Raven speaks

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Wish you were here...

October 1st 2009 12:11 pm
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Hi Mom and Dave,

I hope you're not so sad today. I made it to the Rainbow Bridge just like you said, and real quick too! Guess what? Grampa was already here waiting for me! Right away he cooked me up some hot dogs in butter and then afterwards he helped me find a perfect spot to dig a great big hole. Grampa says later on today we're going for hikies and swimmies and that he might even give me some CHEEEEESE for dessert!

Thanks for taking care of me when I was sick. I know you wanted me to stick around longer but it was getting too hard. Be nice to Tonka because he's not too bright and you are going to have your hands full trying to get him straightened out. Now don't tell him I said this but I really did like the Little Monster. Still, he needs an awful lot of work so good luck with that!

Anyway, I'm glad all my pain finally went away and now I can run and play and kick butt just like the old days. Gotta go, grampa's calling. See you when you get here!

Love,
Raven

 

Unbelievable!

May 25th 2009 6:52 am
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I cannot believe it.

This morning I was just laying on the floor in the family room, absolutely, positively minding my OWN business when along comes the Little Monster (aka Tonka). He proceeded to back himself up into me, then he SAT right on my NECK! I nearly suffocated!

Mom told him to get off me but then she started laughing. It was most definitely NOT funny! Someone could have been hurt, you know (me that is).

The boy has no manners. Really, it is quite pathetic.

 

Oh, brother.

May 4th 2009 7:11 am
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Okay, so I found out what a little brother is. I was right. I don't need one. He's a cute little fellow but he obviously knows nothing about how he is supposed to act in MY house. He also does not seem to know or care about the fact that I have TENURE. Yes, that's right Tonka. Tenure. Look it up. And stop trying to lord it over me that you're younger and more spry and have lots more energy. It definitely will not work with me. I'm absolutely not impressed.

Mom said I have to be more flexible and try to adapt. I'll give it a try but absolutely no promises here. I was NOT consulted on this decision and I do NOT approve. I believe it's important to reiterate this point at every opportunity.

Oh, and he eats a lot too. Wow. He's totally cutting into my supply of yummies. Not good. Not good at all.

 

What's a little brother?

April 24th 2009 1:54 pm
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Sorry, I've been away for a while... been busy sleeping and stuff like that. I'm getting older now so pretty much I think I'm entitled to sleep at least 18 hours a day. Don't you agree?

Anyway, last night mom and Dave told me they are getting me a "little brother." What the heck is that? Do they taste good, like yummies or chewies or cookies? If they don't taste good, I'm just not sure I actually need or want a little brother.

Apparently this little brother is coming sometime next week. Why do we have to wait so long? Do they need a delivery truck or something? 'Cause I really hate delivery trucks, you know.

So, if somebody knows what a little brother is, please let me know. Only please don't wake me up for at least a couple more hours. Thanks.

 

Suitcases are evil

October 21st 2006 4:45 am
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I should have known as soon as I saw the suitcase come down from the attic. It's never good news. There they were, packing it full of clothes and stuffing some of their weird household items into the evil thing.

Next they brought in a complete stranger to meet me. Petsitter, they said. Whatever that means. I used to go for fun vacations to my grampa's house but mom says he's gone, somewhere so far away that we can't visit him any more. Where did my grampa go? Now there was a guy who knew how to treat a dog. Hot dogs and bologna and cheese every day. He totally understood why I did not want to eat the nasty dry crap they erroneously call "dog food."

Anyway, early one morning they took the suitcase and left. I figured they were just going to that same place they go every day, wherever that is, and would be back later to feed me dinner.

Then the petsitter arrived. She was mostly pretty nice. At least she knew where all the chewies and treats were located. Otherwise, she would have been completely useless to me. I needed some nourishment and diversions while I worried, worried, worried about the fate of my humans.

Mom and Dave were gone for about a hundred years, maybe even two hundred. By this time I was sure they were dead. Then one day, with absolutely no warning, they returned. Oh my, I was so happy to see them!

The suitcase is going back in the attic today. I hope it never comes down again. It is truly evil.

 

Walkies all around town!

September 1st 2006 11:18 am
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Well, I passed my x-rays and for the past month now I've been going for regular walkies again! Woofity! Mom and Dave have been taking me on some of my favorite walks and I'm having such a good time! It's a good thing too, because I got really, really, really far behind on my sniffing. It's going to take me FOR-E-VER to catch up! I get kinda tired still but I'm going farther all the time. And they keep hinting that pretty soon I will get to go the dog park again and run wild and free! I hope it's soon 'cause I miss the dog park so bad!

 

Feeling better every day!

July 7th 2006 6:02 am
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A couple of weeks ago, mom took me in to have some weird staples removed from my bad leg. Then miraculously after that, I didn't have to wear the lampshade any more! Wooooooofffff! But for some inexplicable reason, I'm still confined to the house and I'm just not sure if they plan to let me use my doggy door ever again. That's okay though. Mom says in a couple of weeks after I get another checkup and something called x-rays, we can start going for walkies! DoubleWooooooofffff!!! And my bad leg is starting to be an almost-good leg now, so I'm ready to hit the trail!

 

From bad to worse...

June 14th 2006 1:34 pm
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As if the surgery wasn't bad enough. Then it was the purple leg. Being locked up behind a baby gate in the house. Not to mention all the pain. Now there is a new torture: I have to wear a stupid lampshade on my head! Dave removed the purple leg thingy and I thought I was home free. But then mom said I would probably lick that horrible wound they put on my leg. Well of course I will... how else does she expect it to get any better? These people just don't know diddly squat about dogs, I tell you. Oh well, no matter. I can endure just about anything. I've adopted a Zen approach, just staring blankly at the closest wall for as long as this thing is on my head. But if anyone is reading this, I beg you to call the humane society or someone, anyone, about these lampshade thingies. If they are not illegal, they need to be. Soon! Really! I'm serious! Hurry!

 

My purple leg

June 10th 2006 12:55 pm
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Well, I survived surgery. Mom brought me home yesterday and now I have to hobble around the house with some crazy purple thing stuck to my leg. I'm not allowed to leave the house except to go potty and they put up a baby gate to keep me locked in one boring old room. My leg hurts even worse than it did before and to make things worse, those evil veterinarian people not only shaved my bad leg but they completely shaved the fur off half my butt! It's humiliating. Dave took a picture of me so you could see for yourself. Now, I want all you pups to understand what can happen when you let your humans make decisions for you. Keep an eye on them at all times. Listen to what they are talking about too. You just never know what horrible things they might have planned for you. (As a side note though, the pain drugs are pretty good! :-)

 

My bad leg

June 5th 2006 6:36 pm
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Mom took me to the vet again TWICE last week. I guess a couple weeks ago when I was chasing a cat I totally blew out the knee on my bad leg and now I can't hardly walk. Mom and Dave keep calling me Tripod (which is really kinda rude!) because I hop around on three legs now. Anyway, mom is taking me in for something called surgery and I know it's going to be just awful! But she says that after my bad leg gets better I'll be able to go for hikies and swimmies and romping at the dog park again. So that's a good thing! Wish me luck (and oh by the way I almost got that cat!).

 
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