Close X

 

Adventures of a lead dog

(Page 6 of 225: Viewing Diary Entry 51 to 60)  
[First 10 Diary Entries] Page Links:  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  [Last 10 Diary Entries]  

I Don't Give Tummy Ribs!

June 6th 2014 11:36 am
[ View A Comments (2) ]

I'd like to thank Hershey and Van Winkie for the blue ribbon on my page. I would also like to thank Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot for the balloons he sent.

In my last blog, I mentioned my song to Angel Zoom Smokey telling her to "move, bitch, get out of the way" which is highly appropriate for her since she is officially a "bitch". Isn't that what you call a girl dog? You'd think the human women would be flattered to be referred to in that way since girl dogs are so cute. Today I was trying to get past her, and I gave her my usual song and dance; and as usual, it did not work. She didn't move. Not only did she not move, she wanted me to give her a tummy rub. When did a dog get the idea that another dog would give a tummy rub. That is something that can only be used on humans who are dumb enough to waste time doing it. However, if the humans want to give me a tummy rub, that is a constructive use of time.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Angel Zoom Smokey)

 

Enough Sir Nice Guy

June 5th 2014 12:35 pm
[ View A Comments (4) ]

I told Mommy to book me a cruise trip to Alaska since I am a diary pick today! I know most of the humans would book a trip to the Caribbean, but I prefer a nice, cold climate to one that is warm. I do admit that meeting Captain Jack Sparrow would be fun. I think we have a lot in common since we are both "heartthrobs" for women everywhere.

On a non-related subject, I heard a song that I have to tell you about. It is officially a rap song so I'm sure a lot of the older humans aren't familiar with it, but it is a wise song. It goes: "move bitch, get outta the way" I have been barking this to Angel Zoom Smokey since she was a puppy. In fact, I think I should be contacting a lawyer because I bet those humans stole it from me! I hope Whitley has the time to take on my case. I would prefer a Harvard lawyer.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Whose Ideas Were Stolen)

 

I Don't Believe It!

June 2nd 2014 9:24 am
[ View A Comments (2) ]

The whole "puppy" situation with Angel Zoom Smokey is getting ridiculous. Now she is having 3 million puppies. I don't think that is physically possible; but, as usual, the humans are so gullible they fall for it. If they were dogs, they would never believe her story. We dogs are much too smart for that sort of thing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not Gullible Like Humans)

 

Angel Zoom Smokey: Smarter Than I Thought

May 31st 2014 8:43 pm
[ View A Comments (2) ]

I would like to thank Dogster for choosing me as a diary pick of the day on May 29. As usual, it was a great honor, and I thank HQ for thinking of me. I also want to thank Hershey and Ven Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent to me. Jack Freckles-Sir-Licks-A-Lot sent me balloons, and so did Walker and family. I Always appreciate the thoughtful gifts from my pals.

Today I want to conpawtulate my pals, Lucky Isabella, Mr. Freckles-Sir-Licks-A-Lot, and Anya for having their diaries chosen as diary picks today!!!

In my last diary entry, I mentioned how Angel Zoom Smokey has managed to find a way to get extra food by telling the humans that she is going to have 300 puppies. Now she tells them she is going to have 3,000. I know that sounds like a ridiculous amount, but she is getting more food so it works. I wonder if the humans will believe I'm having puppies too. I can use some extra treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Angel is Onto Something)

 

Three Hundred Puppies

May 23rd 2014 7:58 am
[ View A Comments ]

I think I have not given Angel Zoom Smokey the credit she deserves for her ability to manipulate the humans around here. I do it with my looks, but she takes it to a whole new level. She has been on a feeding frenzy the past week. She is scoring extra chicken and all sorts of extra food (yesterday she got 3 extra hot dogs that were bought just for her). How has she accomplished this feat? She has told the humans that she is going to have puppies. I don't think she is, but you know how gullible the humans are about such things. She told them that she is having 300 puppies so she needs a piece of chicken for each puppy, and of course, another one for herself. She isn't getting 300 pieces, but she is getting 2 or 3 breasts every day plus some other food. The only thing that I have to say is if 300 puppies show up around here, I will not be puppy sitting. If Angel wants the extra food, she can watch the little pupsters. I'll be napping as usual.

Demon Flash Bandit (Doesn't Believe Angel Will Have 300 Puppies)

 

Three Hundred Puppies

May 23rd 2014 7:58 am
[ View A Comments (2) ]

Conpawtulations to my pal, Hershey, who is a diary pick today!

I think I have not given Angel Zoom Smokey the credit she deserves for her ability to manipulate the humans around here. I do it with my looks, but she takes it to a whole new level. She has been on a feeding frenzy the past week. She is scoring extra chicken and all sorts of extra food (yesterday she got 3 extra hot dogs that were bought just for her). How has she accomplished this feat? She has told the humans that she is going to have puppies. I don't think she is, but you know how gullible the humans are about such things. She told them that she is having 300 puppies so she needs a piece of chicken for each puppy, and of course, another one for herself. She isn't getting 300 pieces, but she is getting 2 or 3 breasts every day plus some other food. The only thing that I have to say is if 300 puppies show up around here, I will not be puppy sitting. If Angel wants the extra food, she can watch the little pupsters. I'll be napping as usual.

Demon Flash Bandit (Doesn't Believe Angel Will Have 300 Puppies)

 

People Dogs Hate

May 22nd 2014 9:23 am
[ View A Comments (2) ]

I'd like to thank dogster HQ for making me a diary pick a couple of days ago. I deliberately chose not update my diary because I wanted to leave the one that I announced my edict that no more dogs can cross over the bridge without my permission. I won't be giving my permission so there will be no more of this silly leaving for the bridge. I wish I had done it before my pals, Coco Rose and Charlie had crossed, but they were my inspiration for the rule! Now that you have read the diary (and be sure and share it with other dogs), we dogs will be hanging around a lot longer with our humans which is good because the humans need us! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they gave me. I always appreciate the special gifts from my friends, and I am fortunate to have so many of you. Thanks to all my pals on dogster. I am proud to be on here with you.

I have an item to share with you that I found on the "net" today. Here is the link:

https://shine.yahoo.com/pets/7-people-dog-hates-mos t-135500237.html

I want to add another to the list...the humans who go door to door to encourage other humans to attend their church. I have nothing against the humans going to church. However, until they allow dogs to attend also, only humans without dogs need to attend. Our humans leave us too much as it is, and they need to stay home more. I'm sure God wants them to stay with us, and feed us some bacon. I'm sure that the 12th commandment which was eaten by cats (why do you think so many dogs consider cats their enemies?) is: Do not eat bacon, but give it to your dog(s). It is the second commandment involving dogs. The eleventh one was: be sure you own a dog. Some humans try to live without dogs, and they live sad and lonely lives!

Demon Flash Bandit (Many Humans are Not Trustworthy and Dogs Know This)

 

People Dogs Hate

May 22nd 2014 9:23 am
[ View A Comments ]

I'd like to thank dogster HQ for making me a diary pick a couple of days ago. I deliberately chose not update my diary because I wanted to leave the one that I announced my edict that no more dogs can cross over the bridge without my permission. I won't be giving my permission so there will be no more of this silly leaving for the bridge. I wish I had done it before my pals, Coco Rose and Charlie had crossed, but they were my inspiration for the rule! Now that you have read the diary (and be sure and share it with other dogs), we dogs will be hanging around a lot longer with our humans which is good because the humans need us! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they gave me. I always appreciate the special gifts from my friends, and I am fortunate to have so many of you. Thanks to all my pals on dogster. I am proud to be on here with you.

I have an item to share with you that I found on the "net" today. Here is the link:

https://shine.yahoo.com/pets/7-people-dog-hates-mos t-135500237.html

I want to add another to the list...the humans who go door to door to encourage other humans to attend their church. I have nothing against the humans going to church. However, until they allow dogs to attend also, only humans without dogs need to attend. Our humans leave us too much as it is, and they need to stay home more. I'm sure God wants them to stay with us, and feed us some bacon. I'm sure that the 12th commandment which was eaten by cats (why do you think so many dogs consider cats their enemies?) is: Do not eat bacon, but give it to your dog(s). It is the second commandment involving dogs. The eleventh one was: be sure you own a dog. Some humans try to live without dogs, and they live sad and lonely lives!

Demon Flash Bandit (Many Humans are Not Trustworthy and Dogs Know This)

 

My Pal Charlie Crossed Over the Bridge

May 20th 2014 10:29 am
[ View A Comments (5) ]

Yesterday I wrote with sadness about my friend, Coco Rose, crossing over the bridge. Today I learned that my friend, Charlie has also crossed over. I'm so sorry that Charlie has also crossed, and I am writing this diary to announce that, by order of Demon Flash Bandit, no other dogs are allowed to cross over the bridge. I don't like it when my pals leave, and I should have thought of passing this edict before so many have crossed. I'm glad I have solved yet another problem. Remember, no crossing over by order of Demon Flash Bandit--no exceptions!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Issuing Edicts)

 

My Pal Charlie Crossed Over the Bridge

May 20th 2014 10:29 am
[ View A Comments (2) ]

Yesterday I wrote with sadness about my friend, Coco Rose, crossing over the bridge. Today I learned that my friend, Charlie has also crossed over. I'm so sorry that Charlie has also crossed, and I am writing this diary to announce that, by order of Demon Flash Bandit, no other dogs are allowed to cross over the bridge. I don't like it when my pals leave, and I should have thought of passing this edict before so many have crossed. I'm glad I have solved yet another problem. Remember, no crossing over by order of Demon Flash Bandit--no exceptions!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Issuing Edicts)

 
  Sort By Oldest First

Demon Flash Bandit


 

Family Pets

Angel Zoom
Smokey

Subscribe

(What does RSS do?)