Thanks, Dogster & Dogster Furriends!

Dear Diary,

OMD! Beanie & Mama were up at the crack of the dawn today!

I don't know what Bacon & Papa are doing, but Mama and I have cleaning, baking, decorating, wrapping, birdie-feeding, and crafty-time stuff to do. This Chrissymess stuff, whew, The Bean are exhausted! Beanie works his little paws to the bone around this here Beesun place, being Mama's number one helper in evfurrythings.

Anyfur, we was up at the crack of the dawn, and I were laying across Mama's chest, between her & the iPad, helping her check the Facebook at six ay ems, when I readed that BEANIE were diary of the day.

Me & Mama clapped and cheered and hugged and smooched. Then Porky came bounding in, when he heard we was up, and he dive-bombed the blankies, and Mama nearly throwed up, cause he pounced on her belly. That silly Bacon. He's been eating too much birdie suet balls...and he don't need em! That doggie's nickname ain't "Fat Back" for nuthin'.

Diary of the Day, Chrissymess, a Gotcha Day, and 4 big huge uninterruptereded days of Mama & Bean time with no work to interferes??? This has got to be the best life evfur.

I has to run and help Mama get dressed now. What did that woman did without the Bean? Sheesh.

But before I goes, Beanie wants to say a big HUMUNGEROUS Thank You to evfurrydoggie & their peepoles for making me feel so special and loved with the presents and good wishes and wuffs for my Gotcha Day and these big Dogster Honorarials and stuff.

Oh, and Mama says I should also say, "The Beesuns wish all our most wonderfur furriends, a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Happy Gotcha Day, Bean-Bean, Tiny Satan & Mama's Angel

Never in the history of my universe have I known a more complicated dog than Beanie.

Unlike Bacon, who was a still a pup when we adopted him, an unusually happy pup, who was quick to smile and filled with joy, Beanie was at least 2 1/2 years old, maybe older.

He'd had a life already. And it was pretty tough.

Because he was a stray, who'd been seen around town for at least month, we didn't know much before of what he'd seen or endured. But what we learned was that he was terrified of men, he would growl and bite if you tried to take something from him, and that he'd most likely been hit by a car or suffered other traumatic injury to his back half.

Beanie was alternately a big, brash, tough guy, with a loud, sharp bark, and a deep scary growl, and a submissive, cowering, lost little soul, who could flatten himself out so much that it was like he melted into the ground.

And then there was me, struggling with depression, trying to find an exact duplicate of my Ernie George.

When they brought Beanie out from the back room at the warehouse, they put him in Ezra's lap, and I'll never forget the way my heart sunk at the first sight of him. That scrawny little thing was no Scottie. He was no bigger than a yorkie. I could barely look at him.

But we agreed to foster Beanie, and quickly hurried to the car. Ezra knew something was wrong. We got in the car and I said, "I don't want him." Ezra said nothing, but he had a horrible pained look on his face, both for me & for the dog who immediately jumped into my lap. My disappointment and sorrow was such that I could barely bring myself to pet him, but as depressed as I was, a dog in my lap is going to be petted.

He was staring up in to my face with these gigantic, saucer-like eyes as we pulled out of the parking lot. "What the heck kind of dog is he?" I asked, "Look at these eyes! We should call you Mr. Peepers. And his fur, oh my goodness, I've never felt fur this soft." I was defiantly perturbed by his "non-Scottieness" or more correctly "non-Ernieness" but I was taking the first measure of him in his Beanieness. "He's no Scottie...my God, look at that tiny little face. Have you ever seen a nose so small and eyes so big?"

The tiny little Bean was just sitting in my lap, staring up at me, used to new faces. Eager to be pet.

By the time we arrived at our driveway, we agreed we'd foster him, but that was all.

Then, flagrantly ignoring all practical advice on how to introduce a new dog to resident dogs, we opened the front door, let him in.

Beanie trotted in the front door like he owned the place, and ran into the living room, where out of a vast array of toys Bacon had strewn about, Beanie chose what is to this day his favorite toy, the pink purse with flowers, (a gift from Zaidie to Izzy B.) Beanie jumped up on the sofa, where he comically sat staring at us, holding a purse bigger than his whole head in his mouth.

Flash Forward, Two Years Later...

I wake in the morning to a furry soft Beanie muffler with a heart beat, wrapped around my neck. My first movement is greeted with licks and tails wags.

I have a constant companion, who spends hours with me in my craft room, supervising from HIS IKEA chair, covered in HIS special blankets. In the workshop in the basement, he crawls inside his sock monkey nesting bed, and lays at my feet while I work. If I forget something upstairs, he accompanies me to retrieve it.

My morning showers are closely monitored from the tiny nest Beanie's made of towels and discarded clothes.

If I have to use the facilities, Beanie is indignant if not allowed to sit on my lap.

When I am away, and Ezra comes home, Beanie waits patiently at the door for me, perplexed when I don't soon follow. He will stare at the door for quite some time, I'm told, even when coaxed away.

When he goes for walks with his papa, and comes back in the house, he has a routine of searching for me room by room, which Papa finds both funny and sad.

And at night when we go to sleep, Beanie insists on being nuzzled against me, human/doggie spooning, until I fall asleep. If I roll over, he will comically get up, walk over my back like a little billy goat scaling a mountain, and curl up against me again in the direction I'm facing. That is his spot. Lying curled up, facing the same direction with HIS MAMA.

This summer, we even took a road trip together, just Beanie & I. I made a little booster seat for him and he was my copilot, Mama & Bean cruising the open roads. He was a perfect companion.

The past two years have been difficult for me, as I have dealt with some issues of depression and anxiety that I guess I have had all my life, but was only forced to deal with once Ernie was gone.

I don't trust easily. I'm very nervous. I'm moody. I am needy and have abandonment issues. Beanie is very much my kindred spirit. How could I have known it at the time, but Beanie and I were very much destined to be together.

Slowly but surely he and I make progress. Often it's one step forward, two steps back. He actually bit me the other day...this little dog of mine who occupies so much of my heart and mind. And I was hurt and angry with him, but I quickly forgave him, and I tried to understand him, as I hope people forgive and try to understand me.

So today on the two year anniversary of the bitterly cold night we waited for Beanie for 4 hours to arrive by transport, I am extremely sentimental, grateful and filled with love for an extraordinary (to me) little street punk who has taught me so much about myself and about love.

Happy Gotcha Day, Bean-a-Ween! Mama loves you more than you'll ever know.

Beanie's Decorating Doodie

Dear Diary,

Yesterday when Mama came home from work, she walked in the door, wrinkled up her nose and said, "PEEEEEEYOU! Icky poo! It's stinkyroo in here!"

I think it must be that TURRIBLE, TURRIBLE, Coal-loans she wears. OMD! Evfurrytime she puts that stuff on, Bean-a-ween avoids her like the plagues. If I gets accidental transferances from the hugs, I roll around on the carpets like a mad man, trying to rub her coal-loan stink off.

Anyhow, Mama started looking around for her perfoooms, cause she wanted to find the turrible stink, and that's when she discovered the beeyooteeful artwork I tried to make for her.

I know how much Mama loves my doodies, on account of she saves evfurry single one in a little plastick baggie, and puts them in a big blue box. I think when Beanie gets to be real old, she will get scentymental and take them all out again to look at them or something.

But I digresses...Mama looked ovfur at her big tall planty stand, between the front door and the bathroom, and there on the bottom shelf, next to her pretty purple vase,was a big hoooooge custom Beanie DOODIE!!!

YAY BEANIE! So talented. It were hard work, making doodie on her plant stand. Some falled on the floor. But most got right front & center on her plant stand, with the pretty vases.

OMD!!! You should have heard how excited Mama got when she saw that! Beanie are so thoughtful!

Wednesday Bloody Wednesday

Dear Diary,

Mama's Boy Beanie knowed there were lots of attenshun being paid to Izzy B. yesfurday.

So just to bring the attenshun back to it's rightly place, Beanie hatcheded a nefarious plot!

I finded a way to cut myself on the door and bleeded all ovfur the house! So when Mama came home from work, there were bloody paw prints from the kitchen to the dining room to the den, from the front door to the back.

Needless to say, this caused quite the hubbub around the Beesun casa, and one panicky call to Papa to see if perhaps he cutted our toenails in the morning times, which he did not. So he hurried home, and we were all searched from top to bottom for injuries and it were determined that it were Beanie that were hurt!

Unfurchoonately, this did not keep Mama and Papa from going out to dinner for Papa's Barkday. BOOOOOOOOOO! "What kinda joint don't allow a whole FAMBLY to celebrate barkdays togethfur?" I demanded of Mama!!!

"No Dogs Allowed, Beanie Ween." Mama said.

Now, you know I adore my Mama more than the airs I breathes or the treats I eats, but what kinda Mama frequents such elitist estabbylishments?

Anyfur, I furgived Mama enuff to sleep curled up in a ball on her chest most of the night. She says it are not easy to sleep with a 15 lb sack of potatoes on top of you, but she owed me one! BOL!

p.s. Evfun though we don't always see eye-to-eye, Beanie are kinda glad my sisfur Big Orange are not leaving for the Most Wonderfur Place just yet. She ain't all bad.

National Securitease Summit

Dear Diary,

Unbeknownst to Beanie B., Mama must have gotten the notification that Beanie has a new assignment.

Because on Satterday, Mama took Beanie to a special meeting of the Security Council of the Canine Intelligence Agency.

It were all under the guises of Doggie Daycares. BOL! BOL! How ingenius are that?

Imagine, Top Secret Spy Guy Ruffian, Tiny Satan Beanie, needing the day care! OMD! OMD! Beanie choking I laff so hard.

Also while I were there, Miss Patti Jo gave me a new disguise. She cutted all my hairs super short. OMD! Not good for Minnesnowdah colds, but Beanie are a brave soldier. I does what I can for the securitease of my fambly and furriends.

Shhhhhhhh, I show you photo of big summit. It are top secret, so don't tell anydoggie. But you will notice the respect Beanie commands of the big doggies. Beanie are the big cheese. That's why they call me Tiny Satan.

Beanie with Heads of CIA at Security Summit

Advantages of Being Domestickatered

Dear Diary,

Lemme tell you, it has been no small task for Beanie McTavish, International Man of Mystery and Advenchures to settle down into the life of the Domestickayshun and Suburbitudinal Rooteens.

Beanie liked the life of the Ramblin' Dog.

Howevfur, Beanie's great advenchures in the Big December Woodses of Minnesnowdah made me realize, them days is for the old Beanie...Beanie has gone a little mushy inside...I has grown too accustomated to the inhairent comforts of the domestickatered life.

A guy gets used to being hand-fed hot pizza crusts by hooman peepoles, skwooshy blankies just for him on evfurry chair, multipull doggie beds strewn about a warm house, a nevfur ending supply of fuzzys to defuzz and squeakies to desqueak, a yard to call his own.

The lure snuggling up to a big warm mama, sharing a pillow for 8 blissful hours of uninterrupted slumbers, surrounded by the downy soft blankets of warmth and the comforts, it are a powerful thing.

And yeah, Beanie is a tuff terrier guy, and I didn't need nodoggie or peepole, I maded it on my own.

But I has to say, yesfurday, when it were the annafurfsary of the day when Mama & Papa furst picked me up on the spy train caravan from Missooooori, and taked me into the Beesun Proteckshun Program, and all my furriends sended me good wishes and party hats and cupcakeses and champ-paynes and MEATZ...

Well, Beanie have to admits, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Beanie don't like to need to peepole or pupses or nobuddy, but I sure gotta say, it are really something to be loved.

Like Mama always says to me, Beanie feels like saying to my friends, Thank you and I love you.

Big Buck Safaris in the Woodses of Mound

Dear Diary!

Oh EMMM DEEE, as my silly brofur, Bacon would say.

Beanie are far too serious to say silly stuff like that, but in this instances, it are totally necessary!

Yesfurday, Mama, Papa, Izzy, Bacon and Beanie "Lion Heart" Beesun went for a walk in the great December Woodses of Mound, Minnesnowdah, where we are having almost a brown Christmasses.

Mama says my middle name are Tiny Satan, but Beanie knows it are Lion Heart, but I digresses.

Also, we only has a 20 purrrsent chance of the snow for Chrissymess, and that will make my brofur Bacon sad, so I hope Santy Paws will bring some Snow for Bacon. Cause there are nothing more pawthetic than a sad Bacon Face. But again, I digresses.

So the whole Beesun fambly was out in the Great Woodses, enjoying the 33 degreeses, which are a veritamabull heat wave.

We was all running, togethfur, with the whole woodses to ourselves, just us BEESUNS, Kings of the Wooodses.

Running, Sniffin, Splorin', BEST TIME EVFUR.

Mama had her flashy box with, but she was too slow to catch me running the entire length of giant log, like one of them fancy Ajillamatease dogs!!!

Old Big Orange was flying down the trail, kicking up her heels faster than the rest of us!

Bacon was making those goofy sideways kicks he makes, when he goes so fast, he can't controls him's legses, and they get all kiddywumpuss.

Mama and Papa were laffing, and looking for birdies. Papa were making picfurs of Mama by the old woodpeckered trees, and they were being all happy and goofy like Mamas and Papas do.

And that are when Beanie Lion Heart Beesun spotted him's quarry! The GIGANTICKAMACULL BIG BUCK!

A pang of fear struck in the hearts of Mama & Papa, membering the time Beanie broke free from the dock, at the Lake and dove into the Lake Minnietonker with him's lifejacket after some duckses and swam into the sunset...not returning until my little legs could barely paddle no more. Beanie are a hunter. When I sets my eyes on the preys, I are single-minded in my pursuits.

And so the chase was on! Paws and Hoofers were flying...the peaceful calmses of the woodses was broken by the hooting and hollering of the Beesuns all YELLING, "Beanie!" But I hearded nothing...

Mama would like to talk now:

And then Mr. Intrepid Hunter Tiny Satan Beanie McTavish Beesun disappeared into the thick brush.

Ez lost sight of him as the buck darted out of the thick underbrush and swampy, fallen tree, strewn woods, into some tall grass, and into the manure filled, plowed corn fields, over a giant hill on the horizon.

We were frantic. Ez took the cornfields, and I stayed in the woods. A bonafide search party, all you could hear was the shouts of Beanie echoing through the woods.

We began to imagine our little runaway dog was lost forever. Beanie was born a runner. In fact he was a stray a year ago in Missouri when animal control picked him up.

But we were SO SURE he was starting to get over that! STOOOPID GULLIBLE AND NAIVE MAMA & PAPA.

Then, just as our hearts were seized with terrible pain at having lost our Bean, he comes running up behind me in the woods, covered from tail to nose in big angry burs, and belly full of mud, grinning from ear to ear.

I scooped him up and latched his leash on him and hugged him and kissed him, and yelled to Ez out in the cornfield "I found him!"

I came out of the woods to meet up with Ez, Izzy and Bacon, and the exhausted bunch of us trudged through the manure topped fields, back to the road to make our way back to our car.

Two more deer crossed our path on the way back, and Beanie strained at the leash.

TINY SATAN. Oy vey, as our Zaidie would say. Oh Tiny Satan. We love you little guy. But you are a piece of work.

Go Back to Work Mama, Beanie Need a Break!

Dear Diary,

Mama finally went back to the work today and I were so glad!

OMD! You has no idea how hard Beanie has to work when Mama are on the vaycayshun!

Four days straight, Beanie were slaving away in the craftsroom. Mama just kept making cardses and doing the cross-stitches, and and stamping, and coloring, and cutting, and gluing, and sewing and stitching. Beanie was just exhaustered from all the soopervishuns. If Mama were crafting from morning til night, Beanie were crafting from morning til night. I sit right on the chair and soopervises all Mama's works. Beanie are in charge of the qualitease control. And in case Mama needs a quick face bath or nose cleaning. Beanie are ready at a moment's notiss!

Cause you know Beanie is Mama's number one helper. Beanie did not leave her side for ONE MINUTE FOR 4 days straight.

Beanie provided soopervishuns for the baking of the cookies, and the tasting of the samples, and the cleaning of the crumbses in the kitchen. When Mama are working, I lay right on the rug in the kitchen less than a foot away at all times. "YOU NEED ME, MAMA? HERE I AM!!!" I tells her. And there I is.

When she have to put the fally time deckerayshuns away in the garages, Beanie scoots out the front door before it closes and I follow her into the garage and up the stairs into the attic. I soopervises the whole thing.

When she does the laundries in the baserment, Beanie sits right on the stairs, "Here I am Mama!!! You just make the shouts if you needs me!"

If it are time for errorends, I sit right up against the front door, so Mama don't forget her number one right hand doggie, there's no way she can get out of the house without the Bean-a-Ween!

Here I are, Mama! Here I are!

Cleaning, Cooking, Crafting, and then all the Mama-watching, when she are sleeping, doing her high-jeans, sheesh, Beanie nevfur gets a break. It are worse than having a hooman peepole infunt!

Beanie hate to say it, but I gotsa tell you diary, Beanie were a little releefed that it were Moneyday. Beanie needed a nap! That Mama, she are so needy.

It's Beanie's World, But Mama Says...

Dear Diary,

Mama says that in honor of the upcoming Thanksbegiving Howliday it would be VERY NICE if Beanie McTavish might humble himselves just a teensie tiny bit and make a list of all the stuffs there are for him to be thankful for.

Beanie said...BAH HUMBUG!

It are Beanie's World! But then Mama made a scowly disappointered face, and Beanie McT hates to anger the Mama.

So inbetween the barking, digging, escape attempts, tinkling when I see Papa, and monitoring Mama's evfurry move, I came up with this list of stuffs Beanie are grateful for.

1. Bacon were naughty yesterday!!! Beanie loves when Bacon are naughty. Little Goodie Two Shoes!

2. Big Orange are skinny!! Yay! The more food Izzy B. gets, the more Beanie can swooper in and swipe from her!

3. Mama furgot to pick up her dirty clotheses! Yay...I love Mama's dirty socks! OMD! Mama stink...there are nuttin' better! Also, I like to lay in a nice comfy pile of Mama clothes while she takes her shower and Beanie soopervises, in case anything goes wrong in there and she need me. Beanie are ready at a moment's notice.

4. Mama furgot to pick up the bag of gooberlicious treats last week, and Beanie got up on the tables and pulled it down, and with the helps of Izzy B. we shredded that bag and eated it all! Sometimes Beanie are REALLY gratefur for that Big Orange Dog. Howevfur, note to Beanie's self: Next time, do not eats the plastic! OMD...vomititis!

5. CONSTIPPERAYSHUN & STUBBORNESS! If it were not for my constipperayshun and stubborness, Beanie would not get to go on my very own solitary walkses evfurry day, and hences make sure that the Sunset Road are thoroughly and completerly in the lock down, and belonging to ME, Beanie McTavish. The Grand POOBAH of the Sunset Road. (Mama said the title Dogfather of Sunset Road were already taken for eternamateases.)

Okay, Beanie are very tired from all the gratefulness right now. I hope 5 things is enuff. Beanie will show list to Mama and see if this are what she haved in mind.

Gobble, Gobble,

Beanie McT.

She's On to Our NEFAIRYUSS PLAN!

Dear Diary,

You may not know this about my brofur Bacon, but the subtleteases are not him's fortay!

Awhile backs, Bacon and Beanie notissed that Mama were loosing hers mind.

Yep.

Really. Losing her mind. Going NUTZO. Bonkers. Bazoink! Loco in La Cabeza. Monkey Poop.

Apparently her has a rope and she'd reached the end of it.

Well, Bacon and I wuffs our Mama tons and buckets, buckets and tons. So we made a pact. Me & Bacon agreed that from here on out, only one of us could be SOOOPER DOOOPER NAUGHTY at a time. (You know Big Orange, she are stubborn, she does hers own thing.)

Anyfur, Beanie has been SOOOOOPER DOOOPER NAUGHTY FOR MONTHSES! Like "OMD I'M GONNA RINGERATE HIM'S LITTLE NECK EZRA!!!" Naughty.

So Naughty that in combinayshuns with Izzy's naughties, Mama had started to say, Bacon were the bestest behaved doggie she haveded. Pretty soon Beanie, who must be Mama's NUMBER ONE snuggle bear, on Mama like white on rice, 24/7, said to Bacon, okay MY TURN BACON.

After him's barkday we agreed, he could be naughty again.

Well, you KNOW Bacon. Mr. Zoomie, best day evfur, Snow is my favorite, Monday's my favorite, grass is my favorite, etsettermatah, etsettermatah. He can't do anything half way.

Bacon has not slept in 3 days. He is bouncing off the walls. He is standing on the parents barking, pawing at them, licking their face, jumping on their puters. Last night he stayed up ALL NIGHT...running up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs.

Mama and Papa trieded evfurrything to get him to settle down.

Beanie cannot win!!!!! OMD! I told Mama, don't give him the sugar on the barkday cookies, don't do it! It are like giving the Gremlins the waters after the midnight.

Anyfur, Mama has figgered out our plan. I tolded her "NO MAMA, No plan. Beanie just looks extra gooder on account of Bacon is so Naughty!"

But she's not buying it. She says we're back to BOTH being the NAUGHTIEST DOGS IN THE OONAVERSES. Oy Vey!