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Animal cruelty

February 3rd 2010 8:33 am
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I learnt today the female jack russell I see downstairs all the time has no name. It was so odd I asked her maid 3 times if she really has no name. Everyone just calls her "doggie", we were told.

Oh gosh, I wonder if I should call the SPCA. But I guess her owners treat her well enough, they just neglected to give her a name. I have like 10 names, maybe I can spare her one.

 

When I grow up, I want to be a geomancer

February 2nd 2010 7:39 am
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The hong kong court ruled today that the geomancer does not get his grubby paws on the fortune of that dead sweetie. I don't find her that sweet, but that's irrelevant. It's wonderful how people love geomancy. So do we.

The year of the tiger is fast approaching and we consulted out resident geomancer cha. It turns out cha's element is big wood, fom's is big water, ah bee's is small metal. I wanted to know what mine is, so I may better choose the color of my panties and direction in which I sleep. Who know, I may get as lucky as that hongkong geomancer and land myself a fat sugar daddy and I can call his wife godma too. So what exactly is my element, I queried.

My mamas replied in unison--small dog.

Touche , I guess. *grumble*

 

To see or not to see

February 1st 2010 7:51 am
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I had a honking episode today. Everyone had a fright and I was quickly carried out into the balcony where the fresher air should do me good. I honked for rather a long time, and everyone's heart was in itty-bitty pieces when i finally stopped. Maybe fomfomfom was too smelly, that's why I get these attacks from time to time.

On a happier note, I met chocolate and her babies today. Rachel brought them out for me to admire. The baby hamsters haven't even opened their eyes yet. It may be a good idea yet, to keep those eyes closed. Coz the little bandits masquerading as children around this condo robbed us blind today.

We went home with only a few coins left in our pocket.

 

Not for loan

January 31st 2010 8:08 am
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We met Snowy today and we saw that she was walking funny. So Fomfomfom asked the little girl who was walking her if Snowy was her dog. She said no, she borrowed Snowy. First babies, now dogs! One can really borrow anything these days.

But anyway, we found the owner and Fomfomfom told him Snowy is limping a little. He said, yes she has a loose kneecap. Must be acting up again. A loose kneecap. That's what you get when you are a madcap like Snowy bouncin' all over the place.

Oh yes, I must tell Ah ma not to let anyone borrow me.

 

Poor Ah ma

January 30th 2010 9:58 am
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Ah ma asked Ah bee if Fomfomfom was going out tonight and Ah bee said yes, she's going to attend her friend's wedding dinner. Oh wedding dinner, Ah ma said. And there was this look on her face. It's the same look as when she said "keeping it for reference" when she took one of the menus from the last wedding dinner they went to. She cannot wait to marry all of my mamas off. Not me. There won't be enough people to play with me if that happens. Luckily for me the poor woman looks like she is in for a long wait.

I'd better go comfort her.

 

Atten-shun!

January 29th 2010 8:09 am
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Ah bee's been working so late I'm thinking that can't be legal. Perhaps she should go to the police training school and become a superintendent or something. Then I'll ask her to make me the head of the K-9 unit, my underlings will go searching for drugs or cadavers and I'll supervise. Maybe we'll go on tv together too, me and ah bee, on crimewatch, so telegenic we are.

I'll tell ah bee about our plans when she comes back. She's still slaving at her desk.

 

Australian toddler

January 28th 2010 8:31 am
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There was this australian-chinese toddler walking with bean bean today. 2 babies, 2 maids, it was a sight to warm the heart. So we joined them and went to the pond to look at fishes and bark at passers-by. Fomfomfom asked the maid how old the girl is. The maid said she didn't know, the baby didn't belong to her, she only borrowed her from another maid. We thought that was hilarious, the things maids loan out these days!

The toddler didn't talk much, but she pointed to the pond and said "fish" to fomfomfom. So fomfomfom pointed to me and said "kang-ga-roo". The toddler nodded gravely and, hoping the damage is permanent, we sat back and I fought with bean bean.

I wonder if we can borrow the toddler tomorrow.

 

My paw

January 27th 2010 8:24 am
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I've been itching all over for weeks. My mamas think it's the new beef joystick they gave me to chew. So cha banned all tidbits, including my favourite kangaroo jerky. I was unhappy but shouting was to no avail. 2 weeks, we struck a deal, i should have stopped itching by then.

At night, they looked at my front paw and gasped at how red it had become. I like licking my front paws, it's a ritual whenever I become bored. My mamas thought it was almost bleeding from my constant licking so they became stern with me and scolded me whenever i started licking again. Ah bee declared my paws shall have to be checked and cleared before I can go for my morning walk tomorrow. Fomfomfom says she's going to put chilli on my paws tomorrow. Cha says she's going to wrap it up with bandage.

Gloom.

 

Pappadam!

January 26th 2010 8:17 am
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That's an indian snack. Fomfomfom gave me a taste coz I told her to. Then she didn't give me more even though i told her to. It's selective obedience, and that's the worst kind. Coz you lull people into believing you, and then you betray them. Next time I'll just wring her neck and I can have the whole container of pappadam. And then I won't give her any.

 

Heartworm medicine

January 25th 2010 7:45 am
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Fomfomfom and cha put heartworm medicine on me today. It's a liquid that goes on my back, and we have to do it every month. I struggled and made a fuss and they said I'm being so naughty about it. I said, what do you 2 know? It hurts. There's a burnin' sensation. Fomfomfom said she only feels a foolin' sensation, coz I'm making a fool of her. I told her she accomplished that on her own and I don't interfere with nature. They called me a wretch.

They are so rude.

 
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