The Biscuit Diaries
(Page 30 of 40: Viewing Diary Entry 291 to 300)
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DAY 117, Tuesday, 7/3/12July 4th 2012 6:10 am[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ] Today I helped Bob with his homework…you know, from obedience class. We’re getting better at heeling all the time, though Bob still hasn’t learned that chasing after other dogs takes priority over staying religiously by his side. We also worked on “drop it.” Bob gives me my favorite bone with the “take it” command, and then he tells me to “drop it” as he offers me an even better treat. The thing is, I’m so good at that game that I always drop the bone even before he has a chance to say “drop it.” He tries to use the same command outside to get me to drop things I may have picked up with my mouth, but I’m not that stupid. The “drop it” command is for treats and treats only. Don’t offer me a good treat, and I ain’t gonna drop nuttin’.
DAY 116, Monday, 7/2/12July 3rd 2012 6:01 am[ Leave A Comment ] Poor Bob. Poor, poor Bob. Remember that training collar with the nose guard, the one I detest so much, the one that Bob exchanged twice and then lost before he had to go back to the store and replace again? Well, today Bob took me out for a walk with that darn thing, and when we returned, he put the collar over the door knob as usual. Then, later, when he went to get it again, it was gone. He just knew that I had taken it and buried it someplace. He looked all over the apartment—two and three times—without success. Finally, he remembered that he had set it down so that he could go back and adjust the straps, but where? He eventually found it right where he had left it, not on the door knob, but on his desk next to his laptop. I swear, that boy would lose his head if it wasn’t Velcroed on.
DAY 114, Sunday, 7/1/12July 2nd 2012 6:21 am[ Leave A Comment ] Two squirrels live in the tree in front of our apartment. The other day when I was taking Bob for a walk, we came upon one of the squirrels standing on the ground. We stared at each other for a few seconds until he decided to scamper up the tree, and I didn’t even chase after him. Does that mean I’m getting old? I should ask Bob. He’s an expert on that sort of thing.
DAY 113, Saturday, 6/30/12July 1st 2012 6:17 am[ Leave A Comment ] I feel so sorry for Tony. He seems to have developed the impression that I love Bob more than him. Every morning, when Tony gets up before Bob, I always walk over and say hello to him. I used to let him take me out for my morning constitutional, but I’ve learned how important that morning time is to him, so now I just stroll over to the bedroom door and wait for Bob to wake up. When Bob finally does get up, Tony says I act like the sun has risen, but by then, I really do have to go out. And, yes, it’s true: when the guys are both sitting on the couch, I always curl up at Bob’s feet, but it’s not because I love him more than Tony. It’s just that it didn’t take me long to figure out that Bob is an easier patsy than Tony.
DAY 112, Friday, 6/29/12June 30th 2012 8:52 am[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ] I heard Tony talking with one of our neighbors today. She was complaining about all the crickets she was getting in her apartment, as many as 150 a day. We only get five or six. I wonder if she would trade apartments with us. Nah, come to think of it, that would be too easy. After all, the thrill is actually in the hunt, eh?
DAY 111, Thursday, 6/28/12June 29th 2012 5:51 am[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]
I’ve just learned that this is National Mental Health Awareness Week, which is soooooooooo appropriate since I’m living in a house full of crazy people. Tony talks to people who live inside that big head of his, and Bob has actually convinced himself that he’s smarter than I am. Well, you be the judge.
DAY 110, Wednesday, 6/27/12June 28th 2012 11:18 am[ Leave A Comment ]
Bob did really well in class tonight. In one exercise, he told me to wait at one end of the store aisle while he walked to the other end. I stayed in place the whole time. Then, still facing the other way, he called me, and I ran straight to him. Now, here’s the trick. All the other dogs in our class were lined up along the aisle, and I completely ignored them. Of course, it didn’t hurt that Bob had a handful of treats waiting for me at the other end.
DAY 109, Tuesday, 6/26/12June 27th 2012 5:30 am[ Leave A Comment ] I was right again—as usual. Bob dropped me off at the vet’s office yesterday morning. At first, I thought I was there to be prodded and poked, but it turns out that they have kennels for boarding, so Bob left me there while he and Tony went to play at Schlitterbahn, a German water park between Austin and San Antonio. They really should have taken me with them. I could have been a big help. After all, I am half German. Well…they left me overnight. I got a bath the next morning, and Bob picked me up around noon. I was so excited, I nearly wet my pants…if I’d had any pants, that is. I wasn’t sure whether to be upset with Bob for leaving me or just to be happy that he’d come back for me.
DAY 108, Monday, 6/25/12June 26th 2012 8:30 am[ Leave A Comment ] Something’s up. I can smell it. Bob and Tony have been packing their little bags, and I have a hunch they’re going somewhere. The question is: are they going to take me with them?
DAY 106, Saturday, 6/23/12June 24th 2012 10:58 am[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ] I had a much harder time finding crickets today, which tells me just one thing: it’s so doggone hot that the crickets have gone inside in search of air conditioning.
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