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Pingping's Import / Export Pte Ltd

November 28th 2010 8:10 am
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They were talking about taxes and how maybe a company structure is useful because the losses can be carried forward for tax purposes. Fearing that I would be left out of the conversation, they said they would set up a company for me as well.

Ooh that got me thinking - I think I will sell widgets. I will source them from the States and ship them halfway around the world to China. And since the endgame I hear is taxes, I will just sell them at cost and there is no way I will have to pay taxes.

*beams* Business acumen, my dear friends. You either have it or you don't.

 

Maybe they should let her vote

November 27th 2010 8:45 am
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Ah ma is really worked up over the Taiwan elections. She spent the entire day glued to the tube. When Ah bee asked her if she should take a break and rest her eyes, she said, "Oh it's ok - I will close my eyes when I'm tired but I still want to listen to them."

I really don't understand that woman.

 

Dirty politics

November 26th 2010 7:38 am
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Ah ma is real indignant that a taiwan politician got shot in the face today. She cornered fomfomfom and excitedly chattered away about how he got shot, how it might be real serious, and how dirty the opposition is. Fomfomfom wasn't interested at all, I could see, but ah ma was so excited we just had to respond politely.

Methinks taiwan should make ah ma an honorary citizen for all the attention she showers on the country.

 

Zero

November 25th 2010 6:35 am
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Today the results for the primary school leaving exams were released. I asked ah ma what if I got zero for my PSLE. Ah ma said, my face is of one who WILL score zero anyway.

I thought it over and decided it's an insult. So I taught one of ah ma's slippers a lesson it will never forget. Later, cha dressed me in my puppia pink striped t-shirt. They were all delighted and took a great number of pictures of me. I basked in my own glamour, until ah ma said again, now that's a face that will score zero for PSLE!

I was going to call the SPCA. But ah ma then specially made some fookchow pork dumplings with water chestnut for me for my supper and I forgave her. I ate 7. Yums.

 

The maid

November 24th 2010 7:52 am
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I was sitting by the post box when rusty's maid came and sat beside me. Then the young lady boss, sexily dressed in short shorts and big fancy fashion sunglasses, came back with her boyfriend and went towards the lift. The maid called for her attention and here is the subsequent conversation.

Maid: Oi.
Girl: What you doing here?
Maid: Sitting lah. Dancing ah?
Girl: Give me the key. Hurry up. I want to shit.
Maid: Wait lah. I want to buy bread.

All 3 went merrily to shop to buy bread. I love to see a happy family that includes a maid.

 

Like, yums

November 23rd 2010 6:52 am
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Finally there's a change to my drab diet. Ah ma fried a whole white pomfret for my dinner today. I got it on white rice and a few drops of soy sauce. It was, like, yums. I've placed an order for it once a week, for, like, forever.

Like, yums.

 

End of holiday

November 22nd 2010 6:34 am
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Ah bee's finally gone back to work. 2 weeks of play and no work has made her a lazybones. I kicked her when I walked by. Now perhaps I'll get back some respect for her.

It's looking good. It's almost eleven and she's still not back.

 

So so bad

November 21st 2010 7:52 am
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I fear for my Ah gong. He doesn't know to shut up. They were out today and he stared at this lady in a tube dress. Then he said to Ah bee, "You know she's twice your size but I don't think she's too fat."

It was a good thing the lady didn't see him staring or hear what he said coz if I were her, I would have socked him.

Then later he saw another lady and he said to himself only too loudly, "Too skinny!" This time, she heard him and she turned around and glared at him.

What with the recent spat of teenage gang related incidents, someone needs to tell him to shut the trap up.

 

One star

November 20th 2010 11:44 am
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Happy to report that after last month's unhappy attempts at emptying my anal sacs, it was swift and less unpleasant this time.

Ah bee thought she would share why it's so difficult and insists I reproduce it here- it's like trying to pop a water balloon by pinching it with your thumb and index. It's difficult because the water swishes about.

Okay whatever. Just make sure you always do it this quick.

 

Alien

November 19th 2010 9:27 am
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AVA sent a letter reminding them to renew my dog licence. It costs 14 dollars to renew it for a year. Pingping is so high maintenance, they said.

Yes yes, very funny. But they didn't stop at that.

"Maybe we should not renew her licence, let her be an alien and then we can scare her by telling her she can't go for walks in case they catch her!"

"And tell her she has to be very quiet and not bark when she's at home coz the neighbours might complain. And when they find out she doesn't have a licence they will get her!"

They're so stupid.

 
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