July 16th 2005 9:53 am
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Things are very weird. Mom & Dad are howling. The rest of the kitties are meowing. Kermie snaps at me if I breathe wrong. But worst of all is that Big Brudder Motor-cat is gone forever. Kermit sez he crossed the Rainbow Bridge yesterday & no, we can't go with him. I know he didn't feel well last week. Mom came home from the firehouse early spent all her time doing her work thing with him & she never left his side. There were beepie machines & smelly medicines & sharp-pokey needles. Then, last night Motor & Mom went to the Dr's & she came home without him. Mom sat everyone down & explained that Mo's body couldn't survive his surgery & she & Dr Tracey helped him go to the Bridge. She promised all of us that it wasn't a bad thing & that someday we'll all get to go there & cause problems as usual.
I wish I could make everybuddy not howl. I'm going to miss Motor teaching me. He was very kewl & he wasn't like a cat at all.
I'm gonna go chew or dig something up, or slobber a kitty so I can keep up to the standards Motor taught me. G'bye Big Brudder, see you again someday!
April 21st 2005 8:41 am
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See, we went to the Ranch for Branding and Kermit was all kinds of excited. He never woofs at all and he woofed and whined for a half hour when we got close. So I figured it was gonna be real wonderful. We went to the Ranch a couple of times before, but Mom and Kermit said I was too small to help, so I sat in the truck with Grandpa-Floyd. This time Mom said Kermit was supposed to teach me how to be a contributing member of the pack.
First, Uncle Glen and Mom and Dad and Kermit and I went in the truck to find the Big-Dogs. When we found them out by the windmill (the stock tanks, Mom said) I just had to jump out of the truck and sniff them. Had to had to had to. But, y'know what? They SNIFFED BACK!!! and they are HUGE!!!!! There were a bazillion of them and their paws are hard and sharp and they don't care if they moosh puppies. They smell like grass, too. How can they be Big-Dogs if they eat only grass?
Dad had to get out of the truck and chase me to put me back in the truck. That's when Kermit started laughing at me and he hasn't stopped yet. Kermit said I was dumb to think the Big-Dogs were gonna hurt me on purpose. He said I need to learn to love them because they're the ones that take Mom for long runs that we get to go along on. And just because they're called Big-Dog doesn't mean they heel or herd like Kermit said we're supposed to.
OK, so then Uncle Glen and Dad brought the Big-Dogs in to the place where there's lots of yummy poo to roll around in. Then Mom sat on one!!! She was sooooo far up I could hardly tell it was her. And then she whistled Kermit to her and I was supposed to go too, but I didn't want the Big-Dog to step on me, so I got hollered at for not coming. Suddenly, Mom and the Big-Dog took off running and Kermit was running too and I was flabbergasted. Mom had to bring the Big-Dog back and holler at me again and Kermit yowled at me too.
Finally, I was gettting the hang of running near the Big-Dog and we suddenly saw the big black things, The Cowz. Ooooh, they smelled sooooo yummy, just like the lovely poo I like to roll in. But y'know what? Know what? They're mean and they kick at puppies. Kermit said that's why I'm so short, so I can go in and Heel them and they miss when I nip and they kick. Kermit doesn't Heel, he barks and runs to the side he wants them to move away from. He has to run a lot, but he can make 'em do all kinds of things: like, get out of the pointy-sharp trees; go into the corral (that's the Cow Kennel, Kermie said); and he makes 'em go into Chute one at a time and Mom and Uncle Glen do doctor things to them. (Dad thumps them with a skinny stick. If they don't listen to me when I Heel them, what makes him think his skinny stick is gonna make them listen better?)
Anyhowl, for two days I hadda chase the Cowz with Kermie and the Big-Dog. Cowz make lots of noise and yummy smelly stuff, but the really big ones are stoopid and they stepped on me and one picked me up with his head and threw me up against the swimmie-drinking pool. Mom said he surpised me, I didn't get hurt, but I just didn't want to get close enough for him to do it again.
On the second day, Dad and Kermie made all the Mouse (ME! MOUSE!) sized Cowz go in a kennel by themselves. (Kermie said the Mouse-sized ones are calves and that's all I'm good for Heeling, are calves, cuz I'm a scaredy-pup). Then Mom and Uncle Glen and a whole buncha cousins did all kindsa doctor stuff to them. They got poked by medicine, neutered if they were boys (Ha Ha), and their hair was burned with something that told other humans they belong to the Ranch.
It was a reeeeallly long day and I wasn't even allowed to eat the hot dogs the kids dropped at the Feed after the Work was done. And I got hollered at a lot; Watch Out, Don't You DARE Eat That, COME HERE, SITZ, Knock It Off, Get Outta The Truck. I only got GOOOOODGIRRRRL when I Heeled the Mouse-size ones, but I decided I didn't wanna do that much. It's nicer sitting with Grandpa-Floyd in the truck. He gives me tummy rubbies and lets me have half his lunch and I don't have to run to go with him.
Oh, and Mom was really mean. She made Uncle JohnLynn pick me up and put me on the Big-Dog with her. It was really high up and the Big-Dog doesn't like me either. How come Kermie didn't hafta get up on the Big-Dog?? Not fair.
Then, y'know what? Know what? Know what? After all that work, Heeling, Yipping and getting hollered at, running, chasing...We got all the Cowz in the kennel and the humans made the Cowz yell and then they LET THEM GO!!!!!
And Kermit said we gotta go back in a couple of weeks and chase all the Cowz over to summer grazing.
She can't make me. I'm not gonna get squooshed by the Big-Dogs again and I'm not gonna Heel and duck every three steps when I can just sit in Grandpa-Floyd's lap and play with the people-puppies. NOT GONNA CAN'T MAKE ME!!!! I donwanna be a cattle dog. I like being a pick-up-truck-dog.
February 21st 2005 9:57 pm
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"K, so it was too windy to go to ACADEMY. So, y'know what? Know what? Know what? Mom took us to town in Car and she said I was still gonna get some training.
Well, Kermie thought that it was gonna be great, but boy is he miffed now. I didn't think it was so wunderbunny either. I had to wear the leash and Mom took me into a bunch of people places with lotsa smells and all I was allowed to do was act like Mommy was the only thing in the world. When she walked, I could walk. When she stopped I had to sit stay. Then, y'know what? Know what? Know what? There were good-smelly peoples and Mom wouldn't let me examine them and she made them ask to pet me and I couldn't go play with the people-puppies I saw and and and it WASN'T FAIR!!!!
Kermie's fur is ruffled cuz Mom made him "watch 'em" outside in Car and he didn't get to go in the people places with me. He said that used to be his job, to supervise Mommy in the big people kennels. He wouldn't even share Ball with me when we got home tonight.
Plus, he's growly at me cuz I made Mom yell and she has Larry-gytuss. Cuz cuz cuz we were having a potty break, and it takes me forever - I don't like to whee on the end of leash, too many smellies to check out first- and there were these weird looking bunnies and I had to chase 'em. Had to had to had to. But they were soooo weird looking. They only had two paws, and their necks were really stretchy and they went "whooonk" and they ran off up into the sky. And when I went to go heel them, leash got away from Mom and suddenly Mom wasn't right next to me and she was squeaking NEIN and AUS and FERSE. So, Kermie yarped at me too and so I went back to Mom and she smelled all scared and hugged me and told me WHATTAGOODGIRL and then Kermie said I almost got bitten by some strange herd of Cars and I was lucky I remembered what nein and aus mean. Then Mom took me over to the black flat place and made me feel all crawly inside and told me NO NO NO NO. So I licked her and smiled my best ACD smile and said I was sorry I made her smell scared.
On the way home, Kermie sat on me and wouldn't talk to me and then he wouldn't let me play with Ball when we got home.
Mom hasn't said anything since the weird- bunnies-in-the-sky either. She just squeaks. She had some nice hot wet chicken juice too and she REALLY squeaked when I tried to share it.
Motor is laughing at me. I'm gonna go in my cave and hide for a while.