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What's Shakin', Bacon?

Attack of the Eleventy Thousand Foot Thunder Monsters

June 21st 2013 12:36 pm
[ View A Comments (12) ]

Dear Diary,

It were a dark and stormy night, and the Beesuns was restless.

The flashy clock said it were two ay ems. Bacon does not tell time, but I allow seckertery to editoriamalize as she sees fit.

It were still very hot outside and hotter inside. Our fanny cold air blower machine were broken again.

(Two guyses came to Bacon's house earlier in the day to fix the fanny cold air blower machine. They left the garage door open, and Bakey were free! Free to run like the wind, right past Mama in the driveway, through the yards of Mound, Minnesnowdah, sniffering and markering all along the way. Bacon were running through the legs of the kidses in our nayborhoods, who were chasing me, and I were laffing and laffing!It were so fun, until Papa came, with his angry flubbergusted and frustripperated face on. Then it were not so fun anymore)

Anywhoodles, the fanny cold air indoor wind-blowing machine were on the fritz again, so Mama were up, kicking the blankets off, and making loud drammatickle sighs.

That was when the Thunder Monsters caughted Bacon unawares. Furst the eleventy thousand feets tall beastesses huffed and they puffed and they tried to blow our house down. The blowed so hard, that our windows rattled and the trees bent down to touch them's toes.

Bacon knew Mama would be ascared, so he jumped up on the bed and he climbed on top of her. "Bakey will hold you down with his big fuzzy buns, Mama, don't you worry!" I said.

The Thunder Monsters HOWLED, and they poured gallons and gallons and gallons of boiling water on our house to try to boil us alive. Bacon were shaking, but I didn't leave Mama's side. Then they tried peltering us with frozen rocks that sounded like mahsheenguns shooting up the Beesun house.

And then they got angry because they could not get Bakey and his Mama, so they started exploding the most hoomungussest newkickular bombs in the whole universe right in our front yard.

Bacon swears, the whole house kaboomed and it shook for 20 minutes from one explosion alone. B

Then Beanie got all MEDIEVAL on them Monsters. He leapeded up from him's sleep, and he barked so angry and so mean, I has nevfur heard Beanie so mad. He said, "YOU LISTEN HEAR YOU THUNDER MONSTERS!!! YOU DO NOT COME TO BEANIE'S HOUSE IN THE MOUND, MINNESNOWDAH, AND WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS NIGHT-NIGHT TIME, SCARE HIS MAMA AND BACON,AND CAUSE A GENERAL HULLYBALOO!" And then there were more feroeshuss barkering...BARK, BARK, ROOOOOOOOOOO! BARK! Then Daddy got up, and he were worried Beanie were gonna kill the monsters all ovfur our house, so he said, "Shhhhhh, calm down Beanie, it's okay."

But the explosions kept coming and Beanie kept barking. And Bakey kept shaking, and Mama kept petting the Bacon.

Then we all got up to look at the big fireworks from the explosions, and the ice cubes piling up, and the trees coming down, and Beanie barked, until evenchewally we all falled asleep from exhausterayshun.

And the Thunder Monsters went home when the lights came on, on account of thunder monsters are ascared of the light.

The End.

Footsnote: Bacon were not afurraid at any point in this story. That are an embellyshmint on Beanie's part.

Barked by: Flicka ~ CGC (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 1:09 pm

Love and Hugssssssssss !!

Yeah.. the tornadoes and severe thunderstorms and hail have been here too.. and a bit.. trying..

However our AC is working.. which as its now 96F(cold for the time of year.. usually well in the 100sF !)So... we are ok.

Hoping your Boys keep you safe.. and no more runaways !!!

Stay safe !

Barked by: Luna (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 1:27 pm

Oh my dogness. Dat sounded bery scary Bacon. We's do nod habe does kind ob thunder monsters in Sandy Eggo, CA. Momma habs a frien dat wives in Minniesoda. Hims told her dat dey were expeten big booms wast night. I am sew gwad dat they r frade ob da wight so dey were gone by mouring.
Barked by: Bacon (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 1:34 pm

Hi LUNA!!! Hi Flicka!!!! (Flicka, I am going through my Terrible Threes...very naughty lately, lots of rolling in stink, playing keep away, not coming in the house cause I don't wanna...BOL!)

Mama says the Thunder Monsters are coming again tonight. I hope I am not too tired tomorrow from comforting Mama. We are going to Woofstock on Sattermaday, and Bacon is entered in the Big Moosical Chairs tourneyment. I has to be at the top of my game to sit on commands!
Barked by: Luna (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 1:39 pm

I wunner why dat it posted two times. Dat r cwazy!
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 2:39 pm


I would love to come and help Beanie bark and scare those thunder monsters away, too, because that is what I do here, too...Grrrrr! But we are in for our I think I need to stay here on duty.
So nasty and naughty those storms are...we see there are some trying to sneak back to my den tonight and tomorrow, too. Sheesh, we just had a big display of those last week.

I don't shake, I shiver, BOL! And bark...louder than any thunder...

We are glad you are all safe there, you and Beanie did good in keeping things under control.
Barked by: Bacon (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 6:14 pm

OMD! Mr. Freckles...Anothfur one just came through here. All our trees fell down. And the roads are flooded. We went on an advencher to pick up our Gennermatater cause it went on vacayshun, and it was right in the middle of the storm. It were our furst time in the Bacon & Beanie Fambly Truckster. Papa sold the Ernie George Explorer Mobile, and Mama bought me & Beans our very own Fambly Truckster. Mama cried about selling EG's Splorer Mobile, but Papa said, Hey, the dog still has a 24 foot boat named after him.

Anyway, we saw lots of cool stormy stuff on our way to pick up the gennymatater, and we made it home safe. Evfun though me & Mama hyperventerlated the whole time. Beanie stood on the center console and pretended he were a storm chaser. Show off!
Barked by: Flicka ~ CGC (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 6:38 pm

Glad you are safe... but a dog after my own heart.. a Storm Chaser !!!

(Lucas wouldnt.. he hates storms !)
Barked by: MrJackFreckles~SirLick-a-Lot (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 7:35 pm

Oh, My Dogness:(

More storms, Yikes.
I am glad that your new B&BFT didn't get drownded or thunked bt a tree trunk...that wold be way too much junk in the trunk, and we know nofur or peep needs that.
Glad you are safe though.
Carefur with that electrical generator. We don't have to do that go outside and turn it on, or fill it up with a smelly drink evfurry few hours...years and years ago my pawppy got one that turns on by itself when know it has to exercise to do well?? BOL! Each week it takes a turn to see if it will work later if its needed.
That thing is older than me!

Now go and bark some storms away you storm chasers!

Ours was a dud, but growlmy is not complaining. It bypassed us. But more is predicted.
Pawyers galore fur all to stay safe in this scary weather.
Barked by: ✨ Finley ✨ (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 9:12 pm

My goodness, that sounds like sum terribull weather... we gets hail and thunder and lightnin' so often round these here parts that me and Whit... well, we sleeps right through it... it don't faze us at all... if it gits real loud, we might wake up at da commotion, but we goes right back to sleep... worst thing is when da tornado sirens go off and then everybuddy has to go hide in da interior bathroom.... bbbooorrrriiiinnnnggg.....
Barked by: ✨ Whitley ✨ (Dogster Member)

June 21st 2013 at 9:33 pm

Yeah, dat thunder stuff are boring so I just sleeps right through it.
Barked by: JAKIE, FOREVER LOVED (Dogster Member)

June 22nd 2013 at 8:12 pm

Dat is berry scary - Sure glad you're all ok!!
Barked by: Van Winkle (Dogster Member)

June 23rd 2013 at 8:55 pm

Coco Rose has BADgers and you all have thunder monsters throwing ice cubes, OMD!!! Stay safe!!




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