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Profits

October 8th 2008 8:46 am
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I heard ah ma go off again early this morning, when it was still dark. I scratched the door to ask cha to let me out so I may say goodbye to ah ma, but cha didn't open the door for me. Sigh, ah ma was off on one of her numerous trips, I guess not saying goodbye is no biggie. She does it all the time. The more important thing is I forgot to tell ask ma to bet $50 on big for me.

But I had profits elsewhere. It seems the price of gold went up today, so I told fomfomfom that I will take the profits on the 500 ounces of gold I told her to buy yesterday. Fomfomfom tried to protest I didn't tell her to buy anything yesterday but I would not have it. I asked ah bee to calculate the profits and--was that a wink I saw from fomfomfom to ah bee?--after some intense mindwork, ah bee grandly declared that the profit is a lollipop. Satisfied, I told ah bee to remember to collect my lollipop and put it in my shoebox.

Trading is such satisfying business.

 

Kiss and tell

October 7th 2008 7:34 am
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I met an iguana today. I hadn't had time to ask his name before he ran away. I wanted to catch him to bring home for fomfomfom but I only managed to kiss him. I didn't want to kiss and tell so I made no mention of the encounter to anyone at home.

Ah bee, however, adheres to an altogether different moral code. It is reprehensible how she spilt the beans and fomfomfom made her wipe my mouth before she will let me kiss her. Next time I witness any of ah bee's encounters of such kind I will shout it from the rooftops. And then I will scrub out her mouth too.

 

2 cats and 3 dogs this morning. Whee!

October 6th 2008 8:40 am
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I got this big swollen bump on my right eyelid this afternoon. Fomfomfom was so alarmed she screamed for cha to come take a look, who dismissed it as an insect bite. Or, aha! It might be the duck fomfomfom fed me for lunch. An allergy! Cha gave fomfomfom dirty looks and said I shouldn't be eating too much meat.

I went for a walk with the lovely fomfomfom and when I came back, the bump was gone. Aha! It must have been an allergy, cha declares. Fomfomfom got only dirty looks. I told fomfomfom, it's ok. I will treat her well. Just keep all that exotic meat coming.

Ah ma was watering her plants with fishy water again. I had to get some of that tasty stuff, so I licked the flower pot. That, ah ma saw. Cha didn't tell ah ma I licked the soil too in case ah ma drags me for mouth cleaning. I got a scolding from cha and the lovely fomfomfom kissed me and said it's ok.

At night me and fomfomfom and ah ma watched the dow drop off a cliff and I decided I had to sleep soon. Coz not many people will be able to sleep tonight and grandpa zhou will be very free to play the swing with me. Whee!

 

World Animal Day

October 5th 2008 8:12 am
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According to the papers, apparently it is world 'nimal day today. Cha informed me of that pleasant fact, and I thought, good for all you animals out there!

I asked cha when it is world baby day coz that would be when I can celebrate. Cha said she didn't know, but we can privately designate today as world smelly baby day and I can celebrate.

I thought, that's not a bad idea at all. Though I had a bath today and I'm not a smelly baby. I will be sure not to bathe on this day next year so that I can celebrate my day properly.

 

Cha cha cha!

October 4th 2008 10:19 am
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Today is Cha's birthday. One more year and she'll be tofu dregs. That's not the saddest part about today; the saddest bit came when a cake was delivered to our place for Cha. Ah ma asked, why is there a birthday cake? It's not anyone's birthday. It's my birthday today Ma, Cha replied. Isn't your birthday long over, Ah ma asked.

Ouch.

The good thing is, the rest of the day was happy for her.

Together now, CHACHACHA!

 

Ah bee should only eat McChickens from now

October 3rd 2008 10:10 am
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Ah gong called me dog dog this morning. I told him my name is xiaoping and he should call me that. He insisted on calling me dog dog and we had words. I told cha I'm going to call him old man from now on.

Ah bee's supper was a McSpicy. I had to have some, and my word, it was delicious, but so spicy. My stummy is rumbling now.

 

When I saw that coconut, I had to say conut, conut, coconut

October 2nd 2008 9:25 am
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We saw a CSI miami advert on tv. Fomfomfom muttered, horatio is an awful name. Ah bee agreed enthusiastically and the 2 of them made like poets and went, ratio, ratio, horatio. Cha screamed that's lame and they said, we didn't say that, ping did.

I said, yeah, whatever. You can put everything on my head, just keep that fried fish coming.

 

Happy Children's Day to me

October 1st 2008 7:39 am
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Ah ma has taken to watering her precious plants with water she used to wash rice, fish etc. So last night she put a tub of fish water into the fridge and this morning, as the cold water was awaiting its destiny on the balcony, I lapped at it. Unfortunately, ah ma caught me and I got me some furious mouth cleaning.

As I sulked the afternoon away, I felt some rumblings in my stummy and it was a stummyache so I pooped in front of the stairs. It was the first time I'd had to poop in this house, and in a great hurry too, so the location wasn't choice. Ah ma found the pile and everyone praised me for not eating my poop. And I got lots of lovin' coz I presumably was having a stummyache.

It is Children's Day today. As is tradition, ah bee came back with a happy meal for me. The toy is a car of dubious quality, unlike the cars of yore, as ah bee recounted with great regret. I didn't like it, but the plastic cow piggybank was something else. It was a free gift from the cinema. I tried to bite its head off and when fomfomfom, mindful of the chemicals it could contain, tried to take it away, I bit her. Later, they hid the thing and I am left in regret. Chicken mcnuggets do not assuage regret.

 

Ah bee is very wad-tad

September 30th 2008 7:37 am
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Ah bee fancies herself a cantonese expert. So I told her something in cantonese and we thought it so fitting.

I met a dog poo activist this morning. This woman was walking her dog with her husband. Her husband was holding the leash and she was holding papers and a plastic bag. When she saw us she asked fomfomfom if she wanted some papers. Fomfomfom was confused and asked her, for what? The woman said, for my poo poo. Fomfomfom fished out a plastic bag from her pocket and told the woman she has a bag. The woman seemed satisfied.

We thought all sorts of people roam the surface of the earth and the strangest ones live in our condo.

 

I'm scared

September 29th 2008 9:08 am
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I almost forget to write my diary tonight. Maybe fomfomfom will spank my backside if I forget. Ah bee whispered to me if I forget to write my diary my day would have fallen into a black hole. It sounds scary. I shall resolve to write my diary everyday religiously. I don't like black holes.

 
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