Adventures of a lead dog

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People Dogs Hate

May 22nd 2014 9:23 am
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I'd like to thank dogster HQ for making me a diary pick a couple of days ago. I deliberately chose not update my diary because I wanted to leave the one that I announced my edict that no more dogs can cross over the bridge without my permission. I won't be giving my permission so there will be no more of this silly leaving for the bridge. I wish I had done it before my pals, Coco Rose and Charlie had crossed, but they were my inspiration for the rule! Now that you have read the diary (and be sure and share it with other dogs), we dogs will be hanging around a lot longer with our humans which is good because the humans need us! I also want to thank Hershey and Van Winkle for the blue ribbon they gave me. I always appreciate the special gifts from my friends, and I am fortunate to have so many of you. Thanks to all my pals on dogster. I am proud to be on here with you.

I have an item to share with you that I found on the "net" today. Here is the link:

https://shine.yahoo.com/pets/7-people-dog-hates-mos t-135500237.html

I want to add another to the list...the humans who go door to door to encourage other humans to attend their church. I have nothing against the humans going to church. However, until they allow dogs to attend also, only humans without dogs need to attend. Our humans leave us too much as it is, and they need to stay home more. I'm sure God wants them to stay with us, and feed us some bacon. I'm sure that the 12th commandment which was eaten by cats (why do you think so many dogs consider cats their enemies?) is: Do not eat bacon, but give it to your dog(s). It is the second commandment involving dogs. The eleventh one was: be sure you own a dog. Some humans try to live without dogs, and they live sad and lonely lives!

Demon Flash Bandit (Many Humans are Not Trustworthy and Dogs Know This)

 

My Pal Charlie Crossed Over the Bridge

May 20th 2014 10:29 am
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Yesterday I wrote with sadness about my friend, Coco Rose, crossing over the bridge. Today I learned that my friend, Charlie has also crossed over. I'm so sorry that Charlie has also crossed, and I am writing this diary to announce that, by order of Demon Flash Bandit, no other dogs are allowed to cross over the bridge. I don't like it when my pals leave, and I should have thought of passing this edict before so many have crossed. I'm glad I have solved yet another problem. Remember, no crossing over by order of Demon Flash Bandit--no exceptions!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Issuing Edicts)

 

My Pal Charlie Crossed Over the Bridge

May 20th 2014 10:29 am
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Yesterday I wrote with sadness about my friend, Coco Rose, crossing over the bridge. Today I learned that my friend, Charlie has also crossed over. I'm so sorry that Charlie has also crossed, and I am writing this diary to announce that, by order of Demon Flash Bandit, no other dogs are allowed to cross over the bridge. I don't like it when my pals leave, and I should have thought of passing this edict before so many have crossed. I'm glad I have solved yet another problem. Remember, no crossing over by order of Demon Flash Bandit--no exceptions!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Issuing Edicts)

 

Missing Coco Rose

May 19th 2014 11:43 pm
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I have put off writing this entry for a couple of days. Sometimes a sad event happens that even makes it difficult for my secretary to take my dictation. Another one of my friends has crossed over the bridge, and that friend was a shih tzu named Coco Rose. Coco Rose and I had been friends for quite a while and I will miss reading her diary. We dogs just don't get to spend enough time here on Earth with our humans. Yes, I know that we are happy when we cross over the bridge, but who is there to watch out for the humans when we are gone? We all know the humans are too stupid to take care of themselves. We can only hope they can find another dog to show them the way. However, a new dog can never replace that dog who has crossed over. In my life, I have had to say goodbye to my favorite human which is something most dogs never have to do, and I can tell you from my own experience, it is not easy. Therefore, my thoughts and prayers go out to the humans Coco left behind, her brother, Puffy, and her special friend, Hobo. I know I'll see Coco again, but it sure would be nice if Coco never left!

Demon Flash Bandit (Mourning the Loss of Coco Rose)

 

Angel's Planting Eggplant

May 14th 2014 8:14 am
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Thanks to dogster HQ for choosing my dairy as a diary pick today. I also want to conpawtulate my pal, Sir Freckles-Licks-A-Lot for also being chosen.

I do not eat eggs, but Angel Zoom Smokey loves them. She is outside now planting some eggplant seeds. She says she plans to grow her own eggs so that she can enjoy them anytime she is in the mood. I don't think that eggplant is actually eggs, but I'm not going to tell her. Why ruin her fun digging her garden?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Does Not Eat Eggs)

 

Can Dogs Buy Vodka?

May 13th 2014 8:23 am
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I recently wrote a diary about the ads to the side of the diary I'm writing. That day it was for some hair product for dyed hair (aimed at the humans). I suggested that advertising human stuff on dogster might not be a good idea since we dogs are the ones reading the diary entries. I doubt that the humans even know how to read. My entry must have had some impact because todaqy it is for vodka. I have never drank vodka, but I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I have noticed that it is very popular among the humans so it is probably good. I just hope there is no law against a dog buying it since I think it is illegal for miners to buy it which does not seem fair holding a human's vocation against him!

Yesterday was my brother,William's, birthday. I'm still waiting for my gift!

Demon Flash Bandit (Make it a Double Vodka--Whatever that Means)

 

Can Dogs Buy Vodka?

May 13th 2014 8:23 am
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I recently wrote a diary about the ads to the side of the diary I'm writing. That day it was for some hair product for dyed hair (aimed at the humans). I suggested that advertising human stuff on dogster might not be a good idea since we dogs are the ones reading the diary entries. I doubt that the humans even know how to read. My entry must have had some impact because todaqy it is for vodka. I have never drank vodka, but I wouldn't mind giving it a try. I have noticed that it is very popular among the humans so it is probably good. I just hope there is no law against a dog buying it since I think it is illegal for miners to buy it which does not seem fair holding a human's vocation against him!

Yesterday was my brother,William's, birthday. I'm still waiting for my gift!

Demon Flash Bandit (Make it a Double Vodka--Whatever that Means)

 

Dog Commercial

May 12th 2014 2:29 pm
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Thanks to Walker and family for the trophy cup on my page. I also want to thank Sushi, Freckles-Sir-Licks-a-Lot and the Jo family--Sammy, Toby, Cory, and Jo Jo for each sending me balloons. Now I have a total of 8 bunches and I am able to keep a very keen eye on the evil birds in their natural habitat.

Mommy was sharing some old television commercial jingles with me today, and we came upon one I decided to share with my readers. It has been slightly modified to make it more pertinent to today's dogs. By the way, it is a kid singing my dog is better than your dog. I have not changed those lyrics, but all us dogs are great so don't get the wrong idea. Here is the song:

My dog's better than your dog
My dog's better than yours.
My dog's better cause he eats chicken
My dogs better than yours.

That's because chicken is made from a dead bird
A bird that's no longer heard.
When my Mom goes to the store, she buys a bunch of birds and more

My dog's better than your dog
My dog's better than yours.
My dog's cause he eats chicken,
My dog's better than yours.

Feel free to add bacon to the chicken!

I hope all the moms had a nice MOther's Day--that includes all the fur kid moms!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Eats Chicken)

 

Dogs Can Read !!!!!!

May 11th 2014 8:23 am
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Dogster HQ chose my diary as a diary pick yesterday, and I was so honored that I spent the day partying, and I didn't have time to write a new entry. I'm sure all of my readers understand--a dog has to party when he gets an honor like that!

I see that, as I write this diary, there is an ad on dogster for hair products to use with hair that has been dyed. I hope this is meant for the humans because I am happy with the color of my fur, and I am in no mood to have the humans decide they want to dye it. Isn't it sad that the companies who spend money on advertising on dogster don't understand that humans can't read, and dogs can? This is why the only effective advertising on dogster is for dog products. We dogs can read!

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy With My Fur Color)

 

Beggin' Poppers

May 6th 2014 10:06 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Amazing Grace, who was chosen as dog of the week on dogster! I would like to thank Holly for the ladybug on my page. Conpawtulations to my pal, Sir Jack Freckles Licks-A-Lot on his human brother's graduation from the University of Michigan as a bachelor in engineering. I want to state up front that I have already inquired as to whether or not his bro will let me help him drive the train so, if you have the same idea, get in line. I asked first. Of course, I"m sure Sir Freckles will get to be first, but I am second in line. I just hope he doesn't let any of the cats help him. Cats just drive off cliffs.

I just finished writing an important blog on outsourcing for those of you who are concerned about the subject. I'm tired of humans being hired to dig when it is a dog's job.

Mommy bought us some Beggin Poppers, which are delicious. They are in a pig that the humans use to throw them across the room. Throwing treats through the air is the best game the humans ever invented. The poppers are bacon and cheese (cheddar and monterey jack flavors) Just be sure you get the poppers and not the new product on the shelf, poopers. I don't even want to tell you what flavor the poopers are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Beggin' Popper Treats)

 
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