September 15th 2011 12:01 pm
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Not because we wanted you to, but because you were suffering and it wasn't fair to you. There is such a big hole in our lives without you. But we know that you are not in pain.
We love you so much and miss you even more!
Mom and Dad
July 15th 2011 5:29 am
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We let you go to heaven free of pain and discomfort. No more suffering. I miss you so much. I still cry everyday and everytime I think of you. It's just so damn unfair! There is no joy in my life and I hate it. I miss you bahba and wish you were still here...
Thinking of you...
June 30th 2011 11:47 am
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So I got Turners name and dates tattooed on below his portrait. On the way over to the tattoo shop I realized that I wanted to add a dragonfly to the design. Since Turner has passed there has been a dragonfly that will come around when I talk to him. Very cool looking has black and white stripes. So I got to the shop and we got online to fine the right one. Shazaam!! Found it! After all was done I was heading home and thinking about the dragonfly and Turner. I parked at the house go to walk into the house and next to the door is the same dragonfly! Swear to God! I went in to get my camera because I know nobody will believe me and just think I'm nuts. Well of course I couldn't get the darn thing to sit still to take a picture. Then I realized I was crying. I didn't even feel the tears. But I felt like my boy was there - again!
June 25th 2011 3:54 am
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When I picked you up from the shelter you had no birthday. So I shared mine with you. June 25th. Happy Birthday Mr. Man. You've been gone for 2 months 10 days and I miss you so much. There is such a big hole in my heart. I still cry everyday because I miss you. I miss your energy and your smile. I miss my Turner hugs when I get home from work. I wonder if I'll ever feel good again.
I took the day off of work to try and have a happy birthday, but just feel so sad. I wonder if the sun will ever shine again in my world.
Happy Birthday Turner - I Miss You!
May 14th 2011 1:41 pm
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One month and one day after we let you go to heaven you are home. Dad and I picked up your remains and paid the final bill. The final bill...
Dad and I went to Chincoteague for the week. Darcy went to the kennel to play - she was so happy to see the other dogs - the kennel was full of new friends for her to play with. Her tail was going like crazy.
Every morning I got up before dawn and went to Assateague to watch the sunrise and talk to God. I spoke my peace, cussed and yelled and let it all out. I told got that he robbed me of time with you, that you were my joy and it wasn't fair that you were taken from us. I found this huge piece of driftwood about 3 miles up the beach. It was turned on end and looked like a tree. Only it was covered with shells. It was so beautiful. I found a conch shell and whispered my love to you in it and set it on the tree. When we left Friday it was still there along with other shells and dreams... I took dad out to show him and he though it was beautiful as well.
Now we have your remains here, you have a beautiful urn and we have lockets with your ashes in every vehicle and one around my neck. You are with us again. Forever...
I still cry but only because I miss you so... I still can't fall asleep and look forward to daylight so I don't have to try... I know this will all pass one day and that life goes on but for now I still look for you...
May 8th 2011 12:42 pm
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Friday was three weeks that you left us. I'm still crying and don't know if I'll ever stop. When I sleep I have dreams with you and wake up to find you not there. I don't hear you sleeping on the sofa or next to me. For the first time in a long, long time I'm scared. If anyone or anything make a sound at night you let me know. Now I lock the doors and wake at any sound...
I've taken Darcy to grandma and grandpa's, it was so hard without you there. No walks along Penns Creek, no frisbee playing, no watching you watch/chase the squirrels at the bird feeders... I've never been so sad, I just miss you so much. I don't regret putting you to sleep, when Dr. Mount said that you were suffering I knew it was the right thing to do. You didn't deserve to be in pain at all. You were innocent in the whole situation.
I'm so angry, I'm waiting for your remains to come back and pay the final bill. I'm getting a copy of your file from Dr. Mount and filing against Dr. MacNeil for not completing the requested biopsy in December. He robbed me of my time with you, so I feel that he should be reprimanded or something. Had he done the biopsy like I asked maybe we could've had some heads up and tried to help you. Instead he said everything was alright and now you're gone... I just want to file with the State Boards and get it all off of my chest. Maybe I'll feel better.
I sent some of your new toys and stuff to Southpaws Express. Darcy doesn't play with them, but I kept a few just in case. I'm slowly putting your stuff away. The worst was putting your camo coats, frisbee and leads away. I cried so hard it hurts.
I don't know what to do about Darcy. She's coming around more. She really has no choice - she's lonely as well. She did good at grandma and granpas. She enjoyed the quiet driveway and watching the birds/squirrels at the bird feeder. When someone came in she tried to disappear through the floor. We're changing shifts on June 18th and I don't want her to be alone. Dad and I may decided to get her a friend, but I'm so scared. Scared that if we bring another dog in the house that he/she will get sick and we'll lose another dog. I know I'll never be able to replace you, I wouldn't even try. But it doesn't seem fair to Darcy either. So what do I do? Dad is concerned also. He's seen more than his share of sadness in his world and doesn't know what to say or do with me sometimes. I thought I was crazy for all of the crying I've been doing and checked out a Pet Grieving site and found out I'm alright. Turner, you and I spent so much time together in Florida by ourselves before we moved to Texas. Then in Texas when dad was working all of the time and we walked, drove all over creation. Our travels from Texas to Central Pennsylvania to help grandma and grandpa and all of the stops in between.
I never realized how many people you affected. People I forgot you met ask about you and when I tell them that you had cancer and we had you put to sleep they were all sad with us. You changed alot of peoples perspective about Pitbulls! Even conviced a few to foster them and realize what love bugs they are! I still have my sticker on the truck that says, My Best Friend is a Pitbull" It's true, I would tell you every day that your my best friend and I meant it.
Darcy is going to the kennel in a hour for the week. She needs to go play and have some fun. Me and dad are heading to Chincoteague Island, VA. I need some sand between my toes, a quiet sand dune to sit on and have a good cry with dad. I'm hoping that the sun and sea air will cheer me up some.
I love you Turner Man and miss you..
April 17th 2011 3:44 pm
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It's been 2 days since you left us and all is not well. We never saw this coming and cannot believe you are no longer here. The house seems so big and so quiet. We sleep with the tv on because we're waiting for you to jump in the bed and you're not there. We're listening for the doggie door and you don't come through. We're anticipating the sound of paws in the hallway and silence. Nothing but silence.
We feel robbbed - you were only 7 1/2 years old - it's just not fair! The house has lost it's glow... time moves slowly now... you're gone...
Karl and I cannot stop crying... we look at each other and say why? Why now?? Our only saving grace is that you were in the best of care at Haskell Valley Vet. Dr. Mount and all of the staff loved you at the end of the week. They called you a love-bug. They said your smile was infectious and your tail non-stop. I never saw you enjoy a vet's office so much. For that we are greatful - they sent you to heavens arms with love. When we saw you on our last visit you gave us kisses and hugs and beat our legs with your tail. You seemed at peace. When the results came in that it was so aggressive and spreading like wildfire we knew we could not let you suffer - you didn't deserve to be in pain. So we sent you free to heaven, wait for us Turner we'll be looking for you when it's our turn. Until then run, play, pee and poop everywhere you deserve it...
We love you Turner, our Mr. Man and as I always said - you're my best friend - forever...
Lya and Karl
April 15th 2011 1:42 pm
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We got the pathology report the masses that were removed were loaded with lymphoma and it was a very aggressive cancer. We had Turner PTS tonight and our hearts are broken. He was having a good day and the sun is shining so we decided it was the best choice to let him go now before the cancer ravished him and brought him more pain.
He was my heart and soul dog, I feel like I too am dying... Thank you all for all of your thoughts and prayers they are so appreciated.
Until I can type again.
I love you Turner thank you for almost 8 amazing years together. Lord knows we had a wild journey...
All of our love,
Lya and Karl
April 15th 2011 4:33 am
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The steroids are helping and the mass appears to be getting smaller by 15% according to the vet. We went to see Turner last night and he greeted us with loads of kisses and tail whips. Definately a good sign. He still has trouble peeing and has diarrea and is straining while eliminating. BUT we're praying for the best. We left Turner at the vet because he's still not eating. Hubby gave them the tricks to make him eat so we'll see. The vet called the lab and put an urgent on his biopsies. We should have the pathology report this morning, once again praying for the best. The vet is hopeful because of the response to Pred, stating that the mass reduced about 15%.
The vets office is falling in love with my Turner. He's winning their hearts as only he can and everyone is pulling for him. I've made alot of promises with God and intend on keeping them... Just let him pull through this...please...
April 13th 2011 9:00 am
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Went to visit Turner last night and he tried to pee, got a little spritz and then nothing. He also had some diarrea. Then he started to cry and I started to cry so we had to leave.
This morning I spoke to the vet and she stated that his swelling had gone down and he was peeing and pretty chipper. BUT she did a rectal on him and found a large mass. He was having a hard time pooping and in pain. She's going to start him on some steriods and see if that'll help. If not decisions need to be made. Which means I'm going to lose my best friend. All I can say is this sucks. I can't stop crying...