Extreme chewing

Ah, my follower's recent consumption of the gas grill aluminum pan has reminded me of one of my youthful acts of naughtiness. Mulligan will never, or at least I hope for Mom's sake, be able to surpass me.

When I was a couple years old Mom had cable TV. This was before DVR and TiVo, this was pretty basic. The cable TV did have a remote and the cable TV could be programmed so that the Television would turn on a certain channel at the programmed time. The VCR could be programmed to come on and record at the same time as well. Mom used the Remote Control to record a movie that came on in the middle of the night.

I then ate the Remote Control. Oh, there were a few bits of it left, but it was no longer useful.

At 2:30 am the TV came on. This continued for several weeks as there was no way for Mom to de-program the cable box. At precisely 2:30 every Tuesday morning the TV would come on and startle Mom awake. Mom finally 'fessed up to the cable company and luckily enough, the cable system had been upgraded and Mom got a new remote for free.

Yes, someone HAD to bring it up.

Please read the previous diary entry. Then note that YES, one relative DID HAVE TO BRING UP SAID INCIDENT. After Seventeen years, isn't it time to MOVE ON!!!!!

It's been Seventeen years, can we let it rest, already?

It has been Seventeen years, but a few annoying relatives, not my Mom, of course, just can't forgive and forget the time I peed on the Christmas Tree.

I plead extenuating circumstances. First off, I was 3 years old, and this was my FOURTH Christmas. I had NEVER PEED on a Christmas tree before. I had never peed in the house, for that matter, since I became trained.

Now, this tragic Christmas, I claim undo emotional duress. My first human brother had been born at the end of November. For some insane reason Mom had driven, yes driven, from Fort Worth, Texas, all the way to Cincinnati. But Mom, being the extreme safety person she is, had to stop every couple minutes to nurse the human cribling. Yes, yes, in her defense, I suppose she couldn't do that and drive. The normal 15 hour trip up to the MidWest took more like 20. Add to that the fact that I was forced to lay in the back seat near that ungrateful brat's car seat. Add to that the fact that in almost a month I had been up all night, all day, with the young pup's crying, crying, crying.

We finally arrived at our destination, in the wee dark hours of the morning. The resident German Shepherd of the house was in no better spirits than I. It seems another family sibling had also wielded forth a baby recently so that this poor dog had not slept in the days since that child had been visiting in that house.

Instead of our usual casual greeting, this German Shepherd took one look at me and the unfortunate package (the baby brother) that I had brought. She lunged at me to let me know that me and my newborn brother were simply more than she could bear. I walked into the house past those fatal fangs and proceeded to pee on the tree.

I rest my case.

Birthday Cake

I would like the family's current dog, MULLIGAN, to know that I NEVER ATE MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY CAKE.

Checking the next dog's diary, it can be noted that TYLER NEVER ATE A BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY CAKE EITHER.

Mulligan, you should be ultimately ashamed and surely Santa Claus will not be moving your name over to the nice column any time soon.

Leashes back in the place of Honor

Mom and Dad have been remodeling the Utility Room. I can't say I am sorry I have missed this!

My leash, and my follower, Tyler's, leash have hung in a place of honor since our respective passings. I was a bit worried as for weeks, my poor leash lay on the floor of the foyer, as this project was worked on.

But I had naught to worry, as soon as the paint on the walls dried, my leash was re-installed on it's hook, right above where my food/water bowls used to be. Yeah, they still have those too, and didn't "re-use" MY water and food bowls for following dogs.

Feasting on the Word of the Lord

Middle Brother received a Bible yesterday at Church in a simple, but special ceremony. It reminded Mom of the time she returned home from work and discovered that I had Feasted on the Word of the Lord. Literally.

Yes, there was Mom's beautiful blue leather Bible, a gift from her brother and sister-in-law, strewn about the house, what was not inside of me, that is. Gone were years of margin notes. Gone were the memories of the times of trouble and of joy in which Mom had gone to those pages for comfort or to offer praise.

Mom said she always wondered what would be my ultimate fate, after commiting such an ultimate, terrible act of youthful destruction.

Out with the Old

Out with Old, In with the New. All the work I put into those rugs, all done, gone to &*%$ in a hand basket. Mom and Dad repainted and remodeled the family room and the kitchen. They changed the rug in the family room and the one in the kitchen. They originally bought those rugs FOR ME. Yes, FOR ME. When they moved into the current house I was over twelve and a half years old and the family room/kitchen area was all slippery hard wood. My poor arthritic legs just had such a hard time walking on that hard wood floor that I took to staying in the carpeted living room. Mom hated that so she bought a very nice rug for the family room and one for the kitchen area and voila! I could walk around pretty well again and be part of the family once more. But as I aged, my continency slipped and those poor rugs bore the brunt of it. Mom never complained. She never scolded. She just took out paper towels and other supplies and without an extra word the mess was gone. After I was gone, Tyler came and the rugs were all broken in with my smells (despite the cleanings) and marked as my territory.

Now I guess that territory is gone.

Remodeling Woodwork

Dad is using all the wrong techniques. Dad is removing all the baseboards and woodwork from the Utility Room today. It is taking him quite a long time; he is quite inefficient at this job. I, Samson, was the master at removing woodwork. Oh, that I was still alive and could join him in this task! In my puppy and young dog days I removed more baseboard and door frames than one can imagine. I chewed, I scratched, I pawed. Mom would come home from a day at work to find splinters all over the house. Alas, now that my obsession could be put to some purposeful use I am stuck in this Urn on top of the filing cabinet.

What a Reputation I Had

This week Mom and Dad had to go up to Cleveland because my Dad's Father died, may his soul rest in peace, and I look forward to letting him rub my butt when I meet up with him across the Bridge.

Lots of relatives gathered, of course, and Mom saw many she hadn't seen since the last large funeral back in 1993, which was the first and only time she had ever met some of these relatives. I was quite a well-behaved dog and I used to travel to Cleveland with the family on all their trips. There was a Cat named Micha living there but Micha and I had a pact to not bother each other.

A number of the relatives who had only met Mom the one time Remembered Her as THE ONE WITH THE LARGE WOLF DOG! That would of course be ME, SAMSON! Mom had to relay that I had passed on but still, I obviously made quite an impact to be remembered for so long didn't I?!!!

Ashamed of Mulli of the MidWest

Hmph. I am not happy with the dog who has taken Tyler's place. Tyler took my place after I passed. After his passing, the torch was passed to Mulligan. Mulligan needs to learn his place in this world. I Loved, I Worshiped, I ADORED Mom. I LOVED Dad. I TOLERATED the two human brothers. The littlest brother wasn't around yet. I never tried to become Pack Leader. I was quite happy letting Mom be Alpha.

Now, Mom is in quite agony because Mulligan has been trying to lengthen her left arm. Her back is completely out of sorts because he simple refuses to enjoy the shared communion of a walk between kindred spirits. Mulligan feels HE must be in the lead, and Mom must follow. When Mom and I shared a walk, the leash was a bond we shared, as we communed on our journey.

But, alas, it is quite hard to get that thick-headed brute Mulligan to listen to me from over the Rainbow Bridge, he won't even listen to anyone still UNDER the Rainbow Bridge.