Here at the old folks home

Yesterday I became an angel.

October 8th 2011 3:18 pm
[ View A Comments (10) ]

From Mom-

What do we say? Do we do a tribute, do we do a love letter, or do we tell everyone what happened. Mom said she thought about writing something down, something sweet something eloquent but she decided to write start from the heart.

First, Tux gave up, you could see it in his eyes. Doc told us when you see a dog go outside and they just stand there, like they are lost, no sniffing of the ground, no ears perked up and no happy wag of the tail....that the quality of life has left them. That's what's been happening. He was doing fine till last week during the cold rains we had. It made him achy, it made him not even want to pick up his head to tell me "Hey" when I walked in the door. Then he stopped eating again Wed. and refused to drink water. Mom and Dad brought him over yesterday, he walked around in my backyard barely being able to hold himself up. He just kept walking in big circles, like he thought if he stopped and sat down he would never get back up. Right then seeing him like that I knew it was time (honestly, I knew last weekend but Mom and Dad needed to be ready to let him go). The quality of life had left him. Turns out that's why they brought him over. So he could have one last visit with me, David, Diamond and the cats.

My mother, Linda, is officially a cancer survivor sense her surgery back in late July or was it early Aug? Anyway, she is still weary from her battles mentally and physically. Tux's not wanting to eat and Mom knowing that's the only way he can survive, was taking a toll on her. She was always with him, night and day. She seen every bad day he had and felt his pain. I think of all the times over the last couple years that he would be sleeping and I would strain my eyes to make sure his chest is moving, sometimes even walking over to feel his chest move. Imagine how many times my Mom has done that. Sometimes watching someone die slowly is just as bad as being the one dying. Hate to sound bad but this is a release for both of them, Mom and Tux.

Mom could not bare going in while Doc was helping Tux pass. So it was Dad and me carrying him in right at closing time. You could see the hurt in the eyes of the lady that was there to pick up her gorgeous Golden Retriever (which had a grey muzzle of his own). I think she knew.

Dear Tux,
We are going to miss seeing your grey muzzle walking in the door, so full of life. You always looked like you were smiling. I was happy to see you too. Everybody loved you, you even inspired Trisha to adopt an elderly dog. She loved how your were so laid back and calm and loving. That you had an air of chill about you. What she didn't know was that it wasn't your age showing, that was just you.

The day I got you, I was surrounding by 8 little bouncing puppies. All trying to get my attention, all running in circles trying to nip each others back legs. You were all so cute. Little fuzz balls with big eyes and puppy breath. I just couldn't make up my mind which one of you I wanted to take home. I sat on the steps leading down into the pin where you all were and you came to me.

You were so cute. With your short stubby legs trying to climb those big steps but you made it and then laid down to take a nap underneath my legs on the step. I knew right then you had picked me.

Over the years we have played in the fields of hay, in the woods, in the snow, and in the ocean. Celebrated the seasons together with long walks down the dirt road. At one point yesterday while walking up to the big Oak Tree I wanted to call out your name then I remembered. I could see you running down the driveway, with that little cantor of yours, ears and tongue just a flapping. Your were such a happy dog.

Thanks for letting me cry on shoulder all those years and thanks for coming to me when you needed to feel safe, warm and loved. Years ago I made you the promise and yesterday we decided to make good of our promise. Baby, you are free now. You've have been with me for so long, it's time to give you back.

As you laid there, on that cold Stainless Steel table, you looked at me. You looked at me down to my soul. I felt your fear, but somehow I knew you were telling me you loved me and saying thank you. Then when the sedative started to relax you, and Dad was squatting in front of the table, rubbing your head. I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder and you looked me again with such love. Dad told you that you were going to be young and full of life again within mins. I hope you seen us and heard us. Within mins, Doc came back in and helped you cross.

Till the day you see us again always remember.. we love you more than words could ever say and I can't wait to see those floppy ears a blowing in the wind as you run to catch up with me again.
A picture I've carried in my wallet for the last 14 years.

 
Barked by: Wrinkles (RIP) (Dogster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 6:34 pm

My Mommy eyes are full of tears. Such a beautiful tribute. I have been at the rainbow bridge for over a year and it broke my Mommy's heart when she had to let me go so she understands what your family is going thru.
Barked by: Miss Essie (1984-2002) (Dogster Member)

October 8th 2011 at 11:37 pm

The pawrents wanted to be able to say something to wish Tux well on his journey, but found that they weren't allowed to do so in their familiar cat persona, so they called on me. They missed me so strongly that when they came on Catster, they couldn't bring themselves to make me a page. Now they have. That's our tribute to you, Tux. Welcome to the Bridge, brother. - Essie, spiritual sister to Samhain and Sleeper
Barked by: Tux :) (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 6:41 am

Sleeper, Samhain, you tell your parents that my parents are truly touched that our story inspired them to go ahead and make that painful memorial page for the Miss Essie. Work on it little bits at a time and you'll get it how you want it.

She's sooooo cute! I can see how you would fall in love with her. Dog love is cut down and simplified. I love how my cats love me but I loved how my dog adored me. I was his reason for waking up in the mornings.

Dad was the same way with Mom when Joe died. Eventually, he told her to go get another cat cause it just wasn't healthy grieving as hard and long as Mom was. She didn't want to so he took her! We got Zach sometime that week.
Barked by: Demon Flash Bandit (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 7:10 am

I am so sorry that you had to cross over, but living in constant pain is not really living either. It is much better to cross over the bridge and fell good again. I'm sure you miss your humans as much as they miss you, and that you are watching over them from above. Mommy is crying--your Mommy could not have written a more touching tribute to you!
Barked by: Tux :) (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 8:50 am

I have a request..

Everybody please welcome Miss Essie by becoming her friend.
Barked by: Tux :) (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 8:50 am

I have a request..

Everybody please welcome Miss Essie by becoming her friend.
Barked by: Patches (In Loving Memory) (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 6:46 pm

Tux, I and my new friend Miss Essie are here welcoming you to Rainbow Bridge. We are all running free in the meadows with no pain or suffering. Playing all our favorite games and telling happy stories from our past life. We are all watching over your family as this is a hard time for them, keeping them in our prayers. You will make a great Guardian Angel.
Barked by: ✨ Whitley ✨ (Dogster Member)

October 9th 2011 at 10:37 pm

I will miss you a lot Tux. Look for some bassets up there, I know my pals will be happy to have you to howl with sometimes.
Barked by: Wishbone~An Angel Now (Dogster Member)

October 10th 2011 at 4:54 pm

What a beautiful tribute.
My mom got leaky eyes.

Our sincerest condolences to all the
family.

We're So Sorry
(Click on link)

Run free, well, and young again, dear Tux.
We're so glad we met you here on dogster.
We thank your mom for sharing you with us
all, dear friend.

Much love and comforting hugs to all-
~Wishbone, Redford, Strider, Cooper, Nina,
Forrest, Mick, Keighty, Tundra, Rory,
Manytoes, Lynzee, & mom, Esther~
Barked by: Angel Petey- In Loving Memory (Dogster Member)

October 11th 2011 at 2:47 pm

omd, we are so sorry to hear about Tux, and know how hard this is for everyone, and Mom has leaky eyes reading your letter to Tux, our thoughts and prayers are with you all!

 

Tux :)


 

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