Exciting Night!

So I'm out in the front yard doing my private doggie business. Momma is, of course, obsessively watching me because, well, she's Momma. It's what she does. Of course, her obsessiveness DID land me in surgery for bladder stones when she saw me peeing blood...but I could have gotten really really sick if she hadn't noticed, so I guess I can't complain TOO much. Still, a pup would like to have SOME privacy.

Anyhow, Momma's standing in the house watching me, and she says "I swear I just saw a tail beebopping down the street..." As soon as she says this, a beagle puppy comes strolling into the yard, JUST as I had found the perfect spot to do my business. As soon as the puppy spots me he tries to start playing with me! The nerve! Some upstart puppy comes into MY yard while I'm doing my PRIVATE BUSINESS and puppy bows to me! I could hear Momma giggling in the door way. Ok, ok, he WAS pretty cute, I'll give him that. Momma wrestles me back into the house, and this pup tries to follow me!! Momma says "No, no puppy, you can't come in." Cause what if he would have had FLEAS or something!! Or COOTIES! BLECH!

Momma grabs his collar to look at his tags, but he's not wearing any!! OH NO! But...but...he's a PUPPY, he's clean and obviously well taken care of, he HAS to have pawrents SOMEWHERE! Ok, so I'll admit, I WAS jealous that he was jumping all over my Momma, trying to kiss her and she WAS cooing all over him. But STILL...it's JANUARY and it's COLD out there! So Momma tries to hook him up to my outside lead, but he squirmed away and took off.

Momma was pretty upset. She tried to follow him but it's dark out and she couldn't see anything. She came back to the house and told Daddy "If he comes back I'm tackling him, hooking him up to the lead, and calling the police!" She was afraid he'd get hit by a car. And he WAS pretty cute.

About 15 minutes later Momma realized I hadn't actually gotten to DO my private business, so she let me out again. As soon as I stepped off the porch this puppy came sprinting up to me from my neighbor's yard!!! "THAT'S IT!" Momma said. She shoved me back into the house again (I STILL DIDN'T DO MY PRIVATE BUSINESS DARN IT!!!!) and wrestled this dog to the ground. Well, he thought she was playing, so he wrestled back. It was kinda funny. But she managed to get him hooked up this time. When she came back into the house to call the police he started crying. I know, puppy, I miss Momma, too, when she leaves. She called the police, who sent out Animal Control. This poor puppy is just sitting on our front porch crying.

Momma went next door to ask my best good friend, Sarah, if she knew who the puppy belonged to. Sarah said she'd never seen him before, but she felt bad so she gave him a few treats. Then she brought him a bowl of puppy food, which he gobbled up like CRAZY. Momma wasn't sure if this was such a good idea, but...well, he WAS pretty cute. Momma gave him a bowl of water, and her and Sarah stood out in the freezing cold oooohing and aaaaahing over this puppy. I was pretty jealous. The Animal Control guy came, and he was REALLY nice to the puppy. He said that a dog that well taken care of (especially a puppy) clearly belongs to someone, so he said he'd probably have a call very soon about a missing pup. He said he'd scan him for a chip. Like a potato chip? Hm...interesting.

Momma says his owner may have attached his leash to the flimsy ring that comes with the rabies tag or ID tag and the puppy broke it. I've done that before, so I guess it could happen. Momma says she doesn't want to think about what happens if no one claims him. I don't know what that means, but suddenly I'm very happy that Momma watches over me while I pee.

Speaking of pee, I STILL HAVEN'T GONE, MOMMA! What's a pup gotta do to get some attention around here? SHEESH!

WHEW!

Good news, pups! Momma found her mind. It was in a warm bubble bath. Who knew? I didn't look there cause I thought it would have drownded.

Humans are weird...

Oh dear...

I don't know what to do, pups. Momma says she thinks she's lost her mind, and I can't find it ANYWHERE! Today was the first day it WASN'T snowing, so she thought she was gonna have a GOOD DAY, but it turns out she had a BAD DAY. Those little humans she teaches were bad bad bad. She says none of them listened to her at all and it was very very loud in the classroom. So I'm trying to be quiet, but I'm worried cause I can't find her mind!

I looked under the couch, under the table, on her recliner, in the toilet, in the kitchen...nothing! I even checked around all the bushes outside but it's not there!!!

If you were a mind where would you hide?

SHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm trying to be very very quiet. Momma is SICK. Like, REALLY sick. She keeps complaining about her head and her belly and she goes into the bathroom and doesn't come out for a long time but when she does she's shivering. So I'm trying to be a good schnauzer and be as quiet as I can. Plus I've been snuggling with her to keep her warm cause she's so COLD. I don't like it when Momma is sick cause she won't let me give her kisses cause she doesn't want ME to get sick.

Poor Momma.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year fur friends! I stayed up way late last night! Momma's family was over here last night and boy did they give me LOVE. They were snuggling and kissing and petting and squishing (none of THAT please!) and they kept saying they were going to put me in their purses and take me home. I'm not THAT little! Geeze! Momma said she'd never let that happen. And my BFF Natalie was here and I gave her kiss after kiss after kiss while she giggled. I heart her.

Well, friends I certainly hope we all have a happy and HEALTHY year. That goes for people as well as pets!

Sad News

I have very sad news to report tonight fur friends. A very nice schnauzer, Georgie, has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. I'm very very sad about this and so is Momma. If you can take a few minutes to say a prayer for Georgie and her nice Momma, please do. While Georgie is no longer in pain, her Momma is probably suffering something awful tonight and could probably use some peace.

Good-bye Georgie. You'll be missed, but we'll all see you again sometime. Until then...

Is it Spring Yet?

Snow snow snow. More and more snow every day. I LIKE the snow, but it's getting to be too much. It's hard for a little dog like me to go potty in all the snow! Good thing I got my sweater from Ho Ho it keeps me nice and warm outside.

Momma is also sick of the snow. When she came downstairs this morning and saw the sidewalk covered in snow AGAIN, she said some naughty words. I told her, you're lucky Ho Ho already came, cause he would NOT like those words. She says she's ready for spring. And then I reminded her of the war she had last year with the squirrels and the chipmunks over her garden and sunflowers. She said maybe she could wait a LITTLE while longer.

Me, I'll just take a nap until winter is over.

Merry Christmas!

Ho Ho came! Ho Ho came! And he brought me a SQUIRREL! Ok so it's not a real one, it's a fake, but it LOOKS real! And it squeaks, too! THANK YOU HO HO! He also brought me some Nyla bones, both chicken and liver flavored! And a new leash so me and Momma can go on walks!

Then I went to Grammy and Pap Pap's house and GUESS WHAT? Ho Ho stopped there for me too! He gave me a Nyla bone (YAY!) and a new sweater!! I've never liked wearing clothes before but I'm LOVING my sweater! Momma says a whole new window of opportunity has opened for her. I dunno what that means, but Daddy sort of groaned, so it can't be good. Anyhow, Momma's gonna put a picture of me hugging my squirrel and me in my new sweater on my page real soon, so look for them!

And now I just wanna say Merry Christmas to all my pup friends and their people. Be grateful for every day you have, cause you never know what's gonna happen. Pups, be sure to show your people every day how much you love them and how grateful you are to have a nice, warm home with plenty of food, toys and love. Not every pup has that. People, be sure to show your pup every day how much you love them. Give them plenty of ear rubs and hugs (if you're into that sort of thing) and kisses. Forgive your pups when they're a little bit naughty. It's part of our charm, after all!

Merry Christmas!

HOORAY!

Momma and Daddy only have one more wake up and then they're off for 11 whole days! That's 11 whole days they get to spend with ME, Fizzy!! I get to sleep in with Momma and play with Daddy and visit Uncle Thumper and OH YEAH! HO HO IS COMING!!! These are some exciting times we live in!

But last night Momma said I might be on the NAUGHTY LIST! I decided I NEEDED to play at midnight. But Momma and Daddy were already in bed sleeping, but...but...I wanted to play. And when they wouldn't play I decided I HAD to go potty right then and there, even though I had just GONE potty at 11 PM. So I woofed and I woofed and I woofed...everyone ignored me, so I jumped up on the bed, then down off the bed, then up on the bed, then down off the bed...I kept woofing too. Then Momma shouted "You're on Ho Ho's naughty list!!!!" and took me out to the front yard to potty...crap. I was just a little wound up!! Just a little, Ho Ho, I can't HELP it! I'm 5 years old but really, I'm still a puppy on the inside...

Can I come off the naughty list now? I been real good aaaaaaaall day...promise...

Ew Momma!

The past couple of nights when we go to bed, I've been giving Momma lots and lots of kisses. Like 10 minutes worth! Momma says she thinks I'm trying to butter her up so she'll tell Ho Ho how good I've been. But that doesn't make any sense. I don't have any butter. I'm not even allowed to EAT any butter. I'm too small to get into the magic box of food to even look for any. And even if I DID have butter I wouldn't put it on Momma. That's weird. I'd just EAT it (even though I'm not supposed to.)

All I'm trying to do is remind Momma that I'm a good boy and I really really REALLY want my own squirrel. And a panda. A few ear rubs will be good, too.

Geeze Momma...she's so weird...