The chinese hamburger and the happy meal

Ah ma brought back from china those little chinese buns that have holes and look like doughnuts. She put in some meat and they made little chinese hamburgers.

Ah bee went to her friend's 21st birthday party today at macdonalds. She had a happy meal coz that's what they serve at children's birthday parties. I didn't go coz I don't have a party dress. I chided ah bee for neglecting to buy me a nice party dress, then I let her go to the party while I slumped at home. I hope she didn't have too much fun. I couldn't even go to the botanical gardens coz it was raining.

At night ah bee the stomach warmed up the leftover chinese hamburger and let me have some meat. It was yummy. Then ah bee the stomach said she must have some alcohol after the hamburgers and cha offered her the medicinal wine in her room. Of which cha then enquired, how did that feel? To which ah bee replied, I feel like a bruised knee. Giggle. I thought that was so smart of ah bee. Giggle.

Then ah bee wanted to claim back her little pink and yellow alarm clock in cha's room. It won't light up, but at least it worked. And bee told cha all of fomfomfom's clocks won't work. Her clock on the wall stopped. Then 2 alarm clocks stopped. Then ah ma gave her the evergreen alarm clock in the dining hall which had been working forever. It went into fom's room for 2 days, then it stopped. It was all very creepy and mysterious. But it was all very obvious to me. It was because fomfomfom has a face that would stop a clock! Giggle.

Botanical gardens.. Not.

We were just about to go to the botanical gardens when Cha's friends showed up uninvited. Mindy I recognise because this is the gazillionth time she's here. But the other one, I have no recollection of her. She smells foreign. Cha says that her name is Serene. I like this Serene- she's fresh meat. So I ignored Mindy and gave my attention to Serene. I love it when we have visiters; I get so bored facing them at home (except Ah ma. I can never get bored with Ah ma because Ah ma loves me and I love Ah ma). But I don't love visiters enough to forgo my afternoon walk at the botanical gardens. Which was exactly what happened today. When they left, it started raining so Cha informed me that the botanical gardens was a no-go.

I immediately went to pee on the newspapers. It was such a waste, all that pee I saved up to mark my territory at the botanical gardens.

Good... Bad...

Today is a day of goods and bads. Good- I went to the botanical gardens in the afternoon. Bad- Fomfomfom kiap-ed my paw accidentally when she tried to close the compartment in the car. Good- In the evening I went out to the garden to bark at passers-by for more than an hour. Bad- Only 2 dogs walked by the whole hour and more. Good- Ah ma came home at night. Bad- There were black faces all around.

But it's okay because Ah ma loves me and I love Ah ma.

The komomo dragon

I woke really late today. That’s because I have been sleeping with Ah bee while Cha is away. And unlike Cha, Ah bee keeps really strange hours. She was up till 3am last night and the lights kept me up. That is why I woke only at 1230pm. I had lunch in bed. That felt good. This is the life. Lunch in bed.

We went to the gardens early today coz Ah bee had to go for class afterwards. It was hot and humid and I was panting within the first 10 minutes of the walk. Anyway, when we were walking around the pond, I saw a giant lizard. It was huge! And it was longer than me. But of course I was taller. I haven’t seen such a huge lizard before. It was so different from the household variety that I am used to at home. Fomfomfom said that when lizards grow so big, they are called komomo dragons. I like them komomo dragons. I squealed in delight when I saw that one. But Ah bee and Fomfomfom refused to let me near. Spoilers.

I think I will ask my Ah gong to buy me a komomo dragon for my birthday.

Corn in my poop

Before I start on today's entry proper, I would like to apologize to my dear readers (yes all 2 of you) for not writing last night. I was so excited when Ah Ma called. I wanted to talk to her on the phone but Ah gong was hogging it. Even Ah bee couldn't get a word in. Ah ma was happily telling Ah gong how much fun she was having over there. Hmph! And to think I miss her so much back home. I was so upset I forgot all about writing my dairy.

Anyway, today we went to the gardens at 3 because it looked like it was going to rain any moment. We saw one swan today. I wonder where the others went. I pooped at the edge of the pond and when Fomfomfom bent down to pick it up, she noticed some mysterious corn enbedded in my poop. It was all very perplexing to her. So she asked Ah bee if I had had corn recently. Ah bee said I only had peas. They couldn't understand where the corn came from. They tried to get me to talk but I told them it was for me to know. And for them to not know. *giggle*

Later, I saw many many birds. And when I see them birds, I have to charge towards them. So I did. Poor Ah bee had to run behind me, navigating the trecherous terrain in her own clumsy manner. According to Fomfomfom, it was quite an ugly sight. Again, that stupid Ah bee and her high CG.

Broncheetees and the lotus root

Fomfomfom was coughing all day long and so I asked her what was wrong with her. She told me that the doctor said she's got a history of broncheetees. So I asked her if broncheetees was edible. She said no so I told her to dump the no-good broncheetees.

The lotus root on the other hand, is something everyone should have in their history. I had some tonight. It was very nice.

QP goes to the gardens

It wasn’t raining when we left the house. But it was raining when we got to the botanical gardens. Fomfomfom told Ah bee that we would just go to a pavilion to wait for the rain to stop. So Ah bee carried me while Fomfomfom held the brolly. We went to 4 pavilions but there were people in all of them. Fomfomfom and Ah bee are not social creatures; they didn’t want to go into an occupied pavilion where they would have to make small talk with whoever is in there. So we carried on walking around. Then the rain stopped for a while so Ah bee let me down. It was so much fun splashing in the puddles. Then it started drizzling again, so fomfomfom had to hold the brolly above me because I am QP. It was nice and balmy. I was really enjoying myself, until Fomfomfom decided that the rain was really coming down. So Ah bee picked me up and we went back home.

And I had to take a shower coz they said my paws were muddy.

Of shit, swans and towels

We went to the gardens at about half past four today. It was scorching. I was panting within the first 10 minutes of my walk. And Ah bee and cha kept saying that they would be down with heat stroke tomorrow. But I didn’t care; we continued trotting along. When we got to the edge of the pond, I saw many pigeons. I charged towards them. Those stupid birds, I think I scared them all. They immediately flew overhead. When they did that, Ah bee promptly covered her head with her free hand. She said that Ah ma told her pigeon droppings are poisonous. I told her not to worry- I scared those stupid birds shitless. There wouldn’t be any falling on her head.

I observed 5 big black swans for about 10 minutes after that. They are terribly big. I haven’t seen such big ducks before. I growled at them and tried to scare them too. I wanted to run to the very edge of the pond. But Ah bee didn’t let me coz Janice told her that she was attacked by one when she was a tumbling tot. So I sat down and watched them. I don’t think I have enough material to start on my thesis so I will have to go back every day still.

I had to take a bath after we came back. That wasn’t enjoyable so I shan’t talk about it.

Then at night, I was in Ah bee’s room when I saw a towel at the corner. I walked towards it and started chewing. Ah bee told me that it’s her towel and that I shouldn’t be chewing on it. Then cha walked in, took one look and informed Ah bee that the towel was actually mine- Ah ma had put it in Ah bee’s room, thinking that it was hers. Then that Ah bee used it. Shame on her! How could she? That towel’s mine and I don’t share. I’ve got a good mind to charge her for using it. But I didn’t coz she was all apologetic and she promptly returned it to me.

I forgive her. I am magnanimous.

A deal is a deal

It started raining at 3pm today. The rain didn’t let up until 7. I didn’t get to go to the botanical gardens. I tried to get Ah bee to redeem my frequent flier miles; I wanted the rain to stop so that I could go study birds by the pond. Ah bee told me that I haven’t chalked up enough points. To get them to stop the rain, I would need many many points. Right now, I don’t even have enough to qualify for complimentary parking. I was so sad when I heard that. I spent the rest of the afternoon moping in Ah ma’s room.

After dinner, Ah ma started asking me where my poopie was. I told her that I had forgotten how to poop again. She told me that she would bring me out to the balcony if I would just give her my poopie for the day. I decided that it wasn’t too bad a deal so I agreed. Ah ma and I spent a glorious time out there, enjoying the breeze and watching the raindrops fall.

The moment we came in, I rushed into fomfomfom’s room to fulfil my side of the bargain. I gave them a lot of poop. Don’t ask me why, but my poop always seem to make all of them ultra happy. Go figure.

Frequent flier

I went to fly at the botanical gardens again today. I’ve been going to fly almost everyday. And using up my 50cents allowance. Yesterday the carpark charge was $0.62. Ah bee told me that I was spending money I didn’t have and that isn’t right. So I started thinking very hard. I want to be able to spend more time at the botanical gardens without spending money I don’t have.

So I told Ah bee to apply for the botanical gardens frequent flier miles for me. I go to the botanical gardens so often I’d be able to chalk up many many points in no time. That way, I would be able to get complimentary parking, free umbrellas, waterbottles and more! Maybe I can even get them not to rain (like it did just now in the afternoon when I went) whenever I am there.

Sometimes I’m so clever I scare myself.