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Ah ma loves me and I love ah ma

April 7th 2009 8:50 am
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Today ah ma made me roast pork, as per my request yesterday. My opinion is this, if ah ma decides to set up shop to sell her roast pork, we'll make millions. Of shih tzus.

I nosed my way forcibly into ah ma's room at 11plus at night. Ah ma told me to switch off the lights before I go out. Meanwhile, ah ma was already under her blanket. I whined that I was too short, I can't reach the switch. Ah ma told fomfomfom to carry me so I can switch off the lights.

I ran out of the room before anyone could stop me and shouted to ah ma to off the lights herself. Giggles.

 

I love pig stummy

April 6th 2009 8:38 am
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Ah bee kept asking fomfomfom stupid riddles. Fomfomfom didn't know the answers coz they were so stupid. Like:

A maid entered a room and found marc anthony and cleopatra dead. There was no evidence of murder except for a broken bowl nearby. How did they die?

They were goldfish.

So stupid they almost gave me a stummyache.

 

Ah bee has an ingrown toenail

April 5th 2009 8:49 am
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Am ma told me today that people used to just throw their pets out onto the streets. Now they would bring them to the groomers and then doll them up, before throwing them on the streets. So that people may find them cute, hopefully, and adopt them.

I say, that's people with no conscience pretending to have half a conscience. Pui. I despise them.

 

Smelly Cat

April 4th 2009 8:46 am
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Fomfomfom sang to me as she fed me salmon sashimi for lunch today:

"Smelly cat, smelly cat
What am I feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat
It's not your fault"

What I have to put up with to get some food around here.

 

Not too bright

April 3rd 2009 7:22 am
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I saw the baby with a lot of hair today. She was chewing her finger. I wagged my finger at her and told her solemnly she's going to get a stummyache if her finger ain't clean. Her maid explained she's teething, that's why she needs to chew. Apparently, sometimes she will throw her teething toy away and then chew on her finger. And then she will chew too hard and then she will cry.

I cupped my hands over my nose and mouth and tried not to laugh.

 

Shimmy, shimmy

April 2nd 2009 7:50 am
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Fomfomfom and cha were having salmon sashimi for lunch today. I sat by fom's chair and informed her politely I wanted a taste. So fomfomfom let me sniff the salmon and I let her know I approve of it by licking a piece. With raised eyebrows and a conspiratorial wink at cha, fomfomfom broke off a piece and gave it to me. And she tried to make me say meow.

I knew the lousy thing expected me to flee with my tail between my legs. What she didn't know was that I am a lover of raw fish. Unlike someone who's only starting to dip a toe gingerly into the marvelous world of raw fish, I chomped and chomped with gusto.

And the zero had to beg the hero to leave her one piece of sashimi. I only agreed when she said meow.

 

Hooray!

April 1st 2009 7:30 am
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We are so happy today coz doudou has solved her constipation problem. She succeeded so fast today I was touched.

Ah ma made everyone watch a dog parade on the animal planet channel tonight. It was funny, the poor dogs, they had to put on costumes and some pretended to be airplanes. The airplanes won, though I personally preferred the playgirls. Their wigs and bikinis were very fetching indeed. Then I heard someone say I should get a wig too. I was disapproving. How undignified.

 

I observed doudou for a long time

March 31st 2009 7:39 am
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Ah ma got a new phone today. I struck a few poses obligingly so they could get the material for the wallpaper. I'm photogenic at 2 megapixels as I am at 10. What can I say?

I met doudou the rabid shihtzu today. She was constipated, the poor girl. It must have been my ferocious bark that frightened her so. I shall not bark at her next time, constipation is a nasty business. Think the poor thing didn't succeed today.

 

What price competition

March 30th 2009 7:55 am
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Fomfomfom bought me a plastic bone last night. It's got a beef flavour. I wasn't impressed. I didn't want to touch it with a ten foot pole.

Then I learnt today that my brother, who also got a bone last night courtesy of fomfomfom, chewed it till 11 plus pm. Now we can't have that, can we, so I started chewing on the *ugh* bone this evening. It's so hard I had to take a nap after 15 minutes of chewing. But I worked hard tonight, I have to make up for lost time.

 

We love chicken

March 29th 2009 9:12 am
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They had kfc for lunch. I insisted I must have kfc for lunch too. That's because it's almost like a communist colony here, except that there's a monarch, me. Therefore everyone had kfc for lunch today and I didn't order for anyone to be beheaded.

That's because I am a kind and loving monarch.

 
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