WOOOOooooo

We met a Golden Retriever in the gardens today. I barked at him and he walked backwards. He’s a tortoise egg.

When I got back from the gardens, Fomfomfom and Ah bee sprayed my belly with water. And my chest too. Coz it rained three times today and everywhere was wet. I wasn’t too happy coz I just had a bath yesterday so I went to sulk, or what Fomfomfom calls tnio, in the living room all by myself.

All night long I tnioed. I didn’t go to them for bellyrubs. At about 1030, I decided to forgive them so I went to Fomfomfom for a momo. She was watching a movie- Summer Momo Tea. She asked me if I wanted a Momo Tea. I told her a momo would be good, thank you very much.

I told her to bring me out to the balcony for my nightly moontan. We were about to go when Ah ma informed Fomfomfom that she baygoned the whole place. So I had to stay in. That’s when I started to tnio again.

Ah bee gave me a little of her ham and cheese sandwich so I stopped tnioing. I tried to sell the sandwich to Cha for 2 million buckaroos but she said she didn’t want it. Too bad, coz that was some kickass sandwich Ah bee had over there.

They started talking about Esther, their little niece who is two years old. Esther came over to our place over the CNY. When she saw me, she thumped her chest and said, “Esther pa pa”. They were saying that little kids always refer to themselves in the third person. But that is not true. For one, I don’t. It’s always WOOoooooooo when I refer to myself. I am Her Woyal Highness Queen Ping.

Then Fomfomfom and Ah bee started singing silly songs in Cha’s room. Something about Chinese sausages and fishballs. Cha threatened to hurl them both out the window. They continued singing and then started giggling uncontrollably. Cha shook her head and went back to playing her game. Things like that you got to get used to when you live in this house.

Madness.

Incorrigible chicken porridge

Yesterday I was in the garden when this family walked past. The father said to the little girl, “Look at the doggie!” And then he said, “Look at the doggie’s windmill!”. I have a flower windmill in the garden. I take it that they like me and my windmill a lot coz they walked by our house twice.

We got new topsets for our cable tv. They seem to like it a lot. Apparently there are a lot more channels than before. No wonder everyone is glued to it. I don’t’ really care; as long as I have my cartoons everything is dandy.

I didn’t get to go to the gardens today coz it started raining. I told Fomfomfom to keep my windmill coz I don’t want it to be in the rain. She promptly went upstairs to watch TV and snack. She is going out for dinner later and what is she doing now? Snacking on tidbits.

Incorrigible chicken porridge.

Fomfomfom and Ah bee took me out for a walk around the neighbourhood. I heart them deep deep. But most of all, I heart my Ah ma deep deep coz she was the one who ordered them to bring me out. I had to take a bath after that. Poooooi baths.

That MJ girl

Today is mahjong day. The mahjong girls came at 930am. They were making a lot of noise and woke Ah bee up. Ah bee thought that someone had come visiting again and she grouchily asked Cha who the hell it was. When she heard that it was the mahjong girls, she muttered something under her breath and went back to bed.

I fell asleep after watching the MJ girls for a while. Then I heard one of them say, “Money is more important than kinship”. Puiiiiiiiiii. What does she know? Kinship is more important than money, I can tell you that. It’s like me and my Ah ma. I love my Ah ma deep deep + my Ah ma loves me deep deep = kinship. No money in the equation.

Anyway, Ah bee went to cut her hair today. She came back looking.. asymmetrical.

‘Nuff said.

CNY Chu San

Many Mohammads came today. That explains why my Ah ma was up so early and cooking up a storm in the kitchen. She cooked so much food Fomfomfom proclaimed today a day of excesses when she saw the food. Anyway, it was a madhouse here today. They started coming at about 11 and didn’t leave till 7. I was tired out from welcoming everyone and making sure that they were well-taken care of. The kids were playing with my remote control car and making a lot of noise screaming and running around the house. No wonder Ah bee told Fomfomfom that they should go find out if there is a group discount for getting their tubes tied.

I spent the afternoon watching a movie with Cha, Fomfomfom and Auntie Jolene. And sleeping on the sofa next to Ah ma and watching Ah bee gamble. Ah bee is such a gambler. She has been at it all three days. Poker, blackjack, mahjong. Everything. She was losing when I was watching her. I told her to hang on to her undies. It’s not nice to lose your undies during CNY.

While Ah bee was busy hanging on to her undies, Cha, Fomfomfom and Auntie Jolene took me to the gardens. Yippie! I haven’t been there in 2 days already. I was so happy. Then we went for a drive to Cluny Park to look at how the obscenely rich lives. How excessive.

Cha played her game all night long. Fomfomfom went to bed at 10; and so did Ah ma. Ah bee was out playing mahjong. And Ah gong was just pottering the house like he usually does. We are all glad CNY only comes once a year.

Are you?

CNY Chu Er

I didn’t go visiting today. I told Ah ma that I am done with visiting for this entire year. It’s so tiring. Now I know why Fomfomfom dislikes it so much.

When the mountain does not go to Mohammad, Mohammad goes to the mountain. So they visited me instead. Uncle Jimmy and family came in the afternoon. I had to play host. I kept them entertained the whole time they were here. I like them a lot. I even let Ah Mui Auntie Mama carry me. I don’t let just anybody carry me. You can ask Ah Tong about it; he has holes in his hands.

After dinner, Ah bee proudly broke out her poker set and she sat Fomfomfom and Cha down with her in the living room to play. The 2 of them were so bored; they didn’t understand why Ah bee was raving about the game. After a while, they decided to switch games. And then again. I have no idea what they were playing after a while. I only know how to play Blackjack. That is the game where aces are good. I went to sit next to Fomfomfom coz she kept me company in the day while the rest of them were out. I blessed Fomfomfom with many many aces. I am the Queen of Aces. Last year, I won money at Blackjack coz I got aces all the time. Somehow, the aces didn’t seem to work for Fomfomfom; Ah bee told me Fomfomfom lost 40 buckeroos. Half of that went to Ah bee while the rest they put in my shoebox. I like Chinese New Year. It puts money into my shoebox. But poor Fomfomfom, I think her shoebox must be empty by now.

CNY Chu Yi

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year. We went to my mother’s house for lunch. I was so happy to see my mummy, jiejie and gorgor. I haven’t seen them in months! I said gong xi gong xi to my mummy and then I ran off to play with my jiejie. My jiejie likes to sit on me coz I tend to be a little hyperactive when I see them. My gorgor, on the other hand, likes to sniff at my backside. I think it’s a guy thing that’s why we all don’t get it.

The 5 of us (plus a miniature Maltese) were just running around the house the whole time and we made the place so much livelier. Every household needs little darlings like us. The world will be a much better place.

We went home for a short nap and then we went to Cousin Max’s. Ah Girl said he lost weight but he looks as pudgy as ever to me. I didn’t play with him this time coz I was too tired. So I went upstairs to watch TV for a while. And then I sat by the pool and listened to the adults talk. I was so bored coz there was nothing to do and everyone kept patting my head and making googoogaga faces at me. Finally Cha and Fomfomfom brought me home after dinner. I collapsed for 3 hours after that coz I was so tired out from visiting the whole day.

I didn’t get any ang baos today but Ah bee promised to share her winnings from poker with me. If she doesn’t lose it all tomorrow that is.

Happy new year pull your ear!

This afternoon, Ah bee told me that I am all grown up now that this is my 4th Chinese New Year. So I had to make certain decisions for myself. And be responsible for them. According to her, I will have to weigh my options carefully and consider the potential repercussions of my actions. I didn’t really get what she meant by that; I usually just make decisions my way. So I asked myself if I wanted to go to the gardens and it came back as a YES. The bath is just a repercussion that does not register in my head.

After my bath, we had our reunion dinner. I love steamboat. I had liver, quail eggs, dumplings, prawns. The works. And for dessert, I had many many tidbits. Yummy. I got 4 ang baos already. They are under my bed. I am supposed to sleep on them tonight. I can’t remember what for but I know it’s good for me. I am going to buy bak kwa with my ang bao money. Then I’m going to go on a picnic at the botanical gardens with my bak kwa. So happy.

I watched a Chinese movie, a Taiwanese variety show and a Korean drama after that. No wonder I am so tired. I shall go to bed now. I need to wake up fresh tomorrow coz I am going visiting and collecting ang baos. That is when my beautiful hair comes into use. *blinks*

My poopie II

This is what happens if I don’t go to the gardens. I don’t give them my poopie. Then the next morning, I can’t hold it in any longer so I poop. Like I said it’s in the morning, so I am naturally hungry. So I eat the poopie. But like I said again, I am very hungry. So I throw the poopie up. And this is why I should go to the gardens everyday.

So they brought me to the gardens today. Ah bee wanted to go at 2 but they said it was too hot. And that it wouldn’t rain. Until at about 4, they realized that it was going to rain. So we hurried to the gardens. We walked for about 20 minutes and had to leave coz it was getting so dark. But it’s okay because they accomplished their mission already. I wouldn’t be throwing up poop tomorrow morning.

I was watching opera with Ah ma at night. My Ah ma’s stupid children can’t understand it and I had to explain to them coz Ah ma was too engrossed.

What will they do without me.

My Sigui

Ah bee came back with a V-day present for me today. It’s from my Sigui. It’s a leopard print chewtoy that doubles up as a pillow. Isn’t my Sigui such a sigui? Such a hopeless romantic. Last year, he bought me another chewtoy, with bells. I destroyed that one within a couple of days but it still sits proudly in Ah bee’s drawer.

Anyway, I was a little upset coz I heard that he bought presents for 2 other gals as well. But what do you expect from a sigui? And it’s okay coz I have the very buff bf from next door, Cousin Max and Fomfomfom as my Valentines as well. We are even, I guess.

I love my Sigui.

Happy Valentine's

Today is Valentine’s Day. Fomfomfom says she is my Valentine. So today is Fomfomfom’s Day. Her day didn’t start out too well coz she was scolded by Ah ma in the morning for not knowing her way around Arab Street. She will have you know she’s not the only one unfamiliar with the place; who goes to Arab Street to buy Chinese New Year goodies anyway?

Anyway, her day took a turn for the better. She slept the afternoon away. And after dinner, a present came for her. It came in a blue box. With a white ribbon. I like it. It’s so pretty. The box, not whatever was in there.

I think I will tell Fomfomfom to let me have the box. Coz I am her Valentine. And blue boxes you give to your Valentine. Or to people you want to have as your Valentine. Giggle. She doesn’t get it I tell you. Giggle.