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Singapore Singapore Singapore!

August 15th 2008 8:54 am
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This morning we met a woman who said her daughter loves petting dogs, but they didn't have one at home. So she told her daughter to drape a rug over her little brother, pet him and feed him tidbits. The daughter protested it's not the same. I agree. But the woman gets points for trying.

In the afternoon I was trying to get them to bring me for my afternoon walk but they were all glued to the tv. Like GLUED. For 4 hours! It turns out my mamas were all watching the women's table tennis olympic game, and they were groaning and throwing their arms up and cheering and doing ESP and making pacts with the tv. And they all boo-ed ah ma loudly when ah ma emerged from her room and announced Chen Shui Bian is resigning from his political party, like it is something important.

Finally, we won and it's a real big deal for singapore, coz it's the 1st time in 48 years we're getting an olympic medal and it's at least a silver, no less. My mamas were real happy and I was real happy coz I finally got to go for my walk.

And since we'd won, fomfomfom has to honour her pact with the tv. She will have to go to the airport to receive the winning player Feng Tianwei and throw her panties with her phone number at her. Whee.


When the wind blows

August 14th 2008 8:37 am
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Oh gosh I think i'm so smart. I hear a "ping" and I know to start barking immediately. Coz a person would be walking out of the lift.

When I hear a "ping!" I know to surface from whatever nook or cranny I'm hiding in. It means cha is looking for me.

And when the wind blows, I sniff at the wind and I can predict the future. At least that's what I tell fomfomfom when she asks me what's in the wind. She seems duly impressed.


Heightened insensitivity

August 13th 2008 8:21 am
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Fomfomfom and cha keep admiring how my hair has grown since the last haircut. Even ah ma stopped in her tracks to admire me. Oh, look how round her face is, how pretty she is!

I got upset coz I was starving and I have lost weight under that kibble-only diet, and my face is much thinner under all that hair. To call my face round is to add salt to my hungry wound.

They make me so angry.


The elements

August 12th 2008 7:44 am
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I was exposed to the elements. The clouds were swirling, the rain was lashing, the wind was howling. It was cold and wet, fomfomfom was almost blown away and my ears were flapping but I endured bravely on. I felt alive, invigorated, I almost howled with the wind.

Besides, I had to empty my bladder.


The Xiaoping Olympics

August 11th 2008 8:29 am
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This olympic spirit is in the air. I feel so competitive. I came up with a brand new sport, which, hopefully, will become an olympic sport one day. I call it Throwing.

I'm being economical with the name. That way it sounds rather sporty and olympian. It involves the stomach muscles.

That spasms so as to produce involuntary regurgitation of previously voluntarily swallowed food.

I did the Throw six times this morning after having breakfast lying down.

And the gold medal goes to....*drumroll*.....Xiaoping! *bow*


The wondrous event

August 10th 2008 8:43 am
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Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to Xiaoping, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

I am 4 years and 8 months old today. I got a Jerry the mouse cake, but not much else. No present, not much company, and certainly no delicious food. I spent hours asking for food but nothing came of that. I didn't even get to eat MY cake. I only had ah ma and the bland fomfomfom for company.

In the end, I got a few slices of cucumber, which don't taste very festive at all. And they were all watching the olympics, so I went to sleep alone in my room first.

It doesn't sound celebratory enough but I'm happy. Because I prefer to be a happy girl.


Act 2

August 9th 2008 8:53 am
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Happy 43rd birthday Singapore! I watched the national day parade on tv and it wasn't particularly interesting so we switched to watching the olympics. But we switched back to watch the grand sing-along session and I thought the songs were so nice. But I didn't go to school so no one taught me how to sing our national songs. It was a pity. I'll ask ah bee to teach me how to sing the songs so I can sing along loudly next year and every year after that. Oh, and my little flag is missing from all that moving house so I couldn't wave it in front of the tv.

It was the olympics yesterday and singapore's birthday today. All that celebration will culminate in something even better tomorrow. Stay tuned.


A special day

August 8th 2008 7:24 am
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I must write fast coz I'm so tired. Today is 08-08-08, it is special and certainly was for me in more than one way.

First thing in the morning, I went for my walk as usual when we passed by the townhouses and suddenly fomfomfom saw 2 big brown dogs bounding towards us. Alarmed, she quickly picked me up but no sooner had she done that than the dogs were upon her. They stood up on their hind legs and put dirty stinky paw prints all over fomfomfom's t-shirt. We still haven't found out if those were made of soil or poo. They tried to get at me and fomfomfom tried to hold me high but I got frightened and struggled and fomfomfom dropped me coz the 2 dogs were still pawing away at her. I fell from a great height but luckily the 2 dogs didn't bite me. Perhaps they only wanted to play. Their maid came running out and chased them away and me and fomfomfom were still in shock when we went home.

Fomfomfom washed my feet and immediately went down to the management office to complain. She put in a strongly worded letter to the management and we expect an official warning to be given to the offending dogs' owner soon. We were all so angry about it. How irresponsible to allow big dogs of that size to run out and terrorize people.

In the afternoon, we went for a photo shoot. Ah bee had just graduated from university so we had to do a family shoot. They tried to shoot me but I was scared so I trembled and tried to climb on their heads. After a tiring shoot, I finally got the hang of modelling. I was offended when they did another one without me. I was eager to pose. Ah gong said I'm a fast learner. *beam*

At night, of course, it was the olympics' opening ceremony. It was very long and there are many countries I haven't heard of. I fell asleep in front of the tv coz I was tired.



New game

August 7th 2008 7:17 am
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I thought up a new game to play. I sat among my soft toys and asked cha to guess where I am. I thought she won't be able to find me so I can play it for a long time. But cha didn't even look up from her computer and she said, do you think you are a soft toy? Come out!

I was discouraged.


Fann wong goes insane in the gardens

August 6th 2008 7:36 am
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I object strongly to voyeurism. Fomfomfom told me while I was on my afternoon walk today, pooing, she observed me from 12 stories above. I find such behavior inherently objectionable, the stealthy observation, not the pooing. Therefore I told fomfomfom in no uncertain terms such behavior is to be abhorred, and I will look down on her until she changes. She was ashamed.

At night fomfomfom and ah bee were watching a tv show and I suddenly saw my friend the black swan from the botanical gardens! Actually I didn't know which swan, coz there are 5 of them, but one of them is evidently a star now that he's on tv. Now we know which tv show they were filming when we came across them filming in the gardens. We didn't know who it was we saw then coz we didn't approach near enough to see, but we thought it must be a scene of a woman getting stung by hornets coz she was flailing her arms about and screaming. Now in the context of the new tv drama, we conclude the woman is fann wong and she is going insane, not swatting hornets.

After the tv show I fell asleep beside fomfomfom and when I woke up, she told me I was wagging my tail in my sleep and my eyes were doing the rapid eye movement thing and I was twitching. She praised me for being real intense in my sleep and said it was one of the better performances she'd seen. She admired me.

But of course. Don't we all? Afterall, I have a friend who's a tv star now.

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