Back on My Birthday!

Hullo Dogster friends! It is I, little King Milo, and I have returned to say Happy Birthday to myself! I miss talking to you all. My life as a King and big bruther to The Little Prince is very complix, you know. Anyway, today I am THIRTEEN YERS OLD! We had a party with a cake and bulloons and pin the tail on the donkee and everything. Mummy said this birthday made her happy and sad. I don't know why that is but maybe it's because she didn't get to eat enuff cake or something.

Goodbye, my friend

I bow my head to you, dear old Dogster friend Tim. Take good care of Winnie in Doggie Heaven. We will all miss you.

Crazy Magic in the Kingdom

There is some strong magic going on in the new kingdom. For the longest time I was confused by all of our new doggy nayboors. They all have these big, bootiful lawns and lotsa space to run around, but none of them ever want to come and say hello. Here's what I mean: Mummy will be walking me down the sidewalk and we see our nayboors Miss Daisy and Miss Lucy playing outside. They start to run up to us to say hello, but then...they stop. "Come down to the street and see me! Come down to the sidewalk and play!" I say, but they stop at the edge of their driveway and don't go any further. Hmph. I would normalee just pass this off as total roodness, but the same thing happens when we see Loud Lily across the way, and big ol' Bo Bear and Boomer across the street. What IS this strong magic that keeps dogs from wandering off their lawns? At first, I thot maybe Mummy had developt some Jedi powers and was using The Force to keep unruly doggies at bay. But then I realized she wouldn't be wasting her Jedi powers on stuff like that if she had them. She'd be making cupcakes appear or whatever instead. Anyway, one day I notissed that all of these dogs had strange block-shaped collars around their necks. Could they be robots? Remote controls? This, too, seemed unlikely I gess (altho it would be kinda cool to think that all of my new doggy friends were robots!). Finalee Mummy told me the secret- INVISIBLE FENCES! I said, sherly Mummy, you must be jokng. How can a fence be invisible? So she explaint that the fences were not really invisible (I knew it!) but that they were UNDERGROWND. A-ha, I see! So now I am just trying to figger out who puts these fences undergrownd. Is it like gnomes or trolls or something? And how do I keep them from putting these undergrownd fences on my lawn? Bribery? Do I have to leave them some of my toys or a sacrifice or something?

That's not a popsicle, it's a Pukesicle!

If you read my diary entry from my birthday, then you know we had a big ice storm here in the new kingdom. Yeah, well, that dumb old ice is still here! The cool thing about our new castle is that we akchualee have a GARAGE and a BIG, LONG DRIVEWAY that's a lot of fun to run down on a sunny day. But we haven't been doing much running around here- not even much walking! That huge long driveway has been an ICEway for the past cuple of days. And I don't know about you, but walking downhill on an icy driveway is just not on my list of fun things to do. So I've been forced to poop in hyoomiliating places like my own deck and on the side of the ROAD! Oh, how emberessing! Well I have the best Mummy in the world because while the Little Prince was napping today (and he hardlee ever does this, so Mummy gave up some prime time for me), she went out to the driveway with a shovel and some other devices and crackt and chippt and crackt at that ice on the WHOLE DRIVEWAY and cleered it just for me! She was so excititid when she finalee finisht, that she ran inside and said, "Come on out, Milo, the driveway is cleer!" So I jumpt up from the sofa and ran to the door. Only I musta jumpt up too fast or something, because as soon as I steppt out onto the driveway I didn't feel so good. I walkt around for a few minuts and Mummy said, "So whaddya think, Milo?" I tried to hold it back but I let out a sound like this: "Aaaackkk!" and then I puked! Right on Mummy's newly shoveled driveway! I was so upset that I didn't even get to go peepee or poopy on my new iceless space. I stood there shivering until Mummy carried me inside.

I did get to go out again later when I felt better. And who knew? My puke was FROZIN SOLID right there on the driveway! It was a pukesicle! Gross, but impressive, no?

The "ICE"ing on My Cake!

Hullo everybuddy! Guess what? I am ohfishullee TWELVE!! Yup, in case you forgot, February 2nd is not just Groundhog Day, it is also MY BIRTHDAY! Woo hooooo! Now normalee one would ekspect a party or some cake and ice creem to celubrate the big day. I certinly did not get any ice creem, I got an ICE STORM instead! ACK! Can you imagine? I wake up on my OWN BIRTHDAY and I can't even walk outside to take a peepee without falling on my handsum face because everything outside was FROZIN! The one good thing about the ice storm is that it trappt Mummy and the Little Prince in the house ALL DAY, so they threw me a speshul Milo party. They made a cake shaped like my head and had party plates with little monkeys on them. They made me a birthday sign and blew up lots of colored balloons (the Little Prince and I had a blast with those!). So I guess I can't complane too much about the ice.

So thanks to everyone who sent me heppy birthday wishis. I don't feel a day over 5 and a half either. If anyone would like a peece of cake, we still have some left to share. But since the cake was shapet like my head, I think only the eyes and the ears are left. But don't worry, it's still deelishus!

I Bow My Head to You, My Friends

Hello my dear furry friends. I'm sorree that I am not holding up my end of the bargin. I try and try to get to the computer to type a new entree, but you know how it goes.

Anyway, the hollydays are quickly approaching and I know it's a time for prezints and cookies and fat men in red soots and stuff, but I have to take a momint to bow my head and recognize my friends who have passed on to the Rainbow Bridge.

My cousin, J.B., I don't even know what to say. We miss her every day. No one could run like her. She was as fast as light-en-ing! There is a big empty hole in the world where she was. Mummy can't talk about her without crying.

My dear friend Winnie. I am so sad that I did not know of your passing until now. I send much love and lots o' kisses to your familee. Tim and Star must miss your sweet face.

Our old nayboor Daisy. I know you and I always acted indiffrint to one another, but you were still my friend. I'm glad Mummy got to see you one last time before you crossed over. She said you held your head up to the wind and smiled.

And to a distant new friend who was also just like me, Milo, I'm sorree I never got to meet you, but Liza and Sweetie told me you were a very speshul terrier indeed.

Sadly, I know there might be more friends I have lost that I don't even know about. If your familees want to drop me a paw mail to say hello, I would be happy to send them some love, too.

And so I leave you all with an excerpt (isn't that a big word for me to know?) from the book "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant, and ask that you bow your heads for a minute, too, to remember our friends, who are smiling down on us as we speak:

"...When Dogs go to Heaven, they don't need wings because God knows that dogs love running best.

He Gives them fields. Fields and fields and fields. When a dog first arrives in Heaven, he just runs.

Dog Heaven has clear, wide lakes, filled with geese who honk and flap and tease. The dogs love this. They run beside the water and bark and bark and God watches them from behind a tree and smiles..."

One More Lesson

And here's one more lesson learned:

6- You are not supposto eat Play-doh.

Some New Lessons

Here are some things I learned while ahjusting to life in my new kingdom. Perhaps you, too, will find these lessons useful or whatever.

1- You should not eat half-cooked, old hamburger meat out of the garbage can (Mummy said I should have learned this in the old kingdom, but nobody's perfekt!)

2- If you are going to throw up, you shouldn't do it on the stairs.

3-If you are going to eat half-cooked hamburger meat out of the garbage, don't let anyone see you do it (Mummy didn't teech me that one, I sorta just threw it in)

4-Just because the dogs akross the street are barking, it doesn't mean you have to bark, too.

5-You are not supposto drag your heiney across the carpet when guests are over, espeshullee if those guests are little baby people.

OK that's all I can think of for now, but I'm sher there's more because I'm always gettin' yelled at for something around here!

The New Castle

As King of a new kingdom, it is my dooty to figure out what I like best about my new castle. So I have desididid to try out every sleeping spot I can find in order to determin which one I like best. Since we have moved to the new castle, Mummy has discovered me in the following nap spots (and sometimes she can't find me at all, and she calls, "Milo, Milo, where are you?" until I come a-running). Anyway, here's where I have been napping lately:

-on the laundry room floor
-in front of the back door (very sunny!)
-on the stairs
-at the top of the stairs
-on the landing of the stairs (gotta try 'em all, you know)
-on the Little Prince's rocking chair in his bedroom
-under Mummy and Deddy's bed
-under the side table in the TV room (good place to go during a storm)
-in front of the garage door (too chilly)
-on the sofa in the sitting room (I can see out the front window here and I like to bark at the mailman or whatever)
-on the ottoman (we never had one of these before! It's deeelightfull)
-in the downstairs bathroom (yeh, I don't know what that was all about)
-under the kitchin table
-under the coffee table
-in the Little Prince's play pirate tent in the basement (a BASEMENT! We akchualee have a BASEMENT with a PIRATE TENT in it!!!)
-on the deck outside (AND we have a DECK! Can ya beeleef it?)
-in the Little Prince's closet
-under the kiddie table in the playroom

There are just so many rooms compared to our old castle (in fact, now that I think about it, was that even a castle at all?). How on earth will I have time to try them all out?

The Surgery (ewww!)

WARNING: This diary entry might inclood some icky stuff that makes you say "Ewwww!" and gasp, "Oh, no!" And you might wind up feeling very sorry for me by the time you read the whole thing through. So if you are bit squeemish in yer tummy or you don't think you can handle the whole traumatik expeerience, then you should just stop reading right now.

Phew, now that I got that out of the way, let me tell you about my surgery and why my face lookt so a-scary in the pictures on my page. I was supposto go to the doctor so they could take my one bad toothie out and fix up my face that was still oozing blood and pus and maybe some dog food, too. Mummy was so sad the day that she had to drop me off at the doctor's. I didn't know what she was worried about because I was excited to see all of the pritty nurses and see what was behind the magik door that the doctor always appeered out of. Mummy thot that once she handed me over to the nurse that I would cry and look back at her sadly, but I kind of forgot to do that. I went with wagging tail and happyness, since I was certain that they would not be able to get the toothie out anyway, and that I would be getting lots of attenshun because I am just so handsum and charming.

I don't remember much after that, except that I woke up feeling a little bit sore and that Mummy was there to pick me up. When she saw me, she smiled with glee and then kind of went, "Ewww! His face is still bleeding!" (turns out my wound had to "drain" so they really couldn't do anything about it. An open. bleeding, blobby wound on my handsum face? Didn't they KNOW who I WAS? Geez.). Anywho, after that, I peed all over the waiting room floor and all over the feet of a teknishin, and then I went home.

Mummy cuddled me and the Little Prince was very nice to me. Deddy was happy I was home, too. Mummy made me mushy food to eat, and she said - brace yourselfs here- "Oh, Milo, I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so sorry that they had to pull out six of your teeth!" I think that's when my eyeballs bugged out of my head like a cartoon. SIX TEETH?! I thot they were supposto pull out ONE bad tooth! ONE! Why was everyone being so calm about this? Shouldn't we be calling the doctor and telling him he cleerly made a MISTAKE???? I lookt at Mummy to see if she was kidding. "They can put those teeth back in, right?" I asked. And the sad trooth I learnt is that you CAN'T put teeth BACK once they have been pulled OUT! Who knew? So here I am, king of a new kingdom, missing six teeth. Sigh. The injustice is almost too much to bear, isn't it?