very handy when Chinese New Year comes round in a couple of weeks. Will be useful when I ask for ang pows.

They bought me a new harness today. It’s the same as the old one except that this one is yellow and black, instead of blue. The next one, I want a red one. Coz I girl girl.

After my hair cut we went straight to the gardens and I felt much happier. So I was very co-operative when I had to take a bath after that. It was nice sitting in the basin of warm water. I don’t know why but I always feel itchy after a haircut. I guess it’s the shaver they use. Perhaps it’s not well sterilized. So I actually enjoyed my bath today. That almost never happens.


I think Britney's next

January 23rd 2008 8:53 am
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We went to the gardens early today coz it was overcast. Barely 2 minutes into the walk, it started raining. So we went back to the car. We contemplated going home but we thought that perhaps, perhaps the rain might just stop. The weather, it’s like the stock market- unpredictable. Lucky for us, the rain stopped and so we went on with our walk. Half the time, the weather was wonderful. It was real breezy and everything just looked so green. And then it started raining again. Pouring, actually. So we got drenched. And I had to take a bath when I got back. Bummer.

Did you know that Heath Ledger expired today? Positively shocking. I am rather sad coz Brokeback is probably not going to have a sequel. One's dead in the show, one's dead outside the show. Is no more.


Cake no more

January 22nd 2008 8:32 am
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We saw a white maomao in the gardens today. I wasn’t the one who spotted her first; Ah bee did. Then they tried to point the maomao out to me but they didn’t succeed. So we moved to a nearer spot and still I couldn’t see what they were trying to get me to see. The maomao, apparently, grew tired of watching me trying to see her, got up and walked away. That was when I started barking at her. I was so fierce I am sure I struck fear in her heart. That’s why she jumped up the tree where I couldn’t get her. They kept laughing at me. Cha said that I left my brain at home on my bed; that’s why I couldn’t see the maomao. I told her that the maomao was extremely well camouflaged against the trees and grass. She was!

I think Merrilyn is really cute. She has taken over the garden and is in the midst of growing bitter gourd. Soon, we’ll have bitter gourd from our garden for dinner. How wonderful is that?


Shui! Shui!

January 21st 2008 8:33 am
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I didn’t count on spending an hour at the vet today. Fomfomfom and Ah bee brought me to the vet to get my backside squeezed but we didn't manage to get an appointment. So we had to walk in. Dog after dog after dog after dog after dog after hamster after dog after dog after rabbit got to see the vet before I did. And Eunice said we only had to wait 15 minutes. My foot.

Anyway, it was an interesting visit to the vet. We saw this black and white dog except that it isn’t cute like me. It’s huge. Lemme put it in perspective- his legs are longer than the length of my body. But he was not aggressive or anything. In fact he was sleeping in the clinic while waiting for his turn. I think he got bitten by the Tse Tse Fly too. And we met Dakota. She’s this Jack Russell who goes to the gardens too. Usually, there’s another Jack Russell but today she was alone with her owner. And her owner, according to Ah bee, looks like Gagameow. *giggles* Also, we noticed that today is Shih Tzu Day at the vet’s. There were at least 5 Shih Tzus there today. There was one who was particularly eye-catching. Her owner shaved her legs and the side of her body. The rest of it was left long. So the hair off her back and on her head was long. For a moment I thought she was an ostrich.

And when we finally got to see the vet woman, she was alarmed at how much backside juice I’ve accumulated. It’s not my fault; it’s only been 3 weeks since my last extraction. It’s that new vet man who did the previous extraction; he didn’t do a thorough job. Coz my anal sacs were so full, the vet woman had to squeeze for quite a while. And while she was squeezing my backside, I had to go. So I pooped in her palm. Twice. But that vet woman is really nice- she only charged us for the extraction even though she checked my ears and skin too. The newbie charged us 4 times of what she did. And he didn’t even do a good job. Pui. And Ah bee is really happy that my ears are good after her self diagnosis and medication. She says she can call herself Dr Bee now. Certified by the vet woman. Dr Bee my foot. She’s just a wannabe.

Just now at the gardens, Fomfomfom had to run to the supermarket to buy me a bottle of water coz she forgot my bottle. So Ah bee and I, we waited for her at Uncle Kait’s bench. It was a really enjoyable wait. For one I was tired so I got to rest. I also get to look at everyone who walked by. And everyone who came by smiled at us. Even the owner of the 2 hounds who walked meekly by while I barked ferociously at them. Fomfomfom was back in a jiffy; she ran there and back coz she was so embarrassed she forgot my bottle. After that we ran into Magic, Diva, Melmel and Chipchip. Sister Yakity Yak knew that I was scared of Magic and Diva so she made them sit down. She had to sit on Magic to keep him down. Then she said, “You let Pingping come to you!” So all 4 of them, they sat down and waited for me to go to them. It was really fun. I really felt like a queen. So I went to Melmel first. Then Chipchip. But I am still scared of Magic so I didn’t go to him. I wasn’t too keen on going to Diva too coz she’s big and black like Magic is, just less scary. After a while, Fomfomfom thought it was ridiculous how I was holding everyone up. We left so everyone could continue with their walks.

Then we saw Uncle Kait. And Kait! Kait is my boyfriend. I like him a lot coz he’s not big like Magic. We always sniff each other’s backsides when we meet. And then he will go and mark territory. Coz he is a boy. Boys do that. Today, a black female dog came up to one of the trees he had just marked and he barked at her. He was so brave. Protecting what’s his. And he scared her off. Imagine that. My hero.

Just a little more. Ah ma won $56 at mahjong today. I told her I want $6 to buy tidbits. Coz my last packet of tidbits turned out to be extremely dry and we are not sure if it has expired. Shady. So I didn’t get no tidbits today. Cha says that’s good coz I eat too much tidbits. She says I will have to be weaned off them. But I don’t want to. So I asked Ah ma for $6. I will get my own. Ah ma, bless her generous heart, gave me $10.

I love my Ah ma.

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