edited: April 3rd, 2008

When I'm wif dem I never get skared an' it's like I'm a little kitteh again wif mah Mom in da log listenin' to the foods chirp

Mom was a teenager herself when I was born out in the woods in the North Cascades. Ceiling Cat had to come to help my brothers and sisters across the Rainbow Bridge so they could keep warm. Mom made a nice nest for us in a log but there were no aunties to help Mom with food for her and milk for us and heat for our nest - which was so new there were no bird feathers or fur for its lining. Finally it got really cold and Mom saved me by taking me to a farm house where there was a turkey roasting. She told me that two-legged people would take wonderful care of us. Well, my goodness gracious! She never told me they were so danged big and noisy! They just swooped me right up into the air and got aholt of me and boy I tell you I let loose with the pointy ends of all my feet and I went / and then / and escaped under the sofa! Mom stayed by the sofa, talking to me and talking nice to the people and showing them her tummy. Her tummy! That’s my place! I could not believe my eyes, but it worked and in no time the people were down on all fours and making soft noises and I could see it made Mom real happy, especially when they brought out the turkey and the tuna, which Mom ate first but then she always brought me my total fill and I fell asleep. Next was an awful, blurry time. Full of two-legged people, some noisier than others, but Mom like totally stayed by my side and we kept each other warm and she talked real nice to me. Then Ceiling Cat brought together our Forever Four wif Momb da Bomb and Big Daddy. We eats everyday and we all have our special places for naps an’ dis is our forever home and nobody snatches me up or traps me or makes big people noises at me. And I jump up onto the Special Place and Momb or Big Daddy just brush and brush and brush me… oooooo! They say I’m a good cat, a best cat, their forever cat so finally I like it for dem to pet me, too, and I learn real quick! It was only two years! Now I’m so in love I just, well, um, sniff, it makes me cry. I help out around the house, too. When Momb stops breathing or the oxygen comes unconnected I stand on her chest and yell until someone takes care of it. So, see, I'm kind of, well, I relapse with strangers and I hides from dem. But you know what? My veterinarians and everybody at Elliott Bay have never ever even once made me scared! Just like my real Mom they carries me by my scruff and I curlz up like I wuz a little kitteh all over again and dats all I dream about is been liddle an' bein' wif my Mom and we're in our log together, listening to all the food chirping. An’ dats all I ever remember. Well. Except I do certainly remember that stick that, um, that they, well aaah, they put it in my BUM! But it doesn’t hurt and they make it important an’ they don’t make me accidentally deploy so it’s okay an’ I just remember the sound of da food chirping. Mom's tried to teach me to catch birds but our forever home is way way up in a really big tree and only a few birds come which my Mom catches. She eats da first one and den da second one is for me to learn but after awhile even she gives up. Last time she looked at me and said, "You're just like your father! An American catalump, all feet and no brains!" But I know she was just kiddin' because we look like total twins, except I'm quite bigger and fiercer. Iz just dat I’m a technocat an’ a Marxist and once we were … …