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Riding on the train

The Rufus office workout

June 27th 2006 11:15 pm
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As featured on Interview from Sparkster id_someone_say.html

S: Rufus, what are you training for right now?

R: Bark, bark, bark! *cough* *cough* Sorry, about that. I'm in deep training right now trying to drop some critical pounds in preparation for kicking some serious dog ass in the park.

S: Right, right. That Pit seemed to be, uh, "frontin'" the other day...

R: Homie, don't try to talk street. You sound like a jack ass. Anyway, you're talking about "Francis." He scraped the inside of my leg the other day and thinks he's a playah, but he ain't.

S: That's heavy. How are you training?

R: Oh, yeah... You're talking about the Rufus Program. The Program is rock solid! The Program is sound! See these muscles? See them!? Go ahead and squeeze! That's pure muscle, baby!

S: OK, I'm feeling like I need an adult here...

R: Whatever... Here's the program:

1. Maniacal Office Run
- Run around the office at breakneck speeds for no apparent reason.
Reps: 5/day

2. Prancing
- Take extra high steps to work those quads. Shows everyone else who's the dog (man). Also really important for those shorts endorsements.
Reps: All day

3. Garbage Can Stretch
- Stretch over a garbage can and put your head down as far as you can. Burn, baby, burn!
Potential Bonus: Snackables! Mmm...
Reps: 3/day

S: Impressive. So I noticed some iPod ear phones. Rufus, what's on your iPod?

R: It's called a dogPod. Anywho, Survivor is of course on heavy rotation. I'm also a big fan of Quiet Riot and some early Black Sabbath. Oh, and Britney... I'm *all* about Britney.

S: Great stuff! So what about these rumors about you and Ms. Champion Eclipse Envy O Sportingfield?

R: Look... We just had coffee. That's it! And in case you hear differently, I'm all man! Not that you will, because all we had was coffee.

R: This has been great, but I'm late for a meeting with my agent.

S: Uh, right. Thank you. Rufus.


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