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What can $28 buy you?

February 27th 2008 8:30 am
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Ah ma was really crabby today. And Ah gong kept pissing everyone off. Fomfomfom is very pleased with herself. Cha kept going out without me. Merrilyn was really busy moving her flowers from the ground into pots. And Ah bee was exceptionally hungry.

Me? I smell wonderful. I am sure to give Cha a headache tonight.

 

I did a raindance, that's why.

February 26th 2008 8:48 am
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It rained for the first time in weeks last night. Cha woke me up so that I can keep her company and together we listened to the rain fall. You know, just in case the roof leaks. I am very happy it rained. The plants at the gardens were starting to wilt already.

Melmel gave me a fright just now. I think it’s coz I haven’t seen him in a long time. He came straight for me and kept wanting to sniff my backside. I was scared so I kept running from him. But he kept chasing me. Melmel is actually the gentlest one around but still he’s a big dog so we’re scared of him. He can just take one bite at me and I’ll be finito. One can never be too careful.

Fomfomfom says that I am the sole recipient of her love. I am afraid I cannot say the same. Because the only person I love deeply is my Ah ma.

Because dogs are like humans and machines.

Jian.

 

The Flash in the flesh

February 25th 2008 9:03 am
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I almost fought with a little terrier just now. I wasn’t scared of him but he just kept coming closer and closer and I wanted to tell him to back off so I growled at him. And then he growled back. And we went at each other. Lucky for him, Ah bee picked me up by my harness immediately. I would have eaten him up. Cha scolded me when she heard that I almost got into a fight at the gardens. But it wasn’t my fault. Really.

There is now a new rule in the house. Every door and window is to be kept shut after 7pm coz we don’t want that bat to come into the house anymore. No one forgot coz Ah bee kept bugging everyone to close everything. She managed to freak herself out by looking at information on bats online last night. And she was so terrified she asked Fomfomfom if she could sleep with her. Fomfomfom told her too bad and shut the door in her face. One day I will catch a few lizards and put them in her bed, Ah bee says. Then just now when Ah bee said she was hungry, Fomfomfom told her to go eat a grilled bat. Tough love here. Very tough.

And just now they got into a debate about whether hens can lay eggs without the cock. Fomfomfom informed Ah bee that the cock only comes into the picture when the eggs are to be fertilized so that they can hatch into little chicks. Ah bee wasn’t convinced. She says all that has to be done is for the hen to sit on the eggs and hatch them. So Fomfomfom told her to go sit on a couple of eggs and see if they’d hatch. You know, if Ah bee’s right, I would go sit on a couple of them chicken eggs myself and hatch a few little chicks of my own. Then they will have to call me Mama. That would be fun.

Thanks for the star Lexie and Buddy Grau!

 

Please Bat, don't come back anymore.

February 24th 2008 8:45 am
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Today at the gardens, we met this Schnauzer. She’s five months old and wears a pink collar. When we saw her, she was sitting under a bench motionless. Her owners informed us that it’s her first time out and that’s why she’s hiding under the bench. Fomfomfom carried me and brought me closer to her but as usual, I was scared and I refused to play. So we left and continued walking. When we came back and saw them again, her owners had managed to coax her out from under the bench. Her mummy was feeding her tidbits and her daddy was on his belly taking pictures of her. Aww.

And I discovered the pineapple just now. Fomfomfom gave me a little to try. She has been reading and it seems that pineapple is good for us doggies too. So I got to try a little just now. I love it. But Cha and Ah ma said I shouldn’t have too much so I didn’t. I’m starting to like fruits a lot. I’ve been eating lotsa pears and cucumbers too. Nice and cold and sweet. Yummy.

And the bat came back. I am assuming it’s the same bat. Ah bee saw it flying around downstairs and she screamed for Ah gong to come chase it away. Fomfomfom was squatting outside at the porch, while Cha, on hearing that there was a loose bat in the house, promptly shut her door, hiding in the safety of her room. It took a while before that bat finally flew out the door. Ah bee is now terrified coz apparently bats can contract rabies and when they do, their flight becomes erratic and they can fly into things or people when they normally wouldn’t. She says she will just die if a bat flies into her. I believe her.

 

Um.

February 23rd 2008 9:06 am
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A woman came over to pat me today in the gardens. She said I reminded her of her dog, a Shih Tzu-Terrier mix. She couldn’t stop looking at me and touching my head, commenting how much I remind her of her dog. I think her dog is not around anymore coz she looked like she was going to cry. Even after we said goodbye, she kept turning around to look at me. Poor woman.

They started cleaning my right ear again coz it smells funky. The vet woman just gave me the clear last week when I went to get my backside squeezed. How quickly the bateria develop. But it’s okay- the Panalog will take care of that. Speaking of which, Fomfomfom threw out most of my old medicine from donkey years ago, including the eye drops for my ears. *giggles* And the Caesar canned food which expired in 2006. Oops. I take after Ah bee- we’re both rubbish collectors. She used to fish out the things that Cha and Fomfomfom threw away and keep them in her drawer. Really a poon soh collector that one.

 

Bats. All of them.

February 22nd 2008 8:23 am
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The bat came back. Okay I am not sure if it’s the same one but there was one hanging upside down from the curtains just now. Ah bee thought she would go closer and take a picture of the little fella but when she got close enough to see its face, she freaked out. Then she ran out of the house to where Fomfomfom and I were, and she shut the door behind her. It started flying around wildly in the house when Ah gong went after it with a net. That was when Ah bee started screaming. She was so hysterical and I think it rubbed off Fomfomfom coz she tried to duck under the table. I could see Merrilyn laughing at them both from where I was standing. When Ah gong wanted to open the door to chase the bat out, Ah bee refused to let him. So for a while, we were all outside while Ah gong was in there chasing the stupid bat around. Poor Ah gong eventually managed to chase the bat downstairs where it then flew outta the front door.

It was fun.

 

I didn't strike Toto. =(

February 21st 2008 8:16 am
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It’s Yuan Xiao today. We didn’t eat tang yuans coz we’re not big on that over here. Generally I think Singaporeans are not big on traditions traditions per se. But we are big on one thing over here- gambling.

I think it’s a Chinese thing. It’s in our blood. It’s like how the Chinese eat everything you can possibly imagine. It’s in our blood. Our ancestors used to say- anything that moves and has its back to the skies can be eaten. That reminds me of the tortoise soup Ah gong brought back the other day. Apparently it tastes like chicken. Chicken of the sea. Hmm, I thought that’s tuna.

But I digress. Over here, we bet on almost everything. Every house is a gambling den during CNY. But the national favourite is lottery. We play that all year round. We have the 4D, Toto, Sweeps and all. And today, today is special. Because today is the 15th day of CNY. So today, we have the Hongbao Toto.

The draw for the Hongbao Toto this year is $10million. So Ah bee told everyone to cough up $7 each so that she can go buy 10 sets of numbers. She was about to take the money from my shoe box when Ah ma paid my share for me. Kiss kiss Ah ma.

And so 930pm came and our best bet only matched two numbers. Ah bee and I, we were devastated. Because we had a good feeling about this. But it was not to be.

I am just glad Ah ma paid for me.

 

I hate traditions

February 20th 2008 10:04 am
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This one in particular. I was so happy when they forgot last year and I was hoping they would again this year. But noooooooo, they didn’t. Stupid girls. Every year during CNY, they would peel an orange and use the skin to make some sort of a hat for me. Then they would put it on my head and take a picture. Every year they’ll promise that the next year they would buy three pomelos and make pomelo hats for themselves but they never did. Anyway, so they were trying to get me to wear the orange skin but I refused to let them have their way. Ah bee tried to pick me up but I bit her. That’d teach her for making that hideous thing every year.

In the end they sort of gave up and we put the orange skin on Yongqi instead. We should do this from now on. By proxy.

And that was CNY 2005, if you were wondering.

 

Ah bee 2, Fomfomfom 1, Cha 0

February 19th 2008 8:45 am
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Lydia Sum passed away today. She’s only 61. Everyone knows that she has been sick for two years now but still, it’s shocking to hear the news. I feel so sorry for her daughter. She lost her grandmother and mother in a span of months. I know how she feels. It’s like when I was taken away from my Sugar mummy. But I have Ah ma now. She doesn’t. Poor thing.

As I am writing this, there is a bat downstairs. It flew across the room when Fomfomfom and Ah bee were watching tv. We aren’t exactly sure if it’s a bat but it sure doesn’t look like a bird. So it should be a bat. Anyway, Cha’s lucky she didn’t see the bat. She would have gotten a fright. That woman’s scared of flying cockroaches, what more a flying bat.

Before Ah bee got a chance to calm down, she got another fright. She was waiting for Fomfomfom to come up. She heard Fomfomfom walking up the stairs and she knew exactly when Fomfomfom would turn the corner and appear in front of her. But still she nearly jumped outta her skin when she saw Fomfomfom. That Fomfomfom had black gooey stuff on her face and she looked utterly frightful. Ah bee tells me that it was ugly. Real ugly. Like the creature from the black lagoon. I believe her.

Fright scores of the night.

 

Ah ma won $28 today at MJ.

February 18th 2008 7:50 am
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I really think she is getting better at this. She can take over the breadwinning in this house. Don’t be deceived when I say take over; there is no one to take over from. The current unemployment rate in this house, sans Merrilyn, is 100%.

Cha told Ah bee an unfunny joke just now. Fomfomfom laughed a little, saying it’s midly amusing. It’s something to do with naming Ah bee’s kids Ha, Mi and Gua.

Hurhur.

 
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