Cleopatra's Classified Column

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An eventful trip to the beach!

May 7th 2012 3:19 pm
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Hello doggiepupsies! Today was a holiday in Ireland so Mummy, Nana and Grandad took me to the beach. Ooooh, I love the beach! I really like to jump around in the water and bite those big, noisy waves! Anyway, I had not one, but THREE life threatening situations! I'm still not the better of it all!

First, I got some sea water up my nose and it made me breathe funny, I thought I was going to die! Mummy was really worried about me but I managed to recover after a little while. Then, I was running after my ball and I think I slipped on a wet rock cos my paw was sore, I had to sit down and let Mummy check me out, then I sat beside her till I felt better. THEN I threw up beside the car, Mummy says that's cos I swallowed some sea water biting the waves. Oh woe is me!

Anyway, things got a lot better later. Mummy gave me lots of fresh water to drink and when we got home Nana gave me yummy chicken with gravy that she made especially for me, and Mummy even gave me some jam doughnut! Later, on the way home from Nana and Grandad's house, Mummy bought me my favourite treats in the shop and I've also had some of my favourite sweeties (my doggy choc drops). I am tired after such an eventful day so I'm off to have a nap!


Ice cream!

May 2nd 2012 9:15 am
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Mummy was just eating ice cream in the garden when a fly came along and got stuck in her ice cream! She threw it on the ground and I got to eat it! BOL!

On another note, I'm thinking of leaving Mummy into doggy daycare. At lunchtime she told me we were going to the park to play with my ball then she SHOUTED at me cos I told her to hurry up! She needs to spend some time learning how to behave nicely around dogs, I think.


Who's coming on a big adventure???

May 1st 2012 3:25 pm
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Hey, pupsters! My mummy went out today to do some shopping and LEFT ME ON MY OWN in the back garden! Anyway, while she was gone I got to thinking - how would she like it if I was to go off in her car and leave her at home on her own?

So then it came to me! Someday really soon when she's doing that work stuff I'm gonna take her car on an adventure and you're all invited! I can collect you all on the way. I know where the keys are and I've been observing how to drive from the back seat so I'm sure it's something I can master easily! I'll sneak some treats out whenever I'm going out in the car and hide them under the seat so we'll have a picnic! Anyway, I was thinking we can go to the beach, I have a ball we can play with. And I was thinking I'd love to go into a FIELD! Mummy doesn't let me into those, she says the farmers don't like dogs going into them. So I reckon there must be something very special that these farmers don't want us to see (we'd better pack a compass and binoculars just in case). Then after we've investigated the field we could maybe stop off at the pet store and get some choc drops to share! I know we need money for those but Mummy keeps a little change in the car for parking stuff so we can use that.

Now I know that a car needs stuff that we call petrol to make it run, I think some of you call it gas. I saw Mummy laughing at a joke once where someone ate beans and there was gas in their bottom. So we better stock up on beans too so we can put our gas into the car.

Who's with me?

.....em, what Mummy? No, I'm not typing anything! I am a dog after all! (better go pups, over and out!)


Mummy's lunch!

May 1st 2012 5:42 am
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Mummy made a delicious sandwich with egg and lots of mayonnaise for her lunch. I just had a lick of it, hee hee!


Treats in Nana and Grandad's house!

April 30th 2012 8:08 am
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I'm sitting in my Nana and Grandad's back garden having treats as I speak! I was soooooo bored earlier cos Mummy was doing that "work" thing but then Nana called and said she and Grandad were coming to collect me! Well, when Mummy told me I ran around in circles barking at Mummy to get my leash ready QUICKLY! Then I went off in Nana's car and they took me to a big forest with lots of interesting smells, then we went back to Nana and Grandad's house where I've been having treats and back rubs ever since! I wish I could do this every day!


I'm just not appreciated!

April 26th 2012 5:39 am
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My mother doesn't appreciate me - I just got my third diary award and she still treats me like I'm an "ordinary" dog! I've been barking at her to bring me to the pet store and buy me something nice to reflect my celebrity status - I was thinking of maybe a nice jewel - encrusted collar or maybe a year's supply of choc drops for starters. Anyway, she just told me she's working but I don't regard sitting at a computer as working, she should try keeping law and order in TWO back gardens, then she'll know what real work is!


Sweeties, mmmmmmmmm!

April 20th 2012 7:28 pm
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Mummy and I have a little ritual every night! Mummy goes up to change and then we watch TV, but I've found a clever way of getting extra sweeties! When Mummy goes upstairs I follow her cos I know she keeps my bedtime sweeties on her locker, she gives me a few when she's changing. I do the "sad eyes cos I'm being neglected for five minutes" look - works every time! Anyway, I've uploaded a photo of me tonight on Mummy's bed, she put her nice warm fluffy sweatshirt around me while she was changing. Wrapped around my paw she is :-)


New neighbour!

April 20th 2012 6:52 am
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We have a new dog in our estate! I saw him earlier when I was sitting on Mummy's bed upstairs. He's a husky - I LOVE huskies! Anyway I was barking my welcomes out at him but he couldn't hear me, so I went downstairs and barked more welcomes from the sofa. Then Mummy shouted at me to be quiet. Doesn't she know anything about etiquette?

Anyway, I was just watching a programme on Discovery about an emergency vet, I was just barking at a sick dog to tell him he'll be ok, but Mummy shouted at me to be quiet!


Mummy can be so mean!

April 17th 2012 3:25 pm
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Paws up pup pals - do you love finding doggie poo as exciting as I do? When I spot a nice, squishy, smelly pile of doggie-doo I just can't help it - I LOVE to roll around in it, legs akimbo! Bliss! To me, finding such a gem in the long grass is the doggie equivalent of a human finding an oasis in the desert!!! Mummy even gets in on the act - she pulls all the windows down in the car on the way home to alert all the passing people and dogs to my wonderful find!

Then it all changes and Mummy gets really mean! She actually WASHES me with smelly dog shampoo! Poooooh! Once (and I'm so embarrassed to admit this but I'm among friends, right?) she even rubbed some Chanel body oil into my hair! I was mortified! I couldn't be smelt in polite canine company for days!


Arthur Itis

April 17th 2012 3:20 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

Mummy brought me for a quick run in the park earlier and I met my friend Ben who told me something worrying. He heard the vet telling his Mum that some character called Arthur Itis had "affected" his leg. I don't know what "affected" means but I don't like the sound of this Arthur chap. So if you receive a pup pal request from this Arthur, politely but firmly tell them that you know he "affected" Cleo's friend Ben's poor leg and you want nothing to do with him. You have been warned!

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