Adventures of a lead dog

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Living a Dog's Life

June 15th 2014 4:34 pm
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I'd like to thank the dogs at HQ for, once again, granting me the honor of being one of the daily diary picks! As usual, I will be busy basking in the glow of being a diary pick. I started my whirlwind diary tour and I am about half way done now. The crowds....the applause.....the pawprints I give out.....and the butt sniffing is, as always, the joys of being a diary pick! Alas, all good things must come to an end so, it won't be long until I'll be back being an ordinary diary writing dog again....until HQ chooses me again! It isn't bad though. I do look forward to getting back with my humans and winding down, getting some butt scratches and taking a nap. Being a dog is a good life!

Demon Flash Bandit (Living a Dog's Life)

 

Lobsters: Good Eating No Matter What the Color

June 12th 2014 3:34 pm
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Since the rare yellow lobster has hit the news today, Red Lobster has now decided to open a more upscale restaurant that is going to be called Yellow Lobster. It will be very similar to Red Lobster except that it will serve yellow lobsters instead of red lobsters. I think 2 chains are enough. I don't think they need to open a Purple Lobster if they find a purple one. Chances are that a purple one is just a red or yellow one that has been beaten up by another lobster. You know how lobster are--not the nicest of fishes!

Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Lobsters)

 

Dogstyles of the Rich and Famous!

June 11th 2014 12:37 pm
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Good news for elderly dogs: Japan is opening a new "nursing home" for older pets that is a luxury facility. It will cost the average dog owner about $1,000 a month, but the senior dog will be cared for in luxury conditions as long as necessary. In Japan, an aging population is making it difficult for some of the dog owners to continue taking care of their dogs because some of them are in nursing homes themselves. If a dog has got to go into a home like that (and staying with our humans is preferred), it is nice to know that there are businesses out there watching out for us. Here is the link for those who are interested:

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/luxury-nursing-home-dogs-c ost-1k-month-japan-n128246

I think it is time that someone starts building these facilities in the United States.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Luxury Lifestyles)

 

I Smell a Rat !!!!!

June 7th 2014 10:46 am
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Humans are so clueless about what goes on in their own homes that it makes this dog wonder how the ones without dogs survive! Case in point: we have a rat in the house. My humans do not believe me, but how else can you explain that huge plastic fire hydrant container of treats that Mommy bought at Meijer being gone? I've been carrying it around the house for the past week trying to make sure the rat does not get into it. Alas, my efforts did not work and the entire container is empty. My human Mommy insinuated that there is no rat and that I, yes, I, the great Demon Flash Bandit had eaten the cookies myself and was trying to blame an innocent animal that does not exist. Rats do exist. They have been causing problems throughout history like when they caused the bubonic plague. Now one of the little varmints is terrorizing my treats. Do the humans listen? No, they blame the dog! I say we need to rent a cat to take care of this problem since I have no intention of staying awake long enough to kill a rat-even one that is bothering me! By the way, Angel Zoom Smokey is in full agreement with me on the rat issue. She says that the rat is eating her chicken and she needs more or she is going to starve. This is one time that I sympathize with Angel Zoom Smokey, and I could use some extra food also.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Smell a Rat)

 

I Don't Give Tummy Ribs!

June 6th 2014 11:36 am
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I'd like to thank Hershey and Van Winkie for the blue ribbon on my page. I would also like to thank Mr. Jack Freckles Sir-Licks-A-Lot for the balloons he sent.

In my last blog, I mentioned my song to Angel Zoom Smokey telling her to "move, bitch, get out of the way" which is highly appropriate for her since she is officially a "bitch". Isn't that what you call a girl dog? You'd think the human women would be flattered to be referred to in that way since girl dogs are so cute. Today I was trying to get past her, and I gave her my usual song and dance; and as usual, it did not work. She didn't move. Not only did she not move, she wanted me to give her a tummy rub. When did a dog get the idea that another dog would give a tummy rub. That is something that can only be used on humans who are dumb enough to waste time doing it. However, if the humans want to give me a tummy rub, that is a constructive use of time.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Angel Zoom Smokey)

 

Enough Sir Nice Guy

June 5th 2014 12:35 pm
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I told Mommy to book me a cruise trip to Alaska since I am a diary pick today! I know most of the humans would book a trip to the Caribbean, but I prefer a nice, cold climate to one that is warm. I do admit that meeting Captain Jack Sparrow would be fun. I think we have a lot in common since we are both "heartthrobs" for women everywhere.

On a non-related subject, I heard a song that I have to tell you about. It is officially a rap song so I'm sure a lot of the older humans aren't familiar with it, but it is a wise song. It goes: "move bitch, get outta the way" I have been barking this to Angel Zoom Smokey since she was a puppy. In fact, I think I should be contacting a lawyer because I bet those humans stole it from me! I hope Whitley has the time to take on my case. I would prefer a Harvard lawyer.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Whose Ideas Were Stolen)

 

I Don't Believe It!

June 2nd 2014 9:24 am
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The whole "puppy" situation with Angel Zoom Smokey is getting ridiculous. Now she is having 3 million puppies. I don't think that is physically possible; but, as usual, the humans are so gullible they fall for it. If they were dogs, they would never believe her story. We dogs are much too smart for that sort of thing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Not Gullible Like Humans)

 

Angel Zoom Smokey: Smarter Than I Thought

May 31st 2014 8:43 pm
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I would like to thank Dogster for choosing me as a diary pick of the day on May 29. As usual, it was a great honor, and I thank HQ for thinking of me. I also want to thank Hershey and Ven Winkle for the blue ribbon they sent to me. Jack Freckles-Sir-Licks-A-Lot sent me balloons, and so did Walker and family. I Always appreciate the thoughtful gifts from my pals.

Today I want to conpawtulate my pals, Lucky Isabella, Mr. Freckles-Sir-Licks-A-Lot, and Anya for having their diaries chosen as diary picks today!!!

In my last diary entry, I mentioned how Angel Zoom Smokey has managed to find a way to get extra food by telling the humans that she is going to have 300 puppies. Now she tells them she is going to have 3,000. I know that sounds like a ridiculous amount, but she is getting more food so it works. I wonder if the humans will believe I'm having puppies too. I can use some extra treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Angel is Onto Something)

 

Three Hundred Puppies

May 23rd 2014 7:58 am
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I think I have not given Angel Zoom Smokey the credit she deserves for her ability to manipulate the humans around here. I do it with my looks, but she takes it to a whole new level. She has been on a feeding frenzy the past week. She is scoring extra chicken and all sorts of extra food (yesterday she got 3 extra hot dogs that were bought just for her). How has she accomplished this feat? She has told the humans that she is going to have puppies. I don't think she is, but you know how gullible the humans are about such things. She told them that she is having 300 puppies so she needs a piece of chicken for each puppy, and of course, another one for herself. She isn't getting 300 pieces, but she is getting 2 or 3 breasts every day plus some other food. The only thing that I have to say is if 300 puppies show up around here, I will not be puppy sitting. If Angel wants the extra food, she can watch the little pupsters. I'll be napping as usual.

Demon Flash Bandit (Doesn't Believe Angel Will Have 300 Puppies)

 

Three Hundred Puppies

May 23rd 2014 7:58 am
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Conpawtulations to my pal, Hershey, who is a diary pick today!

I think I have not given Angel Zoom Smokey the credit she deserves for her ability to manipulate the humans around here. I do it with my looks, but she takes it to a whole new level. She has been on a feeding frenzy the past week. She is scoring extra chicken and all sorts of extra food (yesterday she got 3 extra hot dogs that were bought just for her). How has she accomplished this feat? She has told the humans that she is going to have puppies. I don't think she is, but you know how gullible the humans are about such things. She told them that she is having 300 puppies so she needs a piece of chicken for each puppy, and of course, another one for herself. She isn't getting 300 pieces, but she is getting 2 or 3 breasts every day plus some other food. The only thing that I have to say is if 300 puppies show up around here, I will not be puppy sitting. If Angel wants the extra food, she can watch the little pupsters. I'll be napping as usual.

Demon Flash Bandit (Doesn't Believe Angel Will Have 300 Puppies)

 
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