Adventures of a lead dog

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Eating Turkey and Napping

November 19th 2013 8:23 am
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Mommy wants me to thank the family of Randi, Margo, Sadie, Luv-You-Forever, and Casey for the paw and prayers you sent Mommy! Let's hope she can continue working for me. I'd hate to have to fire my own human mommy.

I didn't get around to writing a diary yesterday. You know how Mommy made that turkey for Angel Zoom Smokey and myself, We have been eating it for the past 2 days, and I think there is a third day's worth of meat on that bird. We were lucky we got one of the fatter birds because we both really pigged out on turkey meat! You are probably aware that Thanksgiving dinner makes the humans tired because of something in the turkey. I know it happened to me because I was going to write my diary (or actually dictate it to Mommy). I was so worn out, I just dropped over and fell asleep when I finished eating. It is official: a bird absolutely and positively kept me from posting a diary entry yesterday.
Yet another reason birds should die, and fortunately, a lot of turkeys will die in honor of Thanksgiving which is one of my favorite holidays!

Demon Flash Bandit (Hard at Work)

 

Sports Teams Named After Cats

November 17th 2013 10:25 am
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I want to conpawtulate several of my pals who are diary picks today. Those dogs are: Anya, Buddy, and Pepper.

It has come to my attention that 2 of the local sports teams: The Detroit Tigers and the Detroit Lions are named after big cats. Why would they name their teams such stupid names? Wouldn't Detroit Dogs, Detroit Wolves or Detroit Coyotes be a much more intimidating name for a sports team? Who are the Tigers and Lions supposed to scare? The mice in the audience? Since they have had those names for a very long time, I won't go on a mission to change the names, but the humans should have had more sense than to name them after cats in the first place. However, humans are so stupid, I guess they would never have the brain power to "think it out properly". If you have teams to name in the future, ask a dog his or her opinion! That way you'll get a sensible name.

Demon Flash Bandit (Waiting for my Turkey)

 

Turkey for Us Dogs

November 16th 2013 6:27 pm
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I would like to thank Dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick a couple of days ago. My secretary's health problems have been causing a problem with getting onto the computer to do my work. I think it is time for everyone to send prayers and power of the paw to keep her working for me, and not shirking her job like she has been doing the past couple of days! I want to thank my pals, Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they gave me for my honor. I have such a wonderful group of pals. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Ella for being chosen as a diary pick today!

Mommy no longer does much cooking because of her health problems, but she did put a big turkey in the oven today. The best thing about this turkey is that it is for Angel Zoom Smokey and myself. We won't get to eat it until tomorrow, but the house smells very good tonight.
If you ask my opinion (and you should), the humans should make turkeys for us more often. I think I'll get off the computer now, and dream of eating turkey. DELICIOUS!!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoys Turkey)

 

Demon Flash Bandit Underwear!

November 12th 2013 6:08 pm
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Thanks dogster for choosing my humble diary entry as a diary pick of the day. I think you chose it because we dogs aren't fond of snakes like some of the silly humans. Did you know some humans are even dumb enough to have snakes as pets? In my opinion, anyone who chooses a snake over a dog as a pet needs to be institutionalized for their own protection. I knew a dog once who tried gluing his fur that he didn't need anymore onto a snake to make him more cuddly. It did not work. It looks like a large furry worm, but the fish in the house got very excited. Fish think worms are gourmet food which means that fish don't usually eat very well.

This brings me to my topic for the day which is kind of strange since the topic has absolutely nothing in common with what I have been writing about up until now. This is a fashion observation so I'm sure all of my pals are going to be very excited to know my thoughts on fashion. I was sitting outside Walmart the other day which, for dogs who don't already know this, Walmart always draws people who dress in the height of fashion. There was this young guy walking in who seemed to have a problem with his pants. I'm not sure if he just couldn't decide whether to wear them or not since he looked like he had tried to put them on, but didn't go to much trouble to make sure they were on. The pants ended up hanging down around his knees. Anyway, I was about to make fun of how silly he looked until I had one of my genius ideas. I think he was hoping to buy a pair of underwear with my photo on it. It is the only logical reason I could think of that would make him wear his pants so low. I have had Demon Flash Bandit tshirts printed up. By the way, if any of you dogs are interested, let me know because Mommy can tell you how much they cost. They are printed on a per order basis so they are a little high, but I have told Mommy over and over that my photo on a tshirt is the most wonderful thing a human can wear! For those who might be interested, either contact me through dogster or at my email address: demonflashbandit@gmail.com.

I've got to go now....I think it is time for one of my new 3 meat dingo type bones. They are not dingo brand, but they are delicious!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fashionista Dog)

 

Snakes in a Church

November 11th 2013 5:18 pm
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Mommy came in yesterday with a new bed for Angel Zoom Smokey. Angel was so excited to get her own bed. I think it is silly since she usually sleeps in the same bed with Mommy, but I'm okay with her having her own bed although I do think that money would have been better spent on me. I can always use a new dingo bone!

I saw on the news today that a church in Tennessee had 50 venomous snakes confiscated by the state. The pastor of the church thinks it is unconstitutional, but this dog agrees with the state on this one. A movie studio is looking into making a new movie in the line of Snakes on a Plane which will be called Snakes in a Church. There will be no service dogs in the movie because we dogs have enough sense to stay away from snakes. The main problem with the movie in the works now is getting the pastor to say, "I'm tired of these m. f. snakes--you get the idea. There was a lot of cussing in that original movie. Of course, this dog would be cussing too is I were in a plane that was full of icky, stupid snakes!

Demon Flash Bandit (Snakes in a Church)

 

Snakes in a Church

November 11th 2013 5:18 pm
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Mommy came in yesterday with a new bed for Angel Zoom Smokey. Angel was so excited to get her own bed. I think it is silly since she usually sleeps in the same bed with Mommy, but I'm okay with her having her own bed although I do think that money would have been better spent on me. I can always use a new dingo bone!

I saw on the news today that a church in Tennessee had 50 venomous snakes confiscated by the state. The pastor of the church thinks it is unconstitutional, but this dog agrees with the state on this one. A movie studio is looking into making a new movie in the line of Snakes on a Plane which will be called Snakes in a Church. There will be no service dogs in the movie because we dogs have enough sense to stay away from snakes. The main problem with the movie in the works now is getting the pastor to say, "I'm tired of these m. f. snakes--you get the idea. There was a lot of cussing in that original movie. Of course, this dog would be cussing too is I were in a plane that was full of icky, stupid snakes!

Demon Flash Bandit (Snakes in a Church)

 

Television Show Review: Under the Dome

November 8th 2013 10:39 am
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The television show, Under the Dome, is okay for the humans, but I think us dogs would be happier watching reruns of good shows like Underdog. Speed of lightning, bolt of thunder. dog who is better than the humans--sorry, I got a little carried away thinking about THE UNDERDOG!!!!! Underdog happens to be a personal hero of mine, and of most dogs. The Under the Dome show starts out in the beginning showing birds flying around which is okay, but I personally don't enjoy watching birds on television. Of course (spoiler alert) some of the birds do die and that part is hilarious. I laughed and laughed and then hoped for more good television shows about birds dying. Anyway, if you want to let your humans watch this show, go ahead. However, I would suggest you push to see Underdog instead. It is clearly a better television show-ask any dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Pushing to Watch Underdog)

 

November 5th 2013 8:19 am
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I have neglected to mention how Halloween turned out around here. It was the best Halloween ever!!! We only had about 12 kids trick or treating. Every year I get annoyed watching my brothers giving out MY CANDY to total strangers. I have complained the about this every day of every year!!!

This proves that my letter writing campaign throughout the neighborhood was successful. Next year I plan to drop the letter from an airplane.

 

Movie Review, and Thanks for the Gifts!!!

November 3rd 2013 11:02 am
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I'm sorry I haven't had time to write for a couple of days. I don't think I have to explain how busy a dog's life can get!!! Napping alone takes up a great deal of my day!!!

I want to thank dogster for choosing my diary as a diary pick yesterday. I also want o conpawtulate my pal, Bella, for being the dog of the week pick this week. Thanks to Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon on my page. I'm sorry you two got sick on a cookie. I had a couple of wonderful peanut butter cookies (the human kind) which Mommy bought just for Angel and me last week, and they have never made me sick. That must be lousy when a dog can't grab a human cookie and enjoy it without getting sick. Human cookies are the best! I have a bunch of wonderful dancing skeletons on my page, and I appreciate them. I will try to list each one individually for a thank you tomorrow, but I'm in kind of a hurry today because I don't have a lot of time to write this entry.

My blog has a movie review of Captain Phillips, but I'm a bit suspicious that it might be the Free Birds movie review because it is a "guest" review. I didn't get to go to the theatre because it was "take a cat to the theatre day", and no self respecting dog wants to be at a theatre with hundreds of cats. A couple of cats are okay, but not hundreds!!! I banned the family from watching Free Birds, but you know how the humans are. For those who are interested in reading the review, my blog address is www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com

I've got to go now. I hope everyone is enjoying the cooler weather. I know I am!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

 

Happy Howloween!!!!!

October 31st 2013 9:36 am
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October is National Cookie Month so be sure and get your share of those cookies before the month is over. Don't let the humans eat your share!

In honor of Howloween, I have written about zombie birds in my blog today Be sure and check it out:
www.demonflashbandit.blogspot.com
Remember if you run into a zombie bird, chop its little bird head off. At least that part is fun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Wishing Readers a Happy Howloween)

 
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