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Kim chi pickled brain

November 9th 2010 6:40 am
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Ah bee kept calling back today from wherever she is, hoping to catch ah ma so she may wish ah ma happy birthday. What a nice daughter, I imagine people thinking.

Only it's not ah ma's birthday today. Duh.

 

Dirty

November 8th 2010 7:27 am
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Fomfomfom's watching this thing called dirty rock. I don't understand it, but she giggles when she watches it, i suspect it's something dirty.

I must tell ah ma.

 

The idiot hock

November 7th 2010 7:33 am
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The lousy weekend security guard came praising me loudly, good boy! Fomfomfom did not respond, of course, so he changed tack and asked, good boy or good girl? What a wit. Fomfomfom stiffly told him good girl, and he came to touch my eyes. Luckily he ran away fast enough, or else fomfomfom would have mauled him. He's probably not getting another chance to come near me again. I hope.

It occurs to me I haven't seen ah bee the entire day. Ah ma says she's gone to the land of dramatic serials. Oh well.

 

Help get him away from me.

November 6th 2010 9:13 am
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Cha told Ah gong that I have the cognition of a three year old child. I'm a little insulted coz I am definitely way better but that is not the point of this story.

So anyway, my Ah gong said, "Really! Then she understands what we are saying." Cha nodded proudly.

Something in my Ah gong's head clicked and he decided he will start chanting some Buddhist sutras to me. Maybe she can be a human in her next life, he said.

I listened to him coz he was giving me a belly rub. But he's not as good as Ah ma so I ran away from him. But he followed me into the room and continued chanting.

They don't know whether to laugh or to scold him.

 

Wrong side of 30

November 5th 2010 10:16 am
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Fomfomfom turned 30 today. Hanging on to her 20s by the skin of her teeth, we held our breath as the moment came and went.

Nothing happened.

And after all that fuss too; I was expecting her to internally combust or something. Not that I want her to, of course.

Today I will say I love Fomfomfom and Fomfomfom loves me.

 

Ping'ed!

November 4th 2010 9:07 am
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Yesterday I pooted a real stinky one when I was in the lift with fomfomfom. When fomfomfom smelled my fart, she panicked and prayed hard that no one was waiting to come into the lift when the door opened. Luckily for her, the gods that she did not believe in came to her rescue.

Cha and ah bee hooted with laughter when I told them about my latest prank. Fomfomfom begged for a solution coz the pingster is a farter-at-will. Ah bee thought there was no way out except to apologise to the person coming in, and then disappear, like a puff of fart. Fomfomfom thought she should just run into a wall at top speed and hope she dies. Cha was the only worthy one. She said we should stop the lift at whatever floor immediately and change a lift.

Hmm. I must think of something more unthwartable next time. But this was a good one, as far as it went. I'm pleased.

 

Abuse

November 3rd 2010 8:45 am
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Ah ma pointed at me and wagged her finger and poked my head with her finger this morning from our floor all the way down to the 1st floor in the lift. I couldn't escape. It was so disrespectful towards me. I was very unhappy.

At night, I only wanted to eat my 3rd supper. No big deal ya. Ah ma suggested they should buy me a pacifier so I can suck on it like a baby. Gasp. The insinuations!

I must call the SPCA to report ah ma.

 

Good

November 2nd 2010 7:21 am
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I learnt today my sugar mummy went for surgery yesterday to drain the fluid out of her ear flap. And they did a dental scaling while she was out too. Now she's got on her head gear. I hope mummy is feeling alright and will take better care of herself from now.

I love my sugar mummy.

 

Messy day

November 1st 2010 9:10 am
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It was late afternoon when we discovered ah ma had been having diarrhoea and throwing up all afternoon. And Jelyn the maid too. We were merciless in scolding ah ma for eating leftovers for lunch. Only ah ma was too weak to listen. It was time for my dinner when fomfomfom rushed out to buy charcoal pills for the food-poisoned. It was all very messy coz my routine cannot be disturbed. Cha fed me and it was surreal.

Then I went down and licked mouldy water that had collected in a tree trunk and fomfomfom scolded me. Ah ma had no dinner for the natives except fried fish and plain rice that they managed to churn out before surrendering to the food poison. Fomfomfom messed up the night salute and I'm sure I'm going to get nightmares. Ah bee gave an artistic flair to the salute but I don't like it.

And ah ma wants cha to have children but forbids fomfomfom from having any.

 

Trick or treat!

October 31st 2010 8:36 am
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Last year I had a hideous little pumpkin but this year everyone seemed to have forgotten about halloween altogether. It wasn't until 11 p.m. when Ah bee said it's a good thing no one came knocking coz we have no candy to drop into their pots. Well, we can always give them Pingping's kibble, she added.

Excuuuuuuse me. Ask them to get their own kibble. Pingping does not share.

 
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Xiao Ping


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