December 19th 2011 4:06 pm
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So now I have to do Yoga.
I already do stretching. Lots of it. Mom makes me do play bows and forward stretches every single morning. I have to do three bows and three stretches every morning before she lets me go outside.
It's terribly cruel. Mom says she does it because she doesn't want me to go straight from my warm bed in the warm house straight into the freezing cold. She says that stretching warms up my muscles. I think she's making that up. My muscles are ALREADY warm. After all, I'm coming out of a WARM BED! But no. And you know how Mom is.
I used to argue with her. And the door stayed closed. So now I just bow. Stretch. Bow. Stretch. Bow. Stretch. And I get to go outside. And I've really learned not to wait until I super duper have to wait to pee before I get out of bed. I need to give myself some buffer time or I might explode.
Mom says that since I'm an adult, I shouldn't wait until the last possible second anyhow. But I'm only two. I think that officially, as a German Shepherd, I get a little wiggle room on that "adult" stuff. But again, there's no arguing with Mom.
But back to yoga. I've been scratching my sides a lot. I've also been chewing my hip, and one of my armpits. Mom said that means that my muscles are tight. I think it means I'm just itchy. But what do I know? Itchy, uncomfortable, tight. It all feels the same to me. It just means I feel the need to scratch and chew.
Mom says tight muscles. Ok. That's what Mom says. So she said she thinks that maybe I'm working too hard at rehab in the jogging water tank. But that's not it. I like working that hard. It's more exciting to jog than walk slowly. So she asked my rehab vet, Dr. J.
Actually, she didn't do that. She pinned a note to my harness. Yes, I know. How embarrassing! She said she was worried that she might forget to ask Dr. J. Thus the note. I was still humiliated to have a note from home pinned to me, like I'm a little kid going to kindergarten (After all, I graduated from all three of my puppy classes YEARS ago).
And Dr. J. gave Mom all sorts of stretches for me to do. They said it's like Yoga.
I was pretty excited. I've seen yoga on TV. I thought I would look good in stretchy comfy yoga pants, and I could do my bows and say "Namaste" to everyone in my yoga class. And there would be a nice yoga instructor who would walk around and say in a quiet voice, "yes. Celo. That's great." It would be great. I could probably be in the advanced class since I already know Downward Dog and Cat Stretch. And afterward, we can go to the juice store and I can get a muffin. I've never had a muffin. But I've seen people in yoga pants at the juice store, so I think you're supposed go there after yoga class.
But. Um. No.
Once again, Mom disappointed me. She said I would have to do the yoga at home. With her.
No yoga pants. No "Namaste." No nice instructor encouraging me.
And Mom will probably make me do ALL of it before I go outside to pee.
I think I'll just stay in bed all day and scratch my sides and chew my armpit. Without muffins, it doesn't seem like the effort to get out of bed is worth it.
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