December 22nd 2011 6:22 pm
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Ooooooooh! I got in trouble today!
Big trouble! Not naughtiness, but Mom-is gonna-kill-me trouble.
She was doing her human stuff that said to me that we were going somewhere. Now Mom didn't say I got to go with her. I just assumed that. She stands in the little room with the bright lights and the big water bowl that I'm not allowed to drink out of, and she brushes her fur and her teeth. She also puts cream on her face and sprays stinky stuff on her fur, and that means we're going somewhere. When she doesn't put cream on her face and spray the stinky stuff, it means we're staying at home. See? That's the difference.
So I figured that maybe we were going to go to Sir Jin's office for my water tank jogging. I was pretty excited because I like to see my friends there. Actually, it doesn't matter where we go, because I always get excited. But I get more excited when I think I'm might get to see my friends.
So maybe, I was a little wild already.
Then Mom put my leash on me and said I needed to go potty. So she booped the Larm and opened the door. It was icy outside. I could see my breath and all the grass was white. When I go potty on days like this, it's always steamy.
And RIGHT THEN, the squirrel (whom I hate) ran right across my deck, right UNDER my nose! And I lunged and ran after him.
I guess when I lunged, I jerked the leash out from Mom's hand, because there was no Mom on the other end of my leash. After 6 weeks of having Mom permanently attached to me, I was free!
I ran all the way across the yard, chasing that squirrel. He climbed the tree, so I tried to climb it too. I didn't get very far up (I never do). So I jumped up and down on my hind legs trying to make myself taller (that never works). Then the squirrel dropped on to the fence and ran on the top of the fence the length of the yard. So I chased after him. He climbed the other tree, so I tried to climb that tree too. I still couldn't climb trees (you have to admire my persistence, though, don't you?). So I did my usual hopping to see if I could somehow catch the squirrel.
What DID work is that I made Mom mad. Furious. She was SCREAMING at me. Not reprimanding me. Not yelling. SCREAMING!!!!
She kept screaming: Stop! NO! Your hip! Celo. Down! Oh Gosh! Your hip!
I didn't really hear her at first. All I heard was the squirrel laughing at me, mocking me because I haven't been able to do anything for the last six weeks because of my hip replacement surgery.
But after I had hopped up and down unsuccessfully for a while, her voice started to trickle in. And she was freaked out. I don't think I've ever heard Mom so freaked out. I got worried.
So when I heard her say, "Down," I lay down.
She grabbed the leash, and took me back into the house. She never gave me the chance to potty. I think that was pretty cruel.
I went into my boardroom. I'm no fool.
She sat for a while. She wasn't mad anymore. She looked like she was about ready to cry. First, I've never seen Mom mad like this. Second, I've never seen Mom go from being mad to sad that quickly. It kind of scared me.
She then asked me to trot down the hall, then come back, then go down the hall, then come back. She did this a bunch of times. Then she put Meri outside, into her boardroom and we left.
Mom was very quiet.
When we got to Sir Jin's office, I didn't get to go right into the water tank and jog. I had to wait and wait. They talked about the fact that Sir Jin is on vacation, and Mom wanted someone else to take a look at me: another Sir Jin, she said, which made no sense to me, because there is only one Sir Jin.
Finally, my rehab vet, Dr. J took me back. She and another doctor did a total exam on me, just like the one Sir Jin did on me last week. They made me walk around, then trot around, then lie down and they felt my hip, then moved my leg and scrunched my legs around, and all that stuff. It was EXACTLY like Sir Jin did last week. It seemed totally pointless. After all, Sir Jin just told Mom that I was great and he didn't need to see me for two months.
I don't even know this other doctor. I don't know why he got to do this exam on me. It seemed very intrusive and very unnecessary. The worst part is that when he moved my leg a certain way, it kind of hurt. Sir Jin didn't do that to me. I didn't like this guy.
Then I got to go into the water tank and jog. Finally!
When we got home, Mom talked to Dad and pushed the button so I could hear the conversation, which she does when it's about me. She told Dad about how I chased the squirrel. He didnt say much. He didn't ask if I caught the squirrel. He didn't say he thought it was charming or cute, or anything. He just listened. She told him about the ridiculous exam that Dr. J and the other doctor did. She said that I didn't do any damage to my bone or the implant, but it appears that I may have pulled a muscle in my thigh because it was tender when they did the exam.
I was surprised when she said that. So the doctors didn't do that? That was an injury from my chasing the squirrel? That doesn't make sense. I've chased squirrels all my life, and have never hurt myself -- except for the time I twisted my ankle; and the time I tweaked my toe; and the time that I banged my head on the shed because I was watching the squirrel on the fence instead of watching where I was going. But other than those times, I've never hurt myself chasing squirrels.
Dad said that maybe hurting myself doing a boneheaded move like that might just teach me a lesson. Mom said, "Yeah. Sure." She wasn't being genuine, though. I could tell.
I think she is still mad at me. She hasn't said anything else. She's being really nice again. But something isn't right. Dad asked if she's still upset, and she said "No, I'm ok." But I don't think she was genuine when she said that either.
So that's where I am right now. I have a Mom that's mad at me. My thigh muscle kind of hurts. Dad thinks that I'm a bonehead. It's dinner time and I'm kind of afraid to say anything.
That stupid squirrel. This is all his fault. Next time I see him, I'm going to chase him down and....
Aw darn. See? Dad was right. I AM a bonehead.
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