Thank you Dogster!

Thank you for my blue star, Dogster! It's beautiful! You should see all of the stars from up here. They are simply breathtaking!

I think of Dogster and all of my friends from here quite often. It does feel a little awkward though because so much has changed. I do pop in, one just never knows when!

Love,
Shadow xx

Merry Christmas Sweet Angel

Merry Christmas Sweetheart. Mommy misses you so much. I've been thinking of you alot lately. Are you having fun with your friends at the Bridge? Did Muffy find you yet? Do you know that Sunny has never gotten into your bed upstairs? Do you still use it sometimes? She uses your little downstairs bed, I told her you wouldn't mind. Mommy put all of your favorite toys away. I just can't bear to have anything happen to them. I love you so much baby girl. I know you are watching over mommy and daddy and Sunny. Thank you for that. It's almost a year since you've been gone. Sometimes it seems longer and other times it seems like you were just here. I wish I could communicate with you myself, wouldn't that be fun? I'd love to know what you think of Sunny. She's a character! Did you know when we came back without you that day that Bosco went around the house looking for you? He's gotten used to Sunny but for some reason she wants to kiss his face all the time. He gets a little irritated but he doesn't get mad at her. It makes me think of you and Bosco when he wanted to play all the time. You two were so funny together. He was the baby, but so much bigger. You never had a problem putting him in his place when you finally got fed up. But still, you were so patient with him. Sweet Angel, mommy never told you this, but you seemed almost perfect. Maybe that's why you were called Home. I love you baby girl and I'll see you again someday. Watch for me.

Happy Birthday Angel Girl

Today you would have seen 17 years sweetheart. Mommy misses you so much baby girl, I think of you all the time. You were such a calm presence and so attuned to us, almost like you could read our minds. My little soul dog.... You took care of us as much as we took care of you. I'm sorry for telling you that you had to live forever. I know now that you tried. I never realized how sick you were that last week until I told you that you could go ahead and go if you wanted to. The very next day, your health declined rapidly. I wanted to be selfish and keep you with me but I knew you were ready and I loved you too much put you through anything more. Thank you sweetheart for 16 1/2 wonderful years of your love and companionship. Thank you for letting me know that what we did was right, because even though I miss you so much, I am at peace with it. I did find "your song" just in time for your birthday too.... I love you baby girl and look forward to when we meet again.

Don't be sad Mommy

Mommy's been sad lately, I can see it in her eyes. I think she's been missing me more than usual and I'm pretty sure it's because the campground will be opening pretty soon. She knows how much I loved camping. Don't be sad mommy. Though I would dearly love to be there in body, you can bet I'll be there in spirit. Talk to me every night like you always do and I'll be happy. I love you and daddy.

New, old pictures

Well, mom finally was able to download the pictures of me from her camera phone. Her phone service has free photo messaging for about a month. The quality isn't that great, they're dark, grainy and look black and white. Though to her I'm sure they are prize-winning! Gotta love Moms!

I Can See Clearly Now

Mommy picked up my ashes today. She said she is going to make a memory box for me. I hope she doesn't get all silly with it.

Diane and Xeenie pops found the words to the song I sent my mom. Mommy heard the song before but couldn't remember all the words. I think she thought because of the title that I can see now (which I can) but since she read all the words, now she understands the whole message I was sending her. I hope they don't mind if I copy it into my diary.

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin' for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

By Johnny Nash...............

It hurts so bad...

This is Shadow's mom. I just wanted to let her pup pals know that we had to send our baby to the Bridge this afternoon. I kind of knew something was wrong because she didn't eat anything all day Friday and she slept all day and night except for about 45 min. Then today while I was getting my hair cut my husband called and said he was taking her to the animal hospital because she was weak and couldn't stand very well. At the hospital they did blood tests and took xrays and everything looked okay except for her liver enzymes. It showed she was in liver failure. They could have put her on IVs for 24 hours and extend her life by maybe a couple days or so. But we didn't want her to suffer and I didn't want her to die alone. Oh Lord, I miss her already and it hurts so bad.

What a great day...thank YOU Dogster!

When mommy told me I made Diary of the Day for Thursday, Dec 1st...well I was so excited it just took my breath away! I mean there are other diaries out there that are far more deserving. I think that it was my new Holiday picture that caught Dogster HQ's attention! But boy, I was doing a happy dance all day and my head was somewhere up in the clouds. It took mom a while to pull me back down!

I do want to thank all of my sweet pals that sent me pmails, gave me Rosettes and cheered for me in a couple of forum threads. You know who you are and I love you all. I also want to thank the pups that asked me to be pup pals with them, it makes this old dog heart feel good!

My Holiday pictures

Don't you just think my Holiday pictures are the bomb?! I haven't put the other one up yet but you'll see it soon. I want to sincerely thank Sophie the rapper and her pack for making my pictures for me. When it comes to computer graphics, my mommy isn't that savvy. Maybe one day she'll "get" it but at least today I have my holiday pictures!! (Sorry mom, I still love you though xxx!)

Shocking "current" affair

Tonight I scared everybody, including myself. Mommy, daddy and my aunt were watching a movie on TV. I don't even know how it happened because it happened so fast, but somehow I got tangled up in the cords to the stereo and the treadmill. Being 16 my eyesight isn't what it used to be but I know the layout of the living room and mom and dad keep it that way for me. Well, it felt like something was grabbing at me so I snapped at it. I don't remember what happened but I know I peed and pooped and I feel so bad. Then I remember being in mommy's arms and feeling safe...I laid there a long time.

This is Shadow's mom. Oh my gosh, she scared the crap out of us! We heard a scrabbling in the corner and I thought she was having a seizure. Her daddy went over to get her and here she had an electrical cord in her mouth! Her mouth was clamped so tight that he couldn't pull the cord out. While he was prying her mouth open and pulling on the cord at the same time, it came unplugged and he was able to get it out. The cord was bitten almost all the way through! She must have had a good bit of electrical current going through her for her mouth to stay clamped like that and going potty too. I can just imagine how scared she must have been. Of course I grabbed her up to check her out and hug her. She seemed aware, maybe just a little dazed and she was panting like she does after a seizure. She stayed in my arms for a long time and let me cuddle her and she hasn't done that for a long time. I think we got to her quickly enough because she seems likes herself. I think it scared her more than anything else.