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66 whole months

June 10th 2009 7:45 am
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I am 5 and a half years old today! What a momentous occasion. But ah ma kept stealing my soft toy shiu shiu. It's unbecoming. She had washed shiu shiu and kept trying to put him under the sun. I had to do sleuthing on my birthday. I'd find shiu shiu and keep him beside my volleyball. I would be satisfied, but ah ma would cackle and then hide him again. One would think ah ma is 5 and a half years old.

How childish.

The celebration food consisted of a braised chicken heart, half a gizzard, a bit of liver and exactly one slice of chicken.

Now that's childish and stingy.

Ah bee came back and wanted to sleep, so they told me it's 1130 already, bedtime. But fomfomfom whispered in my ear it's only 1030. But since I was the youngest, I had to comply and I was hustled into my bed unceremoniously.

Childish and stingy and lazy liars. Boo.


There, there

June 9th 2009 8:50 am
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Ah bee told me this morning she dreamt I was bitten by a snake and then she woke up crying. I comforted her and said I wasn't bitten at all. When she was having the nightmare, I was sleeping and holding hands with fomfomfom. We were very happy all night.

Pat, pat.


What I have to endure

June 8th 2009 8:14 am
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Ah ma held a jasmine flower to my nose and I didn't like it at all. I sneezed and walked away. Ah ma didn't respect me and chased after me with that darn flower and I wasn't happy at all. Ah ma likes the smell and I don't, and Ah ma kept laughing at me.

Ah bee came back late and had dinner, so I sat by her feet and raised my head as high as I could and opened my eyes as wide as I could. I often get some food this way. But I was tired after ah ma's harrassment, so after a while, my eyes closed. But I firmly maintained my posture. Ah bee sniggered and I woke up, but I still couldn't keep my eyes open. So I sat there with my head high and eyes closed, since no food seemed to be forthcoming. Ah bee told ah ma to come see me fall asleep while asking for food and ah ma laughed out loud at me again.

It is very hurtful, all these people always laughing at me. But ah ma's good humour gave me some food and it wasn't all a loss after all.


Teenage mutant ninja mushrooms

June 7th 2009 8:31 am
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Yesterday, we found mutated enoki mushrooms at the rental apartment. It had been left in the fridge so long it turned into a monster. The bottom half had wilted and the top half perhaps fed on the rotting bottom and grew big and bloated. Fomfomfom opened the fridge door and out it sprang. They struggled, yes, there was combat. After a nail-biting sequence, fomfomfom won and pushed the mutant mushrooms into the rubbish chute.

Who'd have thunk how dangerous 70 cents can be these days.



June 6th 2009 10:13 am
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We were getting ready to come home, but fomfomfom took forever with the car. It was warm and I was missing ah ma terribly and there fomfomfom was fiddling with her keys and lousy car and I had to reprimand her. I was sitting in the car for 5 minutes and it didn't move an inch. Obviously her driving skills are nothing to write home about.

In the end fomfomfom drove us home in cha's car. I guess I should be grateful she could still make a car move, just not her own.

Then she kept calling me Babby and informed ah bee my name is Babby from now. I think she's afraid I would go get a driving license of my own and upstage her so she's stealthily reminding me I'm still a baby.


They think I'm so cute

June 5th 2009 9:19 am
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Ah ma sold her silver today and made a tidy sum. She immediately withdrew $2000 in cash to distribute among her offspring. Cha already had her hand out, but fomfomfom declined on everyone's behalf coz it's not right they should take ah ma's money when they are almost 30 years old. But she happily accepted $50 for me and put it safely in my shoebox. I'm thinking of what I can buy with that. Whee.

We went to the rental apartment today and I was curious and went behind cha's bed. But I couldn't get out at the other end coz of the table leg blocking it, neither could I turn around coz the space was so narrow, so I stuck my head out beside the table leg and looked to fomfomfom for help. She only laughed and shouted for cha to come in and they both laughed at me before cha helped me reverse my way out. It was humiliating and scary and I needed some lovin' after that.

Wenli came and fomfomfom, like a proud parent, told me to pee for the guest. She said other parents usually ask their kids to perform on the piano or sing a song for guests. Of course I refused. How low class.


Too serious

June 4th 2009 8:46 am
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Fomfomfom and ah bee were complaining about people who complain about the PAP, our lovely government. We owe all we have to the PAP, they said. We are lifelong supporters of the PAP, they declared.

Cha came and enquired what they were getting excited about. They informed her and cha exclaimed, politics! Can we talk about something happier, she begged.

I decided to tell them something funny. An ant stepped on an elephant and the elephant died.

They must have found it funny coz they stopped talking about politics immediately and stood up and left.


Blackout again!!!??!

June 3rd 2009 8:32 am
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Ah ma asked me today why I always like to lick my volleyball Mikasa. She didn't wait for my answer but took Mikasa for a scrubbing. Mikasa is nice and clean now.

So the vet woman said I have arthritis, and I gotta take supplements for my joints. Ah ma frowned at the pills and decided to tackle the problem her way. Collagen, ah ma points out to me, can be found in lots of things. Like pig skin. Which she boiled in soup and gave to me. It was tasteless but it must be full of collagen coz it was sticky. It made my tongue sticky and I licked my nose and whiskers and everywhere was sticky so I wasn't happy.

Next we wil try fish lips from hongkong.


Blackout again

June 2nd 2009 9:05 am
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The lights suddenly went out at 11pm. The torchlights came out and everyone sat waiting for the electricity to come back on except for ah ma, who was sleeping oblivious to the blackout.

Ah bee is on her second day as advocate and solicitor of the supreme court of singapore, member of an honourable profession and officer of the court. But she didn't know how to switch off her blackberry. So she consulted fomfomfom, who is also, though not currently, an advocate and solicitor of the supreme court of singapore, member of an honourable profession and officer of the court, on how to do it. Fomfomfom said, drop it in water.

Then they finally put me to bed. Ah bee said lovingly what a beautiful face I have. It is a face that launched a thousand rockets. Fomfomfom regarded me too, lovingly, and said, it is a face that ate a thousand pig stummys.

My mamas are enamoured of me.


Children's Day

June 1st 2009 8:14 am
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So it is Children's Day today. I was watching a chinese celebration on tv with ah ma and ah bee when a woman talked about how she wishes her kids will have hopes and dreams when they grow up. Hopes and dreams! I have hopes and dreams.

I told ah ma solemnly my hope and dream is to have pig's stummy everyday, like I did today. It is an ah ma's responsibility to make sure my dream comes true, and I await my bright future with bated breath and eager tongue.

We love hopes and dreams.

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