I am the F-Man. I am the Fargus. Coo coo cah choo.

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A day of discoveries

May 3rd 2006 11:52 am
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Today I discovered carrots. Mom gave me a little baby one, but I didn't know what to do with it. It was cold and wet. I rolled it around my mouth a bit, and then I spit it out and looked at it. It was weird. She gave it to me again, and I kind of bit into it and chomped a little -- but only a little -- and then I spit it out again and sniffed it. Dad brought me a cut-up carrot -- tiny pieces shaped like pennies -- and he gave me one. I was really happy to get it... but then I spit it out again. I did the same thing with the second piece, and the third. Still, this carrot thing smelled wonderful. I tried to resist, but I couldn't keep my nose off of it. Other than sniffing, though, I just didn't know what I was supposed to do with it, so I tried punching it with my nose to see if it would squeak. It did not.

Mom and Dad were giving up, and Jake was getting antsy. He already ate his carrots, and now he was trying to horn in on mine. Dad handed him some of my carrot pennies, and boy, did he ever eat them. The sound of his crunching was too much for me! I had to have a carrot, and I had to have it now! Hey, Mom, don't take my carrot! I want my carrot!

I chomped my carrot into tiny bits, making sure I got all of its vitaminy goodness. I even ate all the carrot crumbs I 'd made on my blanket.

I'm not sure if I really like carrots or not, but I am sure about one thing: I sure don't like Jake eating *my* carrots.

Love,
Fargus
xoxo

 

My friend Bubba

March 10th 2006 7:28 pm
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I saw Bubba today!

Yeah, it's true that I see Bubba all the time. He only lives two doors down from us, so we all stop to say hi to him when he's outside. He was pretty much the first dog besides Jake that I learned to trust (a few months ago I got to meet him at his fence), and now we sniff and play bow to each other every time we pass his house.

Today I saw Bubba WITHOUT A FENCE! Mom and Jake and I ran into him and his family on the way to the park. I so happy to see him, but I knew I shouldn't get too excited. Mom taught me "No barkies! No pull!" when we're out walking and I see another dog, so I just relaxed and waited.

It turned out to be my best dog meeting EVER! Bubba and I rubbed noses and wagged our tails at each other! Then he jumped over me, and so I jumped over him right back! And then we ran in circles around and around each other! It was SO FUN! And when we were finished, we all calmed down and waited for the moms to finish talking about whatever moms talk about. (If I don't hear someone say "Fargus," I usually don't pay very much attention to anything anybody's saying.)

So now that I showed everybody that Bubba really is my homey, our moms said we can have a real doggy play date! I can't wait!!! Fargus LOVES Bubba! Fargus and Bubba are FRIENDS!!!! Word!

Love,
Fargus
xoxoxo

 

Pork ribs and evening walks

November 18th 2005 6:55 pm
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I know it drives Mom and Dad crazy, but I still really like to snack on the "street treats" Jake and I can find in our neighborhood. Since we live by a school, there's always a ton of really good stuff from kids' lunches lying around. The other day Mom caught me with half a cheese sandwich hanging out of my mouth. She made me give it back to the sidewalk before I could get a good bite out of it. Darn.

Cheese sandwiches are a great find, but they're not nearly as good as the booty I almost got away with last night. There it was lying by the curb. Easy, Fargus! Don't let anybody see it, I thought. And then I had it! It was in my mouth, and its deliciousness was almost too much to bear! I kept my head down so no one would see my wonderful prize.

I'd made it across the street and kept walking, but as we turned the corner... BUSTED. When Mom called my name, I knew she'd seen the delicious pork rib sticking straight out of my mouth. She took it away, and I was no longer "Fargus the Great Rhinoceros." I was "Fargus, Don't Eat Off the Street!" Again. Double darn.

Goodbye, sweet pork rib. Fargus misses you.

Love always,
Fargus
xoxoxoxo

 

Calendar Boy

October 31st 2005 7:25 am
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Hey, everyone! Guess what?! I'm famous! I'm "Mr. August" in the Young At Heart Pet Rescue 2006 Calendar!

Young At Heart is a great new rescue that's devoted to saving and finding homes for senior dogs and cats. The calendar contest was open to all older pets, and since they tell me I was already 5-ish when I was adopted and Jake was at least 8 before he came to live with Mom and Dad, Mom figured we were great candidates. Because we're so darn good lookin', we both got picked to be in the calendar!

For info on Young At Heart, please visit http://yahpetrescue.com/. To check out the calendar, go to http://www.cafepress.com/yahpetrescue.31045094 (to see our pictures, click on "View Calendar," then "March" for Jake and "August" for me).

If anyone else wants me to be in their calendar, please let me know. A face like mine is just too handsome to waste. Plus, I've decided I like being famous.

Love,
Fargus
xoxo

 

Fargus Ortolano: Social Butterfly

September 27th 2005 10:03 pm
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On Sunday Mom and Dad took us to see Auntie Gloria. We LOVE Auntie Gloria, and she REALLY loves us doggy Ortolanos! We hadn't seen her in a long time because she got a dog of her own late last year, and Mom and Dad were worried that I might not be nice to him. Since I've been doing so great with Bubba down the street from us, everyone figured it might be time for me to meet Bailey.

Mom and Dad introduced me to him just like they introduced me to Jake and to my cousin Angel (who I was very nice to, thank you very much). Mom and Jake were on one side of the fence with Bailey when Dad and I came up on the other. When I first saw a strange dog near Mom and Jake, I got worried so I barked and tried to charge the fence. Both Mom and Dad told me "no," and Daddy moved me further away from the action. When I saw Mom petting Bailey and Bailey snuggling Mom, I calmed down right away, especially when I saw that Jake was okay with him being so close. Daddy brought me to the fence to meet Bailey, and I got a bunch of doggy kisses! After a few minutes, I got to go into Bailey's yard. I stayed on my leash for a while, and when I was finally allowed to roam around, I sniffed EVERYTHING! It was great, but the real fun began when we all went in the house.

Auntie's house has a bunch of short staircases with big rooms in between them. (Mom says it's a "split level." I say, "Whatever.") Bailey and I tore around the whole house, chasing each other up and down the stairs, flying in and out of every room, and running around every table and chair. IT WAS SO GREAT!!!!!!!! I was having such a terrific time I couldn't stop smiling!!! Jake and I finally had lunch and settled down. Man oh man, was I ready for a nap! Bailey, being young and just a little bit insane, still wanted to play. He kept following me around and barking at me to try to get me to run around with him, but I was just too tired. That didn't stop him from trying, though. Even Auntie was telling Bailey to be quiet, but he just wouldn't quit. Mom and Dad said that if I wasn't mean to Bailey even when he was annoying the heck out of me and everyone else, I was probably ready for anything.

I trust Mommy and Daddy so much now, so as long as they let me know another dog is okay, I'll believe them, especially if Jake likes the other puppy and everyone lets me take my time getting comfortable. They say they're going to work on finding me some new real-life dog friends, and I can't wait! I just hope the dogs they introduce me to have slightly less energy than Bailey.

Love,
Fargus
xoxoxoxo

 

The ups and downs of bath time

September 8th 2005 6:57 pm
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I was starting to get really itchy, so Mom made Dad give me a bath the other night. I don't like getting baths. Water is not Fargus's friend. But to my surprise, I discovered some pretty good things about baths. Behold...

Fargus's Top 5 Not-Horrible Things About Getting a Bath:

5. Tearing around the house afterwards, damp and nude

4. Treats, treats, and more treats while in the tub (like the treats; hate the bath)

3. Quality time with Daddy (Fargus loves Daddy)

2. Towelling! Woo-hoo!

and -- drumroll, please -- the No. 1 Not-Horrible Thing About Getting a Bath...

1. Being upgraded from "adorable" to "irresistible."

That's right. I'm now so soft and fluffy that Mom can't seem to keep her hands off me. Belly rubs... head nuzzles... neck kisses... cheek rubs... turkey-leg massages... toe rubs.... You name it, and I'm getting it!

My lesson learned: The bath itself might be not spectacular, but afterwards is TERRIFIC!

Love,
Fargus
xoxoxo

P.S. Hi, Auntie Jill! I miss you! I really enjoyed all the attention you gave me during your visit, especially the morning belly rubs. Too bad you had to leave before I became irresistible. :o(

 

Monkey Kisses

August 18th 2005 1:59 pm
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Most dogs give doggie kisses, but being the special kinda guy that I am, I figured out how to give Monkey Kisses.

I can't pucker like monkeys do -- because technically I don't have real lips -- but I give Mom kisses like the ones she gives me. Instead of licking (like just about every other dog on the planet does... BOR-ING!), I close up my mouth really tight, and then I stick my neck out and touch her lips with mine. My kisses are nice and gentle, just like Mom's are when she kisses me! When I'm feeling particularly lovey, I give her a bunch of little Monkey Kisses all at once all over her cheeks and lips, or sometimes I just give her one GREAT BIG GIANT MONKEY KISS that I smear around and around so she knows that I love her very, very much!

Daddy says now that I smooch like a primate, I give Monkey Kisses. Hey, Daddy? What the heck is a primate??

Love,
Fargus
xxxxx (five kisses, all monkey)

 

Eek! I've been vaccinated!!!

August 13th 2005 9:44 pm
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Or so I'm told. I was sorta too busy to notice. At the same time I was getting shots in my buttal area, I was enjoying big hugs from Sarah the Vet Tech (oh yeah -- she loves me!), scarfing loads of treats from Mom's hand (she loves me, too!), and figuring out how I could sneak into the hallway to find those kitties I kept hearing (THEY WERE DRIVING ME CRAZY!). Dr. Joel said my tail never stopped wagging, and Mom was really proud of me for taking my shots like a big, brave boy. What Mom doesn't know is that shots don't feel like much of anything when you have giant turkey legs like I do.

In other news, my new diet doesn't seem to be going too well. I weigh 67 pounds, and Dr. Joel said I was "slightly overweight." And then he gave me lots of treats. Geez, Doc, don't you know that if you feed me, I will eat?! Mom said I looked like I was having a "chubby day." It might have something to do with the dirt Dad let me eat the other day.

Are there lots of calories in dirt?

Love,
Fargus
xoxoxo

 

Yay! Dad's car!

August 8th 2005 8:45 pm
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Daddy and I rode all around town tonight! We rocked, we rolled, and all in all, it was a really fun ride! Anything I get to do with Daddy is fun, but I'd have liked the trip even better if he'd given me one of those super-sweet kiwi smoothie things he picked up. They looked so good I tried to charm one out of the lady at the drivethrough. I think I almost had her until Daddy kiboshed the heck out of that one.

I also got to take a fake car ride tonight. I sat in the bucket seat while Daddy changed something called "the battery." It wasn't nearly as exciting as the real thing, but I did get to sit behind the wheel.

When we got home, I had to run through the sprinkler to get inside. There's nothing I hate more than getting wet, but I did it anyway. When I came in the house, sopping wet and in my harness, Mom said I looked like I'd been whitewater rafting and she called me her adventure dog. I like the sound of that, so I've decided that if anyone wants to call me "Adventure Dog," I will answer.

It's time to say goobye for now. Adventure Dog is very tired.

Love,
Fargus

P.S. Hey, drivethrough lady! If you see this, hook me up next time, okay? Thanks! 'Bye!

 

I'm on a diet

July 21st 2005 8:27 am
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I gained 10 pounds. Yay! Ten pounds! I LOOOOOOOVE my extra fat! There's much more of me to love, and the extra cushion makes rolling around even more fun because of my built-in padding!

Unfortunately, Mom disagrees.

I am now eating senior food. Can you believe it?!? SENIOR food! For ME! I totally act like a puppy, and I'm eating SENIOR FOOD! How crazy is that?!

By the way, I really like senior food. Mom and Dad put little chunks of canned food in the bottom of my bowl so when I'm eating my kibble, I get lots of moist, savory surprises!

I've been on the rockin' new diet for about a month now, and Mom and Dad say I already look trimmer. Jake has his next visit with Dr. Julie on August 2nd. Mom says I'm going, too, so I can get weighed.

In the meantime, I will muddle through, biting the bullet and eating whatever's in front of me, even if happens to be that delicious senior diet. ;°)

Love,
Fargus
xoxo

 
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