December 18th 2011 1:44 pm
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I figured out why Mom is buying us a new house. It's because I'm naughty. Specifically, it's because I bark too much.
In this house, in the living room, there are a lot of windows, and they are placed really low. So I can sit there and look out the windows. They are so low that Meri can stand on her hind legs and look out too. (I added a photo on my page so you can see how great the windows are because sometimes it's hard for me to describe things.)
So we do that. Most of the time, I just look out and watch people walk up and down the street. But sometimes, a dog will walk by, and I feel obligated to remind him that this is my street.
Or, -- I think I mentioned this earlier -- there will be a squirrel or two in our front yard. Those guys really annoy me. It's one thing for a dog to be on my street. But those squirrels are in my YARD! So I yell at them to get out of my yard, and I smack the window with my paw for emphasis.
THAT always gets me in trouble.
Mom always says, "Celo! Boardroom!"
In fact, she does it so much that usually, I just smack the window, then head off to my boardroom myself. I don't even wait to be told. Why wait? She ALWAYS says it. This way, I just go in, lie down, and wait. She doesn't even get to say, "I told you so."
Ok, so Mom has never said, "I told you so." But Meri does, sometimes.
Actually, I think Meri is part of the problem. Sometimes, Meri will be lying on her bed chewing her bully stick, and when I bark, she comes running over, looks out the window and then starts barking too. So then Mom says, "Peeps! (That's what she calls us). Quiet!" And we both get in trouble.
So it's best that I just go to my boardroom after I've told everyone to get out of my territory. I said what I needed to say, after all. If Meri wants to continue barking, and sometimes she does, then SHE can be the one to get in trouble. And besides, I can steal her bully stick from her bed on my way to the boardroom.
So today, I was lying in my boardroom after telling the two Golden Retrievers who insist on walking on my street every single day to leave. And Mom said, "you know, Celo. The new house doesn't have big front windows. There is only one front window. And it's too high for you to see out of."
The New House. My nemesis. I had hoped she had abandoned this crazy idea, what with Christmas and Santa coming. How is Santa going to come down our chimney if there is another house in our yard? What if he goes into the wrong house and there are no little dogs there because we're in the OTHER house? Will he still leave our presents?
But she still plans to buy this new house. I guess she will get it at Costco. Mom buys everything at Costco. I wonder when she is going to buy it? It sounds like she has bought it already because she sure knows a lot about it. But I haven't seen it yet. Maybe she needed to order it online? Sometimes she does that, like when she buys my mackeral from Amazon.
Maybe she special-ordered it so that it has no front windows for me to look through? That would be especially cruel, though; don't you think? That means the squirrels would take over my front yard and I wouldn't be able to say a darn thing about it.
Oh jeez. This isn't good at all. This is going to be a terrible Christmas. I can just feel it.
December 18th 2011 2:38 am
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I think Mom has lost her mind.
Tonight, she got two of those big green garbage bags. The ones that make the big "Ka-chish" sound when she snaps them open, and if you're sleeping in the kitchen, will wake you up kind of scared. Not that I'm afraid of garbage bags. But normal garbage bags are white and small and they don't knock me out of my pleasant dreams like the big green ones. You gotta watch out for the green ones.
Anyhow, I saw her take two of the green ones out, so I was ready. They weren't going to scare me. But what she did with them worried me. She walked over to the refrigerator and just started to drop perfectly good food in them.
Yes. Just like that!
Oh, she'd take most of the jars and cans and put them on the counter. And the icky vegetables and fruits (that I don't care about), she put them in a separate container. She put some tortillas and cooked rice in that container too. And she took all those wonderful containers of perfectly good food, all those leftover enchiladas and lasagna and macaroni and cheese, and she just dumped them in that bag.
Meri and I just sat there, stunned.
Meri whispered to me, "Maybe she's going to give that to us?" So Meri walked over to the bag quietly and sniffed. "Mer, leave it." Mom said.
Meri walked back and sat with me again.
On the table, Mom lined up the milk, some eggs, my yellow cheese (thank God she didn't throw away my yellow cheese!), and a couple other things. Everything else went into that horrible bag, the fruit container or on the counter.
Then, she opened all the jars and poured them into the fruit container, rinsed them and the cans and put them in boxes. Some of those jars had stuff I'd like to taste, like huckleberry jam. Nope. She didn't share that either.
We didn't know what to say. We kept sniffing the air, watching Mom, looking at each other and watching her again, horrified at what we were seeing. Mom always says she hates to waste food, but here she was, throwing away perfectly good food that Meri and I would have loved to eat, like mashed potatoes and a little bit of taco meat.
Then it got worse. Mom opened the freezer. She hasn't been buying any meat in, well, forever. Meri inventories all the groceries when Mom gets home from the store, and she reported the fact that Mom has been a negligent shopper to me a few weeks ago.
Meri had been really worried. What would we do if there were an emergency? We were eating away all of our emergency supply of food, especially meat. I considered it and figured that probably, Santa would bring us new meat for Christmas, so I wasn't worried and had not given it much thought. After all, we've had emergencies before and always had plenty of meat, right? I told her so, and it seemed to make sense at the time.
But as Mom opened the freezer, I peeked around her legs and noticed that Meri was right. The freezer was almost empty. There was a package of bison meat, some turkey burgers, some icky frozen vegetables (Meri says that green beans are delicious and I should quit calling all vegetables icky.). Ok, there were some green beans and some icky vegetables too. And what looked like a container of frozen homemade enchiladas. These are Dad's favorite. He says Mom makes excellent enchiladas. I've never had them, but Meri has. She said they have a lot of chicken in them (I'm allergic to chicken), a whole bunch of cheese, and some other stuff that make them The Best Food Ever.
I should point out that Meri thinks whatever she is eating at the time is The Best Food Ever. She IS a beagle. But Dad really likes them too, so I suppose that's something.
So Mom started to pull stuff out of the freezer. First she took out the bison. I almost fainted. That is MY bison. I love bison, which really is The Best Food Ever. She looked at it for a while, then put it on the top shelf of the freezer.
I started to breathe again. She took out some turkey burgers. Meri looked equally panicked and adorable. I guess she figured that if she looked really cute, Mom might give her one. But Mom looked at all of them, pulled off a few that looked white, like they were icy, and set the other few back in. The icy ones she put in the bags. Meri was heartbroken.
Mom picked up a bag of frozen green beans. I thought Meri would be really sad, but I guess after the turkey burgers, she couldn't get any more depressed. Mom poured some of those in a zip loc bag. She looked over at Meri and said, "I saved those for you," which made Meri feel a little bit better. The rest went into the fruit container. She took the homemade enchiladas, glanced at me, and said "Dad would like these, don't you think?" I did think so. She put those back in.
She threw out some containers of frozen cooked spaghetti. But she did save the bag of horrible spinach, darn it.
And then she turned around, took the awful smelling spray stuff that she uses and sprayed inside the refrigerator. She wiped it out and put the milk, bread and other stuff from the table back in.
Except the cheese.
She looked at both of us: each of us carefully. "You've been very good tonight. Would you like some cheese?" She gave Meri her little piece of cheese, which Meri took and ran away with. (Meri always does that, like I might try to steal it from her. Ok, sometimes I try to. But she acts like I ALWAYS do, which isn't true).
Then Mom took two pieces of yellow cheese, ripped off little pieces just the way I like it -- because I don't like cold stuff on my teeth. And she fed it to me, piece by piece, which is the perfect way to eat cheese.
Then she said the best thing of all: "Celo, do you want to help me take this outside?"
So I was able to go outside with Mom, not once or twice but a bunch of times as we took out the garbage bags, the box with the jars, the cans, and the fruit container. It was like old times, before my surgery, when I used to help Mom do everything. Of course, I had to be on a leash. I couldn't just run around the front yard like I used to. But it was still nice to be able to help Mom -- heck, to do ANYTHING after all these weeks of being bored.
So, I don't have any idea why Mom threw away all our food. All I can think is that Meri and I have been SO good this year -- and I've been especially good with my surgery -- that Santa is going to bring us enough brand new food and meat to fill the whole refrigerator and freezer. So Mom had to make enough room for the new stuff, which of course, meant throwing away some of the old stuff.
That does totally make sense. And I bet that she saved that awful spinach because she knows Santa is too kind to ever bring something that horrible to good dogs like Meri and me.
That's got to be it.
I can't wait to tell Meri. She's going to be so relieved.
December 16th 2011 11:12 pm
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Today, we went everywhere.
Mom said we have to do a bunch of stuff before we move. So she lifted Meri and me into the car. Then she hopped in, and off we went. Meri and I were very excited. We like going for rides.
But this ride never seemed to stop.
Oh, the car stopped. Mom got out. She said she'd be right back. She locked the car and boop-booped the Larm (yes, the car has a Larm too). Then she got back in. And we went somewhere else, where she got out and did it all over again.
We were in the car forever.
I whined and told Mom I was bored. But she asked me, "Would you rather be at home?" She had a point.
It was a nice day, not sunny, so not too hot for me. But not too cold for Meri. And it wasn't raining, so Meri and I could see out the window as we drove around.
We went to the bank, the credit union, the pet food store, the grocery store, and we drove through the coffee store where Mom got her coffee. The coffee store is like the cheeseburger store where Mom drives up to the window and they give her cheeseburgers for us, except that the coffee store gives her coffee for her. I'm not sure I would want coffee anyhow. That always smells weird, and I'm not sure I would like it. Mom doesn't go to the coffee store often. She usually makes it at home. But sometimes, she forgets to make it, or if I'm being really naughty when she's trying to load me into the car, she makes it but forgets to grab it because I've distracted her. Then, after she's boop-booped the Larm and locked all the doors, and we're driving down the street, she says "My coffee! Darn it!"
I guess coffee is like lamb lung. I hate starting my day without lamb lung. Mom gives me breakfast, but I really don't get going until she gives me a nice scrumptious square of dehydrated lamb lung. It just gets your day going, you know?
So, we went to the coffee store. Then we went to some other stores. I didn't even recognize all of them. Just lots of buildings with lots of doors that I couldn't go into. So I took a nap.
Then I woke up and we were driving by the Big Park that's Not Close To Our House. And I recognized it because I've done some training at that park and since it's Not Close, it's very exciting when we go there. But Mom said I wasn't there for training, and I couldn't get out of the car.
Then she got out and boop-booped the Larm.
She came back later. It seemed like she was gone forever. But she was in a really good mood. She told us that she got our Christmas ornaments, and Meri and I were very excited. Then I realized where we were (besides at the Not Close Big Park). Every Christmas that I've been alive (two), Mom and Dad go to this lady's house and buy us our Christmas ornaments. Meri and I each get our own ornaments. They have our names on them, so they're ours. We don't have to share them. And they buy one that has ALL of our names on them: Dad, Mom, Meri and Celo. Plus the year.
And then we get to put all our ornaments on the Christmas tree.
This is important because my sisters Zamboni and Grover and my brother Camper each had Christmas ornaments for every Christmas they celebrated. And Meri has her three ornaments (thus far. She said I should write "thus far.").
But I only have two, which is kind of sad. I mean, Zamboni has 16 ornaments. So it looks like Mom and Dad love Zamboni 16 more times than me.
(Meri said that she thinks my math is wrong. But she also said that it's probably true that our parents love Zamboni at least 16 times more than me, so I should leave it.)
But today, we each got our new ornaments for this year. Meri thought that my ornament might be a dog using crutches because I'm lame right now. I didn't think that would be funny, and Mom isn't that cruel, is she? And besides, I've only been this way for 5 weeks. But most of 2011, I've been swimming, playing soccer, running, jumping, jogging in the water tank, camping, hiking, chasing squirrels, and doing all sorts of other interesting stuff. Right?
I was so excited about my ornament, I totally forgot that I wanted to go play in the big park. When Mom stopped and got dinner on the way home, I whined to her to hurry. Finally, we got home. And she showed us our ornaments.
Mine was perfect. It's a very athletic skilled soccer player, which is exactly like me. Meri's is pretty good too: it's a little pink princess with a magic wand, which is what Meri thinks she has: the ability to make everyone do what she wants. They both have our name on them, just like they're supposed to. And the family ornament has all of us playing in the snow. Since I love snow, that's perfect too.
And then I realized. We don't have a Christmas tree to hang up our ornaments. I walked around our almost empty house just to make sure that Mom didn't put it in one of the back rooms, but nope: no Christmas tree.
Mom said that we'll have a Christmas tree at our new house. That makes no sense to me. Why would we buy a new house? Where do you buy houses? And where would we put it? In our yard next to this house? That would just make my big yard smaller, wouldn't it? I LIKE having a big yard!
I would think that Mom was joking, but she also bought an ornament that says "Our New House." So I don't think she is.
I don't want a new house, not if it means my yard is going to be smaller. I just want a Christmas tree in this house.
This is all very confusing.
All I know is that I'm glad that I got my ornament this year. That means that Mom and Dad love me, maybe not as much as Zamboni, but more than they loved me last year. Give me a few more years: I'm getting there!
December 15th 2011 12:59 pm
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Mom says we almost had a spectacle today.
I don't see the big deal. Mom has lots of spectacles. She wears them when she doesn't wear her contact lenses. I learned that word when I was sitting bored at PetSmart. Meri got to go into the store with Mom, and I was noticing a Ben Franklin store next to PetSmart. And I wondered who is this Ben guy? What's he selling? Mom had left her phone in the car, so I googled it. Turns out, he knows a lot about spectacles. He invented them, and he wore them. Mom doesn't wear them very often, only sometimes, when she says her eyes are tired. That makes no sense to me. I've had tired legs and tired hips from running and jumping a lot. But no matter how much looking I've done, I've never tired out my eyes.
But this morning, she accused me of almost causing one. I guess I am like Ben.
It all started because we have a Larm. Do you have a Larm? It's a box on the wall and it goes boop-boop whenever you open a door or window. It's an excellent way to keep track of humans. They can't sneak out without your knowing.
Whenever we leave the house for a while, Mom and Dad stand at the Larm and make it go boop-beep-beep-boop and then they say, "Hurry up, Celo, or you will make the Larm sound," which is exactly what they just did. (Humans, always with the double standard, you know?) They make it do the same thing when they come home too. If Mom is home alone with us, she almost always does it too. Makes zero sense to me.
The thing is, when they do the Larm, it usually means we're going somewhere, or at the very least, outside into the yard. And when you're a German Shepherd healing from a bionic hip who doesn't get to do ANYTHING, going outside suddenly becomes very exciting.
Which brings us to this morning.
Mom was doing the boop-beep-beep-boop at the Larm this morning and I got pretty darn excited. I had already been out to potty once, so it wasn't like I NEEDED to be excited. I'm just bored, you know?
But since I was in a rush to get outside, I kind of bumped into and tripped her as she was standing there. And she gasped: "Oh Gosh! I touched the Police Panic Button!"
I didn't know what that meant. Next thing she was running for the phone. But I still wanted to go outside, so I ran after her whining. And she said, "STOP IT!" Which Mom is never that abrupt with me, so I stopped it.
Mom talked on the phone for a while. Then she waited, and talked some more.
Then she looked at me, very sternly, and said, "it's ok. The police aren't coming. But that could have been a spectacle."
And I had no idea what she was talking about. I've never met Police. I've met plenty of Park Rangers (and none of them wore spectacles by the way), and they're always really nice to me, which makes sense since they hang out with my cousins: the wolves, coyotes, and bears. Police have K9 units, so I'd like to meet them. But apparently I'm not going to, thanks to whatever Mom said on the phone.
So Meri and I sat and looked at that Larm for a while. And we wondered what magical powers it has. And all we can conclude is that it can see everything we do: it's a giant spectacle.
And that terrified Meri, who is always doing naughty things when Mom isn't looking.
So when I finally went outside, I looked around, just in case there were Police coming. But there weren't any. I was really disappointed. But now I know how to get them here. I just need to drag a chair over to the wall, stand on my hind paws, and push that button. Good thing Mom taught me "touch" (with my paw) and "target" (with my nose) commands...
Might be kind of handy for those days I'm really bored, you know?
December 14th 2011 2:21 pm
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Meri said I should tell you about what else is up with us. But I'm not sure I know enough to tell you.
Ok, something is going on. But I don't quite understand all of it. But I never totally understand humans. They do so many peculiar things; don't you think?
All our stuff is gone. Well, not Meri's and my stuff. Most of that is still here. Our beds are here. Our boardrooms are here. Our toys are here. Well, most of our toys. Mom put a lot of our toys in a big box and complained to Dad how she could fit about half of our toys in a gigantic box, and we still had plenty left. I don't know why she was complaining. I think that's a good thing. But Mom is kind of weird that way.
Our food and treats are still here. The computer so I can write my blog is (obviously) still here. And unfortunately, my neck collars so I don't chew my toes are still here.
But otherwise, the house is empty. It's so empty that Mom pushed together my best dog beds; she put a sheet and some blankets on them, and SHE is sleeping with US on the dog beds because she doesn't have a people bed here anymore. I keep thinking it would be funny to make Mom to get off MY bed like she would make me get off HER bed. But I think that somehow, she wouldn't find it so funny. So I just get in bed, smash up ReallyCloseNextToMom so that she says "Celo, I can't breathe!" and I fall asleep, snuggly and warm. Don't tell her, but I like having Mom sleeping on my bed.
It's been pretty nice for Meri because usually, she sleeps in her boardroom at night, but Mom has been letting her sleep in the big bed with us. Meri says she isn't sure where the big people bed went, but when it comes back, she's going to insist that she gets to sleep on it too.
Somehow, I don't think that's going to turn out well for Meri.
Anyhow, our stuff just disappeared.
Well, not entirely. For a couple of weeks, Mom put everything that we own (except Meri's and my stuff) in boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. At first, it was fun. There was a lot of stuff to zoom and weave around. Then, we could barely run in the house. Then, we could barely walk. Then these guys came and took all our stuff. I wasn't happy about that. So Mom put me in the MotorDen to "chill." But it was warm out, so I didn't chill. (I don't know what she is thinking sometimes.)
And all our stuff was gone. It turns out that an empty house is an excellent place to zoom and run around in. And Mom, Dad and Meri and I did a lot of that. We had an amazing time.
Until I had my bionic hip operation. So now I'm in a house perfect for zooming, and I can't do anything. Fate can be so cruel.
Meri and I aren't quite sure where all our stuff went. But Mom and Dad don't see too concerned though. Dad keeps saying to Mom, "they're going to love it." Mom replies, "remember how Grover hated moving?" which totally confuses me. I've seen lots of photos of Grover, and I've read her diary. Grover loved to swim, run, hike and stretch out on her bed. Grover was an excellent mover, it seems. Now, granted, I never had the opportunity to meet my older sister, but Zamboni told me a lot about her, and never once did Boni say that Grover preferred to sit still like a furry dog statue all day long.
So I don't quite understand it all.
But one nice thing is that Mom has been talking to my trainer, Miss K, about coming and living in our house. I've heard the conversations myself. I can't tell you how excited I am that we would all live together!
So maybe that's why we're getting rid of our stuff, to make room for my trainer and her stuff? She has a lot of dog stuff, so that would be great.
I wonder if she has a big bed and we'll all sleep on it together?
All I know is that Dad said we're going to love it, so I think that must be it!
I'm looking forward to it!!!
December 13th 2011 6:51 pm
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I spent today with at Sir Jin's.
I had to wake up really early, and I didn't get any breakfast, which isn't so great. But I was excited because when we wake up early, that usually means that Something Is Up. And when Something Is Up, I follow Mom around and whine a lot, just to remind her that I want to be included and go with her and not be left at home.
And Mom always says, "Celo, Gosh! Get OUT of my way!!!" Which is kind of rude, because I'm just showing her how much I want to be with her, so I stand and walk RightNextToHer.
So, she finally was done doing all her human stuff and she lifted me into the car. That's a New Thing. I used to just step on my little stool and then hop into the car. But since my hip operation, Mom lifts me right into the car. It's kind of strange. She counts One. Two. Three. And then she lifts me up and puts me into my crate in the car. So I know I can be squirmy for three seconds. If she just said "One," then I wouldn't be squirmy. But she makes the rules, so I get extra time to squirm and look around to see if there are any cats walking by that I can bark at.
It's kind of impressive that Mom just lifts me straight up. I'm not a teeny dog like Meri. That shows how strong Mom is. And that should explain to you why all of us are just a little bit afraid of Mom. She's a Stickler. And she's strong. So we don't mess with her. When Meri misbehaves, she just picks Meri up. When I'm naughty, she doesn't pick me up, but she CAN, and that's enough.
So I try not to be naughty... well, not too much. Sometimes, naughty is just too tempting, like when the squirrel is in the front yard and I'm watching through the front window. I can't help myself. I have to bark to tell the squirrel, "hey! get out of my yard!" But in all honesty, that probably isn't so much what gets me into trouble: it's how I smack the window with my paw for emphasis. But if you aren't firm with squirrels, they'll take over. But Mom doesn't understand that. She thinks I'm being naughty.
Anyhow, where was I? Oh yeah, going to Sir Jin's office. I went there this morning. I got there and said Hi to all my friends. I walked into my kennel, and I don't really remember much after that, except that I woke up feeling refreshed.
Then, I did my water tank jogging, which was fine. Then Mom came and got me. Sir Jin told her that the films looked great, and that I look great; he hung them on the wall, and they looked at them together. I guess he took some photos while I was sleeping. He always takes black and white photos of me, and frankly, they're not any good. They don't even look like me! Mom takes much better pictures!
But Mom and he looked at the pictures, and Mom was very polite and pretended to be very happy with the pictures he showed her, as he pointed out my hip and my leg (didn't look like my hip OR my leg). And she asked some questions.
And they agreed that he would see me in about two months. I guess Mom thinks I'm going to look different in two months, so she wants to get more pictures then. When I was a puppy, I did look different every few months. But now, not so much. And Mom can take better pictures anyhow. But she's going to bring me back.
I'm not complaining. I like Sir Jin and all my friends there. I just wish the pictures were nicer. If they were, I'd post them here.
On the way home, Mom said I'm healing really well, that someone who used to be called Raymond (he's now called Ex-Ray) told her so. I've never met this guy, so I'm not sure how he knows. But it's good to hear that my hip implant is doing well. She said I can be a little bit more active, a little bit at a time.
That's good news. Frankly, even chewing on my toes was getting boring.
So that's where I'm at. Sir Jin, Ex-Ray and Mom are happy with my progress. I get to be more active. It was sunny and cold today, and I absolutely love sunshine AND cold weather. Santa is coming soon. And for some reason, even with my long nap today, I'm really tired.
So I'm going to take a nap now.
At least, until Mom decides to feed me....
December 12th 2011 1:05 pm
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I'm still in bed today. I'm mad at Mom. She put the cone on me: not the big plastic cone, which is the Worst Thing Ever, but the floppy blue cone, which is still Bad Enough. I was scratching. And she said, "don't make me put the cone on you" like I could MAKE Mom do anything, right?
But I don't do anything all day long, so I get bored at night. Humans don't realize that scratching can be kind of entertaining. Mom has Jimmy Fallon. I have scratching. (I should write scratching a Thank You Note sometime).
Anyhow, my scratching was keeping her awake. Plus she said it's bad for my skin. Next thing, floppy blue cone.
At least it matches my stylish blue collar. I love my collar. It's a couple shades of blue and looks like it has ocean waves on it. Celo, surfer dog. Did I ever mention how much I love to swim? I have to wear a CFD (Canine Flotation Device) in the ocean or a river because of my Hip Dysplasia, but I'm hoping that with my bionic hip, I can retire it. I need to talk to Mom about that.
Swimming. I love swimming. At my trainer's ranch, she has a big lake, and as soon as she would open the gates, I would take off down the hill into the lake-- didn't matter how cold it was or anything. I love that lake!
She's a great trainer, but my recall didn't work if she or Mom told me to Come once I headed for the lake. Once I had my swim, though, I was ready to work. So they stopped trying after about the second try.
See? Humans are trainable too!
But it's hard to train people. It takes a lot of patience and some humans are just really stubborn and not very trainable, like Mom: that's why I'm wearing the cone. So I'm mad. So I'm still in bed.
Meri was in bed and the bed was warm and soft, so I saw no reason to get up. Plus, Mom left her phone here, so I realized I could blog while I lie here. Usually Mom has this with her. She often talks to Dad or Grandma, and sometimes she pushes a button so Meri and I can hear them too. That's very considerate, don't you think, especially when they're talking about us?
I like it when they talk about me. I really like it when Mom tells them about how Meri misbehaves, which is kind of a lot. And Mom says that Meri drives her crazy. But those conversations usually end with "well, she's Meri. What can you do? She's a naughty beagle and you love her."
And Meri grins at me. She has these humans very well trained.
December 11th 2011 3:22 pm
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But I'm bored now
I've been chewing on my toes. I'm bored. Really really bored. And Mom keeps telling me to stop. So I scratch. And Mom says "knock it off Celo!" So I chew my toes again. Sometimes, she even tells me "No!" Yep, Mom, the Positive Reinforcement Clicker Lady.
She's a Hypocrite. What can I tell you?
A lot has been going on. About two months ago, Dad took out Zamboni's little ramp to the deck and put in a much bigger, wider, stronger one. Mom supervised it and was very picky about it. She kept walking on it, and saying "Celo this" and "Celo that." I thought she was being very gracious because I loved running up Zamboni's little ramp at full speed. Sometimes, I would run up and pounce and land on it. So it was getting a bit wobbly. I thought Mom was just making nice upgrades for me.
But then, I went to Sir Jin's about a month ago. They shaved my butt and I came home with a big scar. It had little furry thread things sticking out of it that poked my tongue when I licked them (which wasn't very often because I had to sneak licks when Mom wasn't looking). But he took those out a couple weeks ago, when I went and visited him. He told Mom that I'm great, which is always nice to hear.
It hurt some, but Mom gave me cream cheese that made me feel loopy and then it didn't. So that wasn't a big deal. The big deal is that I can't do ANYTHING. Mom puts a leash on me and puts this thing under my tummy that looks like one of her fleece jackets and we go out together if I have to go potty. We walk out. I have to go down the new ramp (which Dad really did a nice job, by the way. It's very solid). She takes away the jacket-thing and I potty. Then we go back inside. And whoop-de-doo, that's my life.
I go to Sir Jin's office twice a week and I jog in the water tank. That's ok. I did that before the surgery, to build up muscle Mom says, but before, I hated it because it was boring. Now I like it because it's the most exciting thing in my life.
Funny how things change, huh?
So now, I'm bored. Mom has given me a bunch of new toys. I get a new bully stick almost every day, and some raw hides. So she's trying. But I eat the bully sticks almost immediately (they are SO delicious!). I tear apart the toys. I chew on the raw hides for a while. And I'm back to being bored, chewing on my toes, and getting in trouble.
Meri went and had her leg shaved and came home with her own scar a couple weeks ago, but she already gets to go outside on her own AND run around. Plus, she gets to play with the new toys and gets a bully stick too. THAT is not fair.
Meri says it's because I got a hip replacement. Then she showed me the Wikipedia page for the Six Million Dollar Man. And she said that her surgery didn't cost $6,000,000. So I owe it to Mom and Dad to just be thankful and heal quietly. Apparently, Meri just got a regular old knee surgery, same as she did last year, on the other knee. And she says she heals perfectly. So she doesn't need to heal quietly. I don't quite get all this veterinary stuff. But I'm younger than Meri, so I try to learn from her.
So, Meri suggested that I write in my blog to help keep me busy, so I'm not chewing on my toes and making Mom crazy. She reminded me that Mom still pays for my Dogster account even though I'm not grateful and don't use it. And with Christmas coming, she said, it might be nice if I were thankful for a change; that Santa doesn't like ungrateful little dogs.
Gosh, when she put it that way, I feel obligated to start writing again. I had no idea. Good thing that I have my big sister to explain the world to me....
November 12th 2009 4:56 pm
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Apparently, I was the Diary Pick yesterday. I didn't even know it.
Of course, I was working and training. No time to rest on my laurels. I'm not even sure what laurels are, or if I have any. But if I do, I don't get to rest on them. Are they comfortable? Can I sleep comfortably on them?
I'll have to look into this.
I do sleep comfortably when I do rest though. I have a very thick plush butter blanket. That's what I call it. It looks just like butter. We bought it at Costco. Mom bought two for herself. But when we were on vacation, going to Grandma's house which is very far away, it fell off of Mom's bed. I fell asleep on it, and had my best sleep ever. The blanket is soft and snuggly. I decided I should keep it.
Now you would think --knowing Mom the way you do -- that she would say "Oh no, Celo, that's a human blanket." But she didn't. I just lay on the blanket and acted very sweet. I guess she couldn't say "no" to me (imagine that!). So we went back to Costco and she bought another one. Of course, I liked my blanket so much, that I wanted two of them. So when another one fell on the floor, I dragged it to my bed and got both of them situated just the way I wanted them. They're heavy blankets, so it took quite a bit of work.
Meri watched me and said "there's no way Mom is going to let you keep the other one." Of course, Meri is the one that Mom actually buys blankets for. Meri is always ALWAYS cold. So Mom looks at the blankets at Costco and buys her the softest fluffiest blankets. Meri has about 5 blankets in her Boardroom so she can bury herself and stay warm at night. So it's really easy for Meri to tell me that I don't deserve just two buttery blankets.
But lo and behold, Mom said I could keep Blanket #2. But then we went to Costco and they didn't have any more for Mom. So I was sure she was going to take it back.
But on Saturday, she told Dad, "we have to go to the OTHER Costco." When he asked why, she said "to see if they have those throws like Celo likes." (She calls them throws because she keeps throwing them on the floor for me to steal). Dad asked why she can't just take it back from me. But Mom said "no." When Mom says 'no" to us, that is that. When Mom says 'no" to Dad, I guess the matter is settled, as well.
So we went to the Other Costco, and they had the butter blankets. Mom and I were very excited. Dad said "Hon, you're kind of odd." But that's because Dad sleeps with one tiny blanket. Mom's side of the bed looks like a giant mountain; Dad's side, a tiny anthill. Then Mom threw three blankets into the cart (see? That's why they're called "throws"!)
So now, I have one blanket in my Boardroom and two on my bed. Mom also has three on her bed. Dad still has his little blanket, and he's happy with that. Meri is mad she didn't get a new blanket, even though she has 5 blankets in each of her Boardroom and two in her car Boardroom. She thinks I should give her my butter blanket. She's crazy.
So what was I talking about? Oh yes, Diary Pick of the Day. I didn't even know there was such a thing. Is that like a Pulitzer Prize? How is it judged? Is there prize money? If so, I think I'll give mine to charity. I really have everything I need.
Especially now that I have three of my favorite blankets.
Yup. I'm all set.
November 9th 2009 5:12 pm
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So, the Swine didn't win. Miss Claudia is feeling better and I had training today.
I train every Monday with Miss Claudia. It's called a private lesson, although it's not like it's really "private." People can stand right there and listen if they want, which kind of bugs me. Here's what we do. Mom walks up and hands my leash to Miss Claudia. Then she leaves and I have to be very sharp and obedient for Miss Claudia. We don't work at one of my schools though. Mom and I meet her at shopping malls or stores. So I have to WORK and TRAIN at the same time.
It's very demanding.
Mom likes to do it this way because she thinks that it makes me be independent. She wants me to learn to think on my own, without always doing what she tells me or following her lead. Well gosh! She's my mom. What good is she if she isn't telling me what to do! She's very good at telling me what to do, so why should I have to think of what to do all on my own?
I know you're thinking: "Celo, what are you talking about? This sounds great!" But it's not. It's not as though I can say "hey Miss Claudia, let's get a pizza, then go see the movie "Up." And that's not merely because "Up" came out on DVD today and isn't showing in any movie theatres.
It's because Miss Claudia is a tough cookie. She doesn't let me get away with making bad decisions. So when I make one, she says "eh-eh" (which is like "no" except it sounds nicer. But trust me: it's the same thing.). Then she withholds clicks and treats. Worse, she waits until I figure out what a good decision is. Mom does this too, but I don't feel as much stress when it's just me and Mom, probably because I know Mom is paying a lot of money that she could be spending on treats to Miss Claudia. So I better not be wasting that money.
It's very difficult. I like training, but by the end of the day, I feel like my brain has exploded.
So, that was today.
Tomorrow, I train with Miss K, whom I have told you about already. I love Miss K, but she is definitely no pushover either.
Wednesdays, Mom and I take classes at a school. Thursday, we take classes at another school. Fridays, I usually get to rest. Then we work, training on weekends.
I am very busy, as you can see.
Meri sometimes asks me if I wish I weren't a service dog in training? She likes taking obedience classes and agility classes, but she likes snoozing and playing at home a lot too. But I've never known anything else. Plus, my mum and sire were working dogs. So when I was born, my mum told us all about how she would go out and do tracking and other Schutzhund work. My brothers, sisters and I were always very awestruck by my mum's stories.
Mum is so smart, beautiful and has a great working life outside of the whelping box. She's very impressive! One of my sisters was going to stay and live at our breeder's house with mum, so she took notes, because she knew that she would be doing the same sorts of things. We were all envious of her.
But then when Dad flew out from WA and chose me, well, the others were jealous of me. We didn't know exactly what being a service dog meant, but our breeder told us that I would be a working dog, and that I would start my training almost as soon as I got to my new home. She was right. I started the next day. I've been busy ever since.
I'm just proud that I can continue in the pawprints of my dog parents. So on days like today, when it's raining really hard, and Miss Claudia and I are working in an outdoor mall, I keep in mind that I was born for this....
Although, raindrops dripping in my ears can be really distracting, which I don't think humans fully appreciate.... But they say I'm supposed to ignore ALL distractions... even water on the brain?
But there's no arguing with humans. My mum taught me that. I told you she was smart!
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