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Of fish and fishes

May 17th 2008 8:28 am
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Fomfomfom frowned and said my breath smells terrible today, like fish tank and salted fish. She said I will have to start brushing my teeth very soon.

Cha sniffed me and pronounced my breath perfectly normal, it smells just like a fish tank. Nothing out of the ordinary, she beamed.

What? Am I supposed to be happy?

 

Less one leg

May 16th 2008 8:19 am
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I went to the gardens today and saw 3 dogs running around without adult supervision. So I avoided them and took another route. But suddenly, one dog bounded out from nowhere and gave me and fomfomfom a fright. Fomfomfom quickly picked me up and shook her fist at the maid in charge of the 3 unleashed dogs. How irresponsible, fomfomfom fumed. Supposed he attacked me?

Anyway, I have seen those 3 dogs before. One of them has only 3 legs. But he seems oblivious to that fact and runs as fast as the other 2. So I am quite happy for him.

Alas I am less happy for the quake victims in china. Today in the newspaper, there was this woman trapped under rubble and rescuers could neither reach her nor pull her out. So they gave her a saw and she amputated her own leg before she was freed and got pulled out.

Such despairing news day after day after day.

 

Cute little chinese girl

May 15th 2008 8:11 am
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Last night fomfomfom and ah ma were channel surfing and they went to channel 8. It was a chinese drama serial, made in singapore! Fomfomfom wanted to watch it so she can giggle but ah ma couldn't stand it and changed the channel. Fomfomfom was disappointed.

Today we went to the gardens and there they were again, filming another drama serial. Fomfomfom was reminded to catch the same show tonight, but alas, she forgot. There is always tomorrow, promises to be always painful to watch, always good for giggles.

Talking about tv, today we were watching the news again, about the china earthquake. There was this girl being interviewed, she must be younger than me, maybe just 3 years old. She donated 1000 rmb to the quake victims, and it was her own money. She told the camera it was her chinese new year ang pow money from her parents, and she hopes they will use it to buy water, food and flu medicine for the victims. Flu medicine! Well.

The price of gold went up today. I am rather happy.

 

Cruel world

May 14th 2008 8:12 am
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I was watching the news with ah ma just now. The earthquake 2 days ago in Sichuan, it is bad. The Prime Minister of China went down and he was speaking to a girl who is slightly older than me. She had lost both her parents in the quake and is now an orphan. The Prime Minister was comforting her and she was crying and crying and crying.

I feel like crying myself.

 

Mutter mutter...

May 13th 2008 8:24 am
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Fomfomfom gave me a gram of gold today. Now that I am invested, I shall have to watch CNBC constantly for the price of gold. When it goes up, I will sell it back to fomfomfom. If it goes up further, I'll take it back from her and sell to her again at the peak. Then I will put the money into my shoebox and ask for another gram of gold from fomfomfom. Investing is such tiring business.

Cha had something to say about my business plan, and I wasn't happy with her. We investors do not tolerate people second-guessing our decisions. So I scolded her and she kept quiet in shame.

So unsatisfied I am with her. Mutter mutter.

 

I am the Queen surveying my land

May 12th 2008 7:50 am
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It is mahjong day today. Auntie Chris came early so I gave her my bottle and asked her to rub my belly. Later I didn't want my belly rubbed anymore so I asked for my bottle back but she won't give it back to me. She insisted it's hers. I complained to ah ma and ah ma got my bottle back for me. Next time I'll have to find something less valuable to give to the mahjong girls, like tissue paper filled with fomfomfom's snot or something.

Then I made some investments. I told fomfomfom I'll give her a dollar and I'll have a share in her investments. I'll take all the profits and she'll be in charge of all the losses. Fomfomfom agreed and we shook hands. We're partners.

It is my habit at night to roam the house and knock on Merrilyn's door. She'll put down all she's doing, open the door and I'll walk around the room and then come out in 5 seconds. Fomfomfom saw it for the first time tonight and gasped that I was so naughty. What does she know, the ignoramus. She always wonders why I come out of the room so fast, does Merrilyn spank me or something. Now she sees that I don't allow Merrilyn to even pat me. I just want to survey the room.

I am the Queen. It's always on my terms.

 

Happy Mother's Day, ah ma!

May 11th 2008 7:24 am
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It is Mother's Day today. I love ah ma! A long time ago, I made a card for ah ma, with my paw print. But this year no one helped me so I had no card for my ah ma this year.

In the gardens today there were lots of people. I think they were having picnics and parties as it is sunday, and I found a piece of chicken on the ground. Fomfomfom and cha were horrified when they saw that I had it in my mouth, and fomfomfom immediately hit it out of my mouth. I thought that was so rude, she could have asked politely. I was about to discard it anyway, I am used to eating only hand-fed-bite-sized food. Only a mongrel knows how to eat a big piece of stray chicken. The unsatisfactory cha and fomfomfom then went on muttering about how the meat could be poisoned. Can't be bothered with them. I am pedigree princess ping.

My rashes got a little itchy today so I tried to scratch using my teeth. Ah ma was so anxious she summoned fomfomfom and ordered her to play with me so I may be distracted from the itch. Cha played with me while ah ma interrogated fomfomfom about what can be done about the itch. Fomfomfom shrugged and went to bathe.

But I still like fomfomfom more than that ah bee, who's still missing. She called back to speak to ah ma coz it is mother's day but I refused to speak to her. I only love ah ma.

 

My birthday

May 10th 2008 8:44 am
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Today is my birthday. I am 4 years and 5 months old today. Once upon a time they promised I would get cake on my birthdays. There was no cake today. Fomfomfom said she was afraid I would be unhappy that I can't eat the cake, so she didn't buy cake. I had kibble today.

My tai-ma came early in the morning, no doubt to wish me a happy birthday. I was up and bounding about at 915am, and when I finally had a chance to rest at 3pm, I told ah ma to open her door so I can go in and sleep in my bed. Ah ma seemed pleased I knew when to rest, so she let me sleep alone in her air-conditioned room while she went to cook dinner.

I have some bumps on my right thigh, we don't know if they are rashes or insect bites. But ah ma is very worried and I am very itchy so we will wait and see if they go away after one or two days.

When I go to the gardens, I like to pee on solitary bricks or rocks. Cha calls it ping on the rocks. It sounds like a drink. When ah bee comes back, I will rustle up a double ping on the rocks straight up and make her drink it.

 

Cha keeps calling me Fluffy Ping

May 9th 2008 8:16 am
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Let me address my kibble issue. It's not half bad, you know, the kibble is. But it pales, oh how it pales in comparison with my diet of the past. The past had meat, fruits and all sorts of delicacies. I could weep just thinking about it, but there's light at the end of the 6-week-long tunnel so I merely shed a solitary tear. So it's been 2 weeks into my 6-week kibble diet and I'm crawling the walls already. Today cha announced that I'm to eat nothing but kibble for the rest of my life coz fomfomfom mentioned her friend has a 16 year old miserable dog that eats nothing but kibble. I am to live to 25, cha informs me. So I threatened to kill myself. Fomfomfom says I am too dramatic. So I wept. Dabbing my eyes constantly with my girl scout kerchief I sat in a corner and wept.

Until cha and fomfomfom brought me to the gardens. Just when I was a little cheered up, I found myself back at home and in a bathtub. It was bathing day and when the ordeal was over, I decided to ban everyone who hadn't had a bath from coming near me. I find them smelly.

And in the evening ah bee's voice came from this box and I couldn't find ah bee so I decided I must forget about her. It's been 2 days since I last saw her and I can't have any more unhappiness in my life.

And then cha starts cooing at me and calling me fluffy ping.

 

Ah bee where art thou?

May 8th 2008 8:58 am
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Ah ma was lazy this morning and slept in and then watched tv and refused wilfully to go marketing. So too did I sleep in and woke up only at 10am. Then ah ma brought me to the garden to watch passersby and catch lizards. And after all that we've accomplished, we realised, with much disdain, that fomfomfom hasn't woken up yet.

Suddenly, I remembered the cat. The cat! Last night it was all mewing and flashing eyes. I sought it out, and ah ma said, let her have cat. Upon which I was presented with said cat, flashing eyes and all. I shouted at it but it wasn't cowed so I sniffed its backside to see what its weakness is. And ah ma said to remove the cat so that I won't have nightmares and chatter in my sleep later. I must speak to ah ma tomorrow to clarify that I'm not scared of the stupid cat. And stiffly rebuke cha for saying it looks like me, what with a white tail tip and black fur. She even suggested painting the cat's head with a strip of white so that it may better look like me. The audacity.

In the evening I realised I haven't seen ah bee all day so I went into her room to look for her but she wasn't there.

I am going to sleep now and I still haven't found ah bee.

 
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