Raaaaaaaa

I went to the gardens twice today. One time in the morning and once in the evening. That’s coz I didn’t poop last night and so Ah ma told Cha and Fomfomfom to bring me there at 10 in the morning. Then we went again in the evening. It started raining 7 minutes into my walk. It was quite a bummer but it’s okay since it was my second time there. Oh, I pooped both times. So happy.

Ah ma said that she goes to pray at the temple everytime she’s in the area. Fomfomfom told her to pray for me too. I know a little bit about Buddhism. I think you need to dance around the Bodhi tree to reach enlightenment. I think the hardest part about reaching enlightenment is finding the Bodhi tree to dance around. The dancing bit is easy enough- I am already well-versed in disco. And I know a little bit about salsa. Cha has recently taught me how to dance to classical music. I want to learn the robot dance.

I am a savage. Raaaa.

It's Raining

I was most upset today. It started raining at 3 and I never stood a chance against it. It was THAT heavy. Lynn told Ah bee that she was so scared driving because the traffic was horrid and she couldn’t see anything. I know how she felt- I could hardly see my windmill from where I was standing.

Hey you up there, it’s March, not December. Go easy with the rain will you?

Meow

I am an armrest. That’s what they call me. But I am not terribly good at being one apparently coz I move around too much. Cha tried to rest her arm on me while she was watching TV but I got fed up after a while and I shifted. They told me that I will have to spend more time practicing to be one. I think they are crazy.

I went to pick Ah bee up from school today. I walked up the path from the garden to where the carpark is. That stupid Ah bee, she didn’t even see me. But she was beaming when she saw me. I think. Coz I wasn’t really paying attention to her; I was looking out for stray cats. Ah bee told me that there are plenty of them maomaos around the canteen. But I didn’t see any there. Instead, I saw one at the gardens. It was snarling at me and I was raring to go at it. But Fomfomfom was holding me and Cha went to chase the tabby away. Ha, you little tortoise egg. I win.

The indignity

Before we went to the gardens Cha warned me not to make anyone cry. She makes me sound like a bully. Anyway, I didn’t make anyone cry yesterday. I didn’t even bark much yesterday. That’s coz there weren’t many pooches there. We went there early coz Ah bee was going out and it was HOT. That stupid Ah bee said she thought it might rain. Rain my ass. The clouds didn’t even begin to gather till around 630 and it didn’t even rain.

I had to take a bath after that and I wasn’t too happy about it. I tried to bite a couple of times but I gave up. Then later I saw that the kitchen door was ajar so I ran out and got my paws all muddy again. Ah ma wasn’t too happy about it. When they finally caught me, Ah ma washed my feet in the sink. How undignified.

Who's the baby

Today I am three years and three months old. I had a Sara Lee pound cake and a Happy Meal. Ah bee ate the Happy Meal but I get to keep the toy. I am a big girl now.

Today at the gardens, I saw many many dogs. I was so happy; I barked at all of them. But I particularly like this handsome Golden Retriever. I followed him for quite a distance, barking as I did. Until Ah bee and Fomfomfom decided that I was too embarrassing so Ah bee picked me up and we overtook the handsome devil. Ah bee then let me down next to this little kid in a stroller. I started barking, not at the kid, but at the dog. That kid, he scrunched up his face and started brawling. He’s such a baby. I plead innocence.

Wild

It was scorching today. I got to go to the gardens only at 645 today coz it was so hot and sunny. There weren’t many people there; I think everyone had gone home for dinner already. All the better. I had the whole place to myself. Well, almost. There was this fella I’ve never seen before- he was juggling in the middle of the field. Though it would be a little of a stretch to say that he was juggling since he had only 2 pins. And he was using both hands.

It was dark by the time I got home. I like it. Ah bee said I was a wild child who stayed out till it was dark. Oooh. I like that. It makes me sound so rebellious. I like.

Eye see you

I puked in the morning. But I am not anorexic; I was erm hungry. So they promptly fed me my lunch. I usually take a nap after lunch. With Ah ma. But Cha went out with Ah ma. So I had to *sigh* sleep with Ah bee. I don’t like napping with Ah bee. She sleeps like a log; I can’t wake her up by pottering around her room. And so I will have to sneeze or growl or bark if I want her attention. The only good thing about sleeping with Ah bee is that I get to sleep on her bed. So today I slept in the middle of her bed. She had to curl herself around me. And when I felt like going out I would growl at her or lick her fingers. This happened a couple of times. *Giggle* and when I’ve had enough of sleeping, I would get her to give me a belly rub. I think the poor gal was exhausted; she fell asleep while giving me a belly rub. That’s coz she slept really late last night and was up early for a morning class. She was on the phone talking relationships, pancakes and Buddhist scriptures last night. Don’t look at me.

Anyway, I went to the gardens today and I saw this decomposed leaf and started sniffing at it. Fomfomfom didn’t realize that there were huuuuuuugggeee red ants there and one ended up near my eye. I tried to get it off by swiping it with my paw but that was one persistent ant. Cha had to help me remove it. Fomfomfom was so worried that the ant bit my eye or something that she kept checking my eye all night.

Silly.

My sexy bone

I didn't poop yesterday. Ah ma was disappointed this morning when she enquired as to my poopie status and she just had to had to had to see my poop so she ordered fomfomfom to bring me outside the house to poop. Then I pooped and ah ma held my leash while fomfomfom cleaned up and ah ma dragged me back to the house. I felt used, like the common prostitute. Ah ma only wanted my poop, she didn't care about my mental wellbeing at all. And then ah ma and fomfomfom went out gallivanting and I was destroyed.

Then ah ma came back and it was the afternoon and I asked permission to go to the balcony outside ah ma's room for exploration. Fomfomfom opened the window for me and then told me that I'm a big girl now and that I should be able to come back into the room myself. But somehow I got lost and cha had to come out to get me and I lost some credibility.

Then we woke fomfomfom who was having a nap coz it looked like it was going to rain. We went to the botanical gardens and I dragged fomfomfom behind me for half an hour. Then we went home and ah ma, my lovely ah ma, brought me to the garden to bark at passers by. Then it rained and I ran back into the house coz 2 drops fell on me. Ah ma laughed at me coz I vigorously shook myself dry and I was offended.

At night I was, you know, passing time in my bed in ah ma's room and ah ma complained my mamas don't play with me. Cha then started to turn my bed anti-clockwise and then she turned it clockwise and ah ma screamed that I'm going to faint and I thought that was a strange game that my unfortunate mamas must have played when they were younger.

I only like my sexy bone.

My $53

The market has been real crazy. Fomfomfom and Cha are glued to their screens all day long. And yesterday I think they lost beaucoup de money. No wonder they looked so unbalanced. I couldn’t stand to see them like that so I told Fomfomfom that I will give her the 53 bucks meant for my bak kwa. I think I saw tears in her eyes when I said that.

Somehow I dun think being good does one any good. Everyone said that I was guai for giving up my 53 dollars. But it still rained. And I didn’t get to go to the gardens today. I think I need to accumulate more merits. Otherwise it wouldn’t just be the rain; the karma police will come catch me.

*shudders*

The thrill

It is the mahjong day today. I have to guard the girls coz it is my job so that I may ask ah ma to anoint my palm with 50 cents at the end of the day. But, oh, how boring it is, now that i have seen them a dozen times. I was fighting it, yes I was, but the sleep in my eyes, oh how tireless it is. I had to sneak up to cha's room to sleep. I was stealthy. To steal 40 winks! Oh the stress. But hey? It was exciting, yes it was. Like the cat burglar in the night, like the kleptomaniac in the 7-11, oh the thrill.

And I have to put this down too. It is my observation that if I stare at something hard enough, long enough, my wish will be fulfilled. So it was boring, see? I climbed the stairs, and I spied, with my little eye, my blue leash at the side of the stairs! So I did a care bear stare! And stare! Stare! It was about to happen, the leash, it was about to put itself on me so that I may go to the gardens, but for the unfortunate cha who was staring at me. I had to walk away before the magic happened, I was so self conscious.

Then my backside was itchy. Ah ma asked auntie dorothy to scratch it for me. Auntie dorothy was about to do it, then she decided she didn't know how to do it. Sheesh. I was too polite to do the care bear stare to turn her into a crow.

It is night time. And cha said it is time for me to sleep. I didn't want to, for how is a person to settle for water when she's had dew? My sleep, from now, has to be stolen. So I told cha to leave the lights on so that we will look like we're awake when we are actually sleeping. We will be stealthy, we will fool the whole world.

Oh the thrill.