Captain Bailey Reporting

Ahoy, mateys!

I have a boat of my own! She's a lovely round inflatable thing, called the Screech of the Seas, perfect for riding over the crystal blue expanse of my humans' pool! My people were afraid I wouldn't like it, but they tried me on it and I loved it! I'm a natural boater and can keep my balance on the float perfectly. With my loyal human crew to push the boat around for me, I can go anywhere I desire! I could really get used to the sailing life, I think. However, when they saw I liked that, they tried me on the boogie board. I really didn't like that. It's just a tad t0o close to the water for me. Though I'm a fan of sailing, I'm really not a fan of getting wet. Also, it's very hard to balance on something as small and unstable as a surfboard. So, I guess a surfing life is out of the question for me. That's fine, because I don't really look like the surfing type anyway.

Another large news story is that The Barking Dog had betrayed me! They gave Auntie back all my stuff- everything, that is, except my Kong. Yes, you heard correctly! Those terrible strangers had the nerve to steal my precious Kong! It's probably out on the black market of dog toys already, getting chewed on by some nasty big dog with a black studded collar, huge fangs, and tattoos. Grrrrr. I'm certainly going to give the folks at that terrible k----- an earful when I return today.

Yes, that's more terrible news- I'm returning to the k----- today. My people- all of them, even Auntie and Cee- are flying out to Niagara Falls to see relatives today. Relatives who do not, apparently, like dogs. Not that my people would have considered taking me anyway. Oh, dear me, no! I can never go on vacation with my people. So it's off to the terrible k----- for the second instance, in far too short a time for me to have even recovered fully even from my last visit. So, in about an hour, I'm to be plopped in my carrier and carted off to prison again. Sigh. I'm rather resigned to my fate, as there isn't much I can do about this. Maybe they'll at least give my Kong back when I return this time.

I've had my Plus status removed from me. I had Plus for a year and I loved it. I didn't buy it, however, it was anonymously gifted to me. It might even have been from a Catster cat, I don't know. So I always knew I was really living on borrowed time with Plus, and I wasn't at all surprised when I reverted back to non-Plus a few days ago. My humans won't let me renew my subscription (hmph, the injustice!) so that is probably the end of my Plus days. I do want to say thank you for the great time to whoever gave me Plus. It was so much fun while it lasted, I can't thank you enough for letting me try it!

Notice anything different about this diary? I've been pondering it for a long time, but I finally just gritted my teeth and did it a few days ago. Yes, I've finally changed my diary's title from that old "Life in the Doghouse!" The title is now "Yorkie Yippings & Yarns." I think that sounds far more sophisticated than the old title. Do you like it?

I've finally caught up on entries, so you can read up in my archives. That should keep everyone satisfied during my absence. Goodbye, everybody! Wish me luck surviving the k----- again! I should be back by Monday, I think, maybe. My people never tell me anything but I gather that's when they'll be arriving home and picking me up. But if I don't have an entry that day, don't be surprised. I might be too tired or I might have been wrong about the date.

Sir Bailey B.

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