Dingo People, I'm Available for Advertisements--Give me all- the Dingos I can Eat

Angel Zoom Smokey got on the computer before me today, and I knew eventually she would be going on about how dreamy Capt Jack Sparrow is. I was sure the girls were going ga ga over an actor like Danny Devito, but I guess I'm not a girl so I have some sense. By the way, I think Danny is hilarious. He gets my Demon Flash Bandit salute for comedy. Do political leaders who do stupid things fall in the category of comedy or tragedy? It is hard for a dog to know whether to laugh or cry at some of the things going on in the world. I will repeat it once again.....look what a mess humans make of things. Dogs should be running the world. It makes you wonder why they get so upset over our little "accidents" when they are messing up the entire world. They let birds run free, steal snow, and create global warming. I'd better get on a lighter topic. I'm just getting too sad to continue....

I had a good day yesterday. Mommy bought us some new Dingo bones. All is right in my world. Maybe the world would be a better place if all the humans had a Dingo Bone to chew on. It might keep them out of trouble. Angel thinks it is a good idea, but wants to make sure the Dingo company can keep up. By the way, Dingo excecutives, if you need a mascot dog, I'm available as long as the position comes with all the Dingo bones I can eat---and I can eat a lot of Dingo bones.

I'll get off the computer. Mommy has some work to do on the computer. Something about the silly e-bay store she has. I can't understand Mommy's store anyway. It is a toy store, and there isn't one squeaky toy or rawhide bone in her store. How is that a toy store? I am humoring her, so I' haven't told her what I think. Sometimes a dog has to keep his criticism to himself if it is the person buying your Burger King. I'll write more tomorrow.

Demon Flash Bandit (Still a Dingo Dog)

Jeff had the Nerve to Question my Political Knowledge.

I'm back. As I said...Same Bat Time...Same Bat Channel...No Bat Costume. Jeff said that the title for yesterday's entry wasn't funny because Nixson never said, "I'm not a bat". How does he know? He probably said it one year when his Mommy bought him a Batman costume. He made several appearances on the tv show, Laugh-In, and he said Sock it to Me plus he was very paranoid so he probably thought he had to point out a lot of things....his "I'm not a peanutbutter sandwich illustrates my point. How dare Jeff question me, Demon Flash Bandit? Besides, Mommy loved the I'm not a bat line. She laughed for about 5 minutes. Jeff said Mommy probably had lost her mind which also shows how stupid he is because if she had lost her mind, I would have found it. I love gory, disgusting things. I told Jeff that next he would be saying that Cheney didn't say "Take that" when he shot his friend when they were out hunting for people to shoot. Jeff said that sounded right to him, but Mommy thinks he also said, "Don't mess with the Cheney". It makes me rest better at night to know that our leaders are watching out for us even if, in Cheney's case,it is probably through the scope of his rifle. In case some of you are wondering, I tend to insult the present administration because they are leaving me way too much work to do when I take office. It is going to cut seriously into my nap time, and you know how seriously us dogs take nap time.

Mommy and Jeff went to a movie, and I had to babysit. I wonder if they are ever going to pay me. I got a musical guitar and a bag of squeaky toys, but Angel got them too, and she didn't really have to babysit. She did have to put up with William so I guess she deserved them too. They went to see American Gangster, and both said it was a good movie. Mommy was annoyed that another dog was killed in the movie (not in real life--the dog is actually alive and well). Mommy says she has no idea why it was necessary for the dog to "pretend" to die. She didn't like it, and neither do Angel and I.

The weather is getting delightfully chilly, and I would be happier if only it got even colder. Mommy isn't too happy about it getting chilly, but that is her problem. I'm just enjoying the cooler weather. The annoying birds have left or are in the process of leaving. Remember don't feed the birds that remain during the winter. They want to die. If they didn't they would have flown to a warmer climate. I'm just thinking of their feelings.

I think it is time to stop writing. The computer just said: you are getting very sleeping, and the computer is right. Remember to vote for me. I promise I won't shoot at people. I can't. They don't manufacture a paw friendly gun.

Demon Flash Bandit (Politcal History Dog)

To quote Richard Nixson "I am not a- Bat".............what was he smoking?

Today Angel isn't in here to annoy me while I write my diary entry. Jeff posted photos of her in her Halloween costume, and I think they are hilarious. I am still laughing. I was too fast for them so I didn't have to dress as Batman. Who is "Batman" anyway. Isn't that kind of a stupid name for a hero? As I understand it, he has no superpowers, just a utility belt that he wears that always happens to have just what he needs to get out of whatever trap the villian puts him in. It is no wonder that my favorite hero is Underdog. He does have superpowers, and he isn't call Dogman, He proudly calls himself Underdog. I was watching the tv last night, and Mommy had on an excellent dvd. It was episodes of a tv show called Wishbone. Angel and I enjoyed it immensely, and we both agreed that Wishbone should get an Academy Award. His portrayal of Robin Hood was the best we have seen. His costume was wonderful, and we loved his British accent. The dog is clearly an acting genius. I bet the humans are jealous, and will probably never give him an academy award, but I am giving him the Demon Flash Bandit Acting Salute..........................

It is Sunday. Jeff said something about time changing. It seems the same to me. Have you dogs ever noticed how humans always seem to think they can "control" things? I think it is funny because they can't change time or nature--they just change their concept of it. We dogs know this, but the humans are so silly.

I'll be back tomorrow.................................................... ...................
SAME BAT TIME SAME BAT CHANNEL NO BAT COSTUME HAHAHA

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog not Bat)

SRB............SRB.............SRB..............Send Rawhide- Bones

Since it is a quiet day around here, I should spend some time discussing issues that are important to me, Demon Flash Bandit. First on the agenda, I know all you dogs out there are asking yourself, what would Demon Flash Bandit want us to do for him? ................... Shut up Angel. All the other dogs like me. You are the only one who says I am a selfish jerk. This is my computer time--you wrote your entry already. I am not selfish. You are just jealous that the dogs out there aren't asking themselves what they can do for Angel Zoom Smokey................................Anyway, I would like for you to send me any Dingo bones you have laying around the house. I love Dingo bones...........................no Angel, the Dingo bones I'm asking for are for me--not you.............................perhaps the stores have some Dingo bone gift certificates and you have some laying around that you haven't used yet, feel free to send them to the Demon Flash Bandit Campaign Headquarters which doesnt' need an address. The post office knows us. However, even more important than me getting Dingo bones (is there really anything more important than that) . I need your votes. I've already got a lot of support. I even wrote the administration at Dogster, and they haven't put my campaign on the front page yet. I suspect they might want a human running things. Look at what a mess humans have made of the world and they still trust a human!!!!!! I don't know what they are thinking. I've got to go. I hope all you dogs and your families have a good weekend.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dingo Doggie)

Mommy took off early this morning--it was the crack of dawn--about 10:30. I didn't know people could get up so early. If this continues, I am not going to get near enough sleep. She went shopping. She did come back with a Dingo bone for each of us (or 2 for me if we are using Demon Flash BAndit math).

DINGO BONES TASTE GOOD
LIKE A RAWHIDE BONE SHOULD

I have to admit I borrowed that little poem from a cigarette add that used to be on tv years ago. I believe it was Winston. No one in the famly smokes, but Mommy has watched people buy them, and she announced that the price for them in Michigan is too high,so if she did smoke, she would quit. A lot ot prices are too high. They need Marshall Lucky to put an end to high prices. He was in a very funny movie called Used Cars that came out a long time ago. Marshall Lucky did the commercial for their car lot and shot down high prices (by shooting cars at the competetor's dealership). He would need a staff of deputies to help him keep up with all the high prices out there now.

I found a bag of tootsie rolls yesterday (it was in plain view when you open the cabinet door, knock out a few items. crawl into the cabinet, etc.). Mommy always leaves things sitting where a husky can help himself. Anyway, it was various products by that company, and I discovered that I love the fruit flavored tootsie rolls. Orange, strawberry, etc. They are all good.

I've got to get back to my Dingo 'bone(s).

Demon Flash Bandit (Poetic Dog)

I WANT CANDY-Somebody thinks like me

I have bad news to impart. Angel and I were outside last night (on leashes), and Jeff was giving our candy away to those little neighborhood thieves. I used my scary wolf stare, but those kids don't scare easy. I couldn't believe Jeff would just give a total stranger my candy. I'm sorry I can't give you dogs out there any good ideas on how to stop it, but none of our ideas worked, but I have a year to think of something new and different.

I didn't wear a costume. I was paying attention because I got roped into wearing Superman last year. Angle ended up wearing her hot dog costume. The funniest part was that she has grown a lot since Mommy bought ti, and it ended up being her "hot dog butt". I laughed and lauched. She threatened me with puppy slaps of justice. Anyway, Howloween was okay. Mommy had a lot of candy left over, and then I realized if she hadn't bought all the candy in the first place, there wouldn't be left over candy. Maybe this trick or treat concept isn't so bad. I hope all you dogs had a wonderful Howloween.

Demon Flash Bandit (There was Candy left over)

Happy Halloweeen and watch out for YOUR CANDY

Halloween Day is here. I don't even have to warn Angel. Since the awful day when Mommy decided to try her costume on her, Angel bolts away whenever she sees Mommy pick up the hot dog cosutme. I told her to be particularly vigilent today because Mommy will be extra sneaky. She might even enlist Jeff to help so you have to watch him too. Why do humans think we look cute when we look so ridiculous? By the way, Mommy and Jeff don't usually dress in costume. It doesn't seem fair to me. What do you dogs out there think? Do you little dogs really like to dress up or are you just too small to fight back? For centuries, doggie philosophers have been pondering questions like this. I, being far more practical, think doing some surveys might help answer this question once and for all.

Mommy and Jeff went shopping last night, but the good thing about it was they went to Petco, and got us our favorite doggie cookies--they even had the ones that look like chocolate chip cookies. We also got rawhide bones and squeaky toys. I always enjoy getting the "loot" when they get home.

Angel and I are trying to devise a plan to keep those pesky trick or treaters out of OUR CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angel wants to give them puppy slaps of justice, but I told her that our humans won't let us get close enough for puppy slaps of justice. Then she said she could develop super powers like the Fantastic Four's stretchy guy, and stretch out her paw and puppy slap them from a distance. I told her that I didn't think her plan was practical because, even if she could get those powers, Mommy or Jeff would notice a furry paw going past them to slap a kid. I have to give her credit though--she is trying to think of a way to save our candy. I think I will give them my scary wolf stare and see if they are too scared to come to the door. I am trying to think of something better because some of those kids dress so scary that they scare me which means it will take a lot to scare them away. I'll let you know tomorrow if we came up with anything that worked so you can use our ideas next year. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Trying to Keep Trick or Treaters from MY CANDY)

The Indignities Continue

Before I start a new topic, I have more information about a subject I covered in yesterday's entry. I have to relate something that I overheard Jeff tell Mommy last night. In the movie, 30 Days of Night (or whatever its silly name is) the huskies didn't die heroically--they just died. He said he made up the heroic part to make Angel and me fell better. I was appalled. How could they just let dogs die for no good reason. Sure, humans died also, but humans could choose to be in the movie. I bet they didn't tell the dogs what part they were going to play. Dogs wouldn't sign on to play in a movie where they die because we dogs aren't as dumb as humans. I don't want to hurt the human's feelings, but that is just the way it is.

Mommy stayed home yesterday. I had to eat left over BK from the refrigerator. I wasn't very happy. Angel ate some ham. BK is not her favorite food anyway. I didn't want ham. I wanted BK, but I wanted it fresh, and I like to go through drive-thru to get it. If Daddy were alive, he wouldn't allow such indignity--micro-waved BK from the day before. What is this family coming to? If they put BK in the freezer section, will Mommy think it is okay to buy it frozen? Let's hope BK never comes frozen.

Halloween is going to be here soon. I think we should pretend we aren't home, and keep all the candy for ourselves. I know Mommy and Jeff won't agree, but they should. Remember, dogs aren't supposed to wear costumes on Halloween or any other day.

Demon Flash Bandit (Non-costumed Dog)

Don't go see 30 Days of Night

Angel and I were riding to get our dinner yesterday. Mommy said she doesn't know how getting in the car and going for a ride became how we get dinner. Evidently, for some dogs, it involves a bowl and food, and no car. Angel and I are intrigued over that concept, but decided Daddy's way was the best. Angel said Daddy had to have been a rare genius, and I told her he was great. For some odd reason, Mommy says something about Daddyspoiling dogs rotten. Angel and I are looking for the spoiled dogs, but we haven't found them yet. They must be hiding somewhere. Anyway, we were on our way to Arbys, and we got in a slight disagreement over who should sit in the front seat-okay on the console between the seats because our brother, William was sitting in our front seat. I don't know who allowed him to sit up front when there are 2 back seats for him. Anyway, William had the nerve to tell us that he isn't going to put up with us fighting in the car, and if we don't cut it out, we will have to stay home. He has nerve. Angel puppy slapped him and she gave him her scary wolf look the whole way there and back, and it didn't do any good. I'm sure Mommy will realize how rotten William is and make him stay home. We are always having to babysit for him, and he is 24, and he should be able to take care of himself. The things we dogs have to put up with.............

To make matters worse, Mommy and Jeff went to the theatre where Mommy saw Dan in Real Life. Jeff chose to see a horror movie called 30 Days of Night. Mommy warned him that we wouldn't like it because it takes place in Alaska, and all us huskies know that Alaska is a wonderful place. Anyway, when he got out of the movie, he told Mommy some huskies DIED in the movie. I think this movie should not only be banned but as long as it is in the theatres, dog owners should be picketing with signs that warn people not to see it. Jeff was given a stern lecture from both Angel and me for watching such garbage. He said the dogs were heroes. We think the humans should have died heroically protecting the dogs. Now I"ve got to go and write a movie script. I'm calling it 30 Days of Not Killing any Huskies. What is Hollywood coming to?............

Demon Flash Bandit (Screenwriter)

Good Dogs Follow Orders

I had to wake up from my nap to write this dairy entry. I am still trying to decide if it was worth getting up for. Mommy was giving Angel and me some instructions on what not to do this morning. I'll give you a run-down: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH and then Jeff added BLAH BLIB BLIB BLAH. I would wonder if I heard wrong, and I did. I checked with Angel and Jeff actually said: BLAH BLAB BLAB BLAH. We discussed the instructions at length and here is our translation into dog: HOWL WOOF WOOF HOWL, and HOWL, YAP YAP HOWL. Now to translate dog into English: Do Whatever you want. You dogs are wonderful. We have proceeded to do whatever we want to do today. It is no wonder that Angel and I love living here so much. Angel is in the hall--she mentioned something about Mommy wanting her to create a puddle. I guess Mommy appreciates creativity. I hope she just creates a puddle and not a flood.

Mommy said I was cute when I was sleeping because I was holding a squeaky toy hamburger. I think that I would look cute no matter what I hold or don't hold.

It is gettting a bit cooler outside (and inside). Let's give a Husky Howl for the cooler weather.

I've got to get back to my nap. If I don't get at least 20 hours of sleep a day, I get really grouchy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Carefully Follows Mommy's Instructions)