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Cleopatra's Classified Column

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Been soooooo busy!

October 13th 2012 2:57 pm
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Oh pupsie pals, I haven't even had time to write my diary in ages in ages! Partly cos Mummy started a new job and she's on that laptop thing a lot, and partly cos I'm so busy looking after my two households!

I've been so busy! I've been spending my time equally between my house and Nana and Granddad's. FACE-UP has also been busy with an increasing workload of cases involving pets taking actions against parents who are having SOCIAL LIVES and not spending time with them!!

I am trying to put a Hallowe'en trip together for my buddies to reflect Ireland's unique reputation for great ghost stories! So banshees, poookas and other ghostly beings will be on the menu! I need to think about that, will post the itinerary soon!


Cleo’s thank you message to her loyal subjects (sorry,- good friends) on Dogster

September 20th 2012 10:45 am
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Cleo. Are you ready? I need to get ready to go out! I hope this message you want to dictate isn’t too long! Hang on a sec Mummy, just scribbling a few notes ! Ok, here goes.
Ahem! (clearing throat). Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, I have just put together a few words of thanks to all my pals on Dogster who sent me good wishes and gifts on this, my special Dog of the Day day. To Hershey and Winkie who sent me a beautiful gold crown which befits my royal name and bearing. It was glittering in the sunshine as I was reclining on the decking earlier. To Zoe, who also sent me a gold crown along with some sort of strange leaping dog that made my head spin in the sunshine. I had to transfer Hershey and Winkie’s crown to one of my ears and wear Zoe’s crown on the other ear, they were like a giant pair of glittering gold earrings. To Pepper, who sent me a really pretty pink rosette which I attached to my collar and which looked beautiful with my gold earrings. To Zaidie, who not only sent me a gold cup, but also sent me a huge big slab of meatz. To Fizzy, who also sent me a gold cup. I had fun sitting on the decking eating my meatz and admiring myself from all angles between my two beautiful shiny gold cups, wearing my big gold glittering earrings and my rosette. To Lexi's family who sent me a beautiful red rose. It smelt absolutely divine while I was sitting on the decking admiring myself between my gold cups with my glittering earrings on and eating my meatz. To Angel Whisper and Dixie who sent a pretty little ladybug that I had fun watching crawling around on the patio. To Sammy Jo, Toby Jo, Cory Jo and Joey Jo, who sent me a beautiful cool ice cream! And last but not least – to Scooter, Misty, Mr Cutter and Pepper who sent me, Cleo, a gold bone! So as you can imagine, I have been rather busy admiring my gold crown earrings and pink rosette in my 2 gold cups while enjoying meatz, an ice cream and a gold bone and watching a little red ladybug exploring my patio. Time for a snooze I think!
Oh yeah, happy birthday Mummy. Sorry I can’t go to your special meal in the restaurant but until you get the house insurance amended to include my crowns, gold cups, rosette, red rose, leaping dog, ice cream, gold bone, meatz and ladybug I ain’t going nowhere!!!


Dog of the Day! Little Moi? Really? Oh, I really can't- accept such a prestigious award!

September 19th 2012 12:33 am
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Oh pupsies, I'm so excited! Mummy got an e-mail saying I'm a Dogster Dog of the Day! Big, big, HUGE excitement here!

I will be milking this for all it's worth all day - Mummy had to go away on a train for work but I will be making sure Nana and Granddad do lots of special things with me today and when Mummy gets back this evening I will be expecting VIP treatment!


Do you hear that, Pinky and Bubbles? Serves you right for barking out your window at me yesterday evening! I AM A DOG OF THE DAY! When I get back from Nana and Granddad's this evening you won't be able to get out your front door with all the delivery vans outside our house! BOL!


Nana and Granddad's 50th Anniversary an'stuff!

September 14th 2012 5:45 pm
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So it was Nana and Granddad's 50th wedding anniversary on Wednesday. Apparently 50 years ago is when our great-great-great-great-great granddaddies were born or sumfin. So it's a very, very, very long time ago. Anyway, Mummy BANISHED Nana and Granddad for their special day! She paid for them to go away to a hotel somewhere millions of miles away from me, Cleopatra. No ear tickles from Granddad. No apple pie from Nana. Nothing at all for three whole days!

During Nana and Granddad's banishment, me and Mummy stayed in Nana and Granddad's. I got to sprawl over sofas I can only dream of when they're there. I even got to sleep in Nana and Granddad's bed! (Mummy had to to go through the place very carefully before they came back to remove the hairy evidence - hee hee!)

Anyway, it was all really confusing. Cos I had never been in Nana and Granddad's without them being there. So I was pretty depressed at night time and I lay at the sitting room door wondering if they would ever come back. As I said, Mummy had banished them (sigh!) And I had no idea where they went or if they would ever come back to tickle my ears and tummy and stuff.

But YESTERDAY - we got up. Mummy was busy getting rid of evidence. Dog hair in Nana's bed. Dog hair on the carpet. Half eaten treats all over the place. Then she went to our house to do her work stuff on her computer and put me in Nana and Granddad's garden. Eventually I heard the front door open. And guess who came in? NANA AND GRANDDAD! They were back! The banishment was over! Oh, the kisses, cuddles, licks and waggly tail!!!!!!! They are back! And all is back to normal! Mummy and I went back and had a really great sleepie in our own house! I got double treats and stuff for all the extra work I did. Better get some sleepies now cos I've been soooooo overworked the past couple of days!

Night night pupsters!
Love Cleo XXX


Decided to live with Nana and Granddad

September 9th 2012 4:31 pm
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Mummy was away in that foreign country that is England again this week - supposed to be from Tuesday to Wednesday night but she missed her flight back and didn't collect me from Nana and Granddad's till Thursday!

Anyway, when she got back I got treats. And sweeties. And walkies. And lots of love and cuddles and stuff. All was going great, or so I thought.

Mummy went playing GOLF this afternoon. Left me with my Granddad she did (ok, we had a walk and a sneaky ear tickle) but STILL! She's flittering over and back across the Irish Sea in that aeroplane thing. Can she not even give up a bit of golf for moi?

So when she got back this evening, she put my lead on. Talked all nice to me. Told me we were going "home" (that's a joke, I don't know where my home is anymore! Sob!) So I went and sat in the corner beside the sofa and made my position perfectly clear. I am going to stay with Nana and Granddad, I said. I AM NOT BUDGING from this corner. So yes, I stayed with Nana and Granddad. They walked out to the door to see her off. I stayed put, studying my blanket and not even looking at her. This is my home now. You had your chance and you blew it. And Nana and Granddad have a better garden. And I don't miss you at all Mummy. Well, maybe a little bit....


I got cake!!!!!!

August 29th 2012 12:30 pm
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I just had a whole slice of cake! All to myself!!!! Mummy took me for a walk after she had her dinner. When we got back she cut herself a big slice of yummy cake and left it on the back doorstep where she likes to sit sometimes. Anyway, while she was making coffee I "accidentally" brushed past the plate with the cake. I may have inadvertently put my nose right in the cake. Possibly even gave it a little lick.

Anyway Mummy must have changed her mind about having her cake after all cos she cut it up and gave it all to me. As a reward for being so well behaved, I expect.


Thank you all for your special Gotcha Day gifts!!!!!!

August 19th 2012 1:24 pm
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Oh wow! Oh wow! Oh wow! I've just been looking in my gift box and my doggie pals are so generous!

Zaidie sent me the most wonderful sparkly heart shaped balloons. Nana says they're blocking her seeing the telly box thing in the corner. BOL! I love them! Scooter, Misty, Mr.Cutter, Pepper and Indy Kitty sent me a beautiful sparkly diamond. I have to put my shades on to admire it! They also sent me a big hunk o' meatz when I had the itis in my eyes. Hershey and Van Winkle sent me a really pretty party hat that I'm wearing at the moment. Luna sent me a delicious GOLD bone! Zoe sent me a really tasty cupcake that is sitting on my blankie, I'm just contemplating how to get it all into my mouth in one piece. I can't decide whether to tackle that or Luna's bone first. Angel Whisper and Dixie sent me a lovely adopt a pet rosette in honour of the anniversary of me adopting Mummy. Fizzy sent me the coolest grill in case I want my meatz chargrilled. Mummy is working on some recipes for various marinades for me. And Whitley sent me a very special telegram by pawmail congratulating me on my special day! Thank you all so much!

Anyway, I had the most wonderful gotcha day. Mummy was up bright and early and we went STRAIGHT out the door, normally she does the shower thing followed by hair brushing, makeup applying and other stuff. But today we headed straight for the park where I met Daisy and chased her all over the place! Then we went home and Mummy did her shower/hair/makeup thing and we headed over to Nana and Granddad's where Nana had cooked dinner 'specially in my honour. To thank me for my selfless act in adopting their daughter and taking her off their hands, I expect. Then I got some ice cream and a whole cupcake to myself! I rested for a while in the garden then Mummy, Nana and Granddad all came for a walkie with me. Then back to the house for some games in the garden and then Nana gave me some treats on my blankie in the living room. Then Mummy had to go and get ready to go away to the foreign England place so I'm lying on my blankie in Nana and Granddad's admiring all my special gifts from my wonderful pals! Thank you all!

Barks and licks, Cleo XXX


Gotcha Day! Big Celebrations, BOL!

August 18th 2012 6:06 pm
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Guess what today (Sunday) is? MY GOTCHA DAY! Party time! BOL!!!


Mummy's home!

August 17th 2012 4:38 pm
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Mummy was away all week again in that foreign country that is England. Across the sea and all that. Anyway, I've been extra spoiled this week. Nana and Granddad have a rota going. Granddad takes me walking in the mornings and Nana takes me at night.

Anyway, today Friday was Mummy's coming home day. Nana told me my Mummy was coming home and HEADED FOR THE AIRPORT WITHOUT ME! She did say it was too warm to keep a doggie in the car or something. That's not the point. I would have been at the airport with one of those signs. Ms Angie Colton. My employee. Currently on secondment to some company in England. Or something.

Anyway, they EVENTUALLY came back. And what a reunion! I jumped up on Mummy. Sniffed her all over for those English smells. Licked her face a bit. Barked at my Nana to tell her Mummy was home. Dropped my ball at Mummy's feet to play with me. Had my chicken dinner hand fed by Mummy. Later, we came back to our house where Mummy took out the Wine Dwip. And gave me lots of cheese. And sweeties. And treats. And now we're going outside to patrol the estate. Just in case the cats are around or something. I am one happy dog!!!


I have an itis!!!

August 7th 2012 3:09 pm
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Nana had to bring me to the sneaky vet today cos my eyes were really sore. Before Mummy went away she noticed that one of my eyes was a bit bloodshot and there was some stuff coming from it (the tracks of my tears, no doubt). Anyway, Nana's been bathing my eye in salty water and she thought I was getting better but this morning she noticed both my pretty little doggie eyes were sore - I couldn't flutter my eyelashes or nothin!

So I was hauled off to the vet. Had a good bark in the waiting room. Growled at a couple of dogs. Got poked and prodded, He said it's ok, it's "only conjunctivitis". Nothing to worry about, he said. It will clear up in 3 or 4 days, he said.

Well I have news for you, Mister Vet. I have an itis. That's a disease. I'm seriously ill.

He didn't even prescribe bed rest or extra treats or nothin. Just some stinky ointment Nana has to put on my eyes. And Mummy didn't even offer to come home from England or nothin. Life is so unfair.

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