Demon Flash Bandit: Observer

I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Fizzy and Lucky Isabella, for being diary picks at dogster HQ. I am always proud to see my pals chosen as diary picks.

This diary will have to be short. The humans next door are having new siding put on their house, and I have to hang out at the window and supervise. You know how incompetent the humans can be if a dog isn't watching their every move. I know many dogs would bark at them, but I am very quiet. I feel that "stealth mode" makes more sense when watching the humans. Otherwise, they will know I'm watching and will try to stop me from seeing how they are actually doing the job. So far, they have my approval, but I will be watching until they are done. This dog does not trust the competence of any of the humans--except my humans. They are okay because I have taught them well.

Demon Flash Bandit (Observer)

Pigs: Walking Bacon!

I am going to share a bedtime story with my pals today, but stay awake until it is done because it is a great story.
Once upon a time, a dog left home to go to the supermarket to get some bacon. The dog loved bacon, and could never get enough of it. On the way to the supermarket, the dog met a pig. The dog was shocked to realize just how "bacony" that pig smelled. The pig started bragging about how pigs are bacon so the dog ate him. The pig was right. He tasted like the bacon kind of bacon, and he was delicious. Wasn't that a heart warming story?

Demon Flash Bandit (Relating Bedtime Tales)

I'm a Diary Pick Today!!!!

I would like to conpawtulate my pals, Fizzy, Zoe, and Demon Flash Bandit for being chosen as diary picks on dogster today. Yes, I am a diary pick which is good because after they didn't choose my diary Friday, Feb. 22 when I shared the CIA report of the dog who captured Osama Bin Laden, I was ready to write a "conspiracy at dogster HQ" entry in which dogster HQ was trying to keep dogs from reading about the CIA dog. I think it is lousy that the humans try to take credit when the dog was the helicopter pilot, the first one into the compound, and the one who shot Bin Laden with his special doggy gun that was made for him so that he could be the one who shot the bad guy. The humans were all standing around saying, "what should we do?", and the dog said, "don't worry humans, I got this". Let's face it, when dealing with the humans, isn't that always the way it works? I do want to add one thing about the movie, Zero Dark Thrity, and that is the part when they went to Area 51 (supposedly to get some special helicopters), but I know it was to check with the aliens there to make sure that the mission would be okay. When I saw area 51, I was thinking, this movie is going a whole new direction, and I think it would have been interesting to show them chatting with the space aliens.

I want to thank my pals, Hershey and Winkie for sending me the blue ribbon for my cabinet. I have a third cabinet filled now, and I will have to go out shopping for a fourth one for all my wonderful gifts!!! I want to thank Zaidie for the steak and for the "vending machine" filled with bacon. That has to be the greatest invention of all times. Push a button, get bacon. I know a dog had to come up with the idea for that machine!!! By the way, yes, it is the bacon kind of bacon! Coincidentally, I thought about writing a diary entry on bacon, but chose to write on a news topic instead. I can only add that bacon is always a good topic of conversation!

How am I going to spend my diary pick day? I am going to eat a lot of bacon, do some napping, and call and thank the CIA dog for letting me have the scoop....and for putting a piece of bacon in the scoop!

Demon Flash Bandit (Diary Pick Today)

Chuchi: Looks Like Buscemi, Depp, or a Dog?

Conpawtulations to my pal, MrJackFreckles Sir Licks-A-Lot for having his diary chosen as a diary pick on dogster today! I'm amazed that mine was not chosen since I scooped the media and had the CIA dog's report who captured Osama Bin Laden. I guess dogster doesn't appreciate fine journalism when they see it. I thought that should have received a Pulitzer Prize for dog journalism. I'm guessing that dogster HQ will turn it in for that prize.

Now onto another news item that annoyed this dog. According to the Internet, some dogs have human faces, and one dog in particular named Chuchi is supposed to look like the actor, Steve Buscemi. Additionally, his humans say he acts like a grumpy old man. How do they expect him to act when the humans are saying he looks like Steve Buscemi? I chatted with Chuchi, and he thinks he looks like Johnny Depp. Pawsonally, I don't see the resemblence myself, and my opinion is the only one that matters to me. Here is the link so that you can judge for yourself.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/20/chuchi -dog-with-human-face-steve-buscemi-grumpy-old-man_n_2724597. html?ref=topbar

Let me know what you think...Johnny Depp, Steve Buscemi, or not human looking at all. I vote dog myself. Chuchi is cute and does not need to be compared to the stupid humans!

Demon Flash Bandit (Voting Dog)

CIA Dog Report on Finding Osama Bin Laden

Yesterday my humans went to see the movie, Zero Dark Thirty, which is a movie about the capture of Osama Bin Laden. This movie was okay, but I will warn you that it does get boring. The movie mainly centers on some CIA operatives. Finally, near the end of the movie, there is a dog. In my opinion, this movie would have been a lot better had they focused on the dog sooner in the movie. I have managed to get the CIA written report turned in by the dog, and I will share it with my readers now:

I Fly in Helicopter
I Find Osama Bin Laden
Osama Bin Laden is a Bad Guy!
I bite Osama Bin Laden.
Osama Bin Laden taste bad.
He tastes like disgusting diaper.
Thank dog I've had my rabies shots.
I need water to get rid of the flavor.
Humans say I'm a good dog.
I know I'm a good dog.
I don't need the humans to tell me that!
I want some steak!

Remember, you read the doggy CIA report here first!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing CIA Dog Report)

"You Can't Fix Stupid" (Ron White)

I am going to share the latest in the saga of Peaches, the police dog who was forced to turn in a written police report about a suspect he arrested. The humans "at the top" did not appreciate the report being written by a dog even though they didn't seem to mind the dog catching their suspect instead of the humans doing the job. Therefore, Peaches has another police report to turn in which Peaches was kind enough to share with me before it hits the Internet.

Police at HQ mad because Peaches is a dog who filed a police report.

Peaches did the work, but lazy, stupid humans want to take credit for dog's work.

Peaches decided to teach humans at HQ a lesson.

Peaches chased humans at HQ.

Peaches tried to bite the stupidity out of the humans.

Humans tasted bad.

Stupidity still there.

Good dog Peaches.

Good dog--some humans will always be stupid!

Pawprint!!!

Good going Peaches--you are truly a good dog!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (To Quote Ron White, "You can't fix stupid")

Humans Being Stupid Nothing New

I wrote a story yesterday about Peaches, the police dog, who had to write a police report about a human he arrested in the line of duty. This was written because the people "at the top" could not seem to grasp the concept that the person was caught by a dog. Evidently, the people at the top didn't care for the report, and they are annoyed at the people who wrote it. I think that the real reason they are annoyed is that it made them look stupid because they insisted on paperwork from a dog. I think they should just accept the laughter and get on with their lives. They looked stupid because they were being stupid. Now they just sound like a bunch of cry babies with no sense. You'd think after all these years of being stupid, the humans would know how to handle their stupidity and let "sleeping dogs lie", or at least not do police reports.

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Are Stupid)

Canine Police Report by PC Peaches

For those who might have missed this gem of a news item that was on the web yesterday, I am sharing it with you:
http://jonathanturley.org/2013/02/18/i-chase-him-i-bit e-him-english-officers-under-investigation-for-dog-witness-s tatement/
A canine police dog in England, PC Peaches, caught a bad guy, and the humans at their headquarters wanted a written report from the arresting officer. Evidently, they did not understand that the arresting officer, PC Peaches, is a dog. I don't know why this is so hard for them to grasp...a bad guy was caught, so the officer being a dog should not be so hard to understand. If the officer was a human, I doubt that the arrest would have been made. Sure, the officer might have chased the bad guy, but I doubt that the officer would have bitten the bad guy. Anyway, this site has the report and the pawprint of PC Peaches. If you haven't seen it, be sure and go to the site. My humans thought it was hilarious! I think it is just another example of a dog doing the humans' work and then having the humans being annoying about "paperwork".

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Police Report by PC Peaches)

Bunnies Are Not Guilty!!!!

I would like to thank Mini Mischeif and Rudy for the rose on my page today. I always appreciate the wonderful gifts I get from my pals. I want to conpawtulate my pal, Izzy, for being chosen as a diary pick today!!!

For those who might have missed this news item about the rabbits attacking the cars parked at the Denver airport, http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/16/16988299-bunnies- invade-denver-airport-nibble-on-car-cables?lite&ocid=msnhp&p os=6
The humans are trying to get rid of the bunnies because they are chewing wires in the cars and costing the humans money. I think the bunnies are being framed by rodents because an animal as cute as a bunny can't be responsible for doing anything bad...it just isn't possible!!! I'm quite sure that the rabbits were just burrowing through the Earth, and happened to take a wrong turn at Albequerque. This happens a lot with rabbits as documented by Bugs Bunny when it happened to him. I'm sure that, if the humans had the good sense to bring in some dogs instead of the birds, they would get a more accurate assessment of the situation. Many dogs will eat rabbits, but most of them will also take care of any rats or mice that are trying to make the rabbits look guilty.

Demon Flash Bandit (Defending Denver Rabbits)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

Thanks to the dogs at dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick yesterday. I should have been able to write a blog yesterday, but my humans went to see a movie and took FOREVER to get back home!!! I want to conpawtulate my pal, Harley Diva-Girl-CGC Therapy dog for being chosen as dog of the week. Good Girl Harley!!!

I want to thank Milo, Hobo, Luna, and Jenny for the heart on my page. I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon that I will be adding to my cabinet--like all my other ribbons from my pals.

I got a lot of hearts filled with candy, and I want to thank everyone who sent me one. Thanks go out to all these pals of mine:
1. Randi, Margo, Sadie-Luv You Forever, and Casey
2. Louie, Bella, and Miller
3. Zoe
4. Scooter, Misty, Mr. Cutter, and Pepper
5. Whitley
6. Mr. Jack Freckles-Licks a Lot
7. Cairo
8. Emmy
9. Pepper, CGC
10. Cookie, Riley, Rosie, and Calleigh
11. Holly, Xena, Zak, Howard Jr, and family
12. Dorothy and Lucky Isabella
13. Ebony Ursula
14, Robin Hood OMD
15. Redford, Cooper, 2 Tundra, DG#6, Manytoes, and family
16. Zeus
17. Petey
18. Abbie and Family
19. Jenny
20. Anonymous

In fact, Randi, Margo, Sadie-Luv you Forever, and Casey sent me 2 boxes as did Cairo. Redford, Cooper, Tundra, DG#6, Manytoes and family also sent me 2 boxes which was great because a dog can never get too many treats.

After all that typing, my paws are tired so I'll continue writing tomorrow. Do you know what is best about Valentine's Day? Yes, it is the treats. I hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Valentine's Day Dog)