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Milo and more flowers

February 6th 2015 7:02 am
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Yesterday we promised Sammy we'd buy her milo ice cream today. We weren't sure if she'll remember but she sure did. We think she went down to play earlier just so she can be sure to catch us. So we got her and Benny ice cream and everyone is happy. We like them very much. They are nice children.

Ah ma went out and bought more flowers. She was chatting with the florist and she told the lady these are my daughters, pointing at fomfomfom and ah bee. Then she said they are both lawyers and the florist said, "Wow how did you grow them?" in a florist punny kind of way. Fomfomfom only heard this bit and she thought the florist was complimenting her on her beauty and not her scholarly achievements. You should have seen how pumped up she was. Well I wasn't there but that's what ah bee said.

Anyhow, another stalk of ah ma's chrysanthemums broke today. We expect to see it scotch taped back tomorrow.


My brother Butters

February 5th 2015 6:23 am
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Today my ah yi mama showed ah bee a picture of my brother Butters. I'd not seen him since we were a month old. We always thought he looked a mess. It turns out he looks exactly like me!

Ah bee did a double take when she saw the pic; isn't that my xp, she thought. Oh no, it was Butters. And his haircut is like mine too, except that his is professional and mine is ratty. Ah bee keeps telling me "same same" and jabbing at the pic on her phone. Then she wondered if we were twins. I wish she'd get over it.

It's nice to see a pic of my brother though.



February 4th 2015 3:53 am
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Today, today we met Sammy. She was eating milo ice cream. A few days ago, she was drinking milo. We decided that's why she's so stout. And her future looks bleak. Nevertheless, we extracted 4 kisses from her, coz she makes us very happy. She didn't share the ice cream.

And we heard from Nom yen's mummy that supernut is being bullied in school and at the tuition centre. Mummy wanted to leave him to defend himself coz she can't look after him forever, but he's too polite to fight back.

We did say he's such a polite boy.



February 3rd 2015 7:03 am
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Fomfomfom cut my hair yesterday and today. She told everyone that I was very difficult that's why she couldn't cut my hair properly. That's just her excuse because it's so ratty this time even I feel embarrassed for her. But it's okay. It's only hair. It will grow out in two days and no one will know I have a bald patch above my right eye.



February 2nd 2015 7:23 am
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We were wondering about the empty snail shells we see lying around. Where did the snails go, ah bee wondered aloud. Her boyfriend said, eaten by birds, he supposed.

When ah bee recounted this conversation to fomfomfom, it was like an earthquake. Of course, fomfomfom exclaimed. Why didn't I think of that, she marveled. What perfect sense.

And we learnt fomfomfom thought the snails had gathered up their skirts and moved houses whenever the fancy took them, seeing there were so many empty houses around.

I guess it's not entirely implausible.


Ah ma's purple thumb

February 1st 2015 6:54 am
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So that day ah ma bought many pots of flowers. On their way back, two branches of orchids snapped but they didnt completely break off. We told ah ma we should just snap them off coz we don't see the point in leaving them hanging.

Ah ma told us not to worry; she knows what to do.

Yesterday we went out and saw that she scotch taped the branches back.

We thought her gardening methods are so unorthodox but what do we know right.



January 31st 2015 3:43 am
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I honked twice and ah bee immediately brought me downstairs. I didn't honk anymore after that and everyone was happy. Only it was 330 and we decided to make it my evening walk. It was kinda hot. We went home at 610 and I told ah ma they were trying to starve me. Ah ma agreed.

Coffee's mother asked ah bee if she'd grown since she last saw us. Fomfomfom said we've all grown fatter but no one's grown taller.

I guess she didn't know ah bee is 30, not 12.



January 30th 2015 7:29 am
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Cha disappeared this morning with her luggage.I didn't want to be a stowaway because I heard ah ma was going to buy me suckling pig.

Only she didn't. Turns out the suckling pig stall has gone out of business. I got some roasted meat instead. It was not bad. They also came back with 9 pots of flowers. Ah ma says she wants to buy more next week. Luckily our balcony is big.

They thought I might be feeling a little unwell so they decided to test me with ah bee's smelly towel. She has 3 smelly towels that she keeps on her bed. I think they must be like 20 years old. There's one I tore years ago in the shape of a cross. She gave me another one to play with just now and I went at it. There were little pieces of cloth on the floor after I was done. Ah bee says it's okay at least now we know she's feeling alright. I think she's putting on a brave front but I don't feel bad. She's much too old to have security anythings anyway.

I was doing her a favour.


Currencies and commodities

January 29th 2015 5:13 am
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Turns out fomfomfom was exaggerating when she said the money in my shoebox is worthless; it's only gone down about 1% against the greenback. Still I think it's too risky holding all this fiat money so I'm going to change it for something real, like commodities.

I told ah ma to take all the money in my shoebox and buy suckling pig with it. Then I will put all the pig in my stomach.

Can't get more real than that.


Up in smoke

January 28th 2015 5:39 am
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Today they told me that the Singapore government has depreciated our currency and that my shoebox is now worthless.

I'm very sad.

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