Auntie makin' funs of me!

...but I's not too upset cause Ebbers says that's Auntie's weird way of saying she loves me. She called me her 'lil Kilbasa Gremlin Hot Dog'! But she gives me oohs & ahhhs & gives me smooches when she says it so I's not upset 'bout it.

Ebbers almos' dies & it all Auntie's fault!

You's heard me right pups! Ebbers almos' has a hearty-tack all cause of what Auntie done did! It all started when we seen Auntie going into the pantry vault where we keeps our treats. We's so 'escited thinking the treats is for us but we's sorely bamboozeled! Auntie tried to hide two jerky treats in her pockets but sawed her! When she opened the front door, Ebbers & me's bolted out. She tried acting like she didn't has nuttin' but we's could smell those treats! Ebber's beady eyes were almos' poppin' outta her head as she barked, "Gimme my treat!!!!" Then Auntie done sumtin' that is unescusable'-she walks over to our neighbor dogs & gives them OUR treats!!!

When she walked back to our yard, Ebby is beyond herself! She starts hyper-ventalating & gasping for air! Auntie sat down next to her & told her to calm down. "Shhhh...Ebby calm down...breath." She gently stroked Ebby & got her to calm down. Auntie should know better! She knows this is what happens when Ebbers gets over-excited so how dare she gives away our treats!!! UNESCUSABLE'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess What I's Gettin'!!!

My dream has come true! I's soon gonna have my own indoor bathroom! That's right pups, no mores havin' to holds it in till Auntie gets home! No more havin' to go outside in the cold & rain to relieve my urges! No more embarassing wee-wee pad diaper thingys on the floor! After Auntie gets her tax money, she promised to get me a Potty Patch. I seened it on the 'vision box & I's always wanted one. I's so 'escited...my own piece of lawn indoors...I can't wait!!!

HUH?!!!

Dog oh dog has it been cold 'round here lately! 'Corse Ebbers & me is nice & warm inside but Auntie makes us go outside for our potty breaks. I just much rather do my 'biness on my wee-wee pad but Auntie says no. Wee-wee pads is only for 'mergencies when she's not home. She told me not to get used to using them alla time.

Anywho, that means we's being forced outside where it's cold! I's runs out, does me 'biness then runs back in!
This morning when we's goes out, I goes to bark at the felines who is inside they's cat house. "Bark, Bark! Everyone out!"

Tux says, "Footlong, why don't you go eat some frozen milk & leave us alone!" HUH?! I wunnered what he talkin' 'bout. I looks 'round & that's when I's sees white stuff all over the ground.

"Ebbers! Come quick! There's milk powder all over the place!" Ebbers comes arunnin', "It's MINE!" she barks.

Well, to make a long story short (or a short story long, like my song says. BOL!) turns out stuff not milk but sumfin' called snow. We's plays in it for a short while but then we's just wanna go inside to warm up.

Curses!

Well I's can't believes it! My arch-rival Tux, is a diary pick again. Tux is my cat cousin with the snazzy coat. I always gets yelled at for barkin' at him. Him & the other purrs call me Footlong & they's always meowing bout me behind me back! I's gonna go bark at him right now...tee, hee, hee!

In Trouble Again!

(*sigh*) Well pups, I's get in trouble again! "Why are you such a rebel fur-child, Ceeley?!" Auntie asked, "Why can't you behave nice like Ebby? Yes Ebby, you are the goody-four-paws now." she said.

It all started when Mommy was in the kitchen washing dishes. She starts sniffing the air and says, "What's that faint smell?"
She looks at the soles of her shoes...nothing. Ebbers & me's sitting there staring at her. She zeros in on me & says, "Ceeley come here." Ebby just sits there all prim & proper.

Auntie bends down & starts sniffing me. "I knew it! Ugh...you stink! What have you been rolling in?" I's knows what's acomin' so I makes a run for it & hides unner' the bed! Me hears the water running in the tub. Ebbers has come into the bedroom also & gives me a dirty look. "Ceel, cause of what you's does, we's both gonna get a bath! I's jus' knows it!"

"E-b-b-y!!! Come here sweetie!" yells Auntie.

"Ugh...I's knowed it!" said Ebby. She lowers her head & walks slowly toward the bathroom. Auntie tells her she's a good girl for obeying. Oh no, I's not gonna go that easy! No-siree-bob, not me! A short while later, Ebby emerges all happy like & starts running zoomies 'round the room. Auntie drags me from 'unner the bed & carries me to the tub. UGH!!! Such torture! Auntie can be so mean & evil sometimes! And all for NO reason!

Workin' Dogs

Well Ebbers has come back to work full-time. 'Slong as she don't over-do herself, Auntie said she go back to her 'regler routine. So's we's divided up the workload again. Not that I minded doin' it all myself...I had a blast! But now we's gone back to the way it was before. She patrols the front yard & patrols the back. It's a big yard with lots of trees & ever one must be inspected & 'sprayed to keep the 'truders away. The kitties must be 'counted for to makes sure they all here. Then we's gotta bark away any 'truders that gets too close to our fence. When we's inside we's has to 'lerts Auntie when we hears anyone comin' to the door. Yep, we's watch-dogs & this is what we does!

Me vs. Tux!

Well I gets in trouble again pups! Auntie yelled at me for no 'parent reason. All I's doin' was barking at that cat with the snazzy coat. His name is Tux & I likes barkin' at him most! I don't see what the big deal is! He was in his cat house sleepin' & I went and tried to bark him out. Auntie came out & yelled at me, "Ceeley why are you always picking on him! Leave him alone, I'm not gonna tell you again! If he scratches you, it'll be YOUR fault!"

I doesn't has a reason, I just likes barkin' at him. I know he's been meowing 'bout me in his diary so why can't I bark at him!

Complainers!

Hello pups! Dog oh dog has I been abusy'! Ever since Ebbers been outta commission, I's taken over the running of the yard. Pawsonelly, I's will admit that I loves it! All that runnin' 'round, barking my head off & bossin' the felines 'round is FUN!!! Unfortunately, it 'pears the dern cats has been complainin' 'bout me to Auntie & Ebbers! You sees, I doesn't like it when they's sleepin' inside they's cat house so I's goes & stick my head inside & barks at them! "You furballs come outta that house & line up in the yard where I can sees ya'lls!" But they's just 'inors me & hiss at me to shuts up! Oh the nerve! So I's keeps barkin' & barkin' till Auntie comes out. "Ceeley, I'm not gotta tell you again-leave those kitties alone!"

"But I wants them lined up in the yard where I can sees them!" I continues barkin'. Then Ebbers barks at me from inside the house "Ceel stop harrassin' my kittys! I don't wanna hear they's meows later complainin' bout you."

Sometimes one will come outta they's house & face me, "This what you want Footlong! Well here I am! You got a good look now?!"

I give one quick sniff and say, "Uhm...that's all...you's my proceed 'bout you's business." Then I continue my yard survey.

Auntie is Nuts!

My Auntie-Mom has 'ficially gone nuts! Look what she done!

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