April 8th 2013 4:28 pm
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I am all about dogging-up these days. Yes, it is ME, Queen Sophine who has been working hard for a rare occasion around this 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.
Last week, Mom decided to do a little house cleaning. It was definitely "a little," as with the Slob Little Lad and Slob Middle Lad, Mom spent most of the time picking up all their ____ . I simply can't express the words that Mom used to convey her appreciation of how much time and energy she spent picking up after Slob Little Lad and Slob Middle Lad. Strange, Mom rarely complains about picking up after Me and Pennie, when she neatly bags up all our solid waste into green biodegradable waste bags that she deposits into the trash.
Mom had no intention of ever, ever, picking up after Slob Little Lad and Slob Middle Lad, but she finally decided that the house simply HAD to be dusted and vacuumed. Mom: Zero. Slob Lads: Win!
Anyhoodles, Mom left out the can of Lemon Pledge dusting spray. The next day, while the Slobs were at home and supposed to be supervising Wee Lass while Pennie and I took Mom for some much-needed exercise; Wee Lass found the can of Lemon Pledge dusting spray. Wee Lass busied herself by attempting her OWN cleaning projects. When Mom returned from her exercise, the house had a strange, lemony odor.
Wee Lass used the Lemon Pledge on the wood staircase. Mom immediately discerned this when Mom attempted to ascend the staircase, and rapidly found herself instead, DE-scending the staircase. Mom cleaned off each individual stair, one at a time, several times, to remove all (so she thought) of the Lemon Pledge.
TODAY, Dad discovered the ONE spot of the 3rd stair from the top that still had Lemon Pledge spray on it. Dad RAPIDLY descended the staircase. He landed in a heap in the foyer. Dad had back surgery back in 2000, and his back has always had to be treated tenderly since.
PENNIE, yes Nurse Pennie, Alpha Pennie: PANICKED. She paced nervously around fetal-positioned Dad.
Who sprang into action: Sophie, Dog of Action. Queen Sophine.
I immediately assessed Dad's vital signs by poking my nose into his face. When he pushed my snout away, I knew he was at least alive. This also flipped Dad over onto his back. I laid half my body over Dad's chest, with one Dainty Sophie Paw right in the middle, ready to do Chest Compressions.
Pennie still paced.
Mom arrived in the foyer, but I had the situation well in Paw. I alternated between laying with one paw on Dad's chest, ready to do chest compressions, and my snout in Dad's face, assessing Dad's breathing.
Dad has spent the last several hours laying on the couch, with me not leaving his side.
Really, I don't know what has happened to Pennie. I think she may now be Alpha-Minus Pennie and I am no longer Beta Sophie, but Beta-Plus Sophie.
I am quite sure that Pennie is suffering from depression at Oldest Lad moving away. It is a shame to see her lose it, but then again, I AM rising to the occasion!
Leave A Comment | 3 people already have
Wow! I fink I need tu see sum flow charts or sumfing tu keep up!
I hope yur Dad's back r gonna be okay an' dat Middle Wad an' Lil' Wad (A.K.A. da Swob Wads)hab werned dere wesson 'bout watchin' Wee Wass!
I r pwoud ob yu, Sophie, fur wisin' tu da occayshun!
Well, at least da Wee Lass shows a propensity for da cleaning, which are better dan another slob, right?
This morning, based on last night's skill taking care of Dad, I was absolved of a crime! While driving to Public High School to fetch Middle Lad yesterday afternoon, I found some chewing gum. That was made quite clear because when Middle Lad got in the van, I held up a poor Sophathetic paw that now had a gum wrapper and a piece of gum stuck to it. Middle Lad removed the gum and the wrapper.
What Mom did not realize, until this morning, is that since my lips are loose, and I can't actually "chew" gum, before I got it stuck to my paw, I got most of it stuck all over the passenger seat of the van. Of course Mom could not be upset with me today, because after all, I took such good care of Dad. Sophie Wins again!