The Z Files

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Bored, nothing to do

January 27th 2008 4:57 pm
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It's been so cold and windy lately. Today it was warmer but the snowstorm made our internet go out. So I haven't be able to write in my diary for awhile. We haven't been doing much anyway.
Of course, yesterday we were having hambones from Christmas and Drover bit Mommy. No reason, he just decided to bite her. I think she made a mistake by giving him a bone in the first place. All the bones are really mine.
We got a stinkin' new leash. Since Daddy is the only one taking us for walks lately he wanted a way to "control" us better than with each of us on our own leash. This leash has a place on the end for Drover and for me. We have to walk kinda close to each other. Drover is always stopping to sniff and pee and I nearly get watered each time. We got wrapped around a mailbox post yesterday. Daddy had to untangle us.
Daddy has been letting us off the leash on the way home! Don't tell Mommy, she would have a hissy fit if she knew. But it is so much fun! Freedom! We listen to Daddy pretty good if he calls us back. We start going faster and faster the closer we get to home. Then he tricks us by going past our house and we get to go a little further before we turn back to go home. There is nothing like running and having the wind blow your ears backwards.
On the days when it has been almost too cold to play outside, we play a lot inside with brother. I get my big long braidy and we play and play. He even drags me down the hall. I don't even get rug burns on my tummy. Sometimes brother will twirl me around while I hold big braidy in my mouth. That is fun but we don't do that for long. It's hard to hold onto with my teeth.
Mommy's knees have been hurting a lot so she lays down on her bed for a nap most days. There is some nice sun that shines right on her bed. It is a great place for me to snooze. I like to take a bone up there sometimes. I don't think she likes that so much to have me chewing right next to her legs. She tells me to take the bone off the bed.
There hasn't been so much to bark at lately. The big brown truck doesn't come as often as it did when we had the Christmas tree up. Sometimes the mailman pulls in. We have to bark up a storm at him.
I will be glad when the weather warms up and the snow melts. We don't get to play much outside with our Jolly balls. I mean, we do get to play, just not for long.
We are starting to get fuzzy. Time for hairshrinks soon. I like being fuzzy, it brings out my cuteness. My family says my face looks like a sea urchin. My moustache sticks out in all directions. Heehee.
So you can see how boring it has been around here. I will try to write more in my diary even though there is just not a lot to say. Sigh.


I need a new typist

January 24th 2008 9:22 am
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OK, so it has been boring around here lately but Mommy won't even write anything in my diary for me. Boo hoo, her knees have been really hurting.
So? I have watched her, she has never once typed with her knees.


That is just wrong

January 18th 2008 1:58 pm
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So I like to bark. I see things, I hear things. I Need to bark.

I overheard Mommy talking to brother what they could use to stick my mouth closed. Brother suggested peanut butter and bubble gum.


Enough already

January 16th 2008 2:33 pm
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Yikes, Drover is acting all noble and humble and junk. "Oh, no, don't give me anymore rosettes, pups. I am much better today."
Oh, pul-eese. I say go for it. Bark it out! Get those goodies!
I did my fair share to help Mommy yesterday. I am not usually a very kissy face pup, I would rather bite Drover. But I knew Mommy was upset. She sat down on the couch and I just decided to cheer her up, the Zoe way. I hopped into her lap and wiggled around and kissed her, over and over again until she started laughing. I didn't even use my teeth.
I mean, Drover isn't the only sensitive one around here.


Just trying to do my job

January 10th 2008 2:26 pm
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There are about a gazillion Canada geese in the field across from my house. They are over there milling around and it is just not right. I can see them from my loveseat lookout. I gotta bark at them! Somepup has got to do something about this.
I keep getting hollered at to "be quiet" and "Zoe, that's enough" and they even squirt me with a water bottle.
Cindy and Drover aren't getting too involved. I am the only one who sees this deal as a threat.
Gotta go outside to bark more.


The Secret Codes of Barking

January 9th 2008 11:52 am
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Hey everypup! I'm here today to tell you a little bit about a complex system of barks that we have here at the house, designed to alert each other of intruders. While the humans only hear the barking we hear something quite different.
I have three possible scenarios that happen fairly often, translated from our barking.
Scenario #1
Zoe: "This is BarkBox 1 requesting backup! We have a renegade jogger out here! All units respond, over!"
Drover: "This is MomWatcher 1, on my way, over!"
Cindy: "This is CatGazer 1, we're coming BarkBox, over."
At this point, the other units rush outside and we join together at the fence to give our standard barking chant.
All: "Attention! You have breached the premises of this household! Withdraw at once!"
We then continue this until the target is far out of sight.
The target may vary, ranging from joggers to the mailman, but the threat is very real.

Scenario #2
Zoe: "This is BarkBox 1, threat level currently unknown, standby for further instructions! Over."
This is one of those times when one of us goes outside and barks, but does not rouse the rest of the units.

Scenario #3
Zoe: "This is BarkBox 1, requesting backup! We have a situation out here... I think. All units report, over!"
The other units proceed to burst out of the house barking out warnings. We rush to the fence and find that it was all a false alarm. To be on the safe side, we issue a couple more warnings, then continue with our daily lives.


The saga continues

January 7th 2008 1:57 pm
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So my nice, soft, comfy green pillow is still barfy smelling. I could probably live with it, but Mommy is being way too smell sensitive. I for sure don't want to have to sleep on an ugly rag rug. I could tear it up pretty easy.
So Mommy tells me since she has to go to town for brother's eye exam, she will maybe look at Wallyworld for a new pillow for me. I mean, this is an emergency. It should be a shopping priority to find me a new bed! And if Wally world doesn't have one, she should drive the hunerd miles to Petco. I am worth it, and I need a soft, nice smelling pillow in my box. My pal Jelly reminded me that I am a Diva dog. I sure need to keep reminding people about that.
Well, I did get a new pillow! No, I didn't get the cute pink or purple one, they said I would tear it up. Ok, so I can live with the fact that it is a people bed pillow. I did get a nice soft flannel pillowcase. It fits in my box and it is smooshy the way I like my box to be.
They even had the nerve to tell me not to throw up in the box anymore or it's back to the ugly rag rug.


I won't sleep on a rag rug

January 6th 2008 9:17 pm
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Ok, so my box got aired out and brought back inside. My fluffy green pillow bed has been washed a couple of times but it still smells like barf. So all I get in my box is a rag rug. It's an ugly gray brown color. I guess Mommy doesn't care if I mess it up. I slept in my box last night with the ugly rug and I didn't like it. It is not comfy. Tonight at bedtime I went in my box like a good pup. But I started whimpering. Finally Mommy took the hint and brought a little fuzzy pillow for me. She still wrapped the rag rug around the fuzzy pillow. It is much more comfy in my box now. I want my nice smooshy pillow back for tomorrow night. Mommy just needs to wash it again.


Now I am naked but fluffy

January 5th 2008 12:48 pm
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This is so embarrassing! I am naked and they've posted a picture on my page! heehee. At least they've blacked out my naked place.
I survived my bath! Mommy and sister washed me in the bathtub. They said I did a good job. They started laughing because for some reason, they could style my ears! However Mommy would put them, they would stay that way. Up, bent over, back. I don't know why they were doing that.
After the bath, they used sister's blow dryer thingie and now I am nice and fluffy. But since my collar smelled bad too Mommy washed it. It is still too wet to wear so I am snoozing naked!
I survived my first at home bath! I just hope I won't have to be an outside dog. My box is still out there.


I may be banished to the Outside!

January 5th 2008 11:03 am
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Well, Mommy just put my box out on the woodpile. I really don't want to be an outside pup!
Last night after I went to bed in my box I whimpered quite a bit. Usually I am very quiet after I go to bed. Mommy let me out and I went tinkle outside. Then she made me go back in my box. Daddy has been gone a couple of days and when he got home late last night, Drover and I got to get out to greet him. That's when Mommy discovered I had barfed in my box. That's what I was trying to tell her!
She sprayed some stuff in my box and removed my pillow and replaced it with a rug. This morning she washed my pillow again but it still smells like barf. It's now hanging outside on the clothesline to air. And my box is outside.
Here's the worst part, they are talking about giving me a bath! They say I smell like barf! I have never had a bath here at home. Sister has a blow dryer thing and the clothes dryer is in the basement. Or will they hang me out on the clothesline to dry? It's cold out there!
I will try to write in my diary pups, but I am just not sure how this deal may turn out.

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