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Seeing double

February 7th 2010 8:20 am
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Ah bee said she deserves two stars for emptying my anal sacs in record time. Whatever. What's important are the two pieces of bak kwa I got after that. One for each sac.

Bak kwa is too wonderful.

 

Lizard hunter

February 6th 2010 8:56 am
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I went hunting for lizards with Ah bee today and I very nearly caught one. And it was a huge one too. Ah bee was so proud she told Fomfomfom, Pingping almost caught a lizard today! Fomfomfom replied, she ALWAYS almost catches them.

Ahem, excuse me. I caught one lizard before okaaaaaaaaaay. Hmph.

But anyway, later they were talking and I overheard someone talking about how there are still headhunters in South America and these people chop off heads of people from other tribes and dump them into chemicals to shrivel them up. AND (you will want to hear this) after they are done with whatever rituals they perform with the decapitated heads, they sell them to tourists who probably think they are cheap manufactured souvenirs.

One day I will present Fomfomfom with a shriveled lizard.

 

Bad weather

February 5th 2010 7:54 am
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It was so humid this afternoon, we were throwing ourselves against the wall. Then it rained and all was well again.

 

Li Chun

February 4th 2010 7:14 am
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Today is li chun. I don't know what it means, but "chun" means spring so it must have something to do with the arrival of spring. One is supposed to wear something red for this day. Ah bee was looking for red underwear last night but I think she had no success. Consequently, it is 11pm and she's still at work. On the other hand, I am wearing my red collar, that's why I had lotsa roast pork for lunch today. Ah ma even gave me all the crackly roast skin.

One must heed tradition.

 

Animal cruelty

February 3rd 2010 8:33 am
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I learnt today the female jack russell I see downstairs all the time has no name. It was so odd I asked her maid 3 times if she really has no name. Everyone just calls her "doggie", we were told.

Oh gosh, I wonder if I should call the SPCA. But I guess her owners treat her well enough, they just neglected to give her a name. I have like 10 names, maybe I can spare her one.

 

When I grow up, I want to be a geomancer

February 2nd 2010 7:39 am
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The hong kong court ruled today that the geomancer does not get his grubby paws on the fortune of that dead sweetie. I don't find her that sweet, but that's irrelevant. It's wonderful how people love geomancy. So do we.

The year of the tiger is fast approaching and we consulted out resident geomancer cha. It turns out cha's element is big wood, fom's is big water, ah bee's is small metal. I wanted to know what mine is, so I may better choose the color of my panties and direction in which I sleep. Who know, I may get as lucky as that hongkong geomancer and land myself a fat sugar daddy and I can call his wife godma too. So what exactly is my element, I queried.

My mamas replied in unison--small dog.

Touche , I guess. *grumble*

 

To see or not to see

February 1st 2010 7:51 am
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I had a honking episode today. Everyone had a fright and I was quickly carried out into the balcony where the fresher air should do me good. I honked for rather a long time, and everyone's heart was in itty-bitty pieces when i finally stopped. Maybe fomfomfom was too smelly, that's why I get these attacks from time to time.

On a happier note, I met chocolate and her babies today. Rachel brought them out for me to admire. The baby hamsters haven't even opened their eyes yet. It may be a good idea yet, to keep those eyes closed. Coz the little bandits masquerading as children around this condo robbed us blind today.

We went home with only a few coins left in our pocket.

 

Not for loan

January 31st 2010 8:08 am
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We met Snowy today and we saw that she was walking funny. So Fomfomfom asked the little girl who was walking her if Snowy was her dog. She said no, she borrowed Snowy. First babies, now dogs! One can really borrow anything these days.

But anyway, we found the owner and Fomfomfom told him Snowy is limping a little. He said, yes she has a loose kneecap. Must be acting up again. A loose kneecap. That's what you get when you are a madcap like Snowy bouncin' all over the place.

Oh yes, I must tell Ah ma not to let anyone borrow me.

 

Poor Ah ma

January 30th 2010 9:58 am
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Ah ma asked Ah bee if Fomfomfom was going out tonight and Ah bee said yes, she's going to attend her friend's wedding dinner. Oh wedding dinner, Ah ma said. And there was this look on her face. It's the same look as when she said "keeping it for reference" when she took one of the menus from the last wedding dinner they went to. She cannot wait to marry all of my mamas off. Not me. There won't be enough people to play with me if that happens. Luckily for me the poor woman looks like she is in for a long wait.

I'd better go comfort her.

 

Atten-shun!

January 29th 2010 8:09 am
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Ah bee's been working so late I'm thinking that can't be legal. Perhaps she should go to the police training school and become a superintendent or something. Then I'll ask her to make me the head of the K-9 unit, my underlings will go searching for drugs or cadavers and I'll supervise. Maybe we'll go on tv together too, me and ah bee, on crimewatch, so telegenic we are.

I'll tell ah bee about our plans when she comes back. She's still slaving at her desk.

 
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