December 18th 2013 7:52 am
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This morning started out like evfurry morning...as soon as Mama opened her eyes, I belly crawled across the bed, and climbed up on her chest and stretched out with a big yawn, digging my clawses in to her like a kitty cat.
Then she pulls the Beans under the covers, before her eyeses evfun adjusts to the light, and Beanie snuggles in under her chin, into the crook of her arm, with my head buried in neck, and Mama tells me what a good boy I am, and how much she wuffs the Bean, and she's gonna keep me safe & warm furevfur.
There are nothing better than early morning snuggles with Mama, before the sun evfun comes up. It's our speshull time. Until Nosey Bakes gets wind of the fact that Mama is up. Then the party is ovfur.
But I digresses. Mama said today was an extra speshull day because it's been three years today since Mama & Papa met the transport from Missouri at Midwest Animal Rescue Services and brought me home. It's also my unofficial barkday, number 5 or 6 or so.
Evfun though they call me Tiny Satan and Mr. Tinkles, and Papa says I'm crazy, I know I'm loved as much as any doggie in the world. So evfurry day is a speshull day to me. But I'll take that birthday breakfast treat, a Texas Toothpick (!!!) anyway and then it's off to bark in my big backyard. Happy Day!!!!
Lots of Wuffs to all my Dogster Furriends,
November 29th 2013 7:54 am
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Oh the hooomillyayshun of it all.
Yesfurday was TURKEY DAY! A glorious day for the hoomans and dogs alike right?
Food, Food, and more food. Company...belly rubs and more attenshun for the Bean. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, the Bean will tell you! Company Pants. That's what!
Before our company got arriveded, Mama said, "Time for the festivial Company Pants, Beanaween!"
And then she proceeded to gussy the Bean up in these swimmy trunk type, minihooman - pull-up pants that she calls the Company Pants. I has to wear them as I wuffs the peepoles but I am also terrierfied of them and they make me tinkle and sprinkle.
I were mortified by the Company Pants. I gave her the death stare. I hunched up like a cat and stood frozen, refoosing to move.
UNTIL THE COMPANY ARRIVED!
As our company man, emerged from his big automobeel, and Mama opened the door to greet him, Beanie sprinted out.
I immediately did my very best GI JOE Belly Crawl Manoofer, across the whole front lawn in order to rid myselves of the the EVFUL Company Pants. "OMD, LOOK AT BEANIE!" Mama cried.
And when that didn't work, I felt a horribull sensayshun near my bum furses. Something was pulling on my bum. I squatted and hunched and walked in slow circles.
Mama started getting hissyterical laughter..."OMD, he's going to poop! He's going to poop! NO BEANIE! NO BEANIE! NO POOPING IN THE COMPANY PANTS!"
Mama and the Company Man, watched in a state of bemusered paralysis, until LOUD LARRY PAPA came thundering out, bellowing "Don't just stand there, get them off him!!!!" Papa knew if I had a #2 in my company pants, HE & I would have to take a bath togethfur, and NEITHFUR of us wanted that.
So Mama ran ovfur to pull them off me. She looked inside, but NO DOODIE WAS DONE. The Company Pants were empty.
She looked back at me, and I were doing the boot-scooting boogie across the whole front yard. "BEANIE!!" She shouted, what are you doing??? OMD..I think he has a dingleberry!!!"
The company man were still standing in the front yard with his prezzie bag...ungreeted. First time to Beesun house. Staring in bewilderment.
Mama rushed ovfur to help me and that's when she saw it!!!!
A big WHITE PANTY-LINER were stuck to BEANIE'S HINDER!
A PANTY-LINER!!! Beanie doesn't know what that is, but I know all the peepoles laughed at me, so it can't be good!!! NO LAUGHING AT THE BEANIE!!! NOT ON THE HOWLIDAY OF FOODS! NOT IN FRONT OF THE COMPANY. NOT AFTER I'VE already experienced the pain and degradations of the company pants.
But NEVFUR FEAR. Beanie got the last laff. I didn't has to wear the company pants for the rest of the day. And I still got to sit on the company's lap. And I only tinkled on him once.
And I got some turkey & taters, too!!!
So Happy Howlidays, evfurryone! Beanie wins.
August 6th 2013 9:04 am
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Being the Mighty Outdoorsman that I am, this summer has brought all kinds of great adventures.
Hiking in the Badlands, traversing mighty rivers, training for a big 5K with Mama & Bacon, and swimming in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.
All that summertime fun means I been running around with my hairses cutted so short I look half-naked and STILL the buggies are getting Beanie.
First the ticks...then mysterious disease.
Beanie had big round sores, all scabby and itchy like crazy all ovfur my belly and my nether regionals. I was biting em and biting em.
Mama freaked out. Evfurrybody was giving Mama a hard time about wanting to take me to the eVet and said I could wait 24 hours, it wouldn't kill me.
She said to Papa and her friend both, and I quote, "Okay, why don't you let me get some stinging nettles from the back yard, rub them all over YOUR belly, bunses and generals, and see if YOU want to deal with that for an additional 24 hours if you didn't have to?"
GO GET EM, MAMA! Beanie appreesheates your fierce proteckshun and high regard for my generals and bunses! BOL!
It turns out I has a bacterial infection, and need antibiotics and medicated baths twice a week. The Dogtor says EVFURRY time I go swimming in the lake, Mama should rinse me off REAL good when we get home. There's all kinds of nasty bugs in them waters. PEEPOLES should do this too.
Mama is just glad I don't have ringworm, mange, fleas or any of the other potential diseases she learned of through Dogtor Google.
The goodness is soon my owies will be gone. The bad news is yesfurday I had a 10 minute lathering bath with Mama. She looked like Freddy Krueger after we were done, cause she got right in the tub with me (not soaking, just the water running down the drain.)
August 1st 2013 7:35 am
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Last week were a bad week for the ticks & bugs and stuff. I had to get my beeyoooteefull beard cutted, on account of a tick crawled in there and decided to make a home.
Bacon is winning the tick game though. He has had over 6 ticks so far this season. But that's because whenevfur he gets a chance, he lays in the shade of the trees with the cool grass on his belly in the backyard, and refooses to move when Mama & Papa call him to come inside.
Then last week, the final straws broke the camel's back. The Bean got a bloody rash on my belly. Mama got hissyterical!
So she finally relented and put the K9-Advantix on us, evfun though she is paranoid to the ELEVENTYBILLYONTH degree about the toxic chemmykulls. Grammy's shih-tzus have had lyme disease, babeosis, anaplasmosis, and two have died from tick borne illnesses. Boo has anaplasmosis, but doesn't have any symptoms. We have had Lyme vaccines, but that doesn't protect you from other tick illnesses. The shih-tzus go up North a lot, where deer ticks are more common. We have only had the big ticks, so far, luckily.
In addition, Mama decided to buy Bacon an outdoor Doggie abode, thinking that he could still see his yard, but not lay in the grass.
Mama was so excited. She bought the Luxury Estate Home from Hayneedle for only $150, and it shipped right away. Papa was pouting because he said it was a waste of money and Bacon wouldn't use it. So Mama showed him, and she got out her little screwdriver and put it together, ALL BY HERSELF!
It are PAWESOME. Only one problem, Papa was right about Bacon. Big Fraidy cat. He thinks it's a trap. Beanie ran inside and set up my bachelor pad immediately. That thing are SWEET!!!! Beanie loves it. OH BOY! If I'd have had that place back when I were living on the mean streets of MISERY, I would have been the envee of evfurry dog in town.
That HOUSE ARE MINE!!! All the guys came ovfur this weekend, when Papa were throwing treats in there to trick Bacon, and there were three doggies in Bean's Luxury Estate Home at one time.
Check it out. There are FOTOES in my FOTOE BOOK!
Beanie hopes you are bug-free and having a great summer!
December 22nd 2012 6:02 am
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OMD! Beanie & Mama were up at the crack of the dawn today!
I don't know what Bacon & Papa are doing, but Mama and I have cleaning, baking, decorating, wrapping, birdie-feeding, and crafty-time stuff to do. This Chrissymess stuff, whew, The Bean are exhausted! Beanie works his little paws to the bone around this here Beesun place, being Mama's number one helper in evfurrythings.
Anyfur, we was up at the crack of the dawn, and I were laying across Mama's chest, between her & the iPad, helping her check the Facebook at six ay ems, when I readed that BEANIE were diary of the day.
Me & Mama clapped and cheered and hugged and smooched. Then Porky came bounding in, when he heard we was up, and he dive-bombed the blankies, and Mama nearly throwed up, cause he pounced on her belly. That silly Bacon. He's been eating too much birdie suet balls...and he don't need em! That doggie's nickname ain't "Fat Back" for nuthin'.
Diary of the Day, Chrissymess, a Gotcha Day, and 4 big huge uninterruptereded days of Mama & Bean time with no work to interferes??? This has got to be the best life evfur.
I has to run and help Mama get dressed now. What did that woman did without the Bean? Sheesh.
But before I goes, Beanie wants to say a big HUMUNGEROUS Thank You to evfurrydoggie & their peepoles for making me feel so special and loved with the presents and good wishes and wuffs for my Gotcha Day and these big Dogster Honorarials and stuff.
Oh, and Mama says I should also say, "The Beesuns wish all our most wonderfur furriends, a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
December 18th 2012 7:19 am
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Never in the history of my universe have I known a more complicated dog than Beanie.
Unlike Bacon, who was a still a pup when we adopted him, an unusually happy pup, who was quick to smile and filled with joy, Beanie was at least 2 1/2 years old, maybe older.
He'd had a life already. And it was pretty tough.
Because he was a stray, who'd been seen around town for at least month, we didn't know much before of what he'd seen or endured. But what we learned was that he was terrified of men, he would growl and bite if you tried to take something from him, and that he'd most likely been hit by a car or suffered other traumatic injury to his back half.
Beanie was alternately a big, brash, tough guy, with a loud, sharp bark, and a deep scary growl, and a submissive, cowering, lost little soul, who could flatten himself out so much that it was like he melted into the ground.
And then there was me, struggling with depression, trying to find an exact duplicate of my Ernie George.
When they brought Beanie out from the back room at the warehouse, they put him in Ezra's lap, and I'll never forget the way my heart sunk at the first sight of him. That scrawny little thing was no Scottie. He was no bigger than a yorkie. I could barely look at him.
But we agreed to foster Beanie, and quickly hurried to the car. Ezra knew something was wrong. We got in the car and I said, "I don't want him." Ezra said nothing, but he had a horrible pained look on his face, both for me & for the dog who immediately jumped into my lap. My disappointment and sorrow was such that I could barely bring myself to pet him, but as depressed as I was, a dog in my lap is going to be petted.
He was staring up in to my face with these gigantic, saucer-like eyes as we pulled out of the parking lot. "What the heck kind of dog is he?" I asked, "Look at these eyes! We should call you Mr. Peepers. And his fur, oh my goodness, I've never felt fur this soft." I was defiantly perturbed by his "non-Scottieness" or more correctly "non-Ernieness" but I was taking the first measure of him in his Beanieness. "He's no Scottie...my God, look at that tiny little face. Have you ever seen a nose so small and eyes so big?"
The tiny little Bean was just sitting in my lap, staring up at me, used to new faces. Eager to be pet.
By the time we arrived at our driveway, we agreed we'd foster him, but that was all.
Then, flagrantly ignoring all practical advice on how to introduce a new dog to resident dogs, we opened the front door, let him in.
Beanie trotted in the front door like he owned the place, and ran into the living room, where out of a vast array of toys Bacon had strewn about, Beanie chose what is to this day his favorite toy, the pink purse with flowers, (a gift from Zaidie to Izzy B.) Beanie jumped up on the sofa, where he comically sat staring at us, holding a purse bigger than his whole head in his mouth.
Flash Forward, Two Years Later...
I wake in the morning to a furry soft Beanie muffler with a heart beat, wrapped around my neck. My first movement is greeted with licks and tails wags.
I have a constant companion, who spends hours with me in my craft room, supervising from HIS IKEA chair, covered in HIS special blankets. In the workshop in the basement, he crawls inside his sock monkey nesting bed, and lays at my feet while I work. If I forget something upstairs, he accompanies me to retrieve it.
My morning showers are closely monitored from the tiny nest Beanie's made of towels and discarded clothes.
If I have to use the facilities, Beanie is indignant if not allowed to sit on my lap.
When I am away, and Ezra comes home, Beanie waits patiently at the door for me, perplexed when I don't soon follow. He will stare at the door for quite some time, I'm told, even when coaxed away.
When he goes for walks with his papa, and comes back in the house, he has a routine of searching for me room by room, which Papa finds both funny and sad.
And at night when we go to sleep, Beanie insists on being nuzzled against me, human/doggie spooning, until I fall asleep. If I roll over, he will comically get up, walk over my back like a little billy goat scaling a mountain, and curl up against me again in the direction I'm facing. That is his spot. Lying curled up, facing the same direction with HIS MAMA.
This summer, we even took a road trip together, just Beanie & I. I made a little booster seat for him and he was my copilot, Mama & Bean cruising the open roads. He was a perfect companion.
The past two years have been difficult for me, as I have dealt with some issues of depression and anxiety that I guess I have had all my life, but was only forced to deal with once Ernie was gone.
I don't trust easily. I'm very nervous. I'm moody. I am needy and have abandonment issues. Beanie is very much my kindred spirit. How could I have known it at the time, but Beanie and I were very much destined to be together.
Slowly but surely he and I make progress. Often it's one step forward, two steps back. He actually bit me the other day...this little dog of mine who occupies so much of my heart and mind. And I was hurt and angry with him, but I quickly forgave him, and I tried to understand him, as I hope people forgive and try to understand me.
So today on the two year anniversary of the bitterly cold night we waited for Beanie for 4 hours to arrive by transport, I am extremely sentimental, grateful and filled with love for an extraordinary (to me) little street punk who has taught me so much about myself and about love.
Happy Gotcha Day, Bean-a-Ween! Mama loves you more than you'll ever know.
July 12th 2012 7:22 am
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Yesterday when Mama came home from work, she walked in the door, wrinkled up her nose and said, "PEEEEEEYOU! Icky poo! It's stinkyroo in here!"
I think it must be that TURRIBLE, TURRIBLE, Coal-loans she wears. OMD! Evfurrytime she puts that stuff on, Bean-a-ween avoids her like the plagues. If I gets accidental transferances from the hugs, I roll around on the carpets like a mad man, trying to rub her coal-loan stink off.
Anyhow, Mama started looking around for her perfoooms, cause she wanted to find the turrible stink, and that's when she discovered the beeyooteeful artwork I tried to make for her.
I know how much Mama loves my doodies, on account of she saves evfurry single one in a little plastick baggie, and puts them in a big blue box. I think when Beanie gets to be real old, she will get scentymental and take them all out again to look at them or something.
But I digresses...Mama looked ovfur at her big tall planty stand, between the front door and the bathroom, and there on the bottom shelf, next to her pretty purple vase,was a big hoooooge custom Beanie DOODIE!!!
YAY BEANIE! So talented. It were hard work, making doodie on her plant stand. Some falled on the floor. But most got right front & center on her plant stand, with the pretty vases.
OMD!!! You should have heard how excited Mama got when she saw that! Beanie are so thoughtful!
April 12th 2012 7:58 am
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Mama's Boy Beanie knowed there were lots of attenshun being paid to Izzy B. yesfurday.
So just to bring the attenshun back to it's rightly place, Beanie hatcheded a nefarious plot!
I finded a way to cut myself on the door and bleeded all ovfur the house! So when Mama came home from work, there were bloody paw prints from the kitchen to the dining room to the den, from the front door to the back.
Needless to say, this caused quite the hubbub around the Beesun casa, and one panicky call to Papa to see if perhaps he cutted our toenails in the morning times, which he did not. So he hurried home, and we were all searched from top to bottom for injuries and it were determined that it were Beanie that were hurt!
Unfurchoonately, this did not keep Mama and Papa from going out to dinner for Papa's Barkday. BOOOOOOOOOO! "What kinda joint don't allow a whole FAMBLY to celebrate barkdays togethfur?" I demanded of Mama!!!
"No Dogs Allowed, Beanie Ween." Mama said.
Now, you know I adore my Mama more than the airs I breathes or the treats I eats, but what kinda Mama frequents such elitist estabbylishments?
Anyfur, I furgived Mama enuff to sleep curled up in a ball on her chest most of the night. She says it are not easy to sleep with a 15 lb sack of potatoes on top of you, but she owed me one! BOL!
p.s. Evfun though we don't always see eye-to-eye, Beanie are kinda glad my sisfur Big Orange are not leaving for the Most Wonderfur Place just yet. She ain't all bad.
February 13th 2012 12:09 pm
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Unbeknownst to Beanie B., Mama must have gotten the notification that Beanie has a new assignment.
Because on Satterday, Mama took Beanie to a special meeting of the Security Council of the Canine Intelligence Agency.
It were all under the guises of Doggie Daycares. BOL! BOL! How ingenius are that?
Imagine, Top Secret Spy Guy Ruffian, Tiny Satan Beanie, needing the day care! OMD! OMD! Beanie choking I laff so hard.
Also while I were there, Miss Patti Jo gave me a new disguise. She cutted all my hairs super short. OMD! Not good for Minnesnowdah colds, but Beanie are a brave soldier. I does what I can for the securitease of my fambly and furriends.
Shhhhhhhh, I show you photo of big summit. It are top secret, so don't tell anydoggie. But you will notice the respect Beanie commands of the big doggies. Beanie are the big cheese. That's why they call me Tiny Satan.
Beanie with Heads of CIA at Security Summit
December 19th 2011 8:08 am
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Lemme tell you, it has been no small task for Beanie McTavish, International Man of Mystery and Advenchures to settle down into the life of the Domestickayshun and Suburbitudinal Rooteens.
Beanie liked the life of the Ramblin' Dog.
Howevfur, Beanie's great advenchures in the Big December Woodses of Minnesnowdah made me realize, them days is for the old Beanie...Beanie has gone a little mushy inside...I has grown too accustomated to the inhairent comforts of the domestickatered life.
A guy gets used to being hand-fed hot pizza crusts by hooman peepoles, skwooshy blankies just for him on evfurry chair, multipull doggie beds strewn about a warm house, a nevfur ending supply of fuzzys to defuzz and squeakies to desqueak, a yard to call his own.
The lure snuggling up to a big warm mama, sharing a pillow for 8 blissful hours of uninterrupted slumbers, surrounded by the downy soft blankets of warmth and the comforts, it are a powerful thing.
And yeah, Beanie is a tuff terrier guy, and I didn't need nodoggie or peepole, I maded it on my own.
But I has to say, yesfurday, when it were the annafurfsary of the day when Mama & Papa furst picked me up on the spy train caravan from Missooooori, and taked me into the Beesun Proteckshun Program, and all my furriends sended me good wishes and party hats and cupcakeses and champ-paynes and MEATZ...
Well, Beanie have to admits, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Beanie don't like to need to peepole or pupses or nobuddy, but I sure gotta say, it are really something to be loved.
Like Mama always says to me, Beanie feels like saying to my friends, Thank you and I love you.
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