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Your mother

January 23rd 2016 2:35 am
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Just now ah ma called cha on her handphone and asked, "Who is this?"

Apparently they always get calls like that, especially from strangers, so Fomfomfom said that's quite enough and they should come up with a reply to a stupid question like that.

After much discussion, they decided the next time someone calls and asks "Who are you", they are going to say "Your mother". Then they spent a few minutes laughing their heads off and congratulating themselves.

Okay it is quite funny.

 

Outer space

January 22nd 2016 3:24 am
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We hear there's a new planet ten times the size of earth. It hasn't actually been seen, but the scientists theorised it. How wonderful. I wonder how many shih tzus there are on that planet. I shall write to the clever scientists and ask if they can theorise it.

Then five of the current planets that are actually seen and not just theorised are going to line up in a row for a few weeks. If we move our thumbs this way and that, and open and close one eye then the next this way and that, as the papers taught us, we shall be able to see them. At dawn.

I think I shall just theorise it.

 

Food hygiene

January 20th 2016 10:26 pm
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That day Ah ma was cooking liver for me (bless her) and I was waiting outside the kitchen for it. After a while, Fomfomfom went in to check on it and Ah ma passed the liver to her in a clear plastic container. It looked odd to Fomfomfom because Ah ma didn't use my plate so she asked what the container was used for. Ah ma pointed at the raw squid on her chopping board and Fomfomfom nearly died. So ah ma, sensing something was wrong but not feeling the least bit sorry, picked the liver out from the container and cursorily rinsed it under the tap before dumping the liver back in.

I think it's a miracle we are all still alive.

 

Brown nose

January 20th 2016 4:32 am
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That day uncle Manchuria told us his maid found a brown shih tzu and whether we have any idea whose it is. We thought for a long time but came up with nothing. We thought uncle Manchuria might be very happy to keep the doggie coz he must be missing his doggie who passed away a few months back.

Then a few days later we heard the brown shih tzu is beans. Yes, my friend beans. I hadn't seen her for so long I thought she had moved away.

Well, hello beans.

 

Life

January 19th 2016 4:53 am
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Ah ma went out to buy flowers for Chinese New Year and even though they didn't have the flowers she wanted, she came home with super cheap orchids. It was so cheap it made everyone quite high.

After that I heard that my friend Punch's liver is not doing so well. That made me very sad. But we hear he's still happy and everyone loves him so I am a little comforted.

It really is like that, isn't it.

 

Bad karma

January 18th 2016 12:43 am
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Two days ago there was in the papers an award winning photo. It was of a monkey and his circus trainer approaching with a whip. At least that's what I gathered the photo was about. I refused to look, and so did fomfomfom, coz ah bee (fom's friend also mentioned it) that it was heart-breaking. The expression on the monkey's face was.

We feel very sad but that's how it is so that's how it is. Isn't everything?

 

Be like Xp

January 17th 2016 6:49 am
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This is Xp.

Xp does not have a food bowl because she makes everyone hand-feed her.

Xp is smart.

Be like Xp.

 

Taiwan

January 16th 2016 3:52 am
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Ah ma's favoured political party lost at the taiwan polls. She's going to be sad for the next 4 years. That's life.

Boi boi is learning how to fight for food and we hear that he told another mynah "1, 2, 3, 4" and then snatched its food. The strategy is obviously confuse and conquer.

He's a bit fat, we think.

 

BBC earth

January 15th 2016 3:43 am
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We saw on TV just now that a farmed chicken today takes only half the time to reach twice the size of a chicken in the 1950s. They pondered the information over their chicken wing dinner.

We also watched a wolf take down a bison and they exclaimed, "Look how easy you have it, xp!"

I told them to keep rubbing my belly.

 

Scam

January 14th 2016 4:36 am
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Today I honked again. So they brought me out and I got another 5 minute walk. But we don't know what's causing it so cha washed her air con filter and we'll see.

Ah bee went out and got accosted by a young guy who tried to sell her flags. But he said the minimum donation was $10 and ah bee was so offended that she gave him the third degree and got it out of him that he gets 20% of all the donations he gets.

How innovative. Someone call the police.

 
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