Attention Deficit Dog Ramblings

Thank you, all

December 25th 2013 4:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Thank you to everyone who sent me the wonderful gifts for Thanksgiving and Christmas...I am sorry I am not on here too much anymore, but I do appreciate the thought!

Jasp

 

Knock knock is anyone there?

September 4th 2011 9:15 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Yooo hooooooo

I'm just checkin' in.

I've not had too many dogs to talk to on here. I haven't really met too many dogs on here. It's a little hard to communicate in this format.

 

My greatest barking hits

February 22nd 2011 6:50 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Hey, everybody. Here's some of my best barking techniques.
Did I miss any? Feel free to tell me yours.

:D

Barooooo wooo wooo wooo woooooooo. Barooooo woo woo woo wooooo

rrrrrrwoof rrrrrrrwooof rrrrrrwoof

roooooo roo roo rooo.......roooooo roo roo roo

WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP

whuf...whuf..

RARARARARARARARARARARARARARARAAAAA
RAR ARARARARARARARARARRAAAAAAAAA

 

Gettin' lectured for stuff I didn't do...

February 21st 2011 5:20 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Have ya ever been lectured for stuff you didn't even do?

Today I had to hear a speech about the new pillow cases and bed comforter.

My ma: "See these? I'm not replacin' them again. Yakity yak yak Yakity yak..."

Just then I jumped up on the bed hard enough so I could bounce up in the air. Just to see if the new pillow cases and comforter worked like the old ones.

Yep! They work.

Now the two-legger starts goin' even more.

"YAK YAK YAK YAK YAK YAK."

It was like on Charlie Brown when the teacher keeps yakking at everybody.

The thing is, I didn't do anything to rip the pillow cases or snag up the comforter and I there I was, bein' lectured for it.

I know what happened to the last ones but there never was any "proof" that I did it.

And I sure didn't do it today.

Now tomorrow, that's another story.

hehehehheeehee

 

Whadaya think about squirrels

February 20th 2011 6:48 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Whadaya think about squirrels?

My Jack Russell friend, Jack, came up with that brilliant opener. For the past three years, I’ve watched him ask it over and over.

And I’ve never heard a dog give a squirrel a good review. The squirrels are everywhere; they even have the audacity to come into our dog parks and yards. Squirrels like to stand right where we know we can’t get ‘em. They run along our fences and screech at us while they’re up in the trees. They enjoy staying just out of reach as we jump up and bark at them.

Another reason squirrels stink is they’re the whole reason leashes were invented. If there was nothin’ to chase, we wouldn’t need to be on leashes now, would we? Stupid squirrels…

One time, a squirrel fell out of a tree right while I was standin’ there. This is what I call a squirrel with a death wish. He plopped right out of a gigantic maple tree. The fall didn’t kill the squirrel, but he was kinda stunned.

The squirrel just laid on the ground real still for a moment and my two-legger looked at me and I looked at her.

“JASPER!!!!”

Too late. I was already on it.

Not only did the squirrel fall, he fell inside a fence and he couldn’t get out. I chased him up and down the fence with my two-legger screaming in the background. She thought I was gonna get hurt because the squirrel was fighting back. When I got him in a corner and he stood up on his hind legs and tried to bite me.

Then he found a little hole in the fence and got out. But it wasn’t over yet.

After my two-legger was done screamin’ I decided to bring her over a little souvenir. I managed to yank off about one-half of the squirrel’s tail in the process.

So I brought it over and dropped in on her shoe. Then she started screamin’ again.

You know, some humans are a part of the whole squirrel conspiracy.

One dog told us his two-legger likes to say “Look there’s a squirrel!” Just to watch the whole pack go barreling out the doggie door. Then his humans laugh and laugh at him and his two siblings. The last thing we need is people conspiring with squirrels.

He couldn’t figure out his humans thought it was so funny.

One time, I came up with the idea to make Woodchuck Pot Pie. That was another hit and Jack and I still ask that a lot, too. My idea for woodchuck pie came up because they're kinda grisly and they're best taken in bite-sized amounts. Putting other stuff with it also kills the woodchuck aftertaste. D :

Woodchucks are annoying in a different way from squirrels. Squirrels try to play games with you, but woodchucks are just fat and mean. They're also hard to get 'cause unlike squirrels you can't pick 'em up and shake 'em. They're just too big.

Even if ya get a woodchuck cornered, there isn’t much you can do with it. You better just hope the woodchuck doesn’t try to sit on ya.

We’ve got some pretty overweight squirrels in my neighborhood, too.

I guess that means I need to chase ‘em more so they can lose a little weight.

So…anybody here ever caught a squirrel or some other annoying rodent?

Bark at ya soon…

Jasp

You can read more of my blogs at alphadogblogger.com

 

Hello World!

February 14th 2011 2:41 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

I am really liking this site! I lost my fan page on Facebook, which had thousands of friends. Apparently, there was a huge purging of pet accounts over the weekend and I was one of them. Unfortunately.

Well, I have a new one now, but I'm looking forward to meeting everyone on here, as well.

I want to be in a place where dogs are welcome.

:P

Jasp

 
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