The Z Files

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It Is Brain Surgery

August 16th 2008 10:57 am
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Drover made my red-headed Skinneez duck have to go for brain surgery.
Yep, I was chewing on a bone and he was chewing on my duck. He is so quiet and sneaky about his chewing. Before Mommy knew what was going on, he had chewed a hole in my duck's head.
Surgeon Mommy whisked my duck to the operating room, a.k.a. our kitchen. I could kinda see my poor duck up there on the operating counter.
He stayed up there for awhile until Mommy could start the operation. I was nervously waiting for my duck.
Would he pull through?
Mommy is a great brain surgeon! I never knew that! My duck has a kinda funny scar on top of his head but he still quacks.
I am not gonna let Drover play with anymore of my toys.

 

Harry and Fuzzy

August 11th 2008 12:57 pm
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Mommy had been talking to some other pups around here the past week or two. She would call out, "hey, Harry and Fuzzy! You want a cookie?". Of course, when we hear the word "cookie" we all come a-running. I would look around to see these new pups. Never did see them.
We would be outside playing with my Jolly balls and Mommy would say, "go get it Harry" or "it's over there, Fuzzy." I was beginning to think Mommy was seeing things, like in that movie "The Sixth Sense".
She was loosing her marbles, ya know?
Well, I am a smart pup. I figured this deal out. Mommy called our groomer lady this morning. A couple of hours later, we are in the truck on our way for hair shrinks.
Meet the new pups: FuzzyZoe and HairyDrover.

 

I am so good

August 9th 2008 3:39 pm
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I am a good girl. I hope they appreciate me around here.
Daddy was working out in the garage. He came in and asked Mommy to help move the other cars around. Mommy went out of the gate first and Daddy didn't make sure the gate was closed!
Mommy moved the vehicles around and then talked with Daddy for a bit while he was working. When she came back to our yard, the gate was OPEN!
There was Cindy, laying under the lilac, there was good little me waiting at the open gate.
But where was Drover? Daddy started calling "Drover!" and looking in the front yard.
Mommy started to panic but came inside the house to check on "her boy". Yep, there was Drover. He hadn't even been outside while the gate was open.
I am the good dog. I wait at the open gate. I never make Mommy panic.

 

I got the shakes

August 3rd 2008 7:04 am
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Did I scare you? I am ok. The shakes I got are good shakes!
Very tasty, yummy shakes!
Daddy was working on the outside water faucet the other evening. He needed one more part to get it fixed. He had to run to town for the part. Well, he didn't run, he drove a car.
Anyhoo, when he came back he had gotten treats for us. Shakes from a yummy drive-in place in town. Well, shakes for the 4 peeps.
Mommy actually got bowls for us and gave us some of her shake. Wow, those were yummy!
Then Daddy had his shake outside on the patio and let us lick the plastic lid from his shake after he poured some on for me and then Drover.
See, I got the shakes! I hope I get them again, soon.

 

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

July 31st 2008 12:25 pm
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What a great morning! A great morning to bark!
First of all, we had a bike rider. She went past one way. Then she must have liked us barking so much that she came back by. I mean, she could have gone around the block and not back by our house.
Our block is only 4 miles around.
A little while after the bike rider, we had our neighborhood jogger go by. By this time, Mommy was out back watering some little trees. She would holler at us. Couldn't quite hear her. Don't know what she was yelling about. Then our jogger buddy came back by on his way home.
I guess we got a two-fer bonus this morning! We even got a guy riding a horse and a little dog running along with him. Wow, bark it up, huh?
When Mommy came back from watering her little trees, she was kinda singing a little song. It went something like this:
"Just you wait, Zoe Schnauzer, just you wait." I remember the tune from some old movie about a fair lady. Mommy was using a funny English accent when she sang.
I don't know what she was singing about. She is losing it.

 

I Am Not!

July 27th 2008 8:22 am
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So Mr. Drover is acting like a smarty pants now. He claims he got a Skinneez Duck from my pal Jelly. It looks just like My Skinneez Duck but 'cept the heads are different colors. Those are my toys, both of them. He gets the duck with the green head and I need that duck. It is mine. He takes the duck with the red head and I need that duck. It is mine. And Mommy sides with Mr. Smarty Pants Drover. She makes me let him have the duck with the green head. My duck with the green head.
Mommy says I am like the Aesop's fable about the Dog and his bone.
I am not. There is nothing the same about that story. You can read it here and decide:

The Dog and His Reflection

A Dog, to whom the butcher had thrown a bone, was hurrying home with his prize as fast as he could go. As he crossed a narrow footbridge, he happened to look down and saw himself reflected in the quiet water as if in a mirror. But the greedy Dog thought he saw a real Dog carrying a bone much bigger than his own.

If he had stopped to think he would have known better. But instead of thinking, he dropped his bone and sprang at the Dog in the river, only to find himself swimming for dear life to reach the shore. At last he managed to scramble out, and as he stood sadly thinking about the good bone he had lost, he realized what a stupid Dog he had been.

Moral Lesson : "It is very foolish to be greedy."

 

The Silence of the Schnauzers

July 25th 2008 2:25 pm
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Oh, woe is me. Woe to Drover and Cindy. Woe to all dogs who come near my house.
My pal, Lexie, barked about some ultra-sonic (read: satanic) evil anti-bark device. Her Mom has ordered one. My Mom found something like them on the internet.
No citronella collar for each of us, at 50 bucks a piece. No, this evil device will work on any dog that barks. Any dog, simply trying to do his/her duty of protecting their hearth and home and food and toys. For about the price of one citronella collar this evil device will work on all barking dogs.
I am doomed.

 

Wrong

July 25th 2008 6:08 am
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Drover claims to have gotten a package in the mail yesterday. A package from My pal, Jelly.
Wrong. I tried to get my Sister to scratch out Drover's name and write my name on the package. Jelly's mommy made a mistake. It must be for me.
Mommy and Sister did open the package and look in.
Mommy told me it was a anti-bark, citronella collar. For me.
If it really is a citronella collar, Drover can have it.

 

I'm Good

July 21st 2008 10:40 am
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Yep, I have survived the home made kibble experiment. I am up and running, barking, playing, all the normal stuff. That stuff tastes good! I think Mommy made us cookies and we are getting the meal-sized portion!
Cool!
We am still being observed for any signs of problems, you know, bad stuff coming out anywhere.
So far, so good.

 

Lab Rat Zoe

July 19th 2008 2:49 pm
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This may be the last time I will be able to post anything in my diary. I may soon expire. *gulp*
I will be eating an experiment for my next meal. I have become Mommy's lab rat, her guinea pig. Mommy made us home made kibble today. I watched from my place under the kitchen table as she put whirled turkey, turkey juice, eggs, brown rice, rye flour and some oatmeal in her big mixer machine. She smeared the stuff on baking sheets and it baked and baked and baked. Finally it was cooked. I waited until it was cool enough.
Drover and I have already had a sample of the stuff. It does taste good. All this mixing and baking had me thinking Mommy was baking us a batch of doggie cookies. She told us it is our food. That means we will get a bowlful of the experiment for our next meal.
I heard Mommy tell Daddy that this was an experiment. Is it illegal to use your very own cute Mini Schnauzer for lab experiments?
Please contact some kind of authority if you don't hear from me again.

 
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