May 8th 2011 12:42 pm
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Friday was three weeks that you left us. I'm still crying and don't know if I'll ever stop. When I sleep I have dreams with you and wake up to find you not there. I don't hear you sleeping on the sofa or next to me. For the first time in a long, long time I'm scared. If anyone or anything make a sound at night you let me know. Now I lock the doors and wake at any sound...
I've taken Darcy to grandma and grandpa's, it was so hard without you there. No walks along Penns Creek, no frisbee playing, no watching you watch/chase the squirrels at the bird feeders... I've never been so sad, I just miss you so much. I don't regret putting you to sleep, when Dr. Mount said that you were suffering I knew it was the right thing to do. You didn't deserve to be in pain at all. You were innocent in the whole situation.
I'm so angry, I'm waiting for your remains to come back and pay the final bill. I'm getting a copy of your file from Dr. Mount and filing against Dr. MacNeil for not completing the requested biopsy in December. He robbed me of my time with you, so I feel that he should be reprimanded or something. Had he done the biopsy like I asked maybe we could've had some heads up and tried to help you. Instead he said everything was alright and now you're gone... I just want to file with the State Boards and get it all off of my chest. Maybe I'll feel better.
I sent some of your new toys and stuff to Southpaws Express. Darcy doesn't play with them, but I kept a few just in case. I'm slowly putting your stuff away. The worst was putting your camo coats, frisbee and leads away. I cried so hard it hurts.
I don't know what to do about Darcy. She's coming around more. She really has no choice - she's lonely as well. She did good at grandma and granpas. She enjoyed the quiet driveway and watching the birds/squirrels at the bird feeder. When someone came in she tried to disappear through the floor. We're changing shifts on June 18th and I don't want her to be alone. Dad and I may decided to get her a friend, but I'm so scared. Scared that if we bring another dog in the house that he/she will get sick and we'll lose another dog. I know I'll never be able to replace you, I wouldn't even try. But it doesn't seem fair to Darcy either. So what do I do? Dad is concerned also. He's seen more than his share of sadness in his world and doesn't know what to say or do with me sometimes. I thought I was crazy for all of the crying I've been doing and checked out a Pet Grieving site and found out I'm alright. Turner, you and I spent so much time together in Florida by ourselves before we moved to Texas. Then in Texas when dad was working all of the time and we walked, drove all over creation. Our travels from Texas to Central Pennsylvania to help grandma and grandpa and all of the stops in between.
I never realized how many people you affected. People I forgot you met ask about you and when I tell them that you had cancer and we had you put to sleep they were all sad with us. You changed alot of peoples perspective about Pitbulls! Even conviced a few to foster them and realize what love bugs they are! I still have my sticker on the truck that says, My Best Friend is a Pitbull" It's true, I would tell you every day that your my best friend and I meant it.
Darcy is going to the kennel in a hour for the week. She needs to go play and have some fun. Me and dad are heading to Chincoteague Island, VA. I need some sand between my toes, a quiet sand dune to sit on and have a good cry with dad. I'm hoping that the sun and sea air will cheer me up some.
I love you Turner Man and miss you..
April 17th 2011 3:44 pm
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It's been 2 days since you left us and all is not well. We never saw this coming and cannot believe you are no longer here. The house seems so big and so quiet. We sleep with the tv on because we're waiting for you to jump in the bed and you're not there. We're listening for the doggie door and you don't come through. We're anticipating the sound of paws in the hallway and silence. Nothing but silence.
We feel robbbed - you were only 7 1/2 years old - it's just not fair! The house has lost it's glow... time moves slowly now... you're gone...
Karl and I cannot stop crying... we look at each other and say why? Why now?? Our only saving grace is that you were in the best of care at Haskell Valley Vet. Dr. Mount and all of the staff loved you at the end of the week. They called you a love-bug. They said your smile was infectious and your tail non-stop. I never saw you enjoy a vet's office so much. For that we are greatful - they sent you to heavens arms with love. When we saw you on our last visit you gave us kisses and hugs and beat our legs with your tail. You seemed at peace. When the results came in that it was so aggressive and spreading like wildfire we knew we could not let you suffer - you didn't deserve to be in pain. So we sent you free to heaven, wait for us Turner we'll be looking for you when it's our turn. Until then run, play, pee and poop everywhere you deserve it...
We love you Turner, our Mr. Man and as I always said - you're my best friend - forever...
Lya and Karl
April 15th 2011 1:42 pm
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We got the pathology report the masses that were removed were loaded with lymphoma and it was a very aggressive cancer. We had Turner PTS tonight and our hearts are broken. He was having a good day and the sun is shining so we decided it was the best choice to let him go now before the cancer ravished him and brought him more pain.
He was my heart and soul dog, I feel like I too am dying... Thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers they are so appreciated.
Until I can type again.
I love you Turner thank you for almost 8 amazing years together. Lord knows we had a wild journey...
All of our love,
Lya and Karl
April 15th 2011 4:33 am
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The steroids are helping and the mass appears to be getting smaller by 15% according to the vet. We went to see Turner last night and he greeted us with loads of kisses and tail whips. Definately a good sign. He still has trouble peeing and has diarrea and is straining while eliminating. BUT we're praying for the best. We left Turner at the vet because he's still not eating. Hubby gave them the tricks to make him eat so we'll see. The vet called the lab and put an urgent on his biopsies. We should have the pathology report this morning, once again praying for the best. The vet is hopeful because of the response to Pred, stating that the mass reduced about 15%.
The vets office is falling in love with my Turner. He's winning their hearts as only he can and everyone is pulling for him. I've made alot of promises with God and intend on keeping them... Just let him pull through this...please...
April 13th 2011 9:00 am
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Went to visit Turner last night and he tried to pee, got a little spritz and then nothing. He also had some diarrea. Then he started to cry and I started to cry so we had to leave.
This morning I spoke to the vet and she stated that his swelling had gone down and he was peeing and pretty chipper. BUT she did a rectal on him and found a large mass. He was having a hard time pooping and in pain. She's going to start him on some steriods and see if that'll help. If not decisions need to be made. Which means I'm going to lose my best friend. All I can say is this sucks. I can't stop crying...
April 12th 2011 8:37 am
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Hubby and I have been together for 20 years and he's had to deal with me and dogs for all of them. Yesterday he took Turner to the vet for an emergency. While outside trying to let Turner pee a guy pulled up in a Cadillac got out in his business suit and had a young male Airedale Terrier he was dropping off for neutering. Hubby said the guy wouldn't walk on the grass and the kept jerking the lead and snapping the dog back. All the while telling it to hurry up... Well hubby got inside and the man came in shortly after. The guy sat down on a bench and was using the lead to "whip" the dog to sit... Hubby just about lost it! Told the guy - if you hit that dog one more time I'm gonna hit you. The guy looked at my husband (6'1" and 260 pounds) and said he won't sit. Hubby said you don't have to yell and you don't have to hit - watch and looked a Turner and said calmly Turner sit. Of course he did! Then he said what is your dogs name. The man told him, hubby said the dogs name and sit and son-of-a-gun the dog sat. Hubby just smiled and said, "see be nice to them and they'll be nice to you." Then they called Turner to the back. I'm so proud of hubby!!
Click treat!! Good hubby!! :)
April 12th 2011 8:35 am
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The vet believes the whole problem is from the swelling of his right leg. They put a compression bandage on and another cath this morning. By the way - he stood still for the cath. Even the vet said what a trooper!! No infection - blood work is still as it was pre-op. Before I hung up the tech advised the vet that Turner had just peed on his own!!! They gave him lasix and want to keep him another night for observation.
I give the vet so much credit - she reiterated that this was a major surgery and we're far from out of the woods. But since his bloodwork was clear and she didn't feel the abdominal mass taht the other vet felt (she believes it was fluid) that these are all good signs. Hubby and I are going for a visit after work - take him for a little walk about and get a few (ok a bunch) of hugs.
April 12th 2011 3:59 am
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They kept Turner last night. I called the vet yesterday afternoon and the tech said she took him for a walk and he pooped once and tried to pee several times with no luck. The vet told me that she was going into surgery and when she got done she would get a crew together and cath him.
She called me later and told me that they did cath him and got his bladder empty and he pooped once again. He did vomit once and she gave him his meds through injections. She didn't want to give him steriods until they found the problem with the peeing. She also stated that she felt what could be another mass in his abdomen area and was concerned. Turner was comfortable and being a good boy and she was saying how wonderful he was overall.
This morning Turner's regular vet and the lead vet will be in. I'm going to call around 11 am for an update.
April 11th 2011 6:30 am
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Hubby got him in as they were unlocking the doors. They took him right in. They're keeping him and may have him overnight - don't know yet. Hubby tried to let him pee before he left and his belly filled up with fluid and a fold of skin got caught in his penis sheath. Hubby managed to get it out and broke the sound barrier getting him to the vet.
Turner's in good hands, the vets at this clinic are the best in the area and we have full confidence in them.
The techs are going to walk him and see if he can pee, if not they'll cath him to relieve the pressure and start from scratch...
We'll keep you posted...
Thanks for all of the thoughts and prayers... we need them.
April 11th 2011 4:00 am
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He ate 2 bites of wet food last night. Peed and pooped. Woke up at 4 this morning and tried to pee, couldn't. So hubby is taking him to the vet as I type this.....